Sun Kissed (Camp Boyfriend)

by Joanne Rock

  “Listen.” Seth lowered his sunglasses and peered over the top. “There’s this brook a little ways in the woods called Kammach Springs. I promised my cabin I’d hike back down with them, but I really want to show it to you. Can you get away from the girls and meet me? There’s a marker, and it’s not far off the trail. I want to tell you something and it’s the perfect spot.”

  His expression was tender, his voice so intense that it struck a chord that vibrated to my fingertips. Whatever he had to say was important to him … I definitely wouldn’t miss it. I nodded, loving the way his face relaxed at my response. Had he imagined, even for a second, that I’d say no?

  We ambled across the stony field peppered with feather-topped grasses that tickled our calves. A colorful array of blankets, backpacks, and campers were strewn across the treeless spot, the Smoky Mountain range a dramatic backdrop behind them. Bam-Bam had told us on a previous hike that fires had swept through the Pisgah National Forest years ago and places like this had never recovered. It was a sad story, but I appreciated the panoramic view the bald spot provided.

  Shining Rock loomed straight ahead in multiple shades of green, and to its left was Cold Mountain, as dark and formidable-looking as its name. Birds of prey looped in lazy circles high above the swaying conifers, their colorful plumage a bright contrast against the azure sky. Seth’s hand wrapped around mine for a second and my chest expanded with more than air. I’d made this climb before, but the sight was even more beautiful now that I shared it with Seth.

  My heart had never felt so full—not even on nights spent identifying stars with my father or charting comet paths. This moment was magic. And that magic was Seth.

  “It’s beautiful,” I breathed.

  “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Seth murmured. The strange note in his voice made me glance his way and I met his steady gaze. His amber eyes looked darker, the expression in them so vulnerable I nearly melted on the spot. I’d seen lots of expressions on his face over the years, but this was the first time I’d ever seen him look hopeful. And I was the one who’d given him a reason to feel that way. To believe in someone again. To trust his heart.

  It felt good, but … scary. It made me think relationships were more than hearts and roses but also … responsibility. Trust. When someone gave you their heart it came with a “Handle with Care” warning. And I’d promised that I’d never cause Seth pain. His mother had hurt him enough.

  “You two lovebirds want some brownies?” Jackie waved a couple of wrapped chocolate squares and my stomach grumbled. I was hungry after hiking for a couple hours.

  Seth nodded and caught the treats she winged at us as we closed the distance to my friends.

  “Thanks.” I sat on a plaid blanket and pulled out my water bottle. No way was I eating chocolate without liquid to rinse out of my mouth gear. The rich flavor exploded on my tongue and I finished the brownie in four bites. “Any more?”

  “You can have mine.” Seth lowered himself beside me and pulled out a bag of trail mix. “I’ve still got plenty of gorp.”

  I admired the way the sun turned the fine hairs on his arms to gold and the play of his muscles beneath his tanned skin. If only they were wrapped around me now. But no way could that happen with the counselors watching.

  “So how many times did you two kiss?” Jackie tossed a grape in the air and caught it in her mouth.

  Siobhan pushed up her slipping glasses and leaned forward. “There’s a running bet and the winner doesn’t have to carry his or her gear on the way down.”

  “His or her?” I looked up and started at the sight of the Wander Inn guys crowding around us.

  “Yeah. My money’s on seven.” Vijay gave Seth a light shoulder punch. “Seth is the Man.”

  Anger surged through me. So now I was just some object to be betted on like a horse? My eyes narrowed and I pulled away from Seth, my back rigid.

  Julian spread a forest-green cape on the grass, the light glinting off an ornate silver clasp. “For the record, I didn’t vote.”

  Seth frowned at the guys until they stopped smiling and looked away. A few even muttered, “Sorry.”

  Trinity sat, cross-legged, across from us, her open palms on her knees, eyes closed. But in the sudden quiet her lids fluttered then opened. “What’s going on?”

  Alex’s mouth quirked sideways and she spoke in a newscaster voice. “In today’s headlines: Seth and Lauren made out. In related news: they kissed.”

