The Sisters of the Winter Wood

by Rena Rossner

  “Why are we here?”

  “When Dovid left yesterday, I went outside with him for a bit. I didn’t think that we were out for that long.” I take her hand in mine. “When I came back inside you had collapsed and there were feathers all around you. Do you remember anything?”

  Laya purses her lips. “No. I was thirsty, and my throat hurt. The last thing I remember was feeling dizzy.” Laya shrugs. “I feel better now.”

  “I’m glad you’re feeling better,” I say. “I think that we should stay here for a bit. There are things I need to tell you.” I sound like my mother. If only she were here right now … she’d know what to do … “The Meisels have offered us hospitality until you feel back to yourself.”

  “No!” Laya squeaks. “I can’t. I mean, we can’t. I mean … what about …?”

  “Dovid says he’ll take care of the animals and check on the house. And anyway, I think it’s better that we’re far away from there right now.”

  “No! Liba, I have to go back to the woods. I simply have to.” Laya sits up suddenly and is the most animated I’ve seen her for a long time.

  “Why? To meet Fedir again? I forbid it. You should hear the things his brothers said to me this morning.”

  “You can’t forbid me anything. You’re not my mother.”

  “You are not seeing that boy anymore. He’s a goy, Laya. A goy! What would Mami and Tati say?”

  “It’s not your place to approve.” Laya starts coughing, and I suddenly feel remorse for speaking harshly.

  I put my arm around her and kiss her forehead. “I’ll get you something to drink,” I say, and go back to the kitchen.

  I sit with Laya after that, trying to get her to drink tea, but she lies on the couch listlessly, staring out the front window at the falling snow. I don’t bring up Fedir again. I stroke her hair and stay beside her.

  Soon it’s time to eat lunch. Laya sits at the table with us, propped up with pillows and covered in blankets. Lunch is hot borsht with meat. I savor the thick, tender chunks of meat, the tangy beets, the smooth broth. I could get used to this, I think, and glance over at Dovid. I like the idea of a warm cozy home like this, in a town. As much as I love our woods, maybe it’s not so good to be so isolated. The people in town that I thought were gossipy yentas are mostly nice people. They mistrust what they don’t understand, just like I do …

  I glance over at Laya. Sun slants on to warm her face, illuminating just how pale she looks. And I see that she eats nothing. I shake my head because it’s clear to me in the light of the afternoon sun that this house, this family is just another thing in our lives that’s too good to last.

  After lunch, Laya goes back to the living room and lies down. I get her settled on the sofa.

  “I want to go home,” she whispers, twisting her hair and looking down at the hand-stitched quilts that cover her lap and shoulders.

  “I know you do, and I promise we will. Soon,” I say, stroking the fine hairs on her arm absently.

  Laya gets more agitated. “I don’t like to be caged, Liba. I don’t like to be inside so much. I need fresh air.”

  “But you’re not well, Layoosh. You have to rest and get better. I don’t think it’s good for you to be out there in the cold.”

  She shakes her head back and forth, and twists her hair again, faster now. “Everything hurts,” she whispers. “And what if … what if I try to fly, Liba? What if my wings grow?”

  I swallow hard. “I’m here, Laya. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen. You can control it, I promise. I didn’t think I could … but I can, more and more now.”

  “Have you … changed? Have you really turned all the way?”

  “No, not yet, but I’ve come close. And I was scared before, but when it happened—it felt good actually. Kind of freeing.”

  “That’s what I want to feel,” she says under her breath.

  “I know. And you will. But you have to get better first. Laya-bell, I need to tell you something important.”

  “You’ve finally found someone? I know that already,” she says lazily.

  “Listen to me!” I’m suddenly angry at her and I don’t know why. Why does everything come so easy to her but I take ages to even know my own heart? “I’m supposed to go meet Fedir now.”

  “You’re what?”

  “Fedir. I’m supposed to meet him.”

  “Why are you meeting my Fedir?”

  “Because you need to get better.”

  “Fedir can make me better.”

  “Yes, well, I know that’s what you think, but frankly, I don’t want that boy anywhere near you. I will suffer his presence if it means I can figure out how to help you feel better.”

  “Why is Fedir any different than Dovid?”

  “What do you mean?” I wrinkle my brow.

  “You know that Tati won’t approve of Dovid. Well, he won’t approve of Fedir either. What’s the difference?”

  “The difference is that Fedir is a goy who says nasty things about Jews! How could you like someone like that?”

  She shrugs. “Some of the things he says are true.”

  “Laya, how could you say that?” I put my hand on her forehead. “You’re not well. Do you hear yourself? You’re a Jew!”

  I remember Mami’s words … Laya’s father was a swan, like me. But Mami converted, and Laya was raised Jewish. It shouldn’t matter … should it?

  “Tati won’t approve of anyone,” Laya says. “I might as well choose who I want.”

  For a moment, I envy her clarity, but I say, “It doesn’t work like that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because there’s a chance that Tati will approve of Dovid … maybe he’ll come around …”

  “Mami was a goy. She converted.”

  “You think Fedir will convert for you?”

