I would’ve chosen him over anything and anyone. I was so in love with him I would’ve walked through fire to get him to look at me. I would’ve stabbed a knife through my own foot for him to love me. As much as I love my family, the lovesick girl always chooses her heart over everything.
“Exactly,” he says. “And my stupidity back then would’ve ruined us somehow. I was afraid you’d turn your back on them and then be left with nobody.”
“You were also afraid of Simon.”
“I wasn’t afraid of Simon. I was more afraid of Simon wanting nothing to do with me. He was my best friend for years. I walked away because I didn’t want to hear him say how much I betrayed him.”
“People don’t change. What makes you think I’m going to believe you won’t walk away when something goes wrong this time?”
“I promise you I will never walk away. I’m here now, fighting for you, harder than I ever have. This is me telling you that no matter what happens between us, I’m here for good. Always. There’s no running. We have a problem? We’ll yell at each other, slam some doors, and make-up. No bags will be packed. No calls ignored. I won’t abandon you. I give you my word.”
I blink, trying to hold back the tears surfacing. “Wow,” I breathe out. “I wasn’t expecting all of that.”
“And I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with my best friend’s annoying ass little sister.” He laughs when I slug him in the arm.
“Now I have a question for you.” We might as well get this shit over with. He looks down at me, causing my heart to beat faster. I point next to me. “But first sit down, you’re making me nervous.”
I’m forced to scoot over when he plops down next to me. “Better?”
I nod, wrapping my arms around myself. “Better.”
“Now what’s your question?”
“The necklace.”
“What about it?”
“What does it mean?” I’ve wanted to know this for years. I’ve racked my brain, going over our past conversations, but could never figure it out. Step one.
“I bought it before Simon found out about us and planned to give it to you for Christmas. After I left, I knew that wasn’t an option, but I still wanted you to have it. I hoped it would let you know that even though we couldn’t be together, what we had was real. I wanted to make sure you knew that you meant something to me – even when I was a mess.”
“So you took the cowardly way out and mailed it? Did you honestly think I’d figure that out?”
“Yeah … that probably wasn’t that smartest thing I’ve ever done.”
“What does it mean?” I press. I want to know more. “Step one?”
“It means moving forward. I was ready to take that first step with you. I was ready to step to the line of commitment and have a relationship. I wanted you as my own, and I wanted to be yours.”
I look away from him, bitterness slowly crawling into me. “But then you chickened out. You took all of that energy to show me you were ready and then bailed like a wimp.”
“Look at me.” His voice is thick, but pleading. I don’t. I can’t. “I’m not going to answer shit if you can’t even look at me.”
Nervousness coils through me. I hesitate for a moment. This is venturing into too much uncharted territory. I slowly turn my head to look at him, noticing the look of concern on his face.
His hand locks onto mine. “You’re right. I was a wimp.” He laughs at the term. “I was an immature guy who thought he knew everything and was afraid to deal with real life consequences. But that’s not me anymore. I love you, Nautica. Forgive me for being a dumbass, for hurting you, for walking away like a damn coward. Give me another chance. Dig deep and drag out all of that love you once had for me.”
His words. Damn, those words are like a firework charging through me, lighting me up with excitement, and burning me up with emotions.
I gulp and take a few breaths to get my words in order. “Okay,” I say, with a nod. “I forgive you. I truly and deeply forgive you.” His face brightens up. “I’m also trusting you with my heart again, and if you break it, there’s no second chances.”
He strokes my cheek. “You have my word.” His lips form a grin, giving me chills. “Now we have another problem?”
“What?” I’ve had enough talking to last me for the next year.
“I haven’t tasted you in years.” I yelp as I’m dragged down the bed, and my legs are parted. “We need to rectify that.”
I shiver at the feel of his cold hands against my stomach as he lifts up my top. My hips jolt forward when he skims a finger along my waistline before dipping it underneath the band of my skirt. My heart skips as beat when he unzips it, and I wriggle my ass to help him pull it down my legs.
“I’ve been dying to lick your pussy,” he whispers, dragging my panties down. “It’s been way too fucking long.”
I squirm underneath him, waiting with anticipation, as my blood boils. I’ve missed this. No one has gotten me off with only their tongue and fingers like Bracken has.
He cups me between my legs, his grip tight, and my hips buck forward. Jesus.
He skates the tip of his finger along my entrance teasingly – killing me. I let out a begging whimper. God, I need this.
“Have you been dying for the same thing?” he asks. I can’t say anything. All I’m focused on is his finger right there. So close. So damn close. He toys with me more, adding another finger. “Nautica, answer me, baby.”
I cry out when he pushes a finger inside of me – just one. “If you want more,” he goes on. “Tell me the truth. Tell me if you craved my fingers, my tongue, on your pussy every single night.”
“Yes!” I cry out. I jump when he presses another finger into my heat. “God, yes!”
“Fuck yeah,” he seethes.
His fingers thrust in and out of my entrance – hard, fast, and rough. It’s agony, a delightful agony that I want to last forever. I rock back and forth against his hand. The agony turns into torture, and I jump when his tongue meets his fingers, lapping me up.
