The Rhythm of My Heart

by Velvet Reed

  Chapter 30

  Cole….

  I’m in the doctors’ lounge, finally, taking a quick break and grabbing a cup of coffee. The ER has been like a mad house all morning. I guess it doesn’t help not getting enough sleep last night, but then I’m NOT going to complain about that because I had a beautiful woman in my arms, making love to her for most of the night. So, here I am, standing at the window in the quiet lounge, sipping peacefully on my much-needed caffeine hit, when the door opens and Miranda walks in. Her face instantly brightens when she sees me standing here. She quickly glances around the room and, obviously realizing we’re alone, walks straight over to me. For God’s sake, I really don’t need her shit today.

  “Cole,” she practically purrs. “We need to talk.” Yep, here we go… maybe this break wasn’t such a blessing after all.

  I sigh deeply. “And what exactly do we need to talk about, Miranda?” I snipe.

  She tries to pull her pouty face on me. It’s a look I used to fall for and a look I used to find sexy. Miranda moves in closer to me. “Us, of course, Cole.”

  I stare at her in disbelief and shake my head. “There is no US, Miranda.”

  My comment has absolutely no effect on her. She steps in so we are only a few inches apart and wraps her hands around my neck. What the fuck? I put my coffee cup on the windowsill, immediately bring my hands up to her arms, and start to push her away, but she lunges forward and her lips connect with mine. It takes me a few seconds to comprehend what the hell is happening. In my stunned state, I gently push her arms and we break apart. Miranda gives me a smile which repulses me. I look into her eyes and wonder what the hell I ever saw in this woman. She’s only worried about status, money, and having a doctor for a husband, very superficial and not at all redeeming qualities. Definitely not the qualities I want in the woman I intend to love and spend the rest of my life with. Miranda is the complete opposite of Gracie. God… Gracie… It suddenly hits me in this moment that I’m outrageously head over heels in love with Gracie.

  I snap out of my thoughts of Gracie and push Miranda completely away from me. Her arms fall from my neck and I bring my hand up and wipe it over my mouth, my lips feel tainted. “Fuck, Miranda, how many times do I have to tell you that it’s over between us? It’s been two years for fuck’s sake!”

  Her eyes spark with anger and glare into mine “Well… I was wrong then, Cole! I shouldn’t have broken up with you. I still love you and we… we belong together; we’re the same.”

  I cannot believe this woman. “No, Miranda, we’re NOT the same. You left me because you thought you had a chance with that neurosurgeon. You weren’t worried about how I would feel or if I loved you. That didn’t work out, so now you’ve decided you want me again… understand me, it’s not, I repeat, not going to happen. WE. ARE. DONE!”

  Unbelievably, she reaches for me again. “I know you still love me, Cole…”

  I cut her off. “No, Miranda, I don’t love you; I really don’t. I’m in love with Gracie.”

  Miranda’s mouth gapes open. I almost laugh at the look of shock on her face. “What? Seriously, Cole? You’re a doctor and she works in an auto repair shop. She is nowhere nearly good enough for you… Her father is a mechanic for goodness sake!” She screams.

  I just stare at her. I really have NO idea what I ever saw in her. She’s so fucking materialistic, stuck up, overbearing, and I can’t stand anything about her. Before I can open my mouth and respond to her statement, the door to the lounge bursts open and Sam stalks in, his face consumed with anger.

  “What the fuck, Cole?” He yells at me.

  “What?” I ask, incredulously. I have no idea what I could have possibly done to piss my best friend off this much.

  Sam looks from me to Miranda and back again shaking his head. “I really didn’t think you were stupid enough to fall for her bullshit again, but I guess I was wrong.” He looks back at Miranda again, turns back to me with absolute disgust marring his features, and in a calmer voice says, “Buddy, I’m your best friend, and as your best friend I have to say, you just fucked up the best thing that has ever happened to you. You’re a goddamn fool.”

  Sam turns and starts to walk toward the door. I’m completely blown away by his words and I don’t understand what he’s talking about. “Wait… What the hell do you mean I just fucked up the best thing that has ever happen to me?” I spit out.

