9781618854490WildChelceeNC
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“Yes.” He held her closer now as if he couldn’t let go.
His penis, rock hard, jutted against the seam of her butt, but he didn’t move back and she didn’t scoot forward. She squeezed her eyes and tried to control the wild desire, the need she felt for this man. It was too soon for anything physical between them, too soon for her body and way too soon for either one of them.
With the mess her life was in, she wasn’t sure she could make a commitment and she knew darn well Wild was far from ready to make one. Their emotions were in full swing, but not necessarily for each other.
She loved the feel of him against her. For now, she’d savor it for as long as she could. Jayla locked her fingers with his. “Penny’s active tonight.”
“Penny?”
“It was my mother’s middle name. Jessica Penny Ross.” She swallowed the bittersweet ache that her mother would never get the chance to meet her granddaughter. “Mom…uh…well you know, passed away two years ago.”
“It’s a beautiful name,” he said, pressing the flat of his hand against the faint movements. “It feels like a little butterfly fluttering away,” Wild said, awed, “such tiny, faint quivers. Does it hurt?” he asked.
“No. Later, once the baby grows and starts kicking harder, but not right now. It feels exactly the way you described, like sweet little butterfly wings beating softly against the inside of your skin, tiny ripples, I suppose.” She smiled and raised his hand to her lips and pressed a light kiss against his knuckles. “Thank you for sharing this moment with me.”
“Are you kidding? It’s great!” He sounded thrilled. “I’ve never felt a baby move inside a woman before. It’s the most miraculous thing. The creating of life is amazing.”
Well, he’d answer the question for her as to whether he’d felt the first signs of life before. Jayla rolled to face him and in spite of knowing he didn’t want her kisses, she pressed her mouth against his.
For a moment, he met her mouth with equal hunger, tasted her, then jerked back. His mask slid into place and a soft hiss escaped him. “Let’s not start something neither of us can finish.”
“There are ways we can finish.”
His jaw tightened. She saw the muscle work in the faint flickering of the firelight.
“Right now, we need to concentrate on you regaining your strength and getting well enough to ride out of here.”
“We’re leaving?” Jayla drew a sharp breath and slowly released it. Damn. Her stomach felt as hollow as an old log, like she’d taken a kick to her solar plexus. She didn’t know what she’d thought or what she believed he’d do to protect her and her baby, but leaving the safety and warmth of the cabin hadn’t occurred to her.
“We’ll leave it for a few days, but sooner or later, we need to get out of here.”
“We can’t leave. We’ll freeze to death.”
“Maybe. But for sure we’re sitting ducks here. He could burn us out, honey. If he caught us unprepared, we’d be out in the cold without supplies or a way to survive. We can’t stay here.”Wild turned his back to her and in moments, she heard his steady breaths.
Jayla rolled back over and battled tears, but the urge to cry was stronger than her will to stave away the waterworks. She scooted to the far side of the bed and gave into her silent tears. He couldn’t make it any plainer he didn’t want her. He didn’t want her near him, had no desire to kiss or touch her. Humiliated, she gave into the overwhelming urge to bawl like a motherless calf.
Thirty minutes later, she was still blubbering. The mattress sank beneath Wild’s weight as he turned and scooted across the bed to her.
“Come here, you,” he whispered. “Why are you crying?”
She sniffed. “I offered you my heart, my soul, and you turned your back to me.”
“I’m facing you now.”
“You don’t understand—”
“No, you don’t understand,” he said, gently squeezing her. “If we start something, I’m not going to wanna stop. It’s been a lifetime since I made love to a beautiful woman. A little more temptation coming from you, and I’ll be on you and in you so fast you’ll wonder where the hell I came from.” He pressed a tiny kiss against the curve of her lips. “When I make love to you the first time, and all the times after that, I want it to be just as special for you as it is for me.”
“When you make love to me?”
