Dark Becoming (An Ema Marx Novel Book 3)

by J. D. Brown

  “Oh? Could have fooled me.”

  “Prince Jalmari is on sabbatical. Why would he be standing in zee middle of my room?”

  Jalmari looked good for a man in mourning, dressed to the nines in silk black slacks and a matching button-down shirt. His chin-length tresses were gelled back, showing off handsome features that were just a fraction softer than his brother’s. If not for the impeccable difference in personality and skin tone, Jalmari and Jesu could have been identical. Jalmari was a bit larger though. He packed more muscle.

  Jalmari narrowed his emerald gaze and wet his lips. “I have a job for you.”

  An invisible sledgehammer pounded against my temple and I groaned into the pillows. “I am not in commission at zee moment.”

  The Neo-Draugrian prince chuckled. “Let me guess; my kid brother broke your heart one too many times and you thought you could fix it with…” he paused to inhale a deep breath through his nostrils, “…brandy, is it? You always had good taste, Bridget.”

  “No offense, Your Highness, but piss off.”

  Jalmari scoffed. “I really think you ought to hear me out. I want to free my brother from that troublemaking rat, Ema.”

  That got my attention. I peeled the side of my face from the bed and looked at him. “You serious?”

  “Very. You see, we both want the same thing. So let’s help each other out.”

  “What do you have in mind?”

  “Easy. You kill her.”

  I laughed. “You’re joking, right?”

  Jalmari glared. “Since when did the assassin get a conscience?”

  “I’ve always had one, I just never cared about anyone else. There’s a difference.”

  “So you care about Ema?”

  I snorted and then rolled onto my back, head still pounding. “No. She can rot in hell. But I can’t kill her, because Jesu would hate me.”

  “He doesn’t have to know.”

  “Why do you want her dead anyway?”

  He narrowed his gaze. “She killed Leena and seduced my only brother into marching off to war with her. I thought you of all people would understand why she needs to be stopped, but I guess I was wrong. I’ll show myself out.”

  “Wait.” I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath before opening them again. “It can’t be by my hand. Even if Jesu never found out, I would know. I would know zat I don’t deserve him.” I pushed upright and swung my legs over the edge of the bed to face Jalmari. Vengeance burned in his eyes—I knew the look all too well, and I didn’t doubt that he meant what he said about killing Ema. Was I really willing to let it go that far? She was with child, for crying out loud. It would be a double murder.

  I vowed to save Jesu.

  “You have to do it,” I said. “I heard Ema and Jesu talking. They are going to meet in zee woods. They’ll be alone. Strike then.”

  “Which woods?” Jalmari snarled. “Where exactly? When?”

  “I don’t know, but I can find out and will contact you when I know more.”

  He reached into his pocket, pulled out a stack of hundred-dollar euros, and tossed the money onto the bed. “You’ll get more of that when the job’s done.” Then he dissolved into smoke and disappeared.

  I didn’t want the money. For a long time, I couldn’t even look at it. What am I doing? Nothing I haven’t done countless times before. Just killing a vamprye. And a half. My stomach twisted in knots and I felt sick. This time, it wasn’t the alcohol.

  Chapter 9

  Jesu and Maria left to work on preparations. I went over the plan again in my mind, but I couldn’t focus. There were too many holes that none of us could fill. What if the wind blew the smoke in the wrong direction? What if the Crone came instead of Valafar? I was hoping Valafar would want Nikolas’ cash badly enough to convince the Crone to let him take down Apollyon. The Crone had her own agenda, and so far it included keeping me alive, but I didn’t know for what purpose, or for how long. I had no leverage, no information, no clue how to sway her. If she showed up in the woods—with or without her lackey—I was screwed.

  Maybe I should bring an apple.

  I went to the bathroom, grabbed the pregnancy test applicators and box, and shoved them to the bottom of the trash bin. This has to be a mistake. The test had to have malfunctioned. Because the alternative meant that the Crone knew I was pregnant before I did.

  The scent of nitrogen filled the air. I left the bathroom just as Maria came through the bedroom door. “You have an appointment with Dr. Gordon in the city tomorrow.”

  I blinked at her. “A human doctor?”

  “Of course not. Dr. Gordon is one of our kind. I talked to Nikolas. He’s preparing a driver to drop you off at the south end of Wildpark, just outside Glossen tomorrow night. I told him you and I will pick up the Adders Tongue in town.”