  Sam spins back around and shakes his head. “Grace. I’m talking about Grace, Cole. You know, your girlfriend? She was just here to see you, but imagine our surprise, when we walked in here and found the two of you making out!” Sam glares at Miranda who is standing there silently watching with amusement in her eyes. What the fuck? Gracie was just here? Making out? Oh, shit! They must have seen Miranda kissing me, and our hands were on each other. Shit, shit, shit, shit! The blood rushes from my head as Sam’s words sink in. I just fucked up the best thing that has ever happened to me!

  “Sam. It wasn’t like that. Where’s Gracie? I have to talk to her; I have to explain!” I panic.

  “Where do you think, Cole? She left; I wanted her to wait until Ashley came to get her. She was so fucking quiet, like all the life just drained out of her, but she wouldn’t wait. She said she didn’t want an explanation; she said she shouldn’t have expected anything different.”

  “Fuck!” I scream. Troy… she found Troy cheating on her and now she thinks I’ve cheated on her, too. God, I have to fix this; she has to let me explain. I notice Miranda snickering beside me, and I completely lose it screaming, “You think this is funny? This is your fault. You did this. Get it through your head, Miranda. I love Gracie. YOU are nothing to me!”

  Miranda’s expression sobers and she glares at me. “Fine, Cole… You can have your pathetic little girlfriend,” she snarls. “Just remember what you’re giving up!”

  I give her a humorless laugh. “What I’m giving up… Really, Miranda? You may be an intelligent, successful doctor, but you’re not half the woman Gracie is, and you never will be!” And with an almost hysterical grunted scream, Miranda storms out of the lounge.

  I turn to Sam as I reach for the phone in my pocket and dial Gracie’s number. “Pick up, pick up, please pick it up,” I chant. The call goes straight to her voicemail.

  ‘Hi, this is Gracie, leave a message at the beep’, beep.

  “Gracie, it’s me; call me, baby, we need to talk… please, Gracie, call me back.” I can hear the desperation in my voice.

  I hang up and look into Sam’s eyes; he shakes his head again and mutters, “Jesus, Cole, what were you thinking?”

  I start pacing. “It wasn’t like that, Sam! Miranda was in here for only a few minutes; going on about us getting back together, and how we’re meant for each other. She put her arms around me, but when I went to push her away, she pounced and kissed me. It lasted seconds; I was shocked she’d even try. When I pushed her away and looked at her, I realized she disgusts me and that I’m completely in love with Gracie. God, Sam, I love Gracie. You should know me well enough to realize I would never… never hurt her like that.” I can feel a stinging sensation behind my eyes. Fuck, I haven’t cried since I was a kid.

  Sam shuffles uncomfortably and rubs the back of his neck. “Umm, it sure as hell didn’t look that way, Cole. It really did look pretty convincing, but I believe you. I know Miranda can be a bitch. I can’t imagine what Gracie was thinking. Like I said, it was as if the life just drained out of her, the spark left her eyes. She just said she had stuff to do, as if nothing had happened… She didn’t cry or anything, man.”

  “Shit. Her ex cheated on her, Sam; that’s why she said she shouldn’t have expected anything different. She thinks that’s what I’ve done, and now I can’t even leave to go find her for another four hours. What if she won’t let me explain?” I’m still pacing the room and looking at my phone, silently willing it to ring.

  “Look, I’m sorry, Cole. I’ll call Ashley, explain what’s happened, and get her to check on
Gracie. I’m positive that once you speak with her everything will work itself out,” Sam says, with hope coloring his tone as he pulls out his phone to call Ashley.

  “God, I hope so,” I reply, as I dial Gracie’s number for the second time, but it goes straight to voicemail again. I leave another message. “Gracie, please. Sam’s here with me; it wasn’t what it looked like; I promise you, Gracie. Please, please, just call me.” I hang up again and feel a tightness spread across my chest that I have never experienced before. What if she doesn’t let me explain? I can’t lose her like this. I love her. God, how I love her. I’m about to try her phone again when my pager goes off. I check it. “Goddamn it! Sam, I have to go; a trauma case just came in. This is a fucking mess!”

