I identified Nguyan Thj Dung after she signed in at the desk. She was a compact and lithe woman who seemed to be in very good shape for someone who had been off work for more than a year due to a low back injury. Bird-like almond eyes peered suspiciously around the waiting room until the perky nurse announced Dung’s name and took her back to a treatment room.
I immediately suspected this wasn’t the first time someone had tried to tail Dung, whom I decided to nickname Ho Chi Minh. Comic relief in the face of chaos, suffering, and death had always helped me cope. Roni constantly reminded me how politically incorrect my habit was so I lied, promising to quit the next time I got a new referral.
Months of therapy, epidural steroid injections, and then more therapy had failed to relieve Dung/Ho’s intractable pain. Despite her near normal MRI, Ho repeatedly insisted in perfect English she was completely unable to work. The adjuster from Bi-State Insurance suspected Ho was double dipping, collecting workers’ compensation while working another job.
Ho Chi Minh had been packing boxes for her employer, JB Electronics, for three hours when she suddenly grabbed her low back and started rolling around on the floor. Terrified, her supervisor wanted to call an ambulance until Ho insisted she would be fine if she could just be referred to Dr. Blake. Her employer immediately agreed.
Ho’s comp checks were sent to a post office box. No one, including her employer, had any idea where she lived. I couldn’t find her name in any of the search engines we used, so I was convinced Ho had to be using an alias. Hopefully, I could follow her when she left the doctor’s office and figure out what she was up to.
After that I hoped to pick up the trail of Mary Spencer aka Mary Poppins. Anticipating her diagnostic tests would come back normal, her adjuster asked me to close her case management file and follow her instead. My thoughts were interrupted when Ho returned to the waiting room, checking everyone out as she waited impatiently for her discharge papers. After she retrieved them, she headed for the exit, walking briskly.
I jumped up and trailed as closely behind Ho as I dared. A cluster of people waited for the elevator; I tried to blend in as I joined the group. Ho eyed all of the passengers carefully as the car arrived and we filed in. Big red flags floated through my mind on the ride down.
When the doors opened in the lobby, Ho darted in front of everyone to get out of the elevator, pushing an older woman aside to take the lead. Almost in a dead run, she paused only because the automatic exit doors were slow to open. Ho raced to the curb and stood there for no more than 20 seconds when a black Mustang convertible pulled up, barely allowing her time to jump in before the driver sped away. I was left standing at the curb, trying to identify a license plate number, realizing my plan to tail Ho Chi Minh had been scuttled.
I ended up having better luck with Mary Poppins. I arrived at her West County condo and only had to wait 15 minutes before I spotted Mary leaving the condo and jumping into her baby blue Honda CRV. I ducked down when she came out and fell back at first, but it soon became obvious that Mary Poppins, unlike Ho, was paying no attention. She never checked her mirrors or seemed to notice my rather loose tail.
Mary’s destination proved to be Plaza Frontenac, a large shopping mall only 10 minutes from her condo. She exited the Honda with a spring in her step, wearing a long black raincoat, carrying a huge purse and a shopping bag. I wasn’t sure I should I follow her into the mall, but she looked like she was a woman on a mission so I figured, why not?
Moving from one department to another with precision, Mary was careful in her movements. I watched from a discreet distance until eventually I began to understand what Mary was doing. Vigilant, Mary moved quickly from one department to the next, never even close to approaching a check out.
Fascinated by Mary’s skillful shoplifting abilities, I watched in horror as she successfully shoplifted her way through some of the most chi-chi stores in the area. The loose fitting raincoat and a huge purse concealed Mary’s calculated thefts.
Unsure what to do about Mary’s criminal activities, I avoided my first impulse and decided to wait until I had a chance to talk to Roni before I made a final decision. After the shopping spree, I followed Mary Poppins to a gym near her home and was able to get a video of her participating in a strenuous hour-long Pilates class. Even if her diagnostics were abnormal, my DVD would probably end her comp claim.
After that, I headed to Roni’s house, where Harley was supposed to be fixing dinner. Harley prided himself on his gourmet cooking; I was frequently invited to sample his latest creation. During the drive, I thought about my life before I fled to Alaska. My parents were strict Catholics; I followed their plan for the first 38 years of my life without any protest.
I married James Talty and we had a son we named Ethan. My dream had been to have several children; mostly I think it’s better the way it turned out. Behind the church deacon façade, James secretly drank himself into oblivion. At first, he hid his secret from everyone, but eventually his burning need to drink overwhelmed any sense of propriety.
It was during this time that my relationship with Harley changed. In high school, he dated Roni off and on, lurking in the shadows. I dated James and I was always aware there seemed to be an underlying animus between Harley and me. At the time, I never gave it much thought. After I married James, our relationship deteriorated even further until we had a blowout.
On the surface, Harley doesn’t fit the profile of a prescient observer, but he certainly had James pegged. The night of our blowout, he railed at me about why I tolerated James and his behavior. Harley encouraged me to quit accepting what my life had become and challenged me to understand that James would never quit drinking. That night, all the negative feelings evaporated, replaced by Harley’s support and good-natured teasing.
