My Destiny

by J. L. Perry

  “Just a little something to knock you out long enough for me to get you here without all the kicking and screaming,” he replied with a smug grin. He made his way over to the bed and sat down beside me. “I have missed you, sweetheart,” he said, stroking his hand down my face.

  “Please don’t, Jake,” I pleaded as I tried to move away from him. “Why are you doing this to me? It doesn’t have to be like this.” He didn’t say anything at first, but I could see the sadness in his eyes.

  “What has happened to you, Jake?” I said sadly. “Why are you doing this to yourself? You are a good person and I know this isn’t the real you. It’s the drugs that have changed you.”

  He looked at me, shocked. “How do you know about the drugs?”

  “Logan mentioned that he had found some in your office. The police also told me about the drugs they found on you a few months later. Let me help you,” I pleaded. “If you get off the drugs, you can get your old life back.”

  “If I get off the drugs, will you come back to me, Brooke?” he asked. “We can put this all behind us. I know we can be happy again, just like we used to be.” Jake looked so sad and desperate but, as much as I felt for him, there was no going back.

  “I can’t, Jake. What we had is over,” I said. “I will always care for you, but I am not in love with you anymore.”

  “That’s right,” he snarled. “I forgot you are fucking Cavanagh now, aren’t you, bitch?”

  “Please, Jake. It is not like that,” I pleaded as the panic started to set in again. I knew that it didn’t take much to set him off.

  “You two have ruined me!” he screamed. “I am going to make you both pay for what you have done!” He stood up and punched the wall, his fist going straight through it. I flinched because it scared me when he was angry like this.

  “Jake, we did nothing bad to you. Everything that has happened is all your doing.”

  He seemed to calm down again, and sat back down beside me. He started to stroke my hair. When he leaned over to kiss me, I pulled my head away. “Please, sweetheart!” he begged. “I know I can make you love me again. What we once had was good, and I miss it. I miss you, Brooke.”

  Once upon a time, I would have agreed that what we had was good, but I knew better now. What Jake and I once had couldn’t even compare to what Logan and I have.

  “Just let me go, Jake,” I pleaded. “Please, I won’t tell anyone that you brought me here. You can get some help to get off the drugs and start your life over.”

  “You are not going anywhere!” he screamed, pointing his finger at me. “You are my wife, and you are staying here with me where you belong!” He grabbed hold of my hair so I couldn’t pull away, and put his lips on mine. I closed my lips tight because there was no way I was kissing him back. I felt the tears start to fall down my face.

  He pulled away and just looked at me. He had a blank look on his face, and his eyes looked dead inside. Those beautiful blue eyes that I once loved had lost their sparkle. “Stop being such a fucking bitch, Brooke,” he snapped. He put his hand to my face to try and wipe my tears away, but I pulled my head back. I didn’t want him touching me. All I wanted was to get out of here and go back home to Logan.

  “Please let me go, Jake,” I pleaded. “I want to go home. I am sorry things didn’t work out between us, but you can be happy again. You just need some help.”

  “You are my fucking wife and you are not going anywhere. This is your home now.” He put his arms around me and held me tight. “I love you, Brooke, and you belong here with me so stop asking to leave because you can’t.” He let go of me and helped me sit up on the bed.

  “I am sorry for everything, Brooke, but I am especially sorry about what happened back in Melbourne with my secretary, and what I did to you that day at the house. The drugs are fucking with my mind, and I can’t control some of the things I do.” I could see just how messed up he was. His moods were all over the place…calm one minute, totally psycho the next.

  He was starting to calm down again so I started to talk to him and asked him some questions. I needed to know what had gone so wrong with him, and how he had ended up like this. Maybe I could get through to him and convince him to let me go.