  Trinity rolled her eyes then closed them again. “Wake me when something different happens. Oh—and they kissed four times.”

  Seth and I broke into sheepish grins and the group groaned at our silent but obvious agreement.

  “Never bet against a girl with a third eye.” Julian pointed his walking stick at Vijay. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  I ate Seth’s brownie and eyed my friends as they divided Trinity’s belongings. While they were definitely happy for me, I’d started to sense their slight frustration too. Was I getting too wrapped up in Seth? Neglecting them? We had been sitting together at all the nighttime activities, and signed up for some of the same daytime ones too. In between, we’d met up and walked together. But I still ate with my cabin, and talked to them after “lights out”… though mostly I talked about Seth. Were they over it? I glanced at Seth. Us?

  Gollum huffed into the clearing, his hands gripping Madison—the oldest Diva and the girl Seth and I saw kissing another boy at the dance—and Devon’s collars. He beckoned to their counselors, Rob and Victoria, to join them. Silence descended as everyone strained to eavesdrop. Eventually we caught enough words to put two and two together until it equaled scandal. Heads came together and rumors flew faster than the gnats swarming the field.

  “He totally caught them kissing.” Alex’s eyes sparkled. “Guess our money should have been on them, too.”

  I threw a raisin at her. “Doesn’t she have a boyfriend back home?”

  Trinity spoke without opening her eyes. “His name’s Lex and he plays in a band. A drummer, I think.”

  “So, what—you really are a psychic?” Alex chucked the raisin and missed. It sailed over a precipice several yards away and disappeared. Although the ledge wasn’t a cliff, it was vertical enough for us to take care. I shuddered; glad it was the raisin and not one of us falling over it.

  Trinity snorted. “No. Seth and Lauren was a hunch. But Madison and I live in Raleigh. I saw her with Lex at a music festival. He’s older—like, out of high school.”

  “Wooooaaaaahhhh,” we murmured, staring at a sobbing Madison and a defiant Devon being scolded by three determined adults. Thank God I hadn’t let Devon tempt me. What a player. And Madison wasn’t any better, though, to be fair, Seth and I had probably kissed just as much as those two. We’d fooled around on the hike and could have been caught. Gotten in the same amount of trouble. I glanced at Seth and raised my eyebrows, but he shook his head, understanding what I was thinking as he so often did.

  “We’re not like them, Lauren.” His breath was soft and warm against my ear. “We’re together for real. They’re just a random hook-up.”

  His eyes turned bleak as they darted to Madison and back to me. “Messing with guys is just a game to her.”

  Was he thinking of his mother? How she’d betrayed him and his father?

  No matter how much water I gulped, I couldn’t wash away the bitter taste of guilt. I had been dared to kiss a guy in a game then betrayed him by not telling the full truth, and it was the one person who trusted me the most. My BCF—best camp friend ...

  Seth.

  I had to tell him, but not here, not with everyone around. Plus, I needed advice. I chattered along with the rest of the group, but my mind raced down a different path. Would Seth understand? Think it was funny instead of deceitful? He usually understood me better than anyone. I just hoped this was one of those times.

  And I sure wished I could read the minds of my friends, know their thoughts. They cast anxiou
s looks my way while lunch wound down. What was up with that?

  Finally, Jake—the star athlete of the Warriors’ Warden—tossed a football at one of the Wander Inn kids, Garrett, and challenged them to a game. After a quick kiss, Seth jogged away, hollering instructions to his teammates as they took their positions.

  “Girls,” I hissed once we were alone. “I’ve got to tell Seth that first kiss happened on a dare. If he finds out from someone else, he’ll think I’m just like Madison.”

  “The dare was just a game,” Alex pointed out.

  Exactly what Seth would not want to hear. I pulled my jittering knees to my chest.

  “I’d keep it to yourself. You’ll only hurt his feelings.” Piper plucked a yellow buttercup and added it to her wildflower bouquet.

  Jackie lay on her back and stared up at the sky, an ankle resting against her other leg’s knee. “Didn’t you tell us that he kissed you first? Technically that’s not a foul.”

  Alex rummaged in my backpack. “Where are your fruit rollups?” She pulled out a package. “And my vote is no. Now that you’ve finally got Seth, you definitely don’t want to lose him.”

