The Sisters of the Winter Wood

by Rena Rossner

  “What are you doing? Why are you out here?” Dovid says.

  I tug the pistol out of my waistband. “Joining you.”

  “Liba! Put that down. Go back inside! Do you even know how to shoot that thing? What if they come here and see you! They could shoot you on sight!”

  I shake my head. “No. This is my fight too. Maybe it’s even my fault. I shouldn’t have gone to the funeral. I will stand here beside you and defend Dubossary.”

  “Liba, this is madness. You’ll be killed.”

  “Then leave. Go back and protect your own home. I can do this by myself.”

  “You’ve both lost your minds,” Shmulik says. “Get inside, both of you. I’ll watch the door.”

  Dovid and I go back inside.

  “What don’t you understand, Liba?” Dovid says. “They killed Jews in Kishinev who had nothing to do with any of this—just because they were Jews. Do you have a death wish?”

  I am stronger than you know, I want to say. I can protect you. I open my mouth to say something, to try to explain, because it’s about time that I finally tell him the truth.

  But then we hear rustling on the roof. I look up, my heart racing, expecting swans—but it’s Laya I see.

  “Laya! What are you doing?”

  She has the skylight open. She sways on her feet and grabs the open window for support, then rights herself, and climbs the rest of the way out onto the roof.

  70

  Laya

  I know what

  I have to do.

  This is

  my only chance.

  I have to fly.

  Maybe the swan

  is out there;

  maybe he can

  show me how.

  Liba follows me—

  she is up

  on the roof

  now too.

  Laya, this is crazy.

  Come back down,

  she says.

  What? I can’t

  get dressed?

  I can’t

  get up?

  I can’t climb

  up onto the roof

  if I want?

  I’m sick

  of being sick,

  I say.

  And you can’t

  keep me here

  anymore

  with promises

  that never

  come true!

  I know

  my words hurt,

  but that is

  my intention.

  I must save

  my sister.

  And this is

  the only way.

  You’re barely steady

  on your feet! Liba says.

  This is dangerous.

  Please … come back inside!

  No! I say.

  You’ve held me

  captive.

  You fed me

  poison,

  to make me weak,

  to make me dizzy,

  to make me sleep.

  Fedir told me.

  I’m leaving.

  I’m going

  to the one place

  where I feel safe

  and happy.

  The one place

  where I feel good

  and warm

  and well fed

  and sated.

  Laya, my sister says,

  you aren’t talking sense.

  Sense? I laugh.

  Funny you should talk

  about sense

  when you lied to me.

  You said

  he’d come for me.

  I thought

  maybe he was

  held up,

  maybe he couldn’t

  make it.

  I would never doubt

  my sister Liba,

  my sister

  who always does

  everything right.

  I feel weak.

  My skin prickles

  with sweat,

  a sheen of moisture,

  everywhere.

  My back aches;

  my legs feel weak.

  I thrust my arms up high,

  reaching for sky.

  My arms arc up

  and down again.

  I feel nauseous.

  I crouch down

  gasping for breath;

  every bone

  in my body

  feels like

  it’s going to crack.

  Dovid? I hear Liba say,

  but she is far

  far away.

  Did she drink

  something? she asks him.

  Did she eat something?

  Nothing I saw … he says.

  Ha! I cackle.

  He lies too!

  You are made

  for each other.

  Liars! Both of you.

  I will get

  out of your way

  so you can have

  this house

  all to yourselves.

  That’s what

  you wanted

  all along—

  to get rid

  of me,

  to poison me

  with all those teas

  that you prepared.

  The pain is too much.

  Everything hurts.

  I start to cry.

  I need him,

  I say to them,

  Don’t deny me

  the happiness

  that you’ve found.

  I will die

  if I don’t see Fedir

  again.

  I don’t care

  anymore

  what Mami

  and Tati

  will think.

  Liba reaches out

  and tries

  to take me

  in her arms.

  But I don’t want her

  touching me.

  I shriek, but it comes out

  more like a honk.

  I try to pry

  her arms off mine.

  I flap and flail

  and lash out

  at her, but my hands

  are not hands

  anymore;

  my fingers

  don’t work

  like they should.

  Liba lets go

  and I lunge

  for the edge.

  You are not

  my sister

  anymore,

  I spit out.

  I take a step

  off the roof

  and jump.