  I asked him when he first started taking drugs. He sighed. “One of my clients is in the entertainment business, and he offered them to me. We were having a meeting one day, and he told me that I looked tired and stressed. As he was leaving my office, he threw a bag with white powder on my desk and told me to try it. He said that it would make me feel better. I swear. I was just going to throw it out. Then, that afternoon, things were just getting on top of me so I got it back out of my drawer, put some in a glass of water, and drank it. The feeling in gave me was amazing, Brooke. It seemed to make all my stress and worries just melt away.

  “I waited all of the next day before I rang my client and asked for some more. That’s how it started,” he said, “and I became hooked. I couldn’t seem to function properly without it.”

  “How long had you been cheating on me with your secretary?

  Jake put his head down. “About two months until you caught me that night. She caught me taking the drugs in my office one day. After that, she blackmailed me into sleeping with her. I tried to end it, Brooke, but she just threatened to tell everyone I was taking drugs. I was so screwed up inside and I needed the drugs, so I just did whatever she wanted me to do.”

  “I wish you would have talked to me about it back then, Jake,” I said. “Maybe if you would have, none of this would have happened.” I knew that I wouldn’t have stayed with him even if he had told me, but maybe I could have gotten some help for him and his life wouldn’t be so screwed up.

  “Did you sleep with Cavanagh that night back in Melbourne?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

  Shocked, I said, “Of course not!”

  You could plainly see the anger all over his face. “I don’t fucking believe you!” he screamed. “When I got back to the party, you were both gone, and you didn’t come home until the next day. Tell me the fucking truth!” he pleaded. “I know you were with him because I found his business card in your bag after you left me.”

  I was getting really pissed off with him now. How dare he accuse me of doing that after everything he just told me.

  “Do you want to know the truth?!” I screamed. “I collapsed outside after I found you kissing your secretary, and Logan found me and rushed me to the hospital. I was pregnant with our baby, Jake, and I didn’t even know. When I got to the hospital, I had to have an operation because I was haemorrhaging and I lost the baby.”

  Jake put his head in his hands and started to sob. “I have fucked up everything, haven’t I?” he cried. “I had a beautiful wife, a promising career, and a lovely home, and now I have nothing. If could go back to that day in my office when I first took those drugs, I would. They have ruined me, Brooke, but I can’t live without them anymore. There have been a few times that I’ve tried to give them up since you left me, but I only ever last a few hours. They are part of me now.”

  “Surely if you reached out to a rehab clinic and got help from a professional, you could get clean,” I replied.

  “Did you even hear a word I fucking said?!” he snapped. “Besides, I can’t afford to do anything like that. I am barely getting by as it is. I have no money, Brooke. Everything I had, I’ve spent on drugs. I can’t even afford to live in this shithole of a place because I’m three weeks behind in my rent, so it’s only a matter of time before I will be homeless. Rehab costs money, Brooke,” he sighed. “Sometimes I wish the drugs would just kill me.”

  “Don’t say things like that, Jake. I agree that the position you’re in sucks, but ending your life is not the answer,” I assured him. “What about your parents? Why don’t you go and live with them until you can get on your feet?”

  “I haven’t spoken to my parents in months,” he replied sadly. “They were always so proud of me, and I would be ashamed to let them s
ee me like this.” I really felt sorry for him. When he was like this, it was my old Jake, not the crazy person he now was. I wanted to reach out to him and hug him, but my hands were still tied. We sat there for a few minutes in silence before he got up off the bed and left the room.

  He was gone for a while. When he came back into the room, he was smiling. I noticed he was no longer shaking and jittery like he had been earlier. I presumed he had probably left the room to go and take some of his drugs.

  Jake stared at me from across the room, and I didn’t like the look he was giving me. “How about we have some fun, Brooke? It’s been a while since I’ve been inside that beautiful body of yours,” he said, licking his lips. “I’ve missed fucking my wife, and we have a lot of months to make up for.” Tears were falling down my cheeks again as Jake walked towards me. My body started to tremble when he wrapped his arms around me.

  “Don’t fucking touch me, Jake!” I screamed as I desperately tried to move my body away from his. I could tell it was making him mad because he was getting an angry look on his face again.

