“Maybe you should just move.” My chest constricts painfully at his words and I feel my face burn with anger. “I don’t want you to, but you’ll probably be better off away from town for a while. Go and stay in Cambridge with Elle.”
“But…”
He turns towards me and stares me down with swollen and tired eyes. “Your mother is going to continue to get worse. She only has about an hour each day where she even knows where she is. It’s pointless you staying to see it.”
My hands clench into fists. “I live for those hours, Dad. Right now they’re the only thing stopping me from falling to fucking pieces.”
“I like having you around. Trust me, the support is… it’s wanted.” He finally sits and rubs his eyes with the palms of his hands. “But it’s not needed. We’re good here. It’s hard, as you know, but I think maybe at this point it’ll be best for you and Elle to just disappear for a while.”
“If only it were that easy,” I snort. “Are you forgetting my house? My job? Plus I’m not leaving Mum. Just because you haven’t had an incident in a while doesn’t mean there won’t be anymore.”
“You’ll be better able to get a teaching job in Cambridge. Nobody will know about you and Eloise. If you stay…”
“If I stay, which I am, then I’ll deal with the consequences of my actions. I’m not running. I have limited time left with Mum before she loses her mind. Don’t ask me to miss out on it.”
My dad lets out a little laugh and shakes his head, seemingly with disbelief. “It’s funny. I tried your entire life to make you connect to and love your family more and now that you do, I’m the one pushing you away.”
I ignore his comment and pick up my phone, which continues to flash at me.
Tony: Drink? There’s a band playing.
I look at my mum and figure I’ve spent as much time here as I need for today. “I’ll see you later.”
“Where are you going?”
“Meeting friends,” I respond, standing swiftly as I respond to the text.
Isaac: Where am I meeting you?
The pub smells of beer and sweat when I first step inside and the noise could do with lowering a little. I’m not complaining though. The music sounds alright so it could be worse.
Tony flags me over to his group in the corner. I push through the crowd and take the seat reserved for me as he slides a beer my way.
“You look stressed.” He has to repeat himself three times before his words register.
I shrug and shake my head. “Tired and bored.”
“I hear you.” He nods his head to the music and introducing me to the man on his right. It’s a guy I recognise, one I used to attend school with, Hugh something. I don’t quite catch his last name and can’t pluck it from such an old memory. We shake hands, his being a little clammy, and share a nod of introduction before turning back to the crowd.
There are mostly younger people here, some I recognise from sixth form. As usual when a band is playing, the girls crowd around at the front, jumping around while being swarmed with men their age and older.
“I wonder if there’ll be a mosh pit,” Hugh laughs.
That would be interesting to see, as long as they don’t knock my beer over.
“Hugh is a newlywed too,” Tony says, apropos of nothing. “He got married two months ago.”
“That I did.” Hugh fingers the golden band that sits snugly on his ring finger. “You might remember her, Isaac, Stacie Hanley.”
I don’t, but I nod anyway. “Congratulations.”
“You too.”
We fall into a bit of an awkward silence as the music takes a turn for the worse.
“Shall we go?” Tony asks after another shit song begins to play. “I’m feeling lucky.”
I tense. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t go back to the casino, yet I find myself nodding and grabbing my jacket before following them out to the car park. I should go home. I don’t have money to waste, but I might win and if I win I’ll be able to treat Elle to a nice Christmas. Ten quid is hardly going to hurt my account that much and I might multiply it, or lose it. If I lose, it’s only ten quid.
Why am I convincing myself?
Eloise
“Fuck her and the shoe job she sucked her way into,” I slur angrily, thrusting my drink forward and giggling when it spills over and onto my hand. “And fuck those shoes. They fall apart anyway.”
“Yep, I can… hic… totally agree with you there.” Jordan blinks a few times as his head sways from side to side. I narrow my eyes in an attempt to focus on his blurring form. “What time is it?”
“Huh?”
“Time?” He taps the watch on his wrist and then snorts. “I have the time right here. It is…” He tilts his head back and tries to see the face of his watch. “I think it’s midnight.”
I look at my phone and nod. “Yep, one minute past twelve. That’s midnight, right?”
“Yeah. I’m so drunk. Those vodka sweets were a bad idea.”
“No!” I slap his shoulder. “Don’t you dare say that! They were… so tasty. I want more. Do we have more?”
“We ate them all.”
“We are shit people right now.” I pout and stare at the empty bowl on the couch between us. “Shit, shit, shit people.”
“Agreed. Those poor little jellies. They had no idea what was coming.”
Giggling, I stand on unsteady legs and grab my phone off the couch. Jordan does the same. “I think I need my bed.”
“I think I need your bed. Trade?”
“No.”
“You suck as a friend.”
I grin drunkenly and move into my bedroom, every step making me feel like my legs are melting into the floor. At least I’m feeling a little bit better about everything. Screw that bitch and her stupid job. I don’t need her and I don’t need that job. I have Isaac.
Isaac!
I’m going to call him right now and tell him I love him and miss him.
