I was considering my next move when the sound of mooing interrupted the conversation. We all strained to hear and were rewarded with more mooing that seemed ominously close. Everyone left the table and headed for the porch. A small herd of cows had taken up residence in the front yard. They seemed to be as curious about us as we were about them. The great cow stare down had begun.
“I smell a rat,” Harley said. “Kitty, did you have something to do with this?”
“You’re just being paranoid, Harley,” I said. “You know how I feel about cows.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Harley said.
“They’re staring at us,” Roni said.
“Where did they come from?” I asked.
“They probably belong to the Cowens,” Harley said. “I’ll go call them.”
“I don’t like the way they’re staring at me,” I said. “It really creeps me out.”
“They keep mooing,” Marian said. “It’s like they’re talking to each other.”
“I don’t like the way that one over there is looking at me,” I said. “I think that one is telling the rest of them my butt looks big.”
“Moooo,” the cow closest to the house intoned as the others joined in.
“Shoo,” Roni said as she waved her arms and came down the stairs in an attempt to get the interlopers to leave.
This only resulted in another loud chorus of mooing as none of the beasts seemed inclined to move even an inch. Previously, my cow viewing had all been from a distance. I found this up close and personal contact unsettling. I kept getting the sense that just as we were standing there talking about them, they were also sharing an opinion about us. Saturday night in the country; wahoo, gotta love it.
Chapter Seven
What a glorious early morning sight, Roni Edelin thought as she sipped coffee from a huge mug while standing on her porch the next morning. The leaves on the trees had almost achieved their fullest potential and everything was in bloom; daffodils waving back and forth, dogwoods and redbuds the most dominant feature of every copse in sight. Spring had always been her favorite season.
Roni loved the country. There were times when she tired of the way everyone always seemed to be prying into her business, but Roni couldn’t imagine living in St. Louis like Kitty. She understood Kitty’s feelings; Kitty had moved here in high school and, as such, had never really been accepted. She was still considered an outsider.
That wasn’t the case for Roni. The land she was standing on had been in her mother’s family for a hundred years. With the exception of Billy, all her relatives either lived or were buried nearby. And now that she was about to become a grandmother, the cycle would continue.
“Hey, breakfast is ready, Grandma,” Harley said as he stuck his head out of the slider.
Roni joined him in the small breakfast room, grabbed the coffee pot, and poured them both another cup of coffee. “I can’t believe we’re going to be grandparents,” she said, recalling their daughter Emma’s phone call informing them of her pregnancy.
“I’m excited,” Harley said.
“I’m not sure how I feel about becoming a grandmother.”
“It’ll be great,” Harley said.
“I’m glad the cows are gone. They’re really noisy and they tore up the yard.”
“The Cowens weren’t too happy when I called them last night,” Harley said. “They tried to tell me they weren’t their cows. I told them that was fine. We could use the meat and we’d have them all butchered.”
“That explains why they were here at first light. Did they figure out how they got out?”
“They found a place along the fence line that had been knocked down,” Harley said. “I still think Kitty is involved somehow.”
“May be you’re just feeling guilty because you torment her so much.”
“Well, she’s going to try to get even,” Harley said.
“That’s a given but I’m not sure she’d use cows. She seemed freaked out last night when she saw them in the yard.”
“How do you think it went?” Harley asked.
“I think we may have overplayed our hand. It’s possible Billy might think we were picking on Marian.”
“The arrival of the cows kept it from getting too bad,” Harley observed. “That seemed to end the inquisition. Still, Marian might be smart enough to make Billy feel guilty.”
“I can’t make up my mind about her. I think my people radar is off.”
“That’s because this is personal,” Harley said. “You want your dad to be happy, but the child inside doesn’t want daddy to be with another woman.”
“Well, Harley Edelin, sometimes you dazzle me with insights.”
“That’s what us macho, silent types do,” he said.
“OK, that’s a little over the top.”
“You know, I’ve been thinking,” Harley said, trying to change the subject. “I’m a little worried about Kitty and this cyber dating thing. Our little Kitty has turned into a swan. I just hope she’s careful. You still headed to Barnes Hospital tomorrow?”
“Yeah, as soon as we finish breakfast.”
“Is this guy going to end up being pissed off at you?” Harley asked. “I’ve heard some of the phone messages you get.”
“Those messages are from people who aren’t interested in getting better,” Roni said. “Their goal is to delay treatment and avoid going back to work at all costs.”
“How is this guy at Barnes different?”
“This young man has had his whole life turned upside down. These kinds of injuries keep me honest. I do my best work on cases like this. I can get him into the best rehab facility in the area and help him and his wife adjust.”
Chapter Eight
Billy Diamond thought dinner in Hillsboro had been tough, but he had a vague premonition that breakfast in Alton might also be a challenge. Marian was on her way over but there had been a distinct tone in her voice when she called. Red flags seemed to be flying around the kitchen as Billy whipped up pancake batter, sausage and eggs, and another pot of coffee.
Marian had been quiet on the ride back from Roni’s the night before and had refused to spend the night, which was Marian’s typical tactic when she was mad about something. Billy had just finished putting all the food on the table when he heard the doorbell. A subdued Marian stood in the doorway when he opened the door.