He tilted her face to his. “Have no doubt, Jayla Ross, you’re mine. You always have been. I’ve just been a little on the slow side claiming you, but I have every intention of having you, owning you…not for just one night, but for an eternity. When I touch you, I want each time to be like the first time. Anything wonderful worth having is worth waiting until the time is right.”
Jayla nearly melted. His words painted a perfect picture in her head. He wasn’t a man to mince words, and his were spoken with such depth and emotion, she wanted to weep with joy. That’d be a change, for sure.
“Oh,” she said faintly. It was all she could muster up. He wanted to make love to her, and he wanted it to be special. Just him saying the words were extraordinary and sent a tiny thrill darting through her. “I can wait,” she whispered. “I’ll wait for you forever.”
“The hell you will,” he replied. His voice sounded rough as gravel. “We aren’t waiting forever—just long enough for you to get your feet under you again, then, lady, nothing’s gonna hold me back.” Wild settled her in his arms. “Better?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
He groaned. “Don’t be so damn polite. I have nefarious reasons for dragging you into my arms.”
“You do?” she asked on a breathless note.
“Uh-huh.”
She slid a palm across the center of his chest, paused at the button hard nipple, and stroked it with her fingertips. “What do you have in mind?” she whispered, and adjusted her body so she could lick his nipple.
He flinched, moaned, and pressed her closer. His cock throbbed against her bare thigh. Wild shifted away from her so his penis no longer pushed against her. She opened her mouth to protest, but closed it. His way was safer. Jayla wanted him with every fiber of her being. She was sure now he wanted her, too, but he was right, her body wasn’t ready for his. Not right now, but soon.
“What do you have in mind?” she repeated and settled her head on his chest. She loved the way he sifted his fingers through her hair. There was something sexy about the way he gently played with strands of her hair as if he was fascinated with it.
She walked her fingers down his chest to his flat belly, stopping to tease the soft tufts that speared south to no man’s land. She grinned. Maybe that was no woman’s land. Oh, but just give her a day or two. She planned to dazzle Wild Remington.
“Tell me everything,” he said on a soft gasp as she touched a fingertip to the smooth knob jerking like something mad.
Jayla’s breath caught on a painful sigh and regrettably, stopped teasing his shaft. She licked her dry lips. “Oh, God, Wild, you have no idea what you’re asking from me. Everything was…is so ugly.”
“And you think what happened to me wasn’t?”
“What happened to you was beyond your control.”
“Are you saying you allowed yourself to be raped?”
“No! Of course not,” she replied with heat.
“Then I think there were some things beyond your control as well. So don’t hold anything back.”
She rubbed her palm across his chest. “You won’t just hate me. You’ll be disgusted.”
“I won’t hate you or be disgusted. I know whatever life you led after that summer day, you had no choice. It took me years to understand and accept it. You were a young girl with nowhere to turn. I should have been there for you.”
Jayla stroked his chest in an attempt to soothe the guilt he felt. “It wasn’t your fault, Wild. It happened and any help you might have been was pretty much killed when I told those lies. I don’t blame you, not anymore. I blame Hamilton Ross, Kane Masters…but mostly I blame
myself for being a gullible fool. I let them use me. I nearly let them destroy my life, but worst of all, I let them kill any respect I had for myself. I’m so ashamed of all the things I’ve done.”
“They’re the ones who should be ashamed,” he said in her defense. “Bastards. If you don’t want to talk about it, we’ll just go to sleep, baby.”
“No. I need to tell you. I need to while I still have the courage.”
“Then tell me,” Wild said softly and squeezed her waist. “We’ll put it all behind us. Start fresh.”
Jayla drew a deep breath. She’d known sooner or later she’d have to tell Wild as much as she could. It might as well be now. Here in the dark, where she couldn’t see his face or how he reacted. It might make her a coward, but she wasn’t sure she had what it took to tell him in the daylight hours.
“Okay. I’ll tell you, but it isn’t pretty,” she warned. She drew a deep breath. “After the day by the creek, I lost all innocence.”
Wild flinched beside her.