Why won’t my phone unlock?
Meh.
My body hits the bed and I think I’m asleep before I land, although… I’m still thinking so I can’t be asleep.
Giggle.
Isaac
I call her again and again as I head into work. My stress levels are high. I need to hear her voice.
As I drive down the quiet streets, I block last night from my mind. There’s no use thinking about it at all. I made a stupid mistake and it won’t happen again.
Answer your fucking phone, Elle!
It rings loudly through the car speaker and finally it connects. It’s not her voice I hear though, not even close.
A wretched pain slices through me when the voice of a man says “Hello?” three or four times. I’m not counting; I’m finding it hard to breathe.
I pull over and finally speak. “Who the fuck is this?”
“It’s Jordan; who is this?” He sounds tired but I don’t care. “Dude, seriously. Who is this?”
“It’s Isaac.”
I hear the bed squeak as he sits up and that pain worsens. “Isaac? As in Elle’s husband?”
“The one and only. Put her on the phone.”
“Huh? Why are you even calling me? How’d you get my…” He falls silent for a moment and my jaw clenches. I’ve never felt so full of rage in my entire life. I can hear my heart beating through my chest; my ears and face are burning like they’re on fire. “Oh. Shit.”
“Oh shit is fucking right,” I bite out and hang up the phone.
How could she do this? Why would she do this? With him? The man she insisted was nothing more than a friend and roommate.
My phone rings and Elle’s name and picture lights up the screen. It’s a picture of us together in France. Her skin is golden and glowing and her smile is radiant. Christ, I love her so much.
How could she do this?
I didn’t expect it. I think that’s why it hurts so fucking much. I’d finally started to trust her. If I was still on guard like I was bef
ore, I wouldn’t feel this winded and sore. I’d also know what to do; I’d know how to act.
My phone rings again but I ignore it. I can’t… I can’t face her right now. Or him. Or whoever is fucking calling.
I sit for a while, staring at the passing cars and grey skies through the windshield. My mind is essentially blank. If only my emotions were the same. I knew it would happen; I knew it. I just didn’t think it would happen this soon.
“Fuck you, Elle.” I snarl under my breath and turn my phone off. “Fuck you.”
I head into work with no idea how to deal with any of this. Is this when people get a divorce? Fuck if I know. This is my first actual relationship. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to think and I definitely have no idea how to react.
Should I call her and shout, or should I just ignore her until I’ve calmed down and got some perspective on this fucked up situation?
The pain I’m feeling is too much. I feel as though I want to vomit.
My hands tremble along with every other inch of my body. Each breath I take is ragged and hoarse.
I gave up everything for her. Everything.
Now my head is just full of images of them together. How long has it been going on? Have they been laughing behind my back?
I’ll kill him. If I ever get my hands on him, I will fucking kill him.
I pass my workmates and head straight to the van to grab my overalls and tools.
I gave up everything for her. I keep chanting it over and over in my mind.
My dad was right.
I think what’s making this worse is that she didn’t have to give up anything to be with me. I gave up everything for her because she was worth it. Do I want to lose her? Could I ever trust her again?
Could I forgive her?
Fuck.
I rub my eyes and make my way back to Stan and Tony, who seem to have sensed my foul mood and immediately plan the day ahead rather than making general conversation first.
Stan eyes me warily but doesn’t say much. I can see Tony waiting for the opportunity to talk to me.
I don’t want to talk to anybody. I want to hammer a few nails into walls and then break something.
Or maybe just break something.
Eloise
I wipe the tears from under my eyes and wrap the blanket tighter around myself.
His phone is still off and I have no idea what to do.
Jordan eyes me warily but he hasn’t said much since this morning. I can’t believe we picked up the wrong phones last night. Such a stupid, idiotic mistake.
If Isaac would just answer I could talk to him and sort it out.
If somebody would just fucking answer so I could ask them to talk to him for me.
What if he does something stupid as payback? What if he never talks to me again?
I wipe away more tears and try calling him once more, but as before it goes straight through to voicemail. My body feels cold and shaky. I might be in shock.
“He’ll answer eventually,” Jordan says softly.
I shake my head. “I need to go down there and talk to him.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. I’ll figure something out,” I say, my tone harsh.
I know it’s not Jordan’s fault but I just don’t have the ability to be sweet right now.
I text Hayley and Kira, declaring a state of marital emergency. Luckily my girls are on ball and both call me at the same time. Hayley’s call comes through only seconds after Kira’s, but I can only answer one at a time.
“I need a car,” I say to Kira, sniffling like a child.
“Start from the beginning,” Kira responds softly and I do, telling her about losing my job, getting drunk and Isaac no longer answering his phone because of a stupid phone mix up. She listens intently, waiting patiently to finish before speaking. “Yikes. Maybe he’ll answer?”
I shake my head, even though she can’t see. “I’m scared it’ll be too late by the time he does. What if he does something?”