  She shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t see why it matters.”

  I think about the way that Fedir spat at me. The hate I saw in Miron’s eyes. “I love you, Laya. I want you to be happy … but this … it’s not the way. It’s not our way.”

  “Maybe I want a different way …”

  My eyes fill with tears.

  Laya puts her head on a pillow and languidly stretches out her limbs on the sofa. “All Fedir has to do is kiss me. Then I’ll feel better.”

  “You cannot be healed by a kiss, and you cannot live on love or infatuation or whatever this thing is—a sick obsession. That is certainly something you’ve read about in fairy tales.”

  “No, not in a book. Mami told me.”

  I snap to attention. “Mami told you what?”

  “Stories.”

  “What kind of stories?”

  “Oh … this and that … things.”

  “She told you that you can be healed by a kiss? She read you stories, you mean.”

  “Same thing. Fairy tale, shmairy tale. It’s all true, you know.”

  I put my hand on Laya’s forehead. “And you’re burning up again. Rest. I’m going to go talk to your loverboy who thinks he can feed you with kisses alone,” I say as I shake my head. I will never love anyone if this is what it will reduce me to. Maybe what I feel for Dovid is also a fever of sorts, and it will pass. I kiss Laya’s forehead. “I’ll be back soon.”

  “Kiss him for me!”

  “I will not.”

  “Good. Don’t. He’s mine.”

  I sigh and make my way out of the house via the kitchen.

  “Where are you going?” Dovid stops me.

  “Out.”

  “I’ll come with you.”

  “No, no. I’m just getting some … herbs … some spices from the market to make Laya tea.”

  “We have spices in the cellar: chamomile and thyme, rosemary and lavender … come,” Dovid says, taking my hand in his. “I’ll show you.” There is a wicked look in his eye and his hand is warm in mine, but I can’t follow him. I have to go meet Fedir.

  “I’ll only be a few minutes. It’s something unusual I need. I�
��m positive you don’t have it in your cellar.”

  He grins at me with a glint in his eye. “Why don’t we go check and see?”

  I close my eyes and shake my head. “I can’t.”

  “Come on, Liba …”

  “In your house? With your mother here, and your brothers and father?”

  “The cellar is dark …”

  “And you’re being silly. I have to go.”

  I duck out the door before he has a chance to follow.

  I meet Fedir at the back of a tavern. He leads me into an alleyway.

  He looks both ways and cocks his head as if he’s listening for something.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  “Nothing,” he whispers. “Just making sure that we’re alone and no one’s listening.”

  “Well, are we?”

  “Yes, so it seems. For now.”

  “Are you expecting someone?”

  “There’s always someone listening.”

  “My mother says that.”

  “Smart woman.”

  I’m getting frustrated with this conversation already. What does my sister see in him?

  “You asked me to meet you here,” I say. “Are you going to tell me how you can help heal my sister? Because if not, I have more important things to do.”

  “I’m the only one who can heal her,” he says in a way that’s almost sincere, and that gives me pause.

  Still, I roll my eyes at him. “That’s what she says too. Now, can you give me a practical cure? How can you heal her? With what herbs or tinctures?”

  He shakes his head. “I mean it. I hold the only cure.”

  “Because you’re the one who made her sick to begin with?” I raise a disbelieving eyebrow at him.

  “Something like that.”

  “What did you do to her?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Love always is. Explain it to me.” I’m not letting him weasel his way out of this.

  “I can’t.”

  “So I’ll report you to the authorities.”

  He smiles. “And they will find nothing. You think they will believe you over me?”

  “Yes, actually I do. What about what you did to Jennike? I know you had something to do with that.”

  “No. You suspect. There is no proof.” He cocks his head at me and smiles again, slyly.

  “Are you saying you did it?”

  “Did what?”

  “Got her sick? Kidnapped her … or worse?”

  “Do you want your sister to get better or not?” I can see he’s losing his patience.

  I take a deep breath. “How do I know you won’t make her sicker?”

  “You’re just going to have to trust me.” Fedir grins, his green eyes holding worlds of malice.

  “I don’t trust you at all.”

  “Well, you’ll just have to take your chances.”

  “I have one question for you.” I put my hands on my hips and take a step forward. “Do you love her?”

  Fedir blanches.

  “It’s not a difficult question: yes or no?”

  “I care for your sister very much.”

  “That’s not a yes. I bet you care for all the girls you trick and woo, right before you break their hearts. Do you know that my parents will never approve? If she ends up with you, they will sit shiva; they will disown her. It will break their hearts, but that is what they’ll do because it’s our tradition. And they’ll regret it for the rest of their lives. I’ve seen the heartbreak that such a thing causes, and it’s not pretty.”

  “It’s not like that … Laya is …”

  “Laya is fragile. Laya is trusting. Laya is not meant for you.”

  “Laya is meant for me.” Fedir’s voice suddenly has a hard edge.

  “So tell me you love her, because if you’re going to take my sister away from her family, you need to understand what it means. You need to understand that she will be cast out. If she ends up with you, there is no going back. She will be dead to us.” The words make my teeth ache.