  “Stop being such a fucking, bitch,” he said before he grabbed hold of my arm and dragged me off the bed.

  “You’re hurting me, Jake!” I cried. It felt like his was ripping my arm out of the socket. My body started to shake again, but I needed to try and keep calm so I could figure a way out of here.

  “Please don’t do this, Jake,” I pleaded, but he shoved me. I started to scream for help, even though I had no idea where I was. If there were neighbours nearby maybe someone would hear me.

  The look he gave me was the same one he’d given me back in Melbourne just before he tried to strangle me. Oh shit. I have pushed him too far. Jake pulled his hand back and struck me across the side of the face with such force that he knocked me off my feet. My hands were still tied behind my back so I couldn’t even put my hands out to break my fall. My head hit the medal frame of the bed—hard! Everything went black.

  Logan

  We now had a name and address for the owner of the van…a Mr. Jake Ryan. I couldn’t believe that fucking piece of shit was trying to hide by using Brooke’s maiden name.

  Mike, my uncle, and I all ran out of the building. My car was only a two-seater so my uncle climbed in beside me, and Mike ran over to his car, which was parked in the street.

  While I was driving in the direction of Jake’s house, my uncle put the street name and number into the GPS. I knew the suburb well, but I wasn’t too familiar with the street names. I couldn’t believe that Jake had been living right under our noses the whole time. It was only a five minute drive from the penthouse.

  My uncle tried to talk to me on the way, but I told him to shut up because I was still pissed at him and wasn’t ready to talk yet. I was hoping that Jake had taken Brooke back to his place and, most importantly, that she was okay. Praying had never been my thing, but I found myself doing it on the drive over there.

  Mike had advised me not to get the police involved yet. The last thing we needed were sirens pulling up outside the house. Mike said that it would make Jake panic, and there was no telling what he would do.

  Mike’s detective friend had given us all the information we needed. I trusted that he knew what he was doing because he’d been doing this type of thing for most of his life.

  We pulled up down the street from Jake’s house. We didn’t want Jake to know we were here, and we needed to formulate a plan. We couldn’t just barge in there because that would be putting Brooke’s life at risk.

  We walked up closer to the house, and I was so relieved to see the white van parked in the driveway. Now I just hoped she was inside and still alive. Mike went in the yard first, and we followed close behind him. It was around 10:00 p.m. so, apart from the street lights, it was pitch black. The house was in darkness, too, except for one room towards the back. We quietly made our way down the side of the house, and around to the backyard.

  Mike crept up the back stairs and tried the handle. Locked. He got something out of his pocket, and used it pick the lock. Fucking genius! He reached behind him and grabbed his gun, then signalled us to come closer.

  He quietly opened the back door and motioned for us to stay put before he disappeared inside. Mike came back out a few seconds later and signalled for me. My uncle followed, but Mike put his hand up for him to stop. He made some hand gestures, pointing to his eyes and ears. My uncle nodded.

  It was a good idea because there was no telling what shit was going to go down when we got inside. Having someone outside to call for backup if needed was a smart idea.

  It was so dark that we couldn’t see anything, and we had to feel our way along the wall. The adrenalin was pumping through my body. I had no idea what we were about to find, but I tried not to think about that. When we got into the hallway, we could see the light spilling out of the room down the hall. I was behind Mike as we crept up and when he poked his head around the corner, all hell broke loose.

  He pointed the gun towards Jake but, at the same time, Jake yelled, “Drop the gun or I will fucking kill her!”

  Thank god she is still alive!

  Mike did as he was told and dropped the gun on the floor. “Kick it towards me.” So he did. Jake came to the door and the fucker smiled when he noticed I was there, too. He pointed the gun in my face, ordering me inside the room.

  My heart skipped a beat when I noticed Brooke face down on the floor. Her hands were tied behind her back, and she was just lying there lifeless, a small pool of blood next to her head.

