Buttons and Shame

by Penelope Sky

  A chill ran up my spine, and not the kind that Crow usually caused.

  His eyes roamed over my body in a sleazy way, eye-fucking me right where I stood. “You care about her so much, so take her place.”

  “You know I’m married to Crow.”

  “Exactly. That’s why you’re so valuable. I’d love to fuck another man’s wife.”

  I’d hate to imagine what Crow would do if he heard that. “I’m not a bargaining chip. I’ll give you cash for her.”

  He shook his head. “She’s not for sale. I won’t tell you again.”

  I had nothing better to offer since I refused to give up myself. Taking her place wouldn’t accomplish anything in the long run. Both of us deserved to be free, not be playthings to psychopaths like Tristan.

  He crossed his legs as he continued to stare me down. “The only reason why you’re safe right now is because Crow and Cane are great men to do business with. They make an excellent product, and they keep their mouths shut. However, I’m not gonna let you walk out of here without a scar next time, so make sure you don’t come back. Consider that to be your only warning.” He snapped his fingers and signaled to his henchmen to walk me out.

  One moved to grab my arm, but I dug my elbow into his side and made him stagger back. “I know the way.” I glared at the other guy, telling him he better not make the same mistake of touching me.

  He didn’t.

  When I landed in Rome, my phone immediately began to go off.

  Crow had figured it out.

  He probably came home and realized I wasn’t there. He checked his tracker and saw me traveling from France to Italy at a high speed. Within seconds, he probably deduced exactly what I’d done.

  And now he was pissed.

  I took the call as I walked through the airport. “I’m on my way home right now.”

  The silence over the line was absolutely terrifying. Sometimes what he didn’t say was more powerful than what he did say.

  “I’m just walking to the car. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  Still nothing. I couldn’t even hear him breathe.

  Now I was a little scared. I couldn’t recall a time when he was so angry he was speechless. When he exploded, I knew there would be fire, lava, and ash. “Crow?”

  Click.

  I kept the phone to my ear just in case I was mistaken with what I heard. But when I eventually got the dial tone, I knew it really happened. He’d never hung up on me before. It was the first time I actually wanted him to scream at me.

  I missed it.

  When I walked inside, I knew something was different. There was no smell of dinner cooking from the kitchen or a warm greeting from Lars. Some of the curtains were closed, so the place wasn’t filled with as much natural light. It was darker than I preferred, or maybe it was all in my head.

  Crow stood at the bottom of the stairs in the suit he wore to work. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he stared at me like his eyes were guns and my face was the target. I could see his tense shoulders shake slightly as he contained his rage.

  It was the first time I was truly scared of him. Even on my first night here, I felt safe. He would never do anything against my will, and he wasn’t the cruel type. But right now, I wasn’t sure who I was dealing with.

  I waited for him to speak first since he had the right, but nothing ever came out. I closed the distance between us, taking my time getting closer to him. The nearer his presence became, the more unnerved I felt. I always felt like I had the upper hand with Crow because he allowed me to have it. He respected my drive and my strength, but now he definitely wasn’t a fan. “I know you’re mad—”

  He lunged at me with lightning speed and grabbed me by the neck. He dug his fingers into my throat before he slapped me hard, so hard I stumbled backward.

  My hand went to my cheek, and I stared at him in shock.

  With only fury in his eyes, he came after me again and grabbed me by the back of the hair and forced my head back so I was forced to look him in the eye. He tugged on my hair harshly, yanking at my scalp. The ferocity in his eyes only grew as he breathed hard, directly into my face. “What the fuck were you thinking?” He tugged on my hair purposely to cause me pain. “You think you’re invincible, but you aren’t. You think you’re strong, but you’re just weak. You think you’re smart, but you’re a goddamn idiot.” Spit flew from his mouth as his face turned red.

  “I was just—”

  “You forfeited your right to speak when you put yourself in danger. You disrespected our marriage by making yourself vulnerable to a man known for raping and torturing slaves. I was a flight away and couldn’t have done a damn thing to save you. How dare you insult me like that?”

  He told me not to speak, but I did anyway. “I wanted to save Adelina—”

  “By risking your own life?” He released his hold and pushed me back. “How could you do this to me? You don’t think I’ve been through enough?” He moved toward me, forcing me to step back. “You think I’m not haunted by everything Bones has done to you? You don’t think that every day of my life I’m not scared that something is going to happen to my wife? My whole fucking world?” The vein throbbed in his forehead, and he looked like an executioner about to take me to the grave. “You. Betrayed. Me.”

  “I had to do something—”

  “I’ll never forgive you.” He shoved his finger in front of my face, shaking it like a man disciplining a child. “Not ever. I did what I could for Adelina and tried to figure out a plan, but nothing worked. It wasn’t like I ignored you.”

  “I know, but—”

  “Shut up.” He put his hand in my face. “I did what I could because I knew it was important to you. And this is how you repay me? He and his men could have done whatever they wanted to you, and you wouldn’t have been able to stop them. You think you’re powerful, but you lack strength as well as intelligence. If you had a brain in that thick skull of yours, you wouldn’t have been taken in the first place.”

  Ouch.