  He curses under his breath. “What is it with you Jews?”

  “Do not talk to me like that.”

  “She’s different from you. She looks different; she acts different.” He sniffs the air around me. “You are not the same at all.”

  I frown and back away. How does he know? How can he tell?

  “I love your sister,” he says as if he’s admitting it to himself. “I didn’t expect to. You’re right that my brothers and I enjoy the game. We like to jump from town to town, from girl to girl. We spread cheer in every village we visit. We give people what they want—delicious produce and the truth about the cancer that lives among them. But I feel for Laya what I have felt for no creature. If her family does not love her and will cast her out, it’s clear to me what I must do. You really are a despicable people if this is how you treat the ones you love.”

  I recoil. He thinks his words are true, but he doesn’t understand what it means to be a Jew, the way we protect ourselves and each other, how we ensure Jewish continuity by marrying within our faith. He doesn’t know we honor the memory of the many Jews who died al kiddush Hashem—sanctifying God’s name—in order to preserve our traditions. He doesn’t know that Jews always come out battered, bruised, but still triumphant. Because we believe in God, in community, in compassion, and in the power of our people to endure. His words hurt, but they don’t scratch the surface of what I am, what we are.

  “Thank you for your time, but I don’t think we need your help anymore,” I say. “I will take care of my sister. Please … just stay away from her. She doesn’t understand that she is going to lose everything …”

  “No.” He shakes his head. “It’s too late for that. Laya will be mine. And if you get in the way, if you get in my way … strange things have been known to happen to girls in the woods.”

  My hands start to shake and I make fists to stop the claws I know will come.

  “No human remedy will heal her,” he calls out as he walks away.

  Something in his voice gives me pause. “Wait!”

  Fedir keeps walking—or more like slinking—along the alleyway with a grace that actually doesn’t look human at all.

  “Fedir! Wait. Come back. Explain!” I chase after him and put a hand on his back to stop him.

  He turns around and stares at my hand on his shoulder.

  “You lost your chance.” He sniffs my hand, then licks it.

  I snatch my hand away.

  “Hmm …” he says, licking his lips. “Maybe not so human after all.”

  “What … what are you even talking about?” He doesn’t know what I am—does he?

  Fedir turns around and with impossible speed he pushes me hard up against the brick of the narrow alley. “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

  I close my eyes as I feel the bricks dig into my back. I clench my teeth just as I feel them get sharper. I gasp for breath and close my eyes. No. Not here. I grasp at the air for calm.

  He shoves me harder and I feel myself start to lose control. My fingertips are tingling, every pore of my body aches.

  Fedir sniffs the air and grins.

  I breathe in hard, fighting for control. “Please. Can’t you just undo what you did to her?”

  He lets me go with a sigh. “You don’t know how much I wish I could.”

  “What?” I’m breathing hard and trembling with fear. I rub my arms. “What does that mean?”

  “I made a mistake,” he spits. “I never should have touched her. I’m paying dearly for that mistake now. My brothers don’t understand. But I care a great deal about her …”

  I look at him and it seems as though there are tears in his eyes.

  “Just bring her to me,” he says. “I need to see her again.”

  “I don’t trust you.”

  “If you want to save your sister, you’ll have to,” he says. “I need to see her—alone. If anyone else is with you, or with her
, I won’t come.”

  I let out a breath. “Fine. Just once. One chance to fix this mess. That’s all I’m giving you.”

  “Bring her back to the cottage. I’ll wait for you there.”

  “Wait, no! But …” And before I can respond I see Fedir’s body contort. He crouches down on all fours and suddenly his skin turns into tabby fur. His head grows smaller, his body shrinks, and he transforms into a cat and jumps from the ground up to a window ledge. He looks down at me, meows playfully, then leaps up to the roof of one of the homes that line the alleyway.

  My blood runs cold.

  I turn and run back to the Meisels’ house as fast as my legs can carry me.

  58

  Laya

  I lie back down to rest.

  I’m so tired and weak.

  I close my eyes

  and then I see him.

  The swan from the rooftop,

  from the tree,

  from my dreams.

  His hair is white-gold,

  and his body

  looks like cream.

  He is young,

  about my age perhaps.

  No, older.

  Pro shcho vy? I whisper.

  My hand

  goes to my mouth.

  What language

  am I speaking?

  His eyes are black orbs,

  soft and kind.

  Like mirrors.

  Reflected back at me,

  I see a swan, elegant

  in white and gold,

  with an orange beak

  and soft black eyes.

  And I know

  that it is me

  reflected in his eyes.

  Atop the head

  of the swan

  there is a crown—

  it looks like it’s made

  of dew and diamonds.

  I blink, and the image

  is gone. He nods

  and tips his chin

  in my direction

  as if to say,

  That is you.

  That is your future.

  That is what

  you are destined

  to become.

  Koroleva, he calls me.

  59

  Liba

  When I get back to the Meisels’ home, Dovid is in the shop with his father. He sees me walk past and rushes out from behind the counter to open the door. “Liba! Wait!” He follows me from the shop into the house. “Did you get what you were looking for?”