  I start to fall,

  but the air catches me

  and in one last

  rack of pain

  my arms become wings,

  my nose a beak,

  my feet webbed,

  already tucked

  beneath me

  ready for flight.

  I flap my white arms—

  my wings!

  And take off

  through the woods.

  I bare my long neck

  for the branches

  that arc above me

  sometimes crashing

  into trees,

  sometimes soaring

  high above them.

  I didn’t know

  that I could move

  like this

  but the air

  guides me.

  I am a sacrifice,

  I tell the moonlight,

  and the sky.

  I will save Liba.

  Her life for mine.

  No matter

  what it takes.

  In the closing

  eye of night,

  I’m finally free.

  I imagine myself

  strobe-lit; the stars

  are lanterns held aloft.

  The forest beats for me;

  I feel connected to it

  even as I rise

  above the trees.

  My blood runs in

  its veins. The sap

  runs in my veins.

  The tre
es call for my blood

  and I answer their call.

  I will save

  our town.

  I’ve had dreams

  of trees like living things,

  my arms like branches,

  my fingers turned to vines,

  my back growing leaves

  like feathers, forming

  verdant wings.

  I will become one with this forest

  and Fedir will guide me,

  his lips my compass.

  He will quench my thirst;

  he will hold me in his arms.

  If I go to him,

  perhaps they will leave

  Dubossary alone.

  The swan didn’t come.

  Only Fedir can help me now.

  I will find out

  who killed Jennike

  and Mikhail.

  I will clear his name

  and Liba’s too.

  It is the only way.

  I have brought this on us all.

  Because I didn’t

  tell the truth

  of what I saw.

  It is the last thing

  I can do.

  The only thing.

  71

  Liba

  Seven paces wide and nine paces long.

  I trace the width and length of the living room again and again.

  Twelve paces make a circle.

  I feel like a caged beast.

  I thought that Dovid saw her turn, that I would need to tell him everything, but he just saw her fall. He ran around to the back of the house, thinking he’d find her broken on the ground, but she was gone. I said that she landed on her feet and ran off. If he saw the swan flying above us, he didn’t make the connection. Why should he? It makes no sense. None of what I am, what we are, makes any sense at all.

  And so I pace. Alone with my thoughts. Should I go after her? Should I stay here? Should I wait outside with Dovid for the men I know will come, hungry for my blood? Should I prepare her bed for when she comes back again, still heartsick and cold, hungry and wild, and without him.

  How can you trust a man—any man? I wonder. This one just keeps disappointing her. She pines for him endlessly, but he leaves her unsated, thirsty, a shadow of herself.

  And yet Dovid is here for me. Dovid doesn’t leave my side. Dovid watches me pace, concern in his eyes. He gets me to drink. He makes me food to eat. He holds me and lets me cry on his shoulder as he strokes my long black hair. He tries to get me to sit, to stop, to breathe, to calm myself, to stop this frenzy of fretting, to soothe my agitation.

  Perhaps there are different breeds of men. What separates one from the other?

  I feel the cold trail of one tear, and another. And in an instant, Dovid is beside me again. His warm arms surround me. “Hush, love, don’t cry again. There’s nothing you can do. She made her choice. We all make choices.”

  “My parents will be devastated,” I say. “This will break their hearts …”

  “I know,” he says. “But there really is nothing you can do …”

  Then it hits me. The swans, Liba. The swans. You can call them. There is something I can do. And it’s better than staying here like a caged beast with an endless cramping in my gut.

  I owe her this.

  72

  Laya

  I cross the pine glade

  into the clearing.

  It has taken

  everything I have

  to keep flying.

  I am weak and covered

  in scratches and scrapes.

  I see the clearing

  up ahead

  but I don’t know

  how to land.

  I crash to the ground

  with a thud.

  Everything hurts.

  I’m bruised

  and broken.

  But my body

  is human again.

  I hear something.

  I flit my eyes open

  and look up.

  Fedir …

  He takes me

  in his arms.

  He kisses me

  and I feel alive again.

  Revived.

  I latch on

  to his lips

  and start to suck

  hungrily.

  I bite down

  and taste blood

  and it is so good

  and sweet.

  Everything buzzes

  and tingles.

  I feel better

  instantly.

  And I know

  that I did

  the right thing.

  He will take me

  to the lodge

  and I will find

  some answers.

