Pursue (Portland Street Kings Book 4)
Page 13
“Saved?” my father says on a breath. “What nonsense are you talking about, Ivy? He wasn’t saved, he was let go. That was the plan. Parks brought in the bikers to scare him and to explain we know his dirty secret, and if he didn’t stay away from you, the bikers would pay him another visit and the next one wouldn’t be so pretty.”
My mouth opens and closes. No words escape because I have no idea what to say. That my father thinks what he did was okay on any level is terrifying. This man raised me!
“You’re a fool,” I whisper. “Parks ordered the bikers to kill him. In return, Parks promised them something to do with the Marion County Sheriff’s Office.”
My father’s forehead wrinkles and his eyes bounce from me to the ramp, and then to the water. It’s clear a story is unfolding in his head. “Jesus Christ,” he curses under his breath.
“So your lapdog has now taken matters into his own hands. God knows why, but I don’t give a shit. You are sick, you both are. Mom would hate you, she’d never look at you again. She’d put you in jail herself.” I spit the words at him, hoping they hurt, hoping they sear his soul forever.
With a shaky breath, he says, “He was never meant to get hurt. Parks has gone too far. He’s always had a crush on you, but this…. He knew I’d never condone murder.”
“Never condone murder.” I repeat the words, attempting to make sense of my father’s insanity. “Do you even hear yourself?” I scream, raising my hands and the gun in the air. “Forget I love him. Forget who you think he is. You sent bikers after a human being who had been raped as a child, and attempted to scare him with it again. To destroy a human being. To break any strength he had left. If he was assaulted again, Kelso would have welcomed death. You are as blind as you are evil. I’m not sure which one is more deadly.”
My father places a hand against his breastbone. “I stand by my actions. I’ve only ever tried to protect you, Ivy. One day a man of a higher caliber will come along and make you very happy. Until then it’s my job to make sure you stay on the right track.”
My arms fall slack to my sides and I stand numb before a man who does not resemble my father, the kind man who used to let me ride his shoulders in the backyard as we stormed castles and fought battles so that I, the princess, could become a queen.
“I am twenty-five years old. The days of you controlling me are gone. All I ever needed and craved from you was your love and support, in whatever path I chose in life.” Lifting my hands and fisting the gun, I grit my teeth. “Why is it so hard for you to grasp?”
My father scoffs and looks away.
“Who are you?” I ask as tears cascade down my face. “Where did my daddy go?” Not able to keep it in any longer, a cry escapes through my lips. “Mom would loathe who you’ve become.”
I throw the gun at my father’s feet. “You may as well shoot me, because I’m already dead on the inside.”
My father’s eyes widen and he grows pale. Remorse flickers through his eyes, but it’s gone in an instant, as if he won’t even allow himself to accept his actions.
“I had a man who taught me how to love fiercely. Who brought laughter and happiness back into my life after mom passed away. He cherished me. Comforted me. Supported me. And I lost him because I trusted you, my father.” My words are thick and my voice hoarse.
My father swallows hard, and he wets his lips as his body tenses. “I overstepped. I went too far. Surely you can forgive me. I’ll try harder and attempt to understand what you want out of life.”
A laugh bubbles up and escapes my lips; not a happy one, an unbelieving how-stupid-do-you-think-I-am laugh.
“I don’t know if you’re capable of telling the truth anymore. But no, I’m done. I can forgive your harsh words, but I will never forgive your vile actions.”
One last long stare at the man I thought would always be there for me. Who would one day walk me down the aisle. Who would one day storm castles with his grandchildren.
“Whatever your future holds, no one will ever say you didn’t deserve it. Today I say goodbye to my father.” A cry escapes. “Thank you for the wonderful memories I have of our family. But you, the man standing before me, you can rot in hell.”
Tearing myself away, I turn and walk away. Holding back a storm of tears and clinging to every ounce of strength I have, I don’t look back.
“Ivy!”
“Ivy!”
