Man Up Stepbrother

by Danielle Sibarium

  "Everything," she whimpers. "I feel like I was hit by a truck." She winces as she turns slightly toward me.

  I squeeze my eyes tight and swallow down the emotion biting at my heart. She's okay, that's what's important. Stay in the moment. "Accidents have a way of doing that to you."

  "Seriously, why are you here? Who called you? How did they get your number?"

  "I was only a few minutes behind you. I saw the accident and called for help."

  "Behind me? Why?"

  "We were going to my place. Don't you remember?"

  No answer. I have a funny feeling in my gut. She doesn't remember. That's why she's so standoffish. Guess I need to back up a few hours and see where that takes me.

  "Allie, are you mad at me?"

  Her eyes shoot icy spears at me and her jaw juts out. "Yes. I heard you on the phone with Lexi."

  I nod. That's what I thought. The whole night is wiped from her memory. Fuck! I grasp her hand in mine and hold it tight, taking away her option of no contact. "It was a misunderstanding. My lame attempt at humor. That's all."

  "I don't know if I should believe you."

  "You should." I say, bringing her hand to my lips. "I know you don't remember, but we kissed and made up. I told you how sorry I am and promised nothing like that will ever happen again."

  Her eyes are uncertain. She doesn't know whether or not to believe me. At least she's not ordering me to leave.

  "Then why don't I remember any of that?"

  "I'm guessing you hit your head pretty hard. Did you see who did it?"

  "Who did what?" she asks, looking genuinely confused.

  "The guy who hit you."

  "Aleena," a male voice comes at us as the privacy curtain is opened. "How are we doing?" he says in too cheery a voice. "All ready to go get some films done and see what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

  "I guess," her voice is barely audible.

  "Sir, you can wait here, we won't be gone too long."

  I nod, pissed that I can't go with her. "Hey, I'll be right here when you get back," I promise.

  Once the orderly rolls Allie away, I call Lexi. Allie isn't right, and I might need some help getting through to her.

  *

  "The doctor won't speak to me about Allie's condition," I explain to Lexi. "Not unless she gives him permission, but she doesn't want me there because she thinks she's pissed at me."

  "She thinks she pissed at you? Wouldn't she know if she's pissed?"

  "Ok, smart-ass, if she's still mad at me, she's still mad at you, too," I shoot back at her.

  "See what a jackass you are, you fuck everything up." She hits the top of my arm.

  Standing behind his wife, Noah wraps his arm around Lexi's shoulders and pulls her against his chest. "Easy. I was pretty pissed too. It's a good thing your buddy here cleared it all up. Now you need to do the same for him."

  I smirk, feeling like Noah just helped me one up Lexi.

  "Fine," she snarls. "What's the last thing she does remember?"

  I shake my head. "I don't know. But I promise you, we kissed and made up. And she liked it. A lot."

  "Idiot."

  "I'd keep my voice down if I were you unless you're ready for everyone to know," Noah warns. "Troy and Marlena were right behind us."

  "Why'd you tell them?"

  "They were still at the house. We couldn't just leave without an explanation," Noah explains.

  "Yeah, but now he's going to come and be all brotherly toward her and expect me to do the same."

  "Hey," Lexi says, snapping her fingers in my face to reclaim my attention. "What do you want me to do?"

  "Go visit her, find out what you can about her condition. And most important, make sure you remind her what she overheard on that phone call was a joke and we all made up."

  Lexi walks away, shaking her head, as my brother and his wife arrive.

  "How is she?" Troy asks.

  "She's doing fine, except she doesn't remember anything from earlier in the night."

  "It's a good thing you were so close behind her.”

  "Yeah." It's fucking wonderful. I shouldn't have been close, I should've been with her.

  I separate myself from the group before my brother starts asking questions like why we were on the way to my place instead of hers and why I was far enough behind that I didn't see what happened. I sit in an uncomfortable plastic chair, elbows on my knees, head in my hands, hoping Lexi gets through to her, because the fact that I'm sitting out here means I didn't.