Ethan and I were frequent visitors to the Edelin farm. When Ethan was little and I worked evenings or nights and James was too drunk to notice, Ethan could be spotted at their dinner table. Since Roni and Harley have five children, Ethan felt comfortable there. I can’t count the number of times after my shift I slung a sleeping Ethan over my shoulder for the short ride home.
I had to face some hard truths while I was in Alaska. I wanted to believe that it was only James and his drinking that made me want to work so much and leave Ethan with James or Roni and Harley. The real truth is much more complicated than that, and I’m still trying to sort it all out. One thing I’m sure of is that I wasn’t a very good mother back then. Some people aren’t meant to be parents. Too bad there isn’t a test to weed out the bad candidates.
I know Roni thinks I came back because I missed her and wanted to go into business with her. That certainly factored into my decision, but the real reason is the guilt I feel that I abandoned Ethan. I am desperately trying to reestablish some kind of relationship with him. He attends college two hours away; I visit him every other weekend.
Current reality ended my reverie as I turned onto the access road that led to the farm. Harley waved as I parked close to the house but as far away from the Bradford pear tree and the bluebirds as I could get.
As I exited the car Harley asked. “Don’t want to park under the tree again, huh?”
“What’s that saying?” I asked. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
“Whatever,” Harley said. “Roni’s on the phone.”
“How did lunch go?”
“Ok, I think,” Harley said. “Roni is having a hard time with this.”
“I know, I talked to her this morning.”
“I think she just needs to get to know this woman better,” Harley said.
“I guess. That box by the barn is gone. Did you catch that cat?”
“Yeah, he’s a brand new resident of Perry County,” Harley said as he handed me a cold Corona.
“Seriously, that’s how you’re going to play this?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.
“OK, we’ll do it your way.”
Harley pretended to look wounded and was about to respond when Roni joined us and said. “How was your day, Kitty?”
“I spent my day following Mary Poppins and Ho Chi Minh.”
Harley stared at me, grabbed my beer, and said. “No more beer for you.”
“It’s OK, Harley,” Roni said. “She gives everyone we investigate a nickname. Mary Poppins is the one who peed on the doctor’s floor, right?”
“Too much information,” Harley said as he handed me back my beer. “I’m going in. I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”
I waited until Harley was out of sight before I said. “I followed Mary Poppins to the mall. She spent most of the afternoon shoplifting. What do we do about that?”
“Is that all she did?” Roni asked.
“No, I got a nice video of her doing Pilates at the gym.”
“Well, that should be enough to send to Dr. Mirren,” Roni said. “With normal diagnostics and that video, they can end her comp claim and we’re out of it.”
“I hate the idea she gets away with shoplifting and comp fraud. They’ll just close her file. They won’t be able to prove fraud. She’ll just move on to the next scam.”
“Well, you could follow her one more time,” Roni offered. “Pro bono, of course. When she’s in the mall doing her thing, call security and let them know.”
“I like it.”
“Who is Ho Chi Minh?” Roni asked.
“She’s that Vietnamese woman whose real name is Nguyan Thj Dung. I got the referral a couple of days ago. She doesn’t live at the address where they send her checks. She had a doctor’s appointment this morning, so I decided to catch up with her there. She left his office and jumped in a car that sped away before I could follow. She was checking everyone out as she left. This wasn’t the first time she’s been followed. It’s going to take both of us to nail her.”
“OK, let me know when you want to do it,” Roni said.
“When are you going to see your new para?”
“His name is Brad Henry,” Roni said. “He’s having some tests for the next couple of days so I’ll go early next week.”
“You do a great job with paras and quads. I’ve always thought I could handle being a paraplegic. I mean you’d still have a functioning upper body. That whole below the neck being gone thing; I’m not convinced I could do that. I think I’d rather be dead.”
“I always think of David Weller,” Roni said. “He’s a quad I worked with a couple of years ago. He’s amazing. I helped him get 24/7 nursing care and got him through rehab. He still runs his construction company. He’s a multi-millionaire and his injury hasn’t slowed him down one bit.”
“Dinner’s ready,” Harley said as he appeared in the doorway. “Hey, Kitty, how’s that cyber-dating going?”
“I’m taking it slow,” I said as we walked in the house. “I’ve been exchanging e-mails with this one guy. We’re going to have dinner Saturday night.”
“You be careful, Kitty,” Harley said. “The world is full of freaks and perverts and a lot of them are on the Net.”
“I’m touched, Harley,” I said.
“I don’t think I could go on without you, Kitty,” Harley said. “You complete me.”
“Wow, Harley, are we having bullshit for dinner, too?”
Chapter Six
Against my better judgment, I was on my way to Roni and Harley’s for Saturday night dinner. A cloudless sky and temperatures in the eighties allowed shimmers of heat to glint off the hood of my red convertible. I pulled over halfway there to put the top up, feeling a nasty sunburn coming with any further exposure to the sun.
In order to attend, I had to cancel my first date with Jack Kyle, a man I met on eLove.com. We had been exchanging e-mails for the last several weeks and had planned to take it to the next level, an actual meeting. In all candor, I wasn’t looking forward to dating again. All I could remember from my first round years ago was a general feeling that the process was awkward and usually ended in rejection for someone. I have never been much of an optimist, and time has only added to my cynicism.