  “You pushed me too far this time. Too fucking far.”

  I fought the tears that burned in the back of my eyes. They weren’t from pain after the way he struck me. They were from the heartbreak his words caused. I knew all his rage stemmed from fear for my safety. When he couldn’t protect me, it drove him insane.

  “I don’t want to speak to you for the rest of the week. And you aren’t allowed to leave the estate. Consider yourself grounded.”

  Any other time, I would have fought tooth and nail against what he said. I’d refuse to let a man control me like that. But right now, we hung in a delicate balance. Crow was truly enraged, and I knew he had every right to be. So I kept my mouth shut because I deserved the punishment.

  He turned around and walked to the stairs, leaving me standing in the entryway. His shoulders were just as rigid as before, and he looked like he wanted to destroy his own house. When he reached the third floor and disappeared from sight, I finally let the tears escape my eyes.

  And I sobbed.

  23

  Adelina

  “What are you doing?” I walked into the bedroom and saw the duffel bags on the bed. His t-shirts and jeans were packed like he was going somewhere. The other bag contained some of my things.

  Cane zipped up the bag and lifted it over his shoulder. “We’re taking a short trip. Pack anything else you need.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the doorframe. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

  “Just get your things, alright?” He walked out with his bag over his shoulder.

  I had no idea why he was so distant with me when we had been getting along great. We’d been traveling all over Italy looking at the tourist attractions like a couple on vacation. The sex had been great, and the conversation had been even better.

  Then he flipped on me again.

  I grabbed a few extra toiletries and a jacket, just in case it was cold wherever we were hea
ded. I met him in the entryway, and he grabbed my bag and stuffed it into the trunk. “Can you tell me how long we’ll be gone for?”

  “Two days, max.”

  Then this probably wasn’t a luxurious vacation. Maybe he had to travel for work, and he decided to take me along. It would explain why he was unwilling to answer questions. With his job, everything was confidential.

  We drove to the airport and checked in for a red-eye flight. Cane had all the forged foreign papers to get me to travel, and I wasn’t sure how he pulled off getting me a passport. But then again, he was a criminal. I shouldn’t be surprised.

  When Cane handed over the tickets to the gate agent, I saw the details.

  South Carolina.

  My hometown.

  When we were in the air at a steady altitude, everyone was asleep in their seats. We were in first class, so we had more leg room and privacy. The constant hum of the engines played in the background and drowned out the occasional shift of someone in their seat.

  Cane watched the TV on the wall in front of him with a scotch in his cupholder. He hadn’t made small talk with me since we left the house, and he didn’t seem tired either even though it was late.

  “Why are we going to South Carolina?” I finally asked because I needed to know.

  He drank from his glass, taking his time and not looking at me. He licked his lips when he was finished and placed the glass in the cupholder. “We’re just stopping by.”

  “By why are we going?” I pressed. It couldn’t be a coincidence that we were traveling to the place where I grew up, where my parents still lived.

  He glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention to us and the flight attendant was nowhere nearby. “You can’t call your parents because it’s too risky. Phones are tapped, and Tristan has eyes and ears everywhere. But if we see them in person and your parents don’t tell the cops, that should work.”

  I heard everything he said, but I couldn’t believe it. I was on the way to seeing my parents again, something I thought would never happen. I could hug my father again. I could kiss my mother. I could tell them what happened to me so they wouldn’t live the rest of their lives not knowing. It was exactly what I wanted, something that had been haunting me every single day. “Cane…I don’t know what to say.”

  He drank from his glass again, the ice cubes hitting his lips. “Just make sure they don’t tell the cops. That’s all I ask.”

  “I will, but you’re still taking a risk.”

  His eyes turned back to the TV.

  It was so compassionate that I didn’t know what to say. I knew he wasn’t like the other men I encountered, but I had no idea what kind of heart he possessed. He’d seen the look on my face at dinner and knew this was something that truly bothered me. “Thank you…”

  “My sister was taken from me… It was really hard. Trying to sleep at night imagining how she was being tortured was brutal. It consumed me, and when she eventually died, it was actually a relief. Her suffering was over, and I didn’t have to think about it anymore. Your parents should have some closure, some peace.”

  My eyes welled up with tears, but I didn’t let them fall.

  “I can’t let you go. You know that.”

  I nodded.

  “So don’t try to run. I’ll have to do things you won’t enjoy.”

  I knew the threat wasn’t idle. “You’re taking a risk to do this for me. I would never betray you.” Cane had treated me well the second I was in his captivity. He treated me like a human being rather a piece of property. He could have hurt me, broken me, but he never did any of those things. I was treated with respect, with dignity. I shouldn’t be grateful because I was still a prisoner, but I was.

  Cane nodded. “I know.”

  It was evening when we arrived. We rented a car and drove to the hotel just a few miles away from the house where I grew up. We’d slept on the plane, but we were both lethargic. It would be easy to go to sleep, but no amount of exhaustion could diminish anxiety.

  “Do you want to sleep then stop by in the morning?” he asked.

  I sat in the passenger seat and stared at the hotel. We hadn’t checked in yet, and our bags were still in the trunk. I wasn’t sure if I could wait until morning. I wanted to see their faces. “I don’t think I can wait.”