  It feels like hours pass before Lexi shows her face again. I don't move but listen closely as she reports back.

  "Allie's fine, Just a touch of retrograde amnesia. She has a mild concussion, along with some bumps and bruises. The doctor is going over the discharge instructions with her.”

  "Discharge? They're letting her go?" I ask.

  "Yes, but they don't want her to be alone for the next forty-eight hours. I invited her to stay with Noah and me."

  Not a good idea. Allie would never admit it, but hearing Lexi's announcement hurt.

  "She'll stay with us," Marlena's words break through my thoughts and capture my attention. "We have a guest room. Besides, it'll be nice to have another adult around to talk to. We won't take no for an answer."

  That's all I need, for Allie to go home with Mr. and Mrs. stepsiblings-of-the-year. Because that won't fuck with her head even more and then I could kiss any shot I have with her goodbye. Too bad, I came too far tonight to give up.

  "No," I say. "She should be home where she's comfortable."

  "Except Mom and Vic are halfway across the world. Staying with us is the best option," Troy adds.

  "No, it's not." I work at keeping my tone low and even-keeled. "I know she's crazy about Mia, but being around a two-year old isn't exactly the epitome of peace and quiet. Besides, we don't know how she's dealing with the hole in her memory. Being somewhere she's not familiar with might make her anxious. She'll be much more comfortable at home."

  "He's right." Noah backs me up. I'm not sure if it's because he really agrees or because he knows I'll move heaven and earth to make Allie happy.

  Troy exhales. His plans of grandeur seep out of him along with the extended breath. "I guess I can stay with her for a couple of days." Damn him, he won't let this go.

  "There's no reason for you to leave your wife and daughter to babysit Allie. I'm sure you'll be much more comfortable at home. The only thing that makes sense is for me to stay with her," I continue. "l don't have any plans for the weekend, and as you always like to tell me, I make myself at home wherever I go."

  "You?" my brother asks incredulously. "You and Allie barely even tolerate each other. And you were so nasty to her before. Besides, isn't there something you should be running off to do, like pick up girls or fight a war?"

  I ball my hands into fists.

  Noah steps between us as I advance on my brother. This is why I left. Why I escaped into an unimaginable hell. My family didn't get me. Never did. Troy was the golden boy and I was the fuck up. My mother tried to be impartial, but my father pinned us against each other at every turn.

  All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be more like your brother?" "Why are you always causing trouble in school?" "Why can't you get Troy's grades?" Maybe if he spent an iota of the time with me that he spent with my brother, he would've seen I wasn't made for school. Troy could sit and study. I needed to be physical, to be on the move.

  I needed to do something to prove I was better than they thought. Better than the box they put around me, so I enlisted. Turns out, that only pushed my father and I further apart.

  Noah grabs Troy by the arm and pulls him off to the side. Marlena joins them, leaving me alone with Lexi.

  "That wasn't nice," she says.

  "Same old, same old," I shrug it off. "Do you think Noah's going to tell him?"

  "What, that you have the hots for your stepsister?" she teases before turning serious. "Nah. But I'm
warning you, you better not hurt her, Jagger. She's not exactly fragile, but the whole thing with Bailey, it left her in pieces, and I've never seen her like this."

  I nod, my eyes still on my brother and his friend. "I think it has to do with the baby. I know she won’t admit it, but she feels like everyone in her life that was supposed to love her turned on her, and she resents the fact that he's having a baby with another woman when she's yearning for her own family as a way to sort of prove that she is lovable."

  "Where in the hell did you come up with that?"

  "She didn't say it outright, but if you listen to her, she has no relationship with her mother anymore. She felt abandoned by her father as a teenager, acts like her brothers don't even exist. And feels completely betrayed by Bailey."

  Lexi's eyes widen in disbelief. "Oh shit. You really like her."

  "Knowing how to read people makes me better at what I do."

  "No. That's not it. You really like her," she whispers.

  "Shh. Keep your voice down," I warn.

