Laura Ingalls Is Ruining My Life

by Shelley Tougas

  Again Mia yelled out the window for Rose.

  I said, “I’ll go look.”

  “No,” Miguel said. “It’s too dangerous.”

  “I’ll come right back if I don’t see her.”

  “You might lose sight of the van. We don’t need two lost kids. People die in this weather.”

  “Silencio!” Mia shushed him in Spanish as if I couldn’t understand she was telling him to be quiet and not scare me. Too late. I was terrified.

  “What if she slips on the ice and hits her head and passes out? What if she wanders on the highway and the plow hits her?”

  “That’s not going to happen.” Mia stretched into the back seat and patted my leg like her magic hand could put me in a calm trance.

  Miguel said, “We’ve done all we can do. We need to call the police.”

  The grilled cheese sandwich churned in my stomach and threatened to come back up. “Can the police cars get through?”

  “They’ll need trucks.” Slowly he turned the van around. “Or the county could send the plow. We’ll figure it out.”

  “We sure will,” Mia said.

  “Yes,” Miguel said. “We will.”

  Mia called the police and reported that Rose was lost somewhere in town while Miguel assured me it was going to be fine, just fine, nothing to worry about at all, nope, it was all going to end with Rose at one of the neighbor’s houses drinking hot chocolate and eating cookies and calling us, and we were going to feel silly calling 911 for no reason whatsoever.

  By the time Mia finished describing Rose’s winter gear to the police officer, we were back in the garage. Inside the house, Mia made us hot chocolate, and I told them everything about my argument with Rose, including her confession. They stared at me in disbelief. Nobody believed Rose would do such a thing. Then I burst into tears and stammered, “I yelled at her. I said I hoped she’d get lost in a blizzard.”

  “You didn’t mean it,” Julia said. “Besides, Pa Ingalls got lost in blizzards a couple of times every year. He was always lost in a blizzard. He’d dig a snow cave.”

  “Rose doesn’t know how to dig a snow cave.”

  “Rose watched YouTube videos on how to churn butter. She knows all about snow caves. I’m positive.” Julia’s perky voice reminded me of Rose the rainbow-finder. She was more reassuring than Mia, who kept patting me on the back.

  Miguel said, “She’s not wandering around the prairie. She’s in town somewhere. She’s bound to end up at someone’s house. We’ll get a phone call any minute from a neighbor or the police.”

  “Someone will call.” Mia gave each of us a cookie. “Any minute.”

  Minutes passed.

  An hour passed.

  The phone didn’t ring.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  Shortly after midnight, the wind’s howl turned to a whimper. Julia slept in the recliner, but Mia, Miguel, and I sat on the couch and stared at the clock. Miguel parted the drapes and looked outside. “The snow has mostly stopped. I think I’ll drive around the park again.”

  “Can you get through the snow?” Mia asked.

  “If we get rid of the snow that’s blown against the garage, I think I can get to the street. If I get stuck, I’ll just walk back and wait for the plow.”

  “I’ll help shovel,” I said.

  Julia’s eyes popped open. “Is the storm over?”

  “We’re going to clear out the driveway and drive to the park,” I said.

  “I’ll help, too.”

  This time I bundled up in Mia’s gear. Under the streetlights, the three of us made quick work of clearing the driveway. I’d helped Miguel with the sidewalk and driveway before. Shoveling was an odd chore. No matter how cold it was, after a few minutes of lifting and dumping snow, you’d sweat like crazy. Your face would ache from the cold, but your back would be sticky from sweat.

  When we had half of the driveway clear, Miguel said, “Let’s give it a try. Hopefully I won’t get stuck in the street.”

  Julia and I shoveled the sidewalk as he backed out and drove down the street. The van moved ten feet; then the tires spun and spit snow. The van fishtailed and came to a stop. Miguel shifted the van from forward to reverse and back again, but he was stuck. Miguel, Julia, and I shoveled a path behind the van to the driveway. Then Miguel backed up, pulled into the driveway, and parked in the garage.

