Playing the Part

by Kimberly Van Meter

  Lilah wiped at her eyes and nose and nodded, her eyesight blurring from the tears. “Yeah, Pops. I need to talk to Grams.”

  Pops smiled as if glad she’d come to the same conclusion and then patted her hand. “Papaya?” he offered and she smiled.

  “Not today, Pops. I think I’ll go find Grams.”

  He nodded with approval. “Sounds good. When you see her, let her know Celly is making her special Caribbean-

  blend coconut pie. She’ll love it.”

  Lilah felt disconnected from her body, floating away with the slightest breeze. She didn’t even realize when she’d left Pops on the terrace. The next thing she knew, she was standing on the beach. Then, she was in the water.

  Her eyes fluttered shut and she slipped under the surface.

  I’m coming, Grams...I’m coming.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  LINDY WAS ON the beach, soaking up some sun and solace, when for no particular reason, her eyes snapped open and she was overcome with a sense of panic. Her heartbeat fluttered like a bee caught in a Venus flytrap and she sucked in big, gasping breaths trying to get a deep lungful of air. Her gaze went out across the water and she thought she saw Lilah but then she was gone in a sun flash.

  She scrambled to her feet, spraying fine sand all over her blanket, and she ran to the water’s edge. “Lilah!” she screamed, unable to quell the rising terror in her chest. She didn’t know why but something felt terribly wrong. “Lilah? Where are you?”

  She closed her eyes and pictured where she’d seen Lilah a second ago and then struck out in that direction. She swam in long, clean strokes to the area where she’d seen her and then dived under the water. The water, crystal clear and hiding nothing, revealed a flash of white sinking slowly to the bottom. This area was only about ten feet deep, but there were chasms that opened up farther out and the bottom dropped significantly. She kicked hard and started swimming as if her life depended on it. She grasped at Lilah’s trailing blond hair and used a chunk to pull her sister’s limp body to her. They broke the surface and Lindy rolled to her back with Lilah in front of her and swam for the beach. “Lilah, what did you do?” she gasped, crying as she stumbled to shore, dragging Lilah with her. “What did you do? You promised me you wouldn’t ever do this! You promised!”

  Lindy screamed until her voice turned hoarse, “Help! Lora! Pops! Heath! Help!” Then she dropped to her knees to give her twin mouth-to-mouth. She tilted her sister’s face and positioned her mouth over hers. With a prayer that her decade-old lifeguard training was still in her memory she began trying to blow life back into her sister.

  Lora ran out of the private area of the resort and skidded to a stop when she saw Lindy working on Lilah, her hand going to her mouth. “Oh, God...” she breathed.

  “Call an ambulance!” Lindy cried, stopping mouth-to-mouth to pump on Lilah’s chest. “Hurry!”

  Heath’s face blanched when he saw Lilah but he moved into action. “Lora, call 911 and keep Pops away. I’ll take over for Lindy. We need a steady rhythm for her heart. Go.”

  Lora stumbled in her haste to run and get the phone, but she recovered quickly and she was gone. Heath hustled over to Lindy and she reluctantly turned Lilah over to him. “I don’t know how long she was under the water,” she said, sobbing. “I just saw her and then she was gone and I don’t even know why I looked up at that moment. I almost didn’t catch her. I pulled her hair.... I think I ripped out a few strands but I couldn’t reach her bathing suit strap,” Lindy said, almost babbling as Heath ignored her to work on Lilah.

  “C’mon, kid,” he urged. “Breathe! C’mon, you can do it. Don’t you dare check out like this! Lilah Bell, don’t you dare!”

  “Why’d she do this?” Lindy asked, going into bewildered shock. “Why?”

  Heath ignored her and continued to work on Lilah but his actions were becoming desperate. Too much time had passed and Lilah remained still as the grave. “Don’t give up, Heath,” she begged, grabbing Lilah’s hand and squeezing tightly. “Please don’t stop. Please. Please.”

  “There’s no response, Lindy,” he said, gritting his teeth against his own tears.

  “I don’t care! Don’t stop. Keep trying. She’s in there somewhere. I can feel it!”