  I’m so glad you came,

  he whispers.

  I waited for you, I say.

  Why didn’t you come?

  There were others there …

  He shakes his head.

  Others? I say.

  I don’t understand.

  I wanted you alone

  with no interruptions, he says.

  I thought

  that you’d forgotten, I say.

  I could never forget you.

  His eyes shine.

  But now you’re here!

  Now we can

  be together forever.

  Yes! I say. Yes,

  that’s what I want too!

  He takes me

  through the clearing

  and to the fire circle

  before the Hovlin lodge.

  You come willingly? he asks.

  I do. It was only Liba

  that held me back, I answer.

  You wish to be mine? he says.

  Forever. Only you, you you, I say.

  I smash my lips against his.

  I feel his brothers gathering

  around us.

  Fedir breaks the kiss.

  He puts me down.

  He takes my hand

  and turns

  to all his brothers.

  Behold! With all of you

  as witnesses,

  I hereby pledge to wed Laya

  in three days’ time.

  What? I say.

  Everything happens so fast

  I’m not sure I understand.

  I think I just agreed

  to be his wife?

  You will be my Queen,

  he says.

  I start to laugh—

  it’s absurd.

  Queen?

  Queen of what?

  The forest?

  The air?

  The orchard?

  Fedir leads me away.

  I can’t stop laughing.

  Hush, Laya, hush, he says

  but everything is funny.

  He leads me to a cabin—

  a small one—

  it smells like home.

  The bed is soft;

  I sink into it.

  He lies beside me.

  I press my lips

  to his again.

  He touches me

  and I feel

  more alive

  than I’ve felt

  in days.

  My toes tingle

  so much I laugh.

  It tickles,

  this feeling of him

  and me

  alone in bed—

  oh my, alone

  alone

  alone

  I turn to wrap

  my arms around him,

  but he is by the door.

  He whispers, Rest, my love,

  just rest. I will be

  back for you.

  Stay here.

  Do not leave

  the cabin.

  I have things

  that I must do.

  But wait! I say.

  Where are you going?

  But he is gone.

  When I get up

  to go after him,

  to find the evidence

  my sister needs

/>   to prove her innocence,

  the door is locked.

  I’ve exchanged

  one cage

  for another.

  73

  Liba

  I put my coat on, and my boots, and take my father’s weapons with me—both blades, the gun—and the blood-stained feather Mami gave me. I must call the swans.

  “Liba, this is madness—you can’t go out there. They’re looking for you,” Dovid says.

  I hear what he’s saying to me, what he continues to say, but it’s not something I can hear right now. “There’s something I have to do.”

  “I can’t let you go out there.”

  “If it was one of your brothers, and you knew that you could save them, would you go?”

  “Yes, in a normal situation, but not if people were out there looking for me, accusing me of murder!”

  “She’s the only family I have left. I promised my parents I’d take care of her!”

  “She made her choice. There’s only so much you can do …” He shakes his head. “How do you think she would feel if they caught you on your way to find her, or help her, and you ended up in jail … or worse …”

  “She’s my sister. I would lay down my life for her.”

  “That’s exactly what you’re doing if you go out tonight.”

  “Then so be it.”

  “You’re impossible!” Dovid says.

  “I have to do this alone,” I say.

  “No. I’m coming with you. Wherever you go, I go.”

  I huff in frustration. “Okay, fine,” I say, but really I have to get away from him. I need to call the swans.

  We walk out of the cabin.

  “We’re going after Laya,” I tell Shmulik.

  “You’re crazy, both of you,” he says. He looks at Dovid. “Your father will have my head.”

  “I’m not letting her go alone.”

  He takes my hand and we set off.

  We arrive at the old oak tree without encountering anyone. That alone makes me worry. Why are the woods so quiet? So still? I let go of his hand. Something feels off. The air is hazy … I rub my eyes and suddenly I see we’re in an orchard. But that’s not possible. The trees around us are heavy with jewel-like fruit. Is this what Laya saw that day?

  “Dovid, do you see fruit in the trees?”

  “No, why do you ask?”

  “Wait for me here, and if I don’t return within the hour, go for help.”

  “No! Liba, I’m not letting you go ahead without me.”

  “Please, Dovid, please! I beg you. I need to do this alone.”

  He lets out his breath in a sigh of frustration. “Why? I’ll let you go if you tell me why.”