Roni begged me to come and finally played the friend card because her father and his girlfriend were also supposed to be there. My job was to scope Marian out, looking for any kind of flaw that Roni missed. I almost felt sorry for Marian. I wondered if she realized she was about to run the Edelin gauntlet. Roni’s role was to glare at me in mock horror while I asked Marian all those horribly intrusive questions Roni would certainly proffer without her father’s presence.
Once again, I avoided the Bradford pear trees and parked closer to the house. Harley was smoking ribs and I realized I was going to have to eat salads for the next week to make up for this binge. Harley smiled and waved his huge barbecue fork as I approached.
“Hey, Kitty, how’s it going?” he asked.
“Good. Are you ready to check out Billy’s new squeeze?”
“Yeah, I’m ready,” he said.
“I was a little nervous about leaving my new friend.”
“What new friend?” he asked.
“I think you know. I named the cat Harley. She’s preggers, did you realize that?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.
“OK, we can play it like that. So, are you one of those people who hates cats? Do you tie them on the back of your truck?”
“You know,” he said. “You city people drive down here with pets you don’t want and just let them loose as if we’re going to find them on the porch and I’m gonna say, ‘Look, Roni, it’s another cat. Isn’t that great. Let’s take it in. We always have room for one more’.”
“I guess I never thought about it. What do you do?”
“Everybody down here has a bone yard,” he said. “We shoot them and bury them in the bone yard.”
“That’s horrible.”
“It’s more humane than letting them starve to death,” he said as Billy Diamond pulled up to the house. “Showtime. Remember, careful scrutiny but don’t piss them off.”
“Did you tell Billy to park under the Bradford?” I asked.
“No, I reserve all my harmless pranks for you, Kitty,” he said as he laughed.
“Payback is a bitch, Harley,” I said.
Roni must have heard the car because she joined us on the porch. I sensed her tension, which seemed so out of character for her. Billy seemed to be moving in slow motion as if he might be imparting his final words of warning or encouragement to his companion. Billy climbed out nimbly and walked around the car, opened the passenger door, and extended a hand to help Marian exit the vehicle.
My first thought when I saw her could be summed up as: way overdressed. We were, after all, in the middle of what I always thought of as butt fuck. Even if you insisted on the cleaned up version, the boonies, clearly it was impossible to reconcile her attire with an area of the country where a loud boom made everyone wonder whose meth lab just went up in flames. Marian was wearing a black suit with a white frilly blouse visible underneath. She even wore a black hat, which I hadn’t seen anyone wear since I was a child.
Every finger seemed to have a different colored ring on it and a strand of white pearls adorned her neck. I glanced at Harley, whose mouth seemed to have fallen open. I wasn’t sure if the jewelry, the hat, or the cumulative effect of everything caused his reaction. Billy and Marian stepped up on the porch, waiting for someone to make a move. Roni surreptitiously stepped on Harley’s foot, a signal for him to close his mouth.
“Dad, Marian, it’s good to see you again,” Roni said as she stepped forward and hugged her father. She stuck out her hand to Marian, who reacted by stepping forward and grabbing Roni, hugging her with a furious intensity almost as if she knew what was coming and was trying to ward it off.
“Marian, this is my husband Harley,” Roni said as she stepped back and Harley stuck his hand out, clearly hoping to avoid a hug. Marian smiled and shook Harley’s hand.
“This is my best
friend, Kitty Talty,” Roni said. I duplicated Harley’s move and shook Marian’s hand.
“Let’s go in and have a drink,” Roni suggested as we all walked into the house.
After several glasses of wine for courage, I was ready to begin my interrogation. We were seated at the dinner table, digging into Harley’s smoked ribs when I blurted out my first question.
“So, Marian,” I said. “I noticed you had a hint of an accent. Where were you born?”
“That’s my southern accent,” Marian said. “I’m old school so this lady isn’t going to tell you what year that was. So, are you also a nurse, Kitty?”
“Yeah, Roni and I have been best friends since high school,” I said. “You know, I would have guessed that accent was from Kentucky. I have relatives there.”
“Well, I left home when I was 19,” she said. “Accents get diluted after 40 years.”
“How about more ribs, Marian?” Harley asked.
“No thank you, Harley,” Marian said. “Aren’t you a sweetheart. I’m glad Roni snagged you.”
“Yeah, there was a huge line of women trying to snatch Harley,” I said as Marian glared at me and Harley laughed.
Marian miscalculated when she glared at me. I’m sure the desired result was my silence but that look only spurred me on. After all, I wasn’t really part of the family so I didn’t have to play nice in this sandbox.
“So, Marian, have you ever been married?” I asked as sudden silence descended in the room.
“I’m a widow,” Marian said sadly. “Like Billy, I lost my spouse.”
“So, you were only married once?” I asked.
“How about some more potato salad, Kitty?” Billy asked as he stared at me and handed me the bowl. I took that as an unspoken message to stop.
Worse Than Being Alone Page 3