  “I’ll take a little walk,” he said. “You girls go inside and get warm.”

  Inside Mia made another round of hot chocolate and opened a can of chicken noodle soup. “The police called. No news yet. And your mom texted. They’re at a gas station waiting for a plow to go through. I didn’t say anything about Rose. No reason to make her panic. She’d force Shorty to venture out ahead of the plow, and they’d end up in a ditch.”

  “Maybe you should tell her.”

  “Trust me. I’m a mother.”

  Julia stirred marshmallows into cups of hot chocolate and handed a cup to me. “Let’s think like Rose. If you were Rose, and you ran off because you were scared and mad, where would you go?”

  “Rose never gets scared and mad.”

  “I bet she went to the museum. Maybe she broke into the sod house and hunkered down there. It’d be easy to get into it.”

  “Maybe,” I said. “Should we look?”

  “You’re both staying here. When Miguel gets back, I’ll talk to him about it.”

  I sipped the hot chocolate and tried to think of anything except Rose. My brain jumped from subject to subject, but Rose stayed in the mix. Mrs. Newman, Mrs. Lester, Rose. Jack, Freddy, Rose. Bao, Emma, Rose. Rose and Rose and Rose.

  Julia said, “She’s going to be okay.”

  “She will,” Mia said. “I’ve been praying all night. Jesus protects children.”

  I nodded and thought of the spelling bee and how Laura’s energy delivered transcontinental to me. I silently asked Laura for help—Laura because she survived one of the worst winters on record, Laura because she loved her sisters, and Laura because she knew Rose’s heart was gold, even if she’d done a bad thing.

  Would Laura forgive Rose?

  My heart said yes.

  Mia said, “The police officer said they put an announcement on the radio. Someone will find her.”

  Her news didn’t make me feel better.

  Who’s listening to the radio at two a.m.?

  Nobody.

  Except, it turned out, for one person.

  Rose. Rose was listening to the radio at two a.m.

  * * *

  When Mia’s cell phone rang at 2:15 in the morning, she looked stunned. “It’s your mom.”

  “Put her on speaker,” I said.

  “Hello,” Mia said. “I’ve got you on speaker.”

  “Is Charlotte with you?”

  “I’m here, Mom.”

  Mom sighed with relief. “Rose just called me. She’s safe.”

  Mia and Julia hugged each other.

  “Where is she?” I asked.

  “She said you two got in a fight, and she ran outside and got disoriented in the snow. She ended up at Shorty’s station. She went inside, but the clerk was in the back room. She was afraid, I guess, so she hid in the bathroom. I don’t know why she didn’t find the clerk and tell him she needed help.”

  I knew why—she didn’t want to have to explain what she was running from. Apparently Rose hadn’t told Mom the whole story.

  “Is she still there?” Mia asked.

  Mom cleared her throat. “The clerk closed early and made it home. When he left, Rose got some food and water and sat in Shorty’s office listening to the radio. When she heard the alert, she knew she needed to call.”

  Mia put her hand on her heart. “Thank the Lord.”

  “Charlotte, why were you fighting with Rose? And why didn’t you call me?”

  “It’s complicated,” I said.

  “Charlotte can explain when you get home,” Mia said. “Complicated doesn’t begin to descri
be it. Just be safe. I’ll see if the county can get the plow here right away. We’ll get her home.”

  “Thank you, Mia.” Mom sounded really tired. “Charlotte, sounds like we have a lot to talk about. Get some sleep, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  The call ended. I didn’t even care if Mom was mad at me. She’d get the real story soon enough. Rose was safe, and that’s all that mattered.

  While Miguel went to get Rose, Mia shuffled Julia and me into Julia’s bedroom and told us to get some sleep. I was wide-awake, though. We’d been going full speed all night, and the energy didn’t stop pumping just because the lights were out. I needed Julia to understand what had happened.

  “Julia, I just found out the truth today. I wasn’t hiding it from you to protect Rose.”

  “I know.”