  Trinity flipped onto her stomach and reached for her water bottle. “Honesty is critical to every healthy relationship. The truth always comes out. Karma has a way of making that happen.”

  Dread detonated in my stomach and spread its jagged shrapnel to my heart. Seth would be angry at me, or disappointed … which might be worse. But how could I not tell him? His mother had lied to him. And I had too. He deserved better.

  “Logically you should avoid him knowing at all costs,” Siobhan said in her matter-of-fact voice. She pulled on a safari-style hat and stuffed her long hair under it. “Someday I’m going to cut all of this off.”

  I covered my eyes. “I know, but if I don’t tell him I was dared to kiss him he’ll think I’m a player. He’ll never trust me.”

  “Oh really?” A mocking voice drawled behind us. My hands dropped and my mouth parted as I wheeled around.

  Hannah.

  Her red hair blew around her face like flames, her eyes wide and sparkling with mischief, bordering on malice. “Maybe I should just ask him myself.”

  My heart sank. My girlfriends gasped. Hannah had hated us from our middler years when we’d won the coin toss and picked the cabin she’d wanted, the one nearest the showers and mess hall. If that wasn’t enough, Alex had also dated a guy Hannah liked that summer and the Munchies beat the Divas at color wars. She and her friends had been pranking us ever since. My mom said that Hannah was insecure and to ignore her. But I didn’t want to feel sorry for Hannah, a girl who seemed to have it all. Instead I believed my dad, who said miserable people tended to do miserable things. And now Hannah had a legitimate reason to make my life hell.

  Smiling wickedly, Hannah flounced toward Seth. I scrambled after her and tugged at her shirt. But her sharp elbow connected with my ribcage.

  “Get off,” she snapped, shoving at me.

  I lost my footing. Sliding over a steep side, I stopped my fall by grabbing handful of grass, then hollered for help. My legs kicked out, encountering only air. Oh. God.

  My friends’ concerned faces appeared at the top of the precipice and Jackie and Piper held out their hands.

  “Grab on, Lauren,” they urged. Alex and Siobhan grabbed them around the waist, acting as anchors. “We’ll pull you up.”

  “Okay.” My heart hurt more than my aching arms. “But is Trinity going to stop Hannah?” She was the only one of my friends I didn’t see. I needed her to

  “I’m sending you my positive vibes.” Trinity peeked over Alex’s shoulder. “Much more important.”

  Oh God. There was no one to shut Hannah up.

  “No. It isn’t.” I closed my eyes and let my friends drag me up and over the lip of the ravine. My head spun and my legs burned where I’d skinned them. I lunged in the direction of Seth and his friends, but Hannah was already there.

  Her hand cupped around his ear as she spilled my secret. Seth frowned, the light in his eyes dimming like a cloud passing over the sun.

  I shook off Susannah, who asked me if I was okay after the fall. I met Seth’s accusatory stare and tears stung the back of my eyes. He’d never feel the same way about me. Not even as a friend. I’d broken his trust and there was no coming back from that.

  How would things ever be okay again?

  ***

  “Is it true?” Seth asked a few minutes later when I’d returned to our lunch spot. He squinted down at me, then at my friends who’d crowded around for support. Alex had her hand in mine and Siobhan slung an arm around my waist. “Was the kiss part of a dare?”

  I nodded, my lip trembling. “But I can explain.” I pleaded, hating the way my voice cracked, sounding guilty.

  Seth stepped back, his face crumpling like I’d punched him. “Explain what? That you purposely didn’t tell me the truth? That you let me think you wanted to kiss me that whole time? No. I don’t need to hear anything else.” He scrubbed a hand over his face, turned on his heel, and walked away.

  I wanted to chase him. Make him listen. But the tone of his voice was so … final. I knew honesty was very important to Seth, and this wouldn’t be just some silly misunderstanding to him. Being raised without a mother had made him grow up fast. It was why he acted more mature than most boys his age. He’d been serious about us and I’d let him think it was just a game to me. My heart cracked wide open and the tears started falling.