“Don’t,” she whispered. “If I’m going to get through this, you can’t keep blaming yourself.” She drew a sharp breath and slowly released it. “After he finished, the senator took me home. He made polite conversation as if nothing wrong had taken place, as if he hadn’t just destroyed my life. He kept telling me to smile, that everything would be all right.” She shuddered at the memories. “He told me it was my fault because I’d tempted him by the way I dressed, always flaunting my body.”
Wild squeezed her in encouragement.
“For a long time I believed him.”
“It wasn’t your fault. He took advantage of a young woman whose mother was many miles away. The senator was the one who raped you.” He said it with certainty. “A couple of years into my sentence, I finally figured out it had to be him. There was no one else it could have been.”
She nodded. “Yes. He hurt me that day. He was rough. Sadistic. He made me feel violent. I wanted to kill him, but you see…much as I hated him, I needed him. I couldn’t tell anyone he was the one who raped me. I had to cover up his sins and accuse someone else. I was in pretty bad shape, plus there was the possibility he’d made me pregnant. I wasn’t on any kind of birth control.” She swallowed past the dryness in her throat and continued. “I was terrified I’d conceived his child. As soon as I knew I wasn’t pregnant, I started using birth control. I knew he’d be back. I was alone with him and I–I knew he’d never leave me be.” Her voice broke.
Wild rubbed her back, soothing her, but she felt the temper, the rage in his body.
She laughed, but even to her ears, it rang false. “You have no idea how I wanted to shout to the world what a lying, lecherous bastard he was and still is…but I couldn’t.”
Wild nodded in the darkness. “I’m here for you now, baby. I’m so sorry I didn’t look back that day.”
“It was his idea to lay the blame on you. He’d seen you ride away. He knew I had a terrible crush on you. He’d been angry about it all summer, accusing me of sleeping with you. No matter how many times I denied it, I guess he knew I would have done so if you’d given me half a chance. I couldn’t stand him and he knew it. Hamilton chose the perfect revenge for his bruised ego, the perfect time, and place. Evidence you were there was all over the place. I’d even scratched your face. He loved that. Together with me swearing you were the one, you didn’t stand a chance.” She burst into tears. “I don’t know how you can ever forgive me.”
“Honey, don’t.” He pressed a tender kiss against the top of her head. “Stop blaming yourself. It wasn’t your fault any more than it was mine.” He hesitated rubbing her shoulders in an attempt to soothe her. “Do you feel like continuing?”
She nodded. “Yes. I want to get it over with and put it all behind me.”
* * * *
Five Years Earlier…
God had deserted Jayla that day by the creek. As far as she was concerned, He remained absent from her life. The following two years after Hamilton raped her, she lived a nightmare doing the senator’s bidding.
Although she detested his slimy kisses, his punishing touches, wet mouth on her breasts, and his cock inside her, she didn’t tell anyone he stole into her room and crawled in her bed in the wee hours of the night almost every night.
His sweating, heaving body on top of hers, thrusting in and out until he climaxed was her penalty for lying. She endured it for three reasons.
One—She owed a good man vindication—her punishment for lying under oath. She couldn’t confide in her mother, not with her still so ill.
Two—Her mom’s treatment depended on whether Jayla gave her body to the senator when he demanded.
Three—Jayla wanted to expose him, to make him pay for his crimes against her, against Wild, but when she threatened to expose her stepfather for the lowlife he was, he shrugged and laughed.
“Go ahead,” he said, his eyes ruthless and filled with challenge. “You’ll have a difficult time explaining why you look so willing to let me touch you again…and again. I have it all on film.” His lips twisted with a lecherous smile. “Believe me, baby doll, you ride me like a young filly in heat. The way you toss your head, thrusting your sweet breasts at my mouth, your moans of pleasure, no one will think you were ever forced to have sex with me. I always make certain you climax. From the whimpers you make, there’s no doubt of your gratification.”