  Cane didn’t argue with me. “Doing it at night might be easier anyway.” He typed in the address to his GPS then got on the road. I’d never told him the address, so he must have hired someone to figure it out.

  We drove through the darkness with the radio off. I stared at the tall oak trees that we passed on the way to the house. They were difficult to see after the sun went down, but the streetlights lit the bark and the leaves.

  My heart pounded harder and quicker the closer we got. My parents were probably in bed but not sleeping, worried about me. My dad always had a hard time sleeping at night, so he must be an insomniac now. He usually had a glass of milk and a cookie around three in the morning. Claimed it helped him sleep.

  When we turned onto my block, I couldn’t keep my breathing steady. I breathed deeper and harder, the anxiety setting my nerves on fire. A weight formed in the pit of my stomach, and I felt nauseated. I rested my fingertips against my bottom lip, but they kept shaking.

  Cane pulled up to the curb in front of the house then killed the engine. He sat there silently as he waited for me to get out.

  The door was exactly as I remembered. The flowers that used to fill the flower beds had wilted and died, probably because no one was taking care of them anymore. Even though everything looked the same, there wasn’t any life left in the property. They’d given up the moment I disappeared.

  “I’ll wait here,” Cane whispered. “Take all the time you need.” He placed his hand on top of mine and gave me a gentle squeeze.

  “You sure you don’t want to come inside?”

  He shook his head. “Your parents aren’t going to want to see me, Bellissima.”

  “How do you know they won’t call the cops?”

  He stared at the dimly lit porch in the front. “I trust you.”

  I took a deep breath before I finally opened the door. It was a dream to be home again, but since I was going to leave again in a few hours, it was short-lived. In a few weeks, I would be returned to Tristan, back to his torturous tactics and unaffectionate nicknames. It would be easy for me to betray Cane by having them call the cops, but I couldn’t do that.

  Cane didn’t deserve it.

  I rang the doorbell because I thought they wouldn’t hear my knock. I could feel Cane stare at me from his seat in the car. His look drilled into my back as he watched me. I could feel his intensity prickle my skin everywhere.

  Footsteps sounded on the hardwood floor as they both came to the entryway. I heard a pause as they looked through the peephole, staring at my face in the dark. Then the door whipped open, the light from the hallway displaying my face.

  My mom was in the front, her face contorted into a million different emotions at once. Tears coated her eyes, creating a film that shone under the light. Her mouth was open like she was going to scream, but a sound never came out.

  My dad gripped my mom’s shoulders like he needed something to hold on to, something to keep him steady.

  I knew they couldn’t believe what they were seeing. It seemed like a dream. “It’s me…”

  Mom’s breathing hitched as she cupped my face with her palms. Her warm skin pressed against my cheeks, and she released a quiet sob. “Baby…”

  My hands wrapped around her wrists. “Mommy…”

  We sat in the living room and drank coffee and ate cookies Mom had in the cookie jar. I told them the story of what happened and excluded unnecessary details they didn’t need to know. They knew I’d been trafficked, so they knew what happened to me…even if I didn’t explicitly say it.

  “You’re home now,” Dad said. “That’s all that matters.”

  Telling them I had to leave again would be heartbre
aking. “I have to go back, actually…”

  My mom’s face paled.

  “The man I’ve been loaned to brought me here so I could see you guys…but he has to take me back.”

  “Who is this man?” Mom demanded. “We can call the cops right now and—”

  “No cops,” I said quickly. “I hate this as much as you do, but we can’t call the cops. I can’t get him in trouble.”

  “You don’t owe him anything,” Dad said. “He’s brainwashed you.”

  “He’s treated me really well,” I said calmly. “He’s been the nicest man I’ve encountered since I was captured. He knew how heartbroken I was that you guys never knew what happened to me. He knew I couldn’t call you because my captor would figure it out, so he brought me here in person. He’s not as bad as you think.”

  “Well, who’s the man who’s taken you?” Dad pressed. “We can give that info to the police—”

  “I can’t do that either. They still have Lizzie…”

  Mom’s eyes fell in sadness. “Her parents are just as devastated as we are.”

  “If I don’t cooperate, they’ll kill her,” I whispered. “I can’t let that happen. I know this situation is terrible, but there’s no way out of it. But Cane brought me here to see you. So at least we have this…”

  It took me a long time to convince my parents to accept the situation as it was. The idea of letting me go back to that nightmare was difficult, but after hours of going around and around, they finally agreed to let me go.

  With tears in their eyes.

  My parents walked me to the door just as the sun began to rise. Mom spotted the black car at the curb and Cane sitting inside. “Is that him?”

  I nodded. “His name is Cane.”

  “I want to meet him,” she said. “I want to see the man who brought you to us.”

  I turned to the window and met his gaze. I waved him over with my hand.

  Cane rubbed the scuff of his jaw before he cooperated. He probably didn’t want anything to do with my parents, but he wouldn’t deny me anything that night. He got out, tall and muscular, and headed up the path to the front door. Dressed all in black and looking handsome, he walked up to my parents and looked them in the eye.