  I honestly felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn’t handle seeing her like that. I wanted to run towards Jake and rip him apart with my bare hands. I looked over towards Mike, and could tell by the look of his face that he was silently pleading for me not to do anything stupid.

  I looked over at Jake, and the gun in his hand was pointed straight at Brooke. I could feel both anger and panic rising inside me. My gun was down the back of my pants, and I just had to wait for the right moment to use it. Putting Brooke in any more danger was the last thing I wanted to do.

  Jake looked at me with hate in his eyes. “Actually, Cavanagh,” he said, “I am glad you’re here because I still get the pleasure of killing Brooke, but now I have the added bonus of watching the look on your face as I do it.” I wanted to kill that fucker with my bare hands because I had never felt so much hate for a person in my life. I needed to keep my head, though, because Brooke’s life depended on it.

  John

  What in the hell have I done? I finally find my daughter after all these years, and now I have done something that could possibly end her life. The thought filled me with dread, and I might actually be sick.

  Seeing Brooke the other day at Lara’s party was both the best and worst day of my life. The best because I finally found my child, the one I have been dreaming of finding for the last twenty-six years; the worst because that was the day I found out my soul mate was no longer on this earth. Being without Maree all these has been like living without part of my soul. I am a shell of man compared to who I was when we were together, and I’ve been truly dead inside without her.

  When Brooke was introduced to me at the party, I got a shock. I felt like my past was coming back to haunt me. As soon as I laid eyes on her, I knew that she was my daughter. Her resemblance to Maree was uncanny. It was like they were the same person. Brooke was taller than her mother was, but her facial features were exactly the same. My Maree was the most beautiful women in the world, and it made me happy to know that my daughter looked exactly like her. After talking to Brooke that day, I could also see that she had her mother’s sweet persona.

  The moment Brooke said that her mother had passed away when she was eighteen, my world crumbled. I have spent the better part of the last twenty-six years searching for her, and always hoped that I would find her again. I’m not ashamed to admit it, but when I left Brooke and Logan at the table and went upstairs to lie down, I cried like a baby. Knowing I would never see Mare
e again brought back all those horrible feelings from that day in my office. I was crushed.

  When Maree walked out of my office that day, it had only taken me a minute to realise I had made a monumental mistake. I ran down to the street to stop her, to take back everything I had just said, but she was gone. Waiting until the next day to go to her turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life because she had packed up her apartment and left. I even went to the university looking for her, but found out that she had dropped out.

  That was when I hired a private detective to find her. It cost me tens of thousands of dollars over the years, but the money meant nothing to me. I just wanted Maree back. I even went as far as searching the hospitals around the time I surmised she would be giving birth. Maree never told me how far along she was. I suppose I never gave her the chance, but every day for two months, I went to all the hospitals in the area, asking if there had been a Maree Ryan admitted. There never was.

  That fateful day Maree walked out on me is a day I will never forget. It still haunts me. She was the love of my life, and those eight months we spent together gave me so much happiness. There have been times over the years that those memories were the only thing that kept me going.

  Being married to the “she-devil” for the past thirty years has been hell on earth, but I stayed because it was a way of punishing myself for what I had done to my precious Maree that day. I will never forgive myself…ever!

  My wife, if I can even call her that because she was only my wife on paper, and I have no love for her. I don’t even respect her as a person. The only time we even kissed was on our wedding day, and that was only a quick peck. Our marriage was purely a business agreement, nothing more. We have never slept together. We don’t even share a bed. We lived in opposite ends of the house, and that was the way I liked it. She had absolutely nothing on my Maree.

  My Maree had a heart of gold. She was like sunshine and rainbows. Margaret, on the other hand, had ice running through her veins and a heart as black as night. I only married her because she threatened my career if I didn’t. Thinking back, I know I only agreed because I was young and stupid. If I had known that a few years later I would meet the love of my life, I never would have agreed to marry her.