  "You love her." Lexi taunts. "You want to hug her and kiss her and marry her." Lexi wraps her arms around herself, closes her eyes, and puckers her lips.

  I can't help but laugh. "You look like an idiot."

  Everything comes to a halt as the door to the back opens and a nurse wheels Allie out into the waiting area. I feel a jolt in my heart as a sparking current sputters between us once our eyes meet and lock. I see the faintest hint of a smile play at the corners of her lips, and I'm going to melt like a snowman in a sauna if I don't get to her. Now.

  I forget Lexi and her teasing. She can tease me all she wants, and I'll gladly take it as long as Allie is my reward.

  "Hey, I figured since you have no wheels of your own to get out of this place, I'll drive you home and help nurse you back to health until you kick me to the curb."

  "Really?" She looks from me to Lexi with caution in her eyes. "Why?"

  "Because there's no better place I'd rather be than with you," I say, low enough that only the three of us can hear. I have no problem letting the others know how I feel. Noah already does, but I'm not up for a lecture at the moment, and I doubt she is either.

  "Allie, take it easy on him," Lexi starts. "The poor bastard has it bad for you. He actually listens when you talk. That's a first for him."

  "You're going to explain that, right?" she asks Lexi as if I'm not standing a few inches away.

  "Yeah, we need to have a serious talk when you're feeling better," she says before heading off to Noah's side.

  "You don't have to do this." Allie says, letting me off the hook. "I appreciate it, but Lexi already offered for me to stay with her and Noah tonight."

  "And I already squashed those plans," I explain. "Troy and Marlena offered to look after you as well, but I insisted the last thing you wanted was to be in a strange bed. Since I live alone and have no plans for the weekend, I'm the best choice. Now you're stuck with me."

  Chapter 10

  Allie

  "Do you have to hit every hole on the road?" I hold my head as we bump our way from the hospital to my father's house, a.k.a. the place I've been staying since Bailey and I broke up.

  "I'll slow down, but I'm warning you, it'll just take longer to get there."

  "Fine. Please, my head is killing me."

  "Sorry." He reaches for my hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing my knuckles and making my body tingle, despite the pain I'm in.

  I close my eyes, wishing I could shut off my brain. It hurts to think. Keeping my eyes closed only makes the dizziness worse. Still, I replay what I remember of the day and night, hoping I can remember how I ended up going home with Jagger.

  I met with a client late in the evening, Carmine Salvatore. He's the operations manager for a quaint bed and breakfast at the shore. He's looking to update the look while still keeping the warmth and elegance the place currently has. He liked what I showed him and I have a really good feeling about it. The next thing I remember is waking up in the ambulance and being told I was in a car accident.

  "You're awfully quiet," Jagger says, giving my hand a squeeze. "Are you alright?"

  "Just trying to remember," I open my eyes and look at him.

  "Don't try too hard. If you want me to fill you in on anything, I'll be happy to after you've gotten a good night's rest.”

  Why are we together right now? Jagger hasn't called me in days. That didn't make me feel any better about what I heard between him and Lexi. In fact, it bothered me more. It shouldn't have, since I was the one giving him the cold shoulder. What did I expect him to do? Continue to pursue me regardless?

  I know it's irrational, but that is exactly what I wanted him to do. Keep calling even though the calls went straight to voicemail just so he could hear the sound of my voice. Send me text messages to let me know he's thinking of me. He didn't though. He gave up, just like I thought he would. Just like I expected.

  He claims we met up at Lexi's and he explained it was a poor attempt at humor. Lexi said the same thing. Actually, she said he's an asshat that's clueless about how to talk to a woman he likes. That fact only confirms the one thing I do know about Jagger. Women and sex are casual for him.

  "Jagger? Why were we going to your place?"

  He gives me a sideward smirk and I feel my pulse racing.

  "Why do you think? You find me irresistible," he winks.

  Jackass. How can he be so sure of himself? I'm too nervous to speak until he parks the car in front of my father's house. I need to clear this up and quick, because if the expectations aren't appropriately set, it could spell disaster.