  “So he won’t suspect the appointment,” I said.

  She nodded. “Exactly. Oh, and one more thing…” Maria tilted her head to the side, as though listening to something that wasn’t in the room. She grimaced and then lowered her voice. “I explained to Nikolas about this.” She held out her palm and a sheet of paper materialized. My breath hitched at the signatures scrawled neatly over the page. Nikolas der Wölfe, Cecelia der Wölfe, Brinnon der Wölfe, Sara der Wölfe. Next to them was a clean, thin line where my signature would go. “Sign it quickly.” Maria dug a pen out of her pocket. “This is what you wanted, remember?”

  She was right, I asked for the whole thing. I grabbed the pen and paper and laid it on the nightstand. Holding my breath, I pressed the inky tip to the page and drew my name in shaky hesitant cursive.

  Ema ta Korento

  I didn’t breathe again until it was over. My hands trembled and I felt light-headed, but it was done. I had signed away my soul. “Jesu’s going to hate me.”

  Maria came to my side and touched a finger to the paper. It dematerialized into a billion invisible particles that she no doubt held onto with her essence for safekeeping. “Nikolas promised to keep a low profile around Prince Jesu for now, but, Ema, the rest of his family will be here in few weeks to meet you. I advise you work out this issue with Jesu before then.”

  “Yeah,” I murmured.

  “I’ll meet you in the foyer tomorrow. Four o’clock sharp.” She went to the door, then paused and glanced over her shoulder. “By the way, Jesu could never hate you, darling. Not in a million years.”

  I smiled, but my heart wasn’t in it. “Thank you, Maria. For everything.”

  After she left, I decided to take a shower. I needed a moment to absorb everything that had happened in the past very short twenty-four hours. I’d just started soaking my hair when the bedroom door latch clicked and Jesu’s scent filled the room. His steps hit the marble floor as he came to the bathroom entrance and flung the brocade curtain aside.

  “Maria got a ride set up,” I said, over the stream of water. “How’s everything on your end?”

  The shower curtain parted and a very naked blue man stepped inside. His grin dimpled his left cheek. “All set.”

  I nodded while turning away from him to face the faucet. I wasn’t in the mood for shower sex, which was weird. I chalked it up to Bridget’s stupid warning getting under my skin. “Don’t make zee same mistake I did, Ema. Don’t drag this out when you already know it can’t last. Walk away, before you both get hurt.”

  Jesu wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pressed his bare chest against my back. I could hardly feel the water pelting my body, but where his skin touched mine, an inner fire erupted. I closed my eyes and sighed. Too late. If Bridget was right, then this was going to hurt like hell no matter what.

  Jesu kissed the top of my head and then rested his chin on my shoulder. “Are you certain we need the incubus?”

  “Valafar is strong enough to end Apollyon in an instant. No one would get hurt. Yes, I’m certain.” I turned and pushed my hand against his chest, feeling his firm muscles. It was difficult not to succumb to his beauty, especially
when he stood naked and erect right in front of me, but I persisted. He took the hint and stepped back, letting his arms fall to his sides. I faced the shower head and went back to soaking my hair.

  “You are mad at me,” he said.

  “No.”

  “About earlier. The scar thing.”

  “No.”

  Jesu sighed. “Ema, you know I am not upset at you… right?”

  “Hmm?”

  “It is just that it drives me crazy. The fact that my father touched you, had his hands on you…” Jesu lifted his hand to brush his fingers over my shoulder, but I shrugged away. His tone lowered to a breathy hiss. “My brother, too. I hate that they both have been inside you.”

  I winced. “Thanks for making me sound like a slut.”

  “That is not what I meant.”

  I faced him. “Maria and I are going to a clinic tomorrow. I could get an abortion, you know.”

  His gaze darkened. “Would you?”

  I glanced at the floor. “Do you want me to?”

  “No.”

  “But it would make everything so much easier.”

  Jesu was silent for a moment. Then he took my chin in his hand and tilted my head upward, so he could look me in the eyes. “Life is not easy, Ema. I know you want to keep it.”

  “That doesn’t mean I should.”

  “It is exactly why you should. You deserve happiness.”

  “A baby is supposed to make me happy?”

  He smiled. “You said you never had much of a family growing up. Now you get to make one.”