“Climax?” Her words rose on a bitter note she didn’t bother to hide. “You flatter yourself, Senator. You’d love to believe you’re man enough to flip my switch, but the sad truth is I shudder every time you crawl into my bed and touch me.”
He grabbed her by the shoulders, his hard fingers biting into her flesh. There’d be bruises, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d left marks on her. “That isn’t what shows on the tape,” he snarled between clenched teeth.
She jerked away from him. “They’ll see,” she cried. “Anyone with half a brain will know I’m faking. They’ll realize you took advantage of me.”
“How? How will they know? Oh, I’ll be guilty of being the older man who should have known better than to touch his beautiful stepdaughter while his poor wife was away in the hospital.” He placed a hand across his heart and looked sad. “But I was forlorn. They’ll see you for a temptress who took advantage of my loneliness and lured me into your bed.”
“That’s a lie! I never did one thing to make you think for a second I wanted you to touch me.” Jayla couldn’t believe he’d taped them in bed. Discovering he kept a secret file of what he termed her promiscuous behavior was terrifying. It made her wonder what other things he may have hidden away concerning her. With so much evidence stacked against her, no one would take her word if she accused the senator of the ugly things he’d done to her.
How she detested him.
When her mother got better and finally came home, Jayla thought her stepfather would leave her alone. If she’d believed her mother’s presence would stop him coming to her bed, she’d been sadly mistaken. By the time she realized her mother knew exactly what was going on and preferred not to interfere on her daughter’s behalf, Jayla turned seventeen. Her sexual education, though perverted, was thorough. She knew every way there was to sexually please a man, to arouse him, to get him off in a heartbeat. She’d learned how to please the senator. For her, the faster he finished, the sooner he left the room. Sometimes it pissed him off when she forced his climax so fast, but once he left, for a few hours she could pretend to the world everything was wonderful in her life.
Most times after he left her bed, she felt lost and helpless. With nowhere to turn, she cried.
By the time she was nearly eighteen she no longer pleased him in bed. If she thought that meant he was finished with her, once again she’d been wrong. Her mother’s health declined. She needed further treatment, the kind that could only be found in Switzerland, or so Hamilton insisted. He was willing to cover the expense, if Jayla agreed to seduce the independent mercenary, Kane Masters.
All she could think was that at last she’d be free of the senator.
She didn’t know Kane, had never even seen the man, but she agreed, praying this was the last thing that Hamilton ever demanded she do for him. It didn’t matter, she’d do anything, as long as her mother was taken care of and it meant the senator no longer used her for sexual gratification.
Even though she was thankful he stopped demanding she pleasure him, at the same time, she felt lost, rudderless, without direction. He was all she’d known for almost three years.
A month later, Kane, along with his wife, Barbara, arrived at the senator’s home for a formal dinner that included several politicians. She was late making an entrance as the hostess for the senator. Hurrying from her bedroom and swishing down the hall, Jayla fussed with her hair as she rounded a corner and smacked straight into the man she was to seduce.
Grunting, she wobbled unsteadily on the royal blue spike heels.
“Hey, there.” Kane gripped her upper arms and steadied her. “You’re in a big hurry.”
She leaned back and looked into the stormiest eyes she’d ever seen. She knew immediately who he was from the pictures the senator had shown her.
“Looking into his eyes is like looking into the devil’s soul,” Hamilton warned. “You do not want to get on the bad side of this man.”
But she hadn’t expected Kane to be so damn handsome, captivating, or sexy. A healthy tan, white teeth flashing like pearls, he lifted a dark brow as he thoroughly inspected her. A cool smile played upon intriguing lips, but the eyes sparked with interest.
He skimmed his heated gaze down her throat to her breasts. The heart-shaped bodice of the teal colored cocktail dress left little to the imagination. His gaze settled on the plush curves of her cleavage.
Her heart raced as he snagged one of her glossy black curls and rubbed it between his fingers. “You must be the senator’s daughter,” he said without a hint of doubt. “I heard you were a hot little piece.”