  Paramedics rushed in and Heath moved out of the way so they could do their jobs.

  Seconds later they were shocking her heart and Lindy flinched each time Lilah’s body spasmed from the electric shock. Tears streamed down Heath’s face as he watched. The third time the paddles went to her chest, the paramedics exclaimed, “We’ve got a pulse! It’s weak but it’s there. Let’s get her loaded up and to the hospital. Now!”

  “I’ll go with her,” she said, scrambling after the paramedics but Lora stopped her.

  “I should go. I have all the insurance information and I know her Social Security number,” Lora said, her face deathly pale from the fear they were all feeling. Lindy sobbed into her hands, unable to fathom what had just happened. Lora didn’t wait for Lindy’s agreement and simply followed the paramedics.

  Heath watched them go, slightly unsteady on his feet. “What happened?” he asked in a grief-stricken voice.

  “I don’t know,” she answered. “I...I know she’s been depressed but I didn’t think it was this bad. I mean, if I’d known...”

  “Don’t go there,” he admonished in a sharp tone, probably sharper than he intended for he immediately gentled his voice as he added, “You couldn’t have known she was feeling this way so don’t beat yourself up over this. Can you drive? I want to be there for Lora, too.”

  Lindy jerked a short nod and they trudged back to the resort to grab shoes and keys to the Jeep but not before Gabe intercepted them.

  * * *

  GABE WALKED OUTSIDE the bungalow to see paramedics carrying a wet figure on a gurney to the awaiting ambulance.

  He saw Heath talking with a plainly distraught Lindy and he quickly crossed to see if there was anything he could do. The moment she saw him, he could tell she was struggling to remain rooted to the spot but he could read in her eyes the fear and pain. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

  Heath’s mouth tightened, looking to Lindy for permission to share and at her imperceptible nod, he said, “Lilah had an...accident. We don’t have any details, just that Lindy managed to pull her from the water and give her mouth-to-mouth and CPR before medical aid could get here. They’re airlifting Lilah to St. Thomas right now. We were just about to get to the car ferry and meet them there.” Heath turned to Lindy and said, “Can you be ready in five minutes?”

  She nodded and Heath headed back to the resort, leaving Lindy behind. She looked at Gabe with a trembling lip and eyes that were red from crying and he simply gathered her into his arms to hold her tightly. “What really happened?” he asked in a low voice.

  “I think she tried to...tried to...kill herself,” Lindy sobbed against his chest, clutching at his magnolia rayon shirt and crushing it between her fingers. “I should’ve known. I should’ve seen it! I knew she’d been acting strangely, like, out of it, but Lilah’s always been a bit different, and I didn’t give it much thought. But I’m her twin, I should’ve sensed that she was hurting inside and done something about it!”

  He rocked her and remained silent. Lindy was hurting; nothing he could say would soothe the wild beast raging inside her. “Do you want me to go with you?” he asked.

  “What about Carys?” She pulled away to stare at him with red-rimmed eyes and a runny nose. “She’s too young to stay by herself.”

  “She could stay with Celly. The two seem to have hit it off lately,” he answered, checking his watch. “We’d better get moving if we’re going to catch the ferry.”

  Lindy nodded and appeared relieved that he’d taken control of the situation. She seemed lost and frantic, unsure of how to deal wit
h simple tasks, and he couldn’t blame her; he’d felt the same way when Charlotte had died. It’d been so bad that he’d momentarily forgotten how to fill out a check to pay a bill. He’d simply stared at the checkbook, his mind as blank as the paper, wondering how to properly fill it out to pay the water bill. The memory returned in an embarrassing flash but for a full minute, he’d been lost. His mind had simply shut down, unable to fathom his reality. That’s what was happening to Lindy. He could see it.

  “Thank you, Gabe,” she whispered, moving to cling to him again. Her fingers dug into his skin as if she were trying to meld into him and he simply bore the pain for her. Her shoulders had begun to shake and silent tears followed. “I’m afraid she’s gone. That we’ll get there and she’ll be gone.”