  My cabin mates hugged me as I cried, their backs shielding me from Hannah and her smirking friends. Could it really be over? I cared about that far more than I cared about Hannah’s stupid gossiping. It was my fault for giving her something to use against me.

  The rest of the hike passed in a watery blur. My feet tripped and slid their way to the top of Tennent Mountain, a friend’s arm slipping around my waist to encourage me not to give up whenever I stopped. And boy did I want to quit.

  I hadn’t just lost a boyfriend. I’d lost one of my best friends. The person who understood my love of science, Star Wars, and comic book superheroes, who laughed at my lame jokes and thought I looked good in braces, glasses, and frizzy hair. He liked who I was on the inside and out. Thought I was beautiful—no matter what.

  Until now.

  Not even poison oak had made me feel this ugly.

  My knees ached as I took another jarring leap down the trail as we returned to camp. Why hadn’t I told him earlier? Maybe if I’d filled him in on the dare before the kiss we would have laughed and kissed anyway. But now, I’d never know.

  I ignored the pitying looks and muffled laughs of the other campers as they passed our group. In fact, since Seth’s cabin led the way and had left us behind an hour ago, I’d barely noticed anything.

  “Kammach Springs,” murmured Trinity beside me. My head snapped up. A crooked marker nailed to a balsam pointed to a small, overgrown trail. Despite the misery encasing my heart, hope made it flutter. Could Seth have relented? Be waiting there for me after all?

  There was one way to find out.

  I stopped the girls. “You guys go ahead. Seth said he might meet me there before… before …” My voice gave out and I took the tissue Siobhan handed me.

  “We’re not leaving you. Plus, if Susannah catches you coming out of there alone, you’ll be in major trouble.” Alex glanced up the trail. Although our counselor and Rob had been doing their share of covert PDA and fallen behind, they might appear at any minute. Gollum had left early to take Devon and Madison back to camp.

  My bunkmates nodded in solidarity and the pain banding my chest eased. No matter what happened with Seth, I still had my friends. Sistas before mistas, as we always said.

  “Do you want us to come with?” Jackie peered down the narrow trail, her brow furrowed.

  I shook my head and brushed away my flowing tears. “No. I’ve got to do this on my own, but thanks for waiting. Knowing you’ll be here helps a lot.”

  “Go
od luck,” Piper called, as I ducked under a branch and wandered down what amounted to a groove of trampled grass for a path. The drone of insects was thicker here, the birds louder as they shrieked alerts to one another with every step I took. Withered rhododendron petals littered the path, flashes of purple mingling with the shriveled brown. Were Seth and I like that? Blooming bright and colorful for only a few weeks?

  The answer came suddenly. I rounded a bend and spied a burbling brook—Kammach Springs—but no Seth. My heart felt like it had sunk beneath the crystalline water. He’d decided not to meet me after all. He wouldn’t give me a chance to explain.

  I plopped down on a rocky outcropping, took off my shoes and socks, and rolled up my pants. My feet dipped into the icy water, needing to feel something, anything but this emptiness. And as the water bubbled from some unknowable place inside the earth, I wondered.

  Seth and I went way back and our feelings ran deep. One rumor couldn’t just erase our whole friendship or the feelings we shared, could it? Those feelings had been building for years. They were unstoppable.

  With any luck, emotions were like energy—they couldn’t be created or destroyed. I didn’t know what form our relationship would take now that Hannah had added her poison to the mix. But I knew that there would be some kind of a relationship, as enduring as this spring of water. As old as time, it had sprung from the earth, eroding a path that led to the oceans, giving life to the plants and animals that had lived here for centuries.

  I yanked on my foot gear and raced back down the path, my mind formulating a plan to bring us back together. Seth had wanted to say something special to me here. Now I understood why he’d chosen this spot. It felt as eternal as us. I had to remind him—make him believe as I did—that we were meant to be.

  Chapter Seven

  A week later, I wasn’t so sure.

  Seth had avoided me at all costs, giving me no opportunity to convince him of anything about our relationship. Today, when our age group was going on a white water rafting trip—overnight—I worried about how awkward it would be to be around him when he so obviously wanted nothing to do with me.