  “I made up the stuff about your dad and Bad Chad because—”

  “Just stop, okay? I’m glad Rose is okay, but I don’t forgive you for bringing my dad into it and making me feel bad. Not just bad, Charlotte. Awful.”

  My heart nearly melted. This was worse than Molly Smith. Way worse. I’d lost Molly because Mom had made us move. I had nobody to blame for losing Julia except myself.

  “Can we talk about it?”

  “I’m tired,” she said. “I just want to sleep.”

  I whispered, “Okay.”

  Julia’s breathing slowed, and in a few minutes I could tell she was sleeping. But I couldn’t close my eyes. Mia opened the door and peeked inside. She whispered, “Still awake?”

  “Yes.”

  “The radio says there’s no school tomorrow. You can sleep late.”

  “Is Rose back?”

  “She’s on the couch, but she’s already out cold. Your mom says they’re behind a plow now. Probably an hour away.”

  “Did you tell her about Rose and the museum?”

  Mia sighed. “I gave her the short version. She asked what set everything off, so I told her.”

  “Okay. Good.”

  Mia closed the door. I waited until the hall lights snapped off. Then I got up and went to the living room. Rose was wrapped in a blanket on the couch. Her long hair curled around her chin, and her cheeks were chapped from the cold. First I wanted to hug her. Then I wanted to take a pillow and hit her with it. Then I wanted to hug her again. How was it possible to be happy and relieved to see her but also feel angry? Worse than angry—furious. It was like sweating in the cold. Nothing in Walnut Grove made sense.

  Instead of going back to Julia’s room, I settled into the recliner near Rose.

  No school tomorrow? Good.

  But sleep late?

  Hah. I’d be lucky if I slept at all.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  After lunch the next day, after we’d all had plenty of rest, Mom set up her essential oil diffuser and put a drop of lavender oil in it. “This will help us relax and stay focused while we talk about what happened,” she said. Within minutes, the basement smelled wonderful. Rose told Mom everything—about feeling like an only child her whole life, about Rey and his new wife and their twins, about the museum ladies saying mean things about Mom and trash-talking my project, about Laura abandoning Mom and her writing. At that point, Mom dabbed essential oil on her wrists.

  Then Rose told her something she hadn’t told me. “I read Charlotte’s school assignment about the Trail of Tears. The article was about how settling the West destroyed the Indians. They literally had to walk hundreds of miles so the pioneers could have their land. And they got sick and there wasn’t enough food and the weather was terrible, but the government didn’t care and the pioneers didn’t care. The Indians had to keep marching, and tons of them died. Tons!”

  At that point, Mom dabbed the oil behind her ears.

  Rose said, “We have museums all over the United States bragging about how great we are because we built a new country. We have books and movies and songs. But our stories are wrong.” Her shoulders slumped. “Can I try some of that oil?”

  I put a drop on my finger and rubbed it on Rose’s wrist. Freddy said, “I know what you mean, but I’m glad we’re here. I’m glad there are fifty states and roads and the Internet and that I get to live in this country.”

  “If you’re glad, then you don’t know what I mean,” Rose said.

  Freddy crossed his arms. “How does spray-painting a building make it better? That’s just dumb, Rose.”

  “I’m not dumb. You’re dumb!”

  “I didn’t say you are dumb. I said what you did is dumb.”

  “Let’s not use the word dumb,” Mom said. “It’s not a productive word.”

  “Speaking of dumb, what’s with L-A-R-A?” I asked.

  “I started to panic about getting caught, but it was too late. I’d sprayed the building. At the last second, I figured if I misspelled Laura they’d think it was someone who didn’t know much about her.”

  “So you decided to spray-paint Laura’s building because the government was terrible to the Indians?” Freddy said. “Am I the only one who thinks that’s ridiculous?”

  “No. I think it’s ridiculous,” I said.

  “Let her finish,” Mom said. “Go on, Rose.”

  Rose frowned. “Here’s something I bet you didn’t know. In the first version of Little House on the Prairie, which came out almost one hundred years ago, Laura described the prairie like this: ‘There the wild animals wandered and fed as though they were in a pasture that stretched much farther than a man could see, and there were no people. Only Indians lived there.’ I memorized it.”