“Good morning, Marian,” Billy said as he waved her in.
“Good morning, Billy,” she said as she allowed Billy to kiss her on the cheek and they walked back to the kitchen.
“Would you like some coffee?” Billy asked.
“That would be fine,” Marian said as she sat down.
Billy brought two steaming mugs to the table and sat down, allowing the passing of food to replace dialogue. The silence seemed to go on a long time with Billy trying his best to avoid looking at Marian. Eventually, the pancakes had been buttered and lathered with syrup, the sausage had been cut into bite-sized pieces, and the eggs had been salted and peppered. Before he began to eat, Billy made the mistake of looking at Marian. Silent tears were running down her cheeks, making a mess of her heavily applied make-up.
“Good grief, what’s wrong Marian?” Billy asked as he grabbed Marian’s hand.
That simple question broke the dam as Marian’s ample chest heaved with gut wrenching sobs. Billy dropped his napkin and knelt beside Marian, trying his best to comfort her and wishing he had finished breakfast before he looked over.
Finally, the sobbing slowed and Marian spoke.
“I’m sorry, Billy. I’m just really sad. I don’t think this is going to work out between us and I really love you, you know?”
“Why don’t you think this is going to work out?” Billy asked.
“I think your daughter hates me. I’m trying as hard as I can to make her like me. I don’t want to come between you and your only child. I think it’s better if we just end it now. I don’t want to get hurt any worse than I have
been.”
“She doesn’t hate you,” Billy said as the sobbing increased again. “It was mostly her friend Kitty who got out of hand. I don’t want to stop seeing you.”
“I don’t think we can go on the way we have been.”
“What do you mean?” Billy asked as Marian fled the kitchen and ended up standing by the overstuffed sofa in the living room with Billy lagging behind.
“I’m too old to just have flings. I need to know that you really love me Billy.”
“What will it take to convince you, Marian?” Billy asked.
“I want to get married, Billy,” Marian said as she smiled through her tears and began to undo Billy’s belt, unzip his pants, and put her hands inside Billy’s underwear. Billy tried to think but Marian continued to undress him, unbuttoning each button of his shirt and kissing his chest as she continued to stroke him. The time for thinking had passed as Billy began tearing Marian’s clothes off and pushed her down on the couch.
Chapter Nine
Brad Henry woke with a start as he had every morning since his ill-fated accident. Unsure where he was, Brad had to focus to realize it was Monday morning and he was a patient at Barnes Hospital. A 26 year old ironworker, Brad had recently celebrated becoming the father of a baby girl and now had to deal with life as a paraplegic after a 15 foot tumble off a downtown building under construction.
Brad looked out the window at Forest Park, a local point of interest first developed for the 1904 World’s Fair. Muted purple light poked through the massive trees, recalling images of druid statues from some old movie. When he was awake during this twilight, Brad usually felt hope he could make the new day a good one, but hope must have tumbled off that building with him because he hadn’t felt anything close to it since he fell.
His first act of the morning had always been jumping out of bed. Of course, now when that thought entered his mind, he realized those messages were no longer able to reach his legs and never would again.
In the past his wife, Jennifer, repeatedly told him he was hot. He felt his dark wavy hair and naturally tanned complexion complemented her long blond hair and pale skin. His expressive blue eyes, usually brimming with barely concealed joy, now oozed fear and trepidation in a tearful mix that gently rolled down his cheeks.
Brad desperately wanted to believe his injury wouldn’t destroy his life, but his pain felt too fresh, so he allowed his extreme sense of loss to dominate his thoughts. Denial, bargaining, and anger swirled around him, drowning out the voices urging him to believe he could overcome any obstacle.
Brad tried to go back to sleep, an easy escape from his unpleasant thoughts. He wanted to dream he was whole again, walking near the small lake behind his house. Unable to fall asleep, he decided to return to that secret place in his mind he had created to avoid reality. He looked at the huge trees in Forest Park again and decided to fly to one of the upper branches in the biggest tree, where he could perch and observe the world around him. A large barn owl landed next to him, sharing the branch and offering silent companionship.
Chapter Ten
Black clouds gathered in the distance and rain threatened as Roni pulled onto Highway 64 on her way to Barnes-Jewish Hospital to visit Brad Henry and his wife. Roni had just ended a cell phone conversation with Brad’s rookie adjuster who was already upset with Roni for refusing to make an emergency room visit immediately after the fall.
Roni felt such encounters were in the same class as ambulance chasing attorneys hanging around the emergency room handing out cards. She preferred to phone relatives several days later, explain her role, and set up a time to meet. Brad’s wife, Jennifer, had agreed to meet Roni in the surgical intensive care waiting room at 10 a.m.
Since Roni frequently traveled this route, she let her mind wander, focusing on her friend Kitty’s restlessness. Though it seemed better since her return from Alaska, Roni wondered whether Kitty might run away again if she felt stressed.
The case management/investigative company they started was doing well. They had joked about the inept private investigators they came in contact with and decided they could do better. They were right.