  “I’m here for you, Lindy,” he murmured, kissing her crown, wishing he could take away the pain. “You have to keep hope alive. And until we get there, we don’t know anything. Okay?” He lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes, hoping to give her strength when she had so little of her own. She slowly nodded and he bent down to brush a kiss across her lips. “Let’s go. Heath’s probably waiting.”

  He kissed her hand and then slowly let go so there wouldn’t be questions they weren’t ready to answer, but he wanted to hold her close and damn the questions. He needed to be there for her. He sensed she was near her breaking point. And he wasn’t about to let her fall.

  Not now, not ever.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  LINDY, HEATH AND GABE arrived at the St. Thomas Hospital emergency room an agonizing forty-five minutes later. They saw Lora in the waiting room, her eyes bone-dry but devoid of any color in her cheeks. Lindy’s knees threatened to buckle as fear weighed on her shoulders. “What’s the word?” She was almost too afraid to ask. “Is she...?”

  “The doctor hasn’t come out yet. I’m still waiting. Her heart wouldn’t stay beating. They had to shock her a few more times in the helicopter. When we got here, they told me to wait in here and they’d let me know.”

  “Oh God, I have to know what’s going on,” Lindy said, turning to Gabe. “They can’t just expect us to sit in here twiddling our thumbs. What are we supposed to do? I’ll go insane if I don’t find something out right now!”

  Her voice had taken on a hysterical note and Gabe placed both hands on her arms to calm her down. “I’ll find out something,” he assured her. “Try to relax.”

  She jerked a nod and went to sit by Lora. Lindy felt ready to jump out of her skin.

  Gabe went to the lobby receptionist and made a few inquiries. The woman shook her head in answer and he walked back to them. “No information yet, but it shouldn’t be much longer. The emergency room doctor treating her is known for always keeping the families in the loop. Lilah’s in good hands.”

  “I hate that saying,” Lindy said, grabbing a tissue to wipe her eyes. “I don’t know that she’s in good hands. I don’t know this doctor from anyone.” Lora put a hand on Lindy’s knee and gave it a subtle squeeze and tears sprang to Lindy’s eyes for her snappish tone with Gabe when he’d only been trying to help. “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I’m a mess and my mouth is getting away from me.”

  “No worries,” he said, sitting beside her.

  Lindy grabbed a magazine, not because she thought she’d find anything to distract her, but because she couldn’t sit still and flipping through the pages of a stupid magazine was at least doing something.

  Thankfully, they didn’t have to wait long. A dark-haired doctor entered the waiting room and spotting Lora, went straight to their group. “I’m Dr. Bajaran. I assume you’re all family of Ms. Bell’s?”

  “Yes,” Lora answered, and they all stood anxiously. “How is she?”

  “She’s in recovery,” he answered but his expression was grim. “She’s lucky to be alive. I’m not going to sugarcoat this—she was without oxygen for too long. She might’ve sustained permanent brain damage.”

  Lindy stuffed her knuckle in her mouth to keep from crying out, her eyes brimming with tears. “Brain damage? How soon will you know?”

  “We’re going to run some tests but she’s already exhibiting some signs of damage.”

  “Such as?” Heath asked.

  “She’s having difficulty coordinating the movements on her right side. We didn’t see any point of trauma so we assumed she didn’t hit her head on anything. Do any of you know what happened?”

  Lindy swallowed and looked fearfully at Gabe. She didn’t want to admit her fears that Lilah had done this to herself but she didn’t know if withholding that information could affect her treatment and recovery. “Well...I...uh...I think she may have been...confused...and...”

  “Our sister tried to kill herself,” Lora answered for Lindy when Lindy couldn’t get the words out. “She walked into the ocean and tried to drown herself. That’s all we know.”

  Dr. Bajaran nodded. “That confirms our suspicion.” He sighed. “Well, as with all cases of attempted suicide we have to follow a specific protocol and an officer is here to take her statement. You can see your sister soon if she’s up to visitors.”