  Sam hangs up from Ashley and says, “Ashley’s going to check on her and get back to me, so I’ll let you know what she says. I told her about everything that happened before and after Gracie left. She was pissed and said she would talk to Gracie, but she’s pretty sure this isn’t going to be an easy fix… even with your explanation.”

  I’m walking out the door as I reply, “Thanks, Sam; just call me once you’ve spoken to Ashley again. I know it won’t be easy, but I swear to you, I will do everything, and I mean everything, I can to get her back. I won’t lose her, Sam!” I walk down the corridor trying to get my thoughts together as I head for the ER and the waiting trauma.

  Chapter 31

  Ashley….

  I left the girls at the shop and got straight in my car to go be with Gracie. I was hoping she went home, but there was no sign of her there. She wasn’t at her dad’s or the garage either, but then, those two places were a complete long shot. I tried our favorite café, and the local park where we went as kids but came up short there, too. After hours of looking, it finally hit me. I should have known this was where she would come. She would want and need the closeness. The only times she ever came here were when things were either really good or really bad, and as I pull into the cemetery and see her car, I know she’s hurting big time.

  She’s on her knees in front of her mom’s grave; one hand is resting on top of the marble headstone while the other is flat on the grass supporting her weight. Maggie Rivers was an amazing woman. I know I was only ten years old when she died, but I remember her as clear as anything. She was like my second mom. She was always there, always caring, always showing her family how much she loved them. I miss her; I miss her terribly, but I know that doesn’t even come close to what Gracie feels.

  She hasn’t noticed me pull up, so I climb out of my car and make my way over to her as quietly as I can. I can hear her sobs and my heart breaks for my beautiful, best friend. Stopping a few feet away, I wait. “Mommy, I don’t know what to do. Everything was perfect last night, and now, now I’m lost,” she whispers. I want to comfort her but I think she needs to let it out.

  “I just don’t understand. Why would he do this? Why would he cheat with her? I thought he was going to be my forever. I thought I had finally found what you and Daddy had. I’m so stupid… so, so stupid for thinking he would ever choose me. I hate him. I hate him for kissing her. I hate him for ruining what we had. I hate him for ruining our future!” She wails, as her body visibly shakes in anguish.

  I step close and softly put my hand on her shoulder. “Gracie,” I whisper. She startles and raises her face to look at me as I crouch down beside her.

  “I should have known you’d find me. You always do,” she murmurs, while wiping away her tears.

  “Of course, I found you, sweets. You’re my best friend, my sister. I’ll always find you and be here for you… always.” She gives me a small smile.

  “So I take it you know what happened?” She looks back at the headstone.

  I wrap my arm around her shoulder and squeeze. “Yeah, Sam called me. He told me what you saw, and I’m so sorry, Gracie; that must have been terrible.”

  “Terrible doesn’t even come close,” she cuts me off. “Why her? She’s a fucking bitch. Why cheat with her?” she exclaims.

  “Look at me, Gracie,” I implore as I turn her shoulders toward me. “Sam had it out with Cole and it’s not what you think. He didn’t cheat on you Gracie, it was all Miranda.”

  Gracie leaps to her feet and knocks me off balance making me fall on my ass. She towers over me, face full of anger and begins to scream, “How the hell would you know? You weren’t there! You didn’t see it with your own two eyes. And how can you take his side when you’re supposed to be my fucking best friend?”

  I get to my feet hands up in surrender. “Hey, I am your best friend and I’m not siding with him. From what Sam said, I just think you need to hear Cole out before you write him off.”

  If looks could kill, I would be dead right now. I know that thought is in poor taste, considering our current location, but the way Gracie is looking at me, has me fearful for my life.

  She’s pacing like a lioness ready to attack, when she snaps her head toward me, “What Sam said? Are you fucking kidding me? Sam was there, he was right beside me when we walked in on them… Is he blind?”

  I’ve never seen my best friend react this way to anything in her life. She’s snapped, cursing like I’ve never heard before. There’s an explosive energy radiating off her that’s going to erupt and God help anyone standing near her.

  “Gracie… please, you need to calm down. You need to think things through and you need to talk to Cole. Please, let him explain,” I plead.