He’s an expert at this; possessing me as he hits every spot I need him. His fingernails dig into my skin harder as I get closer. His tongue dives in deeper with each moan. I’m getting … closer and closer … until I shudder out my release.
“Fuck me,” I breathe out frantically. “Fuck me now.” I push myself up and start desperately undressing him. Our arms and hands hit each other’s as we try to do it quickly. I lie back as he drops his pants. His dick springs out, fully erect, and ready for me. I lick my lips.
“Do you want me to wear a condom?” he asks, stroking his thick cock once.
I shake my head. “No. I just want you – raw, hard, no barrier.”
My chest hitches as he crawls up my body. He plants his lips on mine as he slowly eases himself inside of me. He makes me feel full, wanted, needed. I used to live for this feeling, and now it’s mine again.
His mouth stays on mine, our tongues meeting, as he withdraws and sinks back into me. I gasp when he pulls back, his chest going straight, and starts to pound in and out of me.
I reach out and wipe away the tiny beads of sweat from his chest. “Why did you get my name?” I ask, feathering my fingers over it.
He looks down at me, his eyes hooded, but he doesn’t stop fucking me. “Because I could never stop thinking about you.” He slams into me with more force. “Because you’re a part of me, and you needed to be etched into my skin.”
I don’t want to come yet. I want this feeling to last longer, but I can’t help it. The way he’s giving it to me combined with how much I’ve missed this is taking me over.
“I’m close,” I tell him.
“Yes. Come all over my cock,” he says, gaining more force with each thrust. He gives it to me harder and I shutter out my release. He’s still going, slamming into me body roughly, until he fills me with his come.
“I think that was better than the last time we were here,” I say, as he loses his we
ight on me.
“I think that was fucking amazing,” he replies, kissing my forehead. “I can’t wait to do this for the rest of my life.”
chapter thirty-two
nautica
“Aren’t we going home?” I ask, noticing Bracken going in the opposite direction of my house.
We’re back in his truck after checking out of the hotel ten minutes ago. I still can’t wrap my head around everything that happened in that hotel room. We made love two more times last night and had a shower quickie this morning. Being back in his arms, him being inside of me, it all feels right again.
He glances over at me from the driver’s side. “Have you always been this impatient?” he asks. “You used to be more game for my ideas. No questions asked.”
“I used to be obsessed with you,” I argue, halfway kidding. “You could’ve told me to chop off my pinky finger and I would’ve asked you what tool you wanted me to do it with.”
“So you’re not obsessed with me anymore?”
I shrug. “Eh … not really.”
“Not really, huh? Sure didn’t seem that way when you were begging me to fuck you harder this morning.”
“I never said I wasn’t obsessed with your cock.”
“If you want to have my cock, we’re a package deal. You have to take the both of us. It’s all or nothing.”
I laugh and let out a dramatic sigh. “Fine, I guess I’ll let you tag along.”
“Glad you love being around me so much.” He grabs my hand in his. “But I know you really love me as much as you love this dick, so no hard feelings.”
I wish I could hide my blush. “And I know you love me just as much as you love my va-jay-jay.”
“Damn straight. There’s no denying that shit.”
A few hours pass of small talk and listening to the radio before we pull up to a small restaurant a few miles from KU campus. I used to come here all the time when Macy and I were in school.
More memories he’s conjuring up.
“We drove all this way to go to lunch?” I ask, unbuckling my seatbelt as my stomach growls. “You could’ve saved us a lot of time and money by going somewhere closer.”
I lose the warmth of his hand as he parks the truck. “This is more than lunch,” he replies. I raise a brow, asking for an explanation, but he only jumps from the truck and comes to my side.
“Elaborate,” I demand, not in the mood for surprises, unless it’s a puppy or something along those lines. A puppy would be nice – someone to spend the time with incase Bracken decides to skip town again.
“You’ll see.” He helps me out of the truck and leads me through the front door.
The place isn’t very busy. The hostess greets us with a bright smile before leading us to a backroom. Bracken’s front bumps into my back when I stop in the doorway.
“Really?” I whisper, not bothering to turn around and look at him. I freeze up when his hands latch onto my waist. He stays silent while waiting for my next move.
I eye the scene in front of us. Jasper is sitting at a large, family-style, circular table with a woman who looks about my age parked next to him. Next to her is Bracken’s mom. A man I don’t recognize is in the chair to her left. Even though I want to turn around and run away, I clear my throat and head over to them, not wanting to be rude.
“Here comes trouble,” Jasper sings as I get closer. I stumble forward, almost tripping on my feet, when I notice the baby cradled in his arms. “It’s nice to see you again.” He hands the baby over to the woman to get up and give me a tight hug.
I wrap my arms around him and smile. I haven’t seen or talked to him since he ran after me at their apartment.
He points to the woman when I pull away. “This is my wife, Lanie,” he says. The petite blonde throws me a shy wave, along with a smile. “And this is our daughter, Madeline.”