“Ivy!” With each shout, my father’s voice becomes thicker and more hoarse, until I can barely hear him anymore.
Digging my nails into my palms, I continue walking out of my father’s life, acknowledging that even though it hurts, my life will be better without him.
Reaching my car, I throw open the door. Something moves in the corner of my eye, and I look quickly.
Mackson King sits lazily on the hood of his car, hands in his pockets and lips pressed together. His expression is soft, almost as if he’s apologizing from a distance. Sorry for what? Watching that pathetic scene between a supposed father and daughter, or for what his family will do to my dad?
Walking away from my father is one thing, knowing he probably won’t live through the night is a whole other torment. Nevertheless, I fold into my car and start the engine.
My mind is telling me to drive, but my body freezes. The first movement to leave seems impossible, as if a great weight has hit my legs and they won’t move. Still, I persevere and back the car up. I put it in Drive, and again I freeze. Inhaling and exhaling, I press my foot down and drive away, silent tears cascading down my cheeks. I feel as if I’m shedding a layer of skin. Disposing of the innocent girl and now viewing the world for what it really is, harsh and painful.
A few minutes later I spot a familiar yellow Dodge up ahead. Kelso. We each slow to pass, as the road is narrow. Kelso’s intense gaze meets mine, and when it does the fire in his eyes disappears, and a frown forms on his handsome face. With everything I have, I attempt to show my remorse, from the depths of my heart and out through my glassy eyes. For what my father has done to him, and for what Kelso will do tonight. Whether he wants to realize it or not, this will take a part of his soul that he’ll never get back.
After we’ve passed each other and all I see in my rearview mirror is dust, I tighten my hold on the steering wheel. I decide to let go of my past and forge a new path for myself, one I know my mom will be proud of. It's time to leave Louisville and all the heartbreak it holds.
16
My Downfall
Kelso
The moment Ivy drove past me with swollen eyes and regret shining through, I locked down all my emotions. Don’t feel. It’s how I got in this position. Block out her face.
Pulling up to the wooden cabin and jumping out, I catch Mack striding over to me with purpose in his eyes. “What happened?” I ask, using all my strength not to shout at my brother to stop staring at me with sorrow in his eyes. I don’t want his pity or anyone else’s.
“When I got here, they were already talking, but from what I could tell, Ivy was furious. She even had a gun in her hand.” My head draws back quickly as uncomfortable tingles race across my skin. “I caught the last bit where she told him to ‘rot in hell’ and then she left.” Mack pauses, but I know by the frown on his face he isn’t done. “She looked destroyed.”
A lump forms in my throat and my mouth goes dry. “Good, now she knows how I feel.”
My brother's eyes soften. He isn’t finished, but I don’t allow him a moment to continue. “I hate her so damn much right now that you need to be careful what you say on her behalf.”
Mack places his left hand on my right shoulder. “It’s not Ivy I’m worried about, brother. Own the pain, wield the anger, but don’t let them consume you.”
Shaking my brother’s hand off, I ignore his words and walk around the car to Slater and Pacer. “I’m going in alone.” Slater and Pacer turn to me, each with confusion marring their expressions. “Piper was right, this is a mistake. It won’t end well, but I can’t let it go.”
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Slater’s throat bobs. He’s torn. I imagine it’s the first time he’s doubted our way of life.
Baseball bat in one hand and my car keys in the other, I wait by the front door for Slater and Pacer to grab their stuff. Mack called to let me know Ivy’s driving west. I know where she’s going. Ivy once talked about a holiday cabin her parents own in Somerset. It’s the perfect place for her bastard of a father to be hiding out.
Growing impatient, I step away from the door to find my brothers. I don’t have to go far, they’re in the living room. Slater, Pacer, and Della on one side of the room, while Piper, Dom, and Lana stand on the other side.
Slater is talking quietly, but I can still hear everything he says. “We can’t walk away from something like this. Power needs to be met with power. Ruthlessness needs to be met with death, or we’re sitting ducks, seen as feeble and fragile.”