  She briefly stops and looks around the cemetery. I watch as she turns things over in her mind, obviously trying to decide what to do. With a resolute nod, she steps toward her mom’s headstone; she kisses her fingers and lays them on her mom’s name. “Thanks, Mommy, I’ll see you soon,” she sighs. She turns around to face me and her lips curl in disgust. “Thanks for your support, Ashley. It’s good to know I can count on you when someone fucks me over, but don’t worry, I’ll handle things myself.” Then she stalks toward her car without looking back.

  I stand there for a moment, frozen in shock. What the fuck? “Grace, wait,” I yell, but it falls on deaf ears as she’s already in her car and backing out of the parking space. “Gracie,” I yell again, while running to her car, but I’m choking on dust as she hits the gas, tires squealing, and spewing rocks everywhere as she flies out of the cemetery leaving me behind. I don’t know what the hell she’s going to do, but I’ll be there for her one hundred percent. While I do think she needs to listen to Cole, who I’m extremely pissed at right now, Gracie’s my best friend and I’ll always have her back, even if she doesn’t want me there. So with that thought, I’m back in my car and racing out of the cemetery, following my girl without any idea of what’s about to happen next.

  Chapter 32

  Sam….

  I’m back in the lounge, finally finished with my shift and getting my stuff together; it’s been one long-ass day, and I’m ready for a drink. The door opens and Cole comes in checking his phone, undoubtedly, for the millionth time in the last four hours. “Has she gotten back to you?” I ask.

  Cole looks at me and shakes his head while collapsing into a chair. “Nah, man, no missed calls, no text messages, nothing.” He hangs his head and breathes deeply. This isn’t going to be easy for him, but I completely understand Gracie’s side. It looked bad; the kissing, the touching; God knows, Miranda is a devious bitch, but while it looked like they were cheating, looks can be deceiving. After talking with Cole and seeing how devastated he is, I know without a doubt that it happened exactly like he’s said. I just pray Gracie will see that, too.

  “Come on, man. Let’s get out of here and I’ll help you find your woman,” I say, as I shut my locker.

  Cole gets up and starts getting ready to leave. “Have you heard anything from Ashley?”

  “Nope. I’ve tried a few times, but I guess if she’s with Gracie, she isn’t going to answer.”

  “Yeah, I guess not,” he says, dejectedly.

  We both pick up our bags and make our w
ay to the elevators. The walk and ride down to the ground floor is in complete silence. I steal small glances at Cole who looks completely lost. When the doors open, we step out and head for fresh air with Cole still in his own little world. “It’ll be all right, Cole; you and Gracie will work this out. I guarantee it.” I try to comfort him.

  He just continues walking without a response.

  “Cole.” You have got to be joking. Does this stupid bitch not get it? Cole and I both turn to see Miranda walking toward us with her fake-ass smile plastered on her face. This woman makes me sick.

  “What the hell do you want, Miranda?” I growl at her, but she just ignores me and stops in front of Cole.

  “I just wanted to make sure you’re all right after the terrible way Grace treated you earlier,” she says, trying to look bashful and innocent while placing her hand on his chest.

  Cole seems to revive at the contact and her words. He grabs her hand around her wrist and wrenches it away. “You have serious issues, Miranda! I strongly advise you to seek a mental health consult because your mind is severely fucked up. Grace did nothing to me! You did; you poisoned my relationship with her, just like you poison everything. You’re fucking toxic and I’m sick of your games and bullshit. Stay away from me, stay away from my family, and most importantly, stay the fuck away from Grace!” He shouts at her.

  A crowd starts to build in the courtyard in front of the hospital where Cole is yelling at the wicked bitch of the east. With his hand still holding hers away from him, my attention is drawn to a streak of yellow that comes racing through the parking lot and skids to a halt in front of us. “Oh, fuck!” I mumble, as the driver’s side door flies open and Gracie jumps out with a wild, feral look about her.

  Cole’s still going at Miranda when Grace storms up the path. “Well, isn’t this fucking sweet!” she spits out. My eyes bug out a bit at hearing Grace cursing so openly like that.