  "Seriously. We weren't going to..." I can't bring myself to say it.

  He leans over, one hand on the steering wheel, the other cupping my cheek with a delicate touch, like I'm a butterfly he's trying to convince not to fly away. His face, his lips are only inches from mine, but even right now, with everything aching and hurting, I want him to close the distance and kiss me.

  He smiles as he takes a long look into my eyes. The seriousness of his face has me bracing myself for what I'm about to hear. I hope nothing happened between us at Lexi's that I should be remembering, that I'd really want to remember and possibly cherish. If it did, one of them would've filled me in about it by now, wouldn't they? Unless Lexi, like me, doesn't know what really transpired between us

  "We'll talk about everything tomorrow."

  It's a letdown, but I accept it. The pain in my head has gotten worse, and all I want to do is sleep this off.

  Jagger helps me out of the truck, gripping my hips until he steadies me on the ground. Once he sees I'm not wobbling, he grasps my elbow and leads me into the house. It helps that he knows the layout and I don't have to tell him where anything is. He directs me straight into my bedroom and sits me on the bed.

  "Getting lots of rest is the most important thing right now. I'll get you a glass of water while you change, and then I'll come tuck you in,” he teases.

  "Where are you going to sleep?"

  "The guest room."

  "That's so far away. What if I need you? How will you know?"

  "Tell me, Aleena." His voice drips with longing when he says my name. I fall a little harder for him every time he says it. "Where do you want me to stay?"

  I hate the fact that my head is doing its best impression of a drum and I can't think straight. That I can't remember, and that all I want is to be wrapped up in his arms.

  "Stay with me." I can't believe I'm putting myself out there like this after what happened the last time we shared a bed. I rationalize it with the fact that if I wake and yell for him in the middle of the night, it will make the pain worse. Besides, if we really kissed and made up, this is where I'd want him, right next to me. And he'll know better than to leave me again.

  "Okay."

  It doesn't take a whole lot to convince him, and my heart flutters when he agrees. I wonder if that's why he's here, to have a redo and make up where he went wrong last time.
<
br />   "Get changed. I'll be right back with that water." I wince as he kisses my forehead. "Sorry. It won't happen again."

  Before I can argue or explain I made that face because of the pain, not because of the gesture, he's gone. I do as instructed and slide under the covers. A new wave of pain overtakes me as I rest my head on the pillow. I never imagined something so soft and inviting could cause so much pain. I want to cry, but I don't allow myself. That will only make it worse. I close my eyes because all I want to do is slip away into unconsciousness.

  When Jagger returns, I don't open my eyes. I'm not exactly asleep yet, but I feel like I'm walking on the precipice and I want to fall into a deep, sweet slumber. Although he tries to be quiet, I hear rustling as he gets undressed.

  After a minute, Jagger joins me under the covers. He doesn't wrap me in his arms like last time, and it disappoints me. I liked the safe, protected feeling of having his hard muscles envelope me.

  Jagger is careful not to move much, and he keeps distance between our bodies. I know he's trying to make it easier on me, to keep me safe. I'm not sure if it's safe for my head, or safe for my heart. I consider scooting toward him so my back is against his chest, but even the thought hurts.

  "Sweet dreams," he says, draping his arm over my hip. I take his hand and holding it, I pull it around me. Other than that, I don't respond. I've already taken flight into the weightlessness of sleep.

  *

  I stretch and yawn, not sure if it's the sizzling sound of bacon frying on the stove or the decadent smell that wakes me. Nothing in the world smells better.

  The first couple of days Jagger woke me with breakfast in bed. Each morning since, he's prepared the meal and had it on the kitchen table waiting for me. Every day it's something different and always features meat of some sort. He promises my head will feel better with protein at every meal, and it seems to be working.

  "Good morning," I say, walking into the kitchen to find him at the stove, shirt off, hair going in all directions. He looks calm and relaxed, like this is the exact spot he belongs in, and I think maybe it is.

  "Morning, sunshine." he says, giving me a playful smile. "I didn't wake you, did I?"