“Look, you have friends in town. I’m on my way, but I think you should call his dad or something, see if he can’t clear things up for you.” I never thought of that. “He’s probably just angry and licking his wounds. He’ll have to talk to you eventually; you are married after all.”
The thought of receiving divorce papers through my door sends another wave of panic fluttering through me, but I push it down and listen to Kira’s rational answers.
“I’m on my way and I’ll bring ice cream. You make the calls you need to make and then we’ll wait. If he hasn’t called by tomorrow noon, I’ll drive you there myself.”
I have the greatest friends a girl could ever ask for. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I keep telling you I’m awesome. It’s your fault for not listening,” she giggles before the line goes dead.
Jordan looks up from his phone. “Sorted?”
I nod and stand, keeping my blanket wrapped tightly around my body as a barrier between myself and reality. It does little to shield me from the massive amount of emotions attacking me left, right and centre.
This long distance thing sucks. I know it doesn’t seem that far, it’s only two and a half hours, but when you have no car and no money to spend on train fare then you’re pretty much screwed.
If only I hadn’t left my stupid card for my savings account back home.
I call Isaac’s dad but he doesn’t answer, so I call my mum instead. She’s not happy about it, but will get involved purely because I’m innocent and clearly distraught. I just hope she hurries. I have such a horrible feeling churning in my gut.
It’s not until Kira arrives with two tubs of ice-cream and a hell of a lot of syrup that I finally relax and stop staring at my phone, praying for it to ring.
Isaac
“Is your mood to do with the amount of money you spent last night?” Tony asks. I had actually almost forgotten about that. “Because… well, if you don’t stop, you’re going to have a problem.”
I already have one. “I’m not bothered about the money anyway.”
“So what’s with the mood?”
I shrug, not wanting to share the fact that my eighteen year old wife has decided to seek the comforts of another man. “Marital problems.”
“Glad I’m single. She pissed about the money?”
Sigh. “No, it’s nothing to do with the money. I’d rather just move on from that anyway.”
“Isaac, you put in like five hundred. I watched you. I warned you. I consider you a mate and I wouldn’t be a good mate if I didn’t say shit. I think you should ban yourself, or put a limit on your account at least.”
I nod. He’s absolutely right. I went way overboard. “It doesn’t matter; I won’t be going back.”
Tony chuckles and helps me place the glass into the window frame. “I’ve said that to myself many times.”
“Then don’t be a hypocrite.”
“I have a limit on my account, remember? I can’t spend more than forty a week. It’s too easy to get sucked into the scam of these places.”
I nod again because, again, he’s absolutely right. “Yeah, I’ll be more careful.”
“There’s bugger all to do in this town. Boredom can become your worst enemy.”
“You’re turning Yoda on me,” I comment dryly and he laughs loudly.
“Shit, the boss man is coming.”
We both look as Darren strides across the room, his long legs clearing the distance in no time at all. “You.” He points at me and nods for me to follow him. What did I do now?
I follow him into his office, which currently has no doors and is being converted into a staffroom. “I have a lot I need to do, Darren. Spit it out.”
“I’m going to say this one time and one time only. If my daughter ever calls her mother or I in tears again…”
What the fuck? “I’m done. I’m not even listening to this shit. She is my wife and it is my marriage.”
&n
bsp; “You need to call Eloise. Whatever has happened, my wife assures me that it’s all one big misunderstanding.”
Yeah, right. “I’ll call Eloise when I feel like calling her.”
“Look, I don’t like you at all, as you already know. Quite frankly I feel you’re a perverted prick who definitely doesn’t deserve my daughter… but…” He clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest. “I need you as my middle man. Elle’s my only child. One day this could be hers.” He motions to the room, but I have a feeling he’s talking about his entire company. Does he not know that Elle isn’t interested in the empire he’s built for himself? “I want my daughter back and you’re the person who’s going to bring her back to me. The sooner the better, because she’ll get bored of you soon enough.”
“So sure about that?”
“Very. She’s young and she’s foolish, but she’ll grow. Call her and then get her to call me.”
I shake my head and turn towards the open frame, but not before telling him to go fuck himself. With the day shot to shit, there’s no way I’m staying. I head past my workmates, past Tony, and straight to my car, where I climb in and drive away. I should have called in sick.
The journey home is an eventful one in my mind. I even turn my phone on, shocked when it starts ringing immediately and Eloise’s face and number lights up on the screen.
I’m wondering if I have read into it all wrong and overreacted. I’ve never been one to talk to people about things going on in my life, but now I wish I had someone to turn to, to speak to about the warring emotions and thoughts I’m struggling with.
Maybe a second voice could give me a clearer view on this mess.
It’s not until I’ve kicked my shoes off after entering the house that I finally pick up the phone and put it to my ear.
I expect yelling, tears and a jumble of excuses. What I don’t expect is a sniffle and a, “Hey.”
I also expect myself to shout, to yell at my wife for putting me through this. Instead I respond with an equally defeated sounding, “Hey.”
Destruction: The Distraction Trilogy #2 Page 14