“Actually, you can, you can be smarter,” Piper states in a strained voice, trying hard to control her emotions so she can speak clearly. “I listen, I understand. I would never judge you or anyone else in this family.” Piper’s eyes meet mine for a moment before returning to Slater. “But when something needs to be said, I’ll say it. This is a mistake. Y-y-you,” she stutters and points at Slater, “are making a mistake by going through with this. He’s a sheriff and the father of a woman whom I've grown fond of. Who your youngest brother woke up this morning loving very much.”
I step further into the room, my heart hitting my stomach, and I look up at Piper and love how she views the world. But without the memories, without the lessons we learned on the streets, she can’t comprehend the overwhelming sensation of being helpless.
“I’m hearing you,” Slater replies, and it’s all he says. We all stand there silently as Slater and Piper eye each other, having a silent conversation with their stares. After a few moments, Piper sighs and shakes her head.
She turns and walks to me with a defeated expression. “Don’t mistake me, Kel, if I had the opportunity, I-I-I-I’d skin alive anyone who hurt you, who hurt the people I love. But I fear this time, it will be this family’s undoing.”
Piper walks out of the room. Slater follows. They don’t go far, only into the hall. Slater hugs her, and Piper wraps her arms around my brother’s middle. They whisper to each other. There’s no love lost, no anger or resentment, only comfort and support for one another. Everything I had with Ivy, everything that was ripped away from me.
“Piper cares about our futures,” Slater states. “And I love my woman more than the stars adore the dark, but until she regains her memories, she’ll never understand why we cannot tolerate barbarity against our family. Why the black tentacles of cruel men must be cut off before they can take a tighter hold.”
“I agree with Slater,” Pacer interjects. “This is how we’ve always survived; however, there will be consequences, there’s always a cost.”
“Survived,” Mack mutters, staring toward the cabin. He rubs a hand against his chest and looks at me. “I’m with you, brother, always, through to hell and back. Nevertheless, I want it said, I agree with Piper. After everything we’ve overcome, do you want this man, this asshole to be our downfall?”
“Mackson,” Slater growls.
Mack spins on Slater, gritting his teeth. “No, Slate, at some point you have to say enough is enough. Your constant need for us to feel safe and powerful is keeping your family in a cycle I want out of. You have a dream, a plan for us all that I have gotten behind, and now you’ve shown it to me I’m desperate for it. I want that life.”
The anger in Slater’s face dies quickly.
Pacer stands between my brothers, pushing them back a step from each other. “What fucking plan? I know of a plan to win death race and become millionaires, as well as have our name linked to one of the most dangerous races in history. Anyone will think twice before messing with us again. But something tells me this has nothing to do with it?”
“It's time to tell them,” Mack declares.
Pacer crosses his arms against his chest. “Okay, now I’m getting fucking pissed off.”
“And I’ve grown impatient,” I announce. “Whatever plan you guys have cooking, I’ll hear about it later. What I’m going to do isn’t about my future or my past, it’s about today, my present. I was tied up, stripped, and touched. I want blood on my hands, and nothing anyone says will change that. I want Parks found and I want both men dead before the clock strikes midnight. It’s that simple, and I agree with you, Mack. I don’t want this fucker to be our downfall. Only mine, if it comes to it.”
Mackson’s right. I understand where he’s coming from. Had this been yesterday, I would never have risked my relationship with Ivy or my freedom. I had someone to live for. Today, all I crave is revenge. I only care about the hours ahead of me.
Slater shakes his head, preparing to tell me he’s coming with me no matter what. He’s unable to let me go into a situation he can’t control. Anyone else might fly off the handle at his obsessive need to take care of us all, but it’s how Slater gets through each day. I’ll never begrudge my brother any sliver of peace he can find, except this time, if Slater won’t think about his future with the little family he’s now growing, then I’ll do it for him.