  Lindy looked to Lora, alarmed. “What does he mean, an officer? That’s the last thing Lilah needs right now. That will freak her out big-time,” she protested, but Gabe pulled her aside before she could start railing at the doctor. Angry, she stared at Gabe, uncomprehending. “What the hell is this shit? My sister is lying there trying to recover from almost dying and they want to take her statement like she’s some kind of criminal?”

  “Lindy, be reasonable. Whether you agree or not, suicide is against the law. And when there’s a suicide attempt most places have a mandatory seventy-two-hour hold on the person to make sure they’re not a danger to themselves or others. It’s not like Lilah is going to spend a night in jail or anything, but she needs help, Lindy. You have to realize that, right?”

  Lindy stared at Gabe, hating that he was right. But it cut her to pieces to know that her sister would be put under a microscope for one misguided action that she likely regretted this very moment. “I need to talk to her,” she said stiffly, ignoring the tears rolling down her cheeks. “I need to see Lilah, right now.”

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?” Gabe asked.

  “I want to see my sister,” she repeated, moving past Gabe to where the doctor was still quietly speaking with Lora and Heath. He looked up when Lindy approached. “I want to see her.”

  “Maybe we should wait until after the officer talks to her,” Lora suggested, but Lindy adamantly disagreed.

  “She’s not going through that alone,” Lindy said hotly. “I want to be there with her when she gives her statement. You don’t understand—she’s very fragile right now and I want to make sure she knows she’s not alone. Not anymore.”

  Lora seemed to know that Lindy wouldn’t back down. There must’ve been a wildness in her eyes that warned everyone to back off because the protests died down and Dr. Bajaran nodded with a promise to return momentarily after he’d spoken with Lilah.

  Five minutes later, Dr. Bajaran shocked everyone when he said, “I’m sorry but your sister...well, she doesn’t want any visitors right now. Maybe you can come back tomorrow. She’s probably just overwhelmed with everything that has happened. It’s not uncommon for near-death experiences.”

  Lilah didn’t want to see her? Lindy swallowed the lump of grief in her throat. “Even me?” she risked asking. “I’m her twin.”

  Dr. Bajaran looked uncomfortable as he answered, “She said especially you. I’m sorry.”

  Lindy stared at the doctor as he made a hasty exit after dropping his bomb, and her knees buckled. Gabe caught her just before she sank to the floor.

  “We’ll come back tomorrow,” he murmured, helping her up. “She just needs a little time. It’s going to be okay. She’s safe here. Let’s go.” He
looked to Lora and Heath, who seemed to agree as they gathered their stuff.

  “We’ll come back tomorrow,” Lora promised. “Like Gabe said, she’s safe and that’s what matters for tonight. We’ll sort everything out later.”

  Lindy nodded numbly, still reeling from the unbelievable pain of her sister’s rejection.

  What had she done?

  The mystery was as painful as the reality that Lilah had tried to kill herself.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  IT WAS A silent ride home, first on the ferry and then in the car. Lindy sat quietly crying, the tears seeming unending, while Heath and Lora simply held each other’s hands as they looked out their separate car windows.

  Back at Larimar, Heath and Lora branched off while Gabe and Lindy went to relieve Celly from watching Carys. The minute Carys saw Lindy she asked what was wrong.

  “Celly said something happened to Lilah,” Carys said in a small voice. “What happened?”

  “She had an accident,” Gabe answered gravely. “She’s in the hospital in St. Thomas. But she’s going to be okay—that’s what’s important.”

  Carys looked to Lindy, who remained silent. “Then why is Lindy so sad?”

  Lindy closed her eyes and said, “Because Lilah scared me.... I’m just really worried about her.”

  “Is this because of her art?” Carys asked, concerned. Gabe frowned with open confusion and Carys admitted, “She said that she’s not good at anything, not even her art, but I told her she was wrong and that she was amazing with her paintings but she wouldn’t believe me. I mean, sometimes the art was kinda scary, like when you looked at it, it made me feel all sad inside but it was still really pretty.”

  Lindy stared at Carys, trying to understand what art she was talking about. She’d seen Lilah’s art and she couldn’t remember anything that looked like that. She wiped at her face and then came to Carys and bent down to her level. “Do you know where Lilah kept her paintings?” she asked.