I’m relieved Bracken told me about Jasper getting married and having a kid, or I would’ve fallen down in shock. I thought I’d never see the day he’d settle down. I guess it goes to show people really can change.
“Hi,” I say, waving back. “It’s nice to meet you, and your daughter is so precious.”
I look at Bracken’s mom, Lisa, who’s grinning from ear-to-ear. I briefly saw her at Randy’s funeral, but we didn’t talk. I’m probably not her favorite person in the world, considering my mom was the knife that ripped apart her marriage.
I feel the heat of Bracken at my back again. He gives me a soft nudge, and I take that as my cue to sit down.
“Nautica, sweetie,” Lisa says. “It’s great seeing you again. You look so grown up and beautiful. My son has been telling me about your job and how well you’re doing. I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you,” I say, fidgeting in my seat.
She introduces me to her husband, and the waitress comes to take our order. I relax in my chair as I realize what’s going on. Bracken is walking me into the new life he has here with his mom and friends. He’s showing me what I’ve been missing, what he’s been doing.
Jasper picks up his fork when they bring us our food and uses it to signal back and forth between Bracken and me. “So are you two back together?” he asks.
I play with my napkin in my lap. Does he really have to start making things awkward?
“Honey,” Lanie gasps, her eyes wide. She should know how outspoken her husband is by now.
“What?” Jasper asks, with a shrug. “She knows I don’t hold anything back. I want my best friend to be happy. I’ve watched him wallow around miserable for far too long.” He points to me. “This chick right here, she’s his happy factor, and I’m not letting him lose her again.”
“I don’t plan on it,” Bracken says, taking my hand underneath the table. I shiver as his thumb runs along the top of it.
I look over at him and smile.
This is Bracken showing me his commitment.
I get it now.
chapter thirty-three
bracken
six months later
“Don’t you think it’s a little too soon?” Simon asks, looking at me from across the living room with a look of shock on his face. He definitely wasn’t expecting this.
It’s Wednesday night dinner. The women, along with Annabelle, are in the kitchen cooking and gossiping. I figured this would be the perfect time to ask his approval for something that is long overdue.
If this were five years ago, I wouldn’t know how this conversation would go, but I’m feeling more confident now. I’ve been back in town, in their lives, for six months now, and it feels like I never left. I can’t believe I’d been willing to give all of this up.
My eyes deadpan on him. “No,” I answer.
“But it’s only been months.”
“No, it’s been years in the making. You know that.” I make eye contact with him. I want him to know I’m serious. “We took a break, sure, but that doesn’t mean shit has changed about us or how I feel.”
He plays with the label on his beer, peeling off the edges. “You really have your mind made up, don’t you? I want you to tell me right now you’re serious, no bullshit.”
“No bullshit. Nothing is changing. I’m not letting her go again,” I say, confidently.
He leans forward with a grin. “So how are you going to do it?”
I can’t hold back my smile. “I have the perfect plan in mind. She’s going to love it.”
chapter thirty-four
nautica
“This is our last performance before summer break,” I tell the group of girls clad in bright colored, sequined leotards standing in front of me. I clap my hands, and they nod their heads in response. I’m not sure if it’s because the season is ending that they’re so excited, but they can’t seem to contain their smiles.
It’s the last week of school. My first year of teaching has come to a bittersweet end. I’m going to miss walking in and seeing a room full of students every morning, but I’m excited for my summer plans. Bracken and I are
traveling through Europe for a month.
These past six months have been amazing. We’re closer than we’ve ever been, and I mean extremely close. After weeks of insisting it was ridiculous for us to be paying two rents, especially when I was staying at his place every night, I finally agreed to move in with him when the lease to my apartment expired two months ago. Over the last few weeks we’ve been looking at houses for sale.
Buying a house together is a big step, but I think we’re there. In my heart, I believe Bracken is being honest when he tells me he’s not going anywhere.
The girls form a single file line and strut out into the packed auditorium. I wave to the crowd as I make my way to my seat. I get comfortable, ready to see them perform the routine we’ve practiced dozens of times, but flinch when I hear the music start to play.
The wrong music.
I bound out of my seat and look around for the audio guy, but stop when I notice the girls start to dance like it’s no big deal.
What the?
They’re dancing a routine we’ve never practiced to Trains’, Marry Me.
I sit back down. There’s no use making a scene and stopping them. My head starts to spin and I hold my breath when they break away from each other, revealing him.
The spotlight lands on him standing in the middle of the stage wearing a full tuxedo. A bouquet of roses is clasped in one hand, and a microphone is in the other. His beard and hair are neatly trimmed, and a giant ass smile is on his face.
I’m going to pass out. I know it.
The girls continue to dance around him, performing a beautiful routine until the music stops. They file out. The rest of the room seems to drown out. It’s only him and me. He’s the only thing on my mind.
The air is silent as he brings the microphone to his mouth. I look down and notice my hands are shaking.
Bad For You: (An Older Brother's Best Friend Romance) Page 17