“I’ll say it for the last time, I’m going in alone. I’m my own man and I can look after myself. If I’m forced to take even one of you with me, I’ll give up now and walk away, let it eat me alive from the inside out.”
Mack’s shoulders slump. “If I can’t talk you out of it, then know, no matter what comes of this, we’ll get through it together as a family.” Mack steps away, but then suddenly turns back around to me. “If he’s not on the boat ramp, where he’s been since I arrived, then the back porch entrance should be your easiest way in.”
Slapping right hands and shoulder bumping, I thank Mackson as he turns and walks over to his car.
“I’m pissed about so much right now,” Pacer says, “But if this is what you want, Kel, promise me you’ll make the motherfucker scream.”
“You know it.” A dark chuckle escapes me, and I fist bump Pace.
Turning to my big brother, I wait for Slater’s inevitable final words. “We’ll wait up here, but if I hear a gunshot or you take too long, I’m coming down. I don’t give a fuck how badly you want to do this on your own, Kel. We all go home alive tonight.” Slater’s voice is thick and his expression hard.
Striding toward the boat ramp, I don’t nod or reply to my brother. I make no promises tonight, because honestly, living through today isn’t high on my priority list.
17
You Have Her Eyes
Kelso
Striding around the cabin with my bat in hand, I listen for any movement on the back porch. I hear a fire crackling, and trees creaking in the wind. Such serenity for a man who doesn’t deserve it.
Stepping onto the wooden deck, I come face-to-face with Sheriff Johnson. My lip curls up into a sneer and adrenaline races through my body. My fingers twitch around the handle of the bat.
“Well, the Kings are more resourceful than I gave you credit for. I thought it would take you longer to find me.” Eric Johnson shows no fear, no invitational smirk, only an emotionless expression.
“Cowards like you never stay hidden for long,” I say, my voice tight with rage.
Eric Johnson chuckles. “You must have passed my daughter on your way up? That’s sloppy of you, allowing her to see you coming for her father.”
“Is it fear seeping into your voice?” I ask when I hear the break in his tone. Cracking my neck from side to side, I continue, “Bringing up Ivy won’t save you. You accomplished your plan to tear us apart. To break your daughter. You won’t live long enough to enjoy the show though.” My voice is raw and brutal even to my own ears.
The sheriff laughs again, and this time I snap and give a mighty cry as I lift the bat high into the air. I charge for him and his eyes widen. Deep down, he didn’t think I was capable of murder. How wrong
he was. Swinging the bat with all my strength, I strike him across the shoulder. Eric grunts in pain and staggers backward, wincing.
I don’t allow him to recover. I pull back the wooden bat and swing again with all my strength; this time the blow lands on the sheriff’s back. He doesn’t make a sound as he falls forward onto his knees, his head bouncing around like a flimsy doll’s.
Dropping the bat, I grasp the front of his polo shirt and turn the bastard to face me. His rasping breaths and trembling body don’t deter me from balling my right hand and slamming my knuckles into his left cheek. His head snaps right. I crash down my fist a second time, and his head snaps again.
Third.
Fourth. Blood sprays across my jaw, but I don’t stop.
Fifth.
As I’m about to make the sixth blow, his head turns to me suddenly, and he gurgles something indistinguishable. But it’s not the words that catch my attention, it’s his eyes. A familiar pair of green eyes stare at me, terror bursting forth from them. I attempt to inhale, but the air becomes caught in my throat.
Squeezing my eyes closed, I shake my head. Don’t think about her, not now.
Opening my eyes, I’m met with the same emerald orbs. A flash of a memory thunders through my mind: Ivy sitting over me, naked, her thick red hair hanging down both sides of her face as she smiles lazily at me. “I love you, Kelso,” she breathes in a tone that shatters and puts my heart back together in the same heartbeat.
I gasp for breath and let go of Eric. I stumble away, my back hitting the porch chairs. My heart beats erratically.