  Freddy thought for a minute. “So? What’s your point?”

  “She said no people. Only Indians. She basically said Indians aren’t people.”

  Slowly Freddy’s face registered her point. Mom said, “I don’t remember that. I’ve read that book a dozen times.”

  “Someone wrote to the publisher, and they changed the word people to settlers for the next printing. Laura felt terrible about it. She didn’t mean it the way it came out. Still, it bugs me. I can’t stop thinking about it. That’s why I quit reading the biography.”

  “I had no idea,” Mom said. “How did I not know this?”

  “That’s the way people were back then,” Freddy said. “It’s not right to blame people now for what happened one hundred years ago. Laura Ingalls didn’t force the Indians to move. The museum ladies didn’t force them to move, either. Do you want us to demolish all our cities and make it buffalo land again?”

  “That’s not the point!” Rose yelled. “You got me all sidetracked.”

  “We don’t yell in this family,” Mom said. “Speak calmly or go to your room until you can.”

  “Fine. I won’t yell.” Rose took a deep breath. “I wasn’t mad at Laura. Laura’s building just happened to be there, and all that information about Laura and the Trail of Tears just happened to be fresh in my head.” Rose stewed for a few seconds and then spit out the words, “I was mad at her.” She pointed at me.

  “Me?”

  “All you wanted that night was Freddy. You wanted everything to be the way it used to be. Just the two of you together all the time.”

  “That’s not true.” I said it without force because, in a way, it was true.

  “I’m nothing to you. I’m nobody. I’m just the ghost sister.”

  “Now that is definitely not true. You’re a great sister. The best!”

  “It’s always been you two against me. This year he dumped you. And I’ve been there for you. Me! Still you like him better, even though he’s a big jerk.”

  Mom gasped.

  Freddy frowned and stared at his feet.

  I didn’t know what to say. I wished with every cell in my body that Bad Chad was the villain. If Rose was the villain, and Bad Chad was Innocent Chad, then I didn’t understand the world at all. I’d always thought I had people figured out, but I’d made a lot of mistakes in Walnut Grove. Julia wasn’t fake-nice. She was nice-nice. Mrs. Newman wasn’
t mean. She was brave. And Bao was more than Purple Glasses Girl. She was a friend.

  “I don’t know what to say about any of this.” Mom sighed. “I’m rarely at a loss for words. Rose, you have to tell the police what you did.”

  “I know.”

  “And you have to figure out a way to make it right with Charlotte. Obviously I’m upset about what you did, but I’m devastated that you’d stand by and let Charlotte suffer.”

  “I know!” Rose stood up and paced. “I could hardly stand it. You have to believe me. It was eating me up. I wasn’t going to let Charlotte get in trouble. I swear I planned to admit it. I was waiting for the universe to send me courage.”

  “That’s totally lame.” My temper was rising again, but it cooled as soon as I saw the look on Mom’s face.

  Mom’s hands shook and her voice cracked. “Our family is broken.”

  I’d never heard Mom sound like that. I put my arm around her. “We’re not broken.” I tried to think of something that would make her feel better. “We’re … healing. You can’t have … um, joy … if you don’t sometimes have pain.”

  Freddy got a roll of toilet paper and gave a wad to Mom. She said, “I thought we were a close family.”

  “We are!” I said. “And now we’ll be even closer.”

  “I’m sorry I broke us,” Rose whispered.

  Mom wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “You didn’t break us. Charlotte’s right. We’ll come through this even stronger than before. You make this family complete, Rose. I love you. I’m proud of your beautiful heart.”

  Freddy sighed. “A guy can only take so much of this stuff. I need a time-out.” Freddy tossed me the roll of toilet paper and went into his bedroom.

  Mom and Rose snuggled on the couch, and Mom patted the seat next to her. But I said, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  I followed Freddy to his room where he was reading text messages. I said, “Freddy, will you close the door?”

  “Why?”

  “Because if one of us has to get shocked, it should be you.”