At peace with where life had taken her, Roni didn’t totally understand Kitty’s issues and maybe more importantly, wasn’t sure how to help her. Roni shook off her daydream, turned right into the underground parking garage across from Barnes Hospital, and parked near the escalator. She took the escalator up and walked through the glass-enclosed bridge that connected the garage to the main hospital.
The express elevators took her nonstop to the sixth floor surgical intensive care unit. Roni stepped into the waiting room and immediately spotted Jennifer Henry, easily identified because she was far and away the most anxious relative in the room.
It had been a week since Jennifer’s life had irrevocably changed. Large green eyes almost completely obscured by black circles of fatigue and apprehension had replaced any positive emotions that might have lived there before. Probably already thin, Jennifer Henry now had clothes hanging off her body as if she hadn’t eaten since Brad fell.
Roni approached tentatively and said. “Mrs. Henry, I’m Roni Edelin. I spoke with you on the phone.”
“Oh, right,” Jennifer said as she sprang out of her seat and extended her hand. “My husband’s brother, Dave, said he talked to you. He’s a lawyer. He’ll be helping us.”
“Yes, I’ve worked with Dave before,” Roni said. “Why don’t we sit?”
“That’s what Dave said,” Jennifer said as they sat down. “He said we could trust you; that you would help us get through this. I really need your help. I feel like I’m losing him.”
Huge tears rolled down Jennifer’s cheeks, emphasizing her despair. Roni smiled, took her hand, and said. “Tell me what’s going on and why you feel that way.”
“He’s off in another world half the time,” Jennifer said. “One that he likes a lot better than this one right now.”
“It’s going take all the courage you can muster to get through this,” Roni said. “Right now all your husband can see is what he’s lost. It’ll take awhile for him to realize life might be different but it will go on. I’ll be here for both of you every step of the way.”
“You’ve worked with other paraplegics?”
“Quite a few over the years,” Roni said. “I know you’re afraid and you have every right to be. I want you to understand what I do, because it’s important you agree with the goals. My job is to channel all his anger into a rehabilitation program that will challenge him to be all that he can be. There are going to be times when he’s probably going to hate me. I will not allow him to indulge in a big pity party. Anything he is capable of doing he will be expected to do. The biggest mistake you can make is to start doing everything for him. How do you feel about that?”
“I don’t know,” Jennifer said uncertainly. “Honestly, I guess I hadn’t really thought about it. I can’t get him to talk to me.”
“Good, I want you to be honest with me,” Roni said. “Your husband is going through all those early stages of grief. Brad needs support and hope. Sometime in the next week or two, if you agree, he’ll be transferred to a rehab facility. That’s where the real work begins. Are you on board with that?”
“Dave said to trust you so I will,” Jennifer said.
“Let’s get started,” Roni said. “I think it’s time you introduced me to your husband.”
Chapter Eleven
After a long day of writing reports and making phone calls, I scampered down my front hall, realizing I would have to hurry to change my clothes so I wouldn’t be late for my rescheduled first date with Jack Kyle. The online dating service I had joined was finally going to pay off. One of the most promising matches the computer had made, Jack Kyle responded to my e-mail and we had been exchanging messages for weeks. We had mutually agreed to take things to the next level and have dinner.
It had been a month since the great cow stare-down. Roni believed the dinner had been a sort o
f watershed event; she was convinced Billy might be very serious about Marian. While I’m out with Jack, Roni was supposed to be having a private dinner with Billy.
Shedding clothes as I made my way down the hall, I heard multiple mewling sounds emanating from my closet. I walked into the closet, turned the light on, and separated some of the clothes hanging on the rack. Six brand new calico kittens were trying to nudge each other out of the way for a better chance at one of Harley’s engorged teats.
“Wow, good job Harley,” I said as I bent down and stroked the new mother. “Hm, maybe the best revenge would be to take you and your new family back to the real Harley’s farm. You could all hide in the barn. If just one of you managed to drive him crazy, think what seven could accomplish.”
I changed clothes in record time, freshened my make-up, and slipped heels on one foot at a time as I ran down the hall. A pleasant scenario involving seven cats tormenting Harley flashed through my mind as I grabbed my keys, jumped in the car, and pulled away.
Random thoughts paraded through my mind while I drove to the restaurant. I had been a member of eLove.com for six months, but this was the first time I had agreed to meet anyone. Jack Kyle had described himself as a divorced middle-aged man looking for friendship. Nothing in our e-mail exchanges had set off my freak alarm.
I replayed in my mind again the day that everything came to a head and I fled to Alaska as I had at least a thousand times over the last couple of years. That day remained intensely liberating though riddled with a mother’s guilt, a perfect storm of ambivalence.
It had snowed heavily, causing the roads to be slick and dangerous. I received a frantic phone call from Ethan’s principal, Mr. Ferguson. He demanded I come to pick up Ethan, who had been involved in a fight in the gym. High school hadn’t changed much, I thought as I pulled into the parking lot.
Ten minutes later, a suspended, sullen Ethan sat beside me for the long, tense ride home. Seething and tired of Ethan’s teenage mood swings, I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white.
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