  And then abandon it, I thought. “I’m so terrified that I’ll screw up.”

  Jesu chuckled. “You? Screw up? Never.”

  I swatted at him. “I’m serious.”

  He rubbed his thumb along my cheek, peeling a lock of wet hair out of my face. “So am I.” Jesu closed the gap between us and pressed his lips to my forehead. “We will get Valafar to defeat my father and you will have the family you always wanted. I promise.”

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

  “I’m not.” His mouth brushed mine in a careful kiss and then he lingered, just an inch away, silently seeking permission to continue. For a moment, I forgot about warnings and premonitions and what-if’s. For a moment, I was just a woman in love with a man. I lifted my hands to his neck and pushed onto my toes, planting the deepest kiss I could muster onto his yearning lips. Jesu dug his fingers into my wet hair and kissed me back. Love exploded in my chest, but my mind wouldn’t stay silent. Jesu saw me giving birth in a vision, and now I was pregnant. He saw a human woman battle Apollyon, but now I was a vampyre. A whimper caught in my throat and our passion melted into a desperate mess.

  A kiss good-bye.

  I pushed away and hiccupped while biting back the urge to sob.

  Jesu leveled his gaze with mine, his brow tight. “Ema, what’s wrong?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing, I just…” Damn, how was I supposed to say this? Jesu, I’m not the girl in your vision. Jesu, it’s not me you love. My heart ached just thinking about it. I bit my lip and looked away.

  “Ema?”

  “I’m sorry, I just… I just can’t.”

  I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my torso. Jesu didn’t follow as I left the bathroom, and I couldn’t bear to look back.

  Chapter 10

  I sat on the raised medical chair, wearing a flimsy green cotton gown and white socks. The rest of my clothes sat in a neat pile on a plastic chair, next to Maria and Jesu, along with my sunglasses. The nurse dimmed the lights for us. Other than the lighting, Dr. Gordon’s clinic looked like any other in the world, with off-white walls and a framed poster of the food pyramid.

  I hadn’t expected Jesu to come with. He’d been quiet and distant since I left him standing in the shower. I didn’t blame him. Part of me welcomed the space. It made it easier to wallow. Yet, when I went to meet Maria in the foyer, Jesu stood there waiting with her. I didn’t press him about it. I was glad he came. I needed the moral support, even if it was shrouded in an awkward silence.

  The door opened and a tall, immaculate woman in a white coat entered. She held a file in her hand and her gaze lifted from the page.

  “Ema?”

  “You’re Dr. Gordon?” I asked.

  She smiled. “That’s what they tell me.”

  I liked her.

  “Go ahead and put your feet in the stirrups and lie back. Should I kick your friends out?”

  Maria and Jesu tensed.

  I smirked and shook my head. “They can stay.”

  She nodded and then opened a drawer to pull out a phallic-shaped wand attached to a wire, and a tube of lubricant.

  “Wait a second, what exactly is the plan here, doc?”

  Dr. Gordon grinned while placing a plastic sanitary wrap over the wand. “If you are pregnant, you’re not far along enough for me to use an outer transducer. Your baby would be smaller than a pea, so I need to get inside to see it.”

  I gulped and did my best to settle back in the chair.

  The doctor pressed a few buttons on the CPU and then turned on the monitor. A few minutes later, she had the probe in. A strange sound came over the CPU speakers. It reminded me of waves crashing against a cliff.

  Dr. Gordon noticed my confusion. “That’s what the inside of a uterus sounds like.”

  “It’s loud,” I said.

  Jesu and Maria both leaned forward and squinted at the screen. I couldn’t look. I kept my eyes glued to the ceiling and reminded myself to breathe. “So… anything yet?”

  “Mmm… Aha! There’s the little critter.”

  Suddenly, the white-rapids sound gave way to a heartbeat. I might have argued that the probe picked up my pulse by mistake, except my heart stopped just then. I looked at Maria. She held a hand over her mouth, but I could see the smile behind it. It crinkled the corners of her glimmering dark eyes. Then I glanced at Jesu. His gaze widened in astonishment, like a child seeing snow for the first time.

  I sucked in a deep breath and then turned my head to face the monitor. The picture was gray and fuzzy, and I didn’t understand it. “I… I don’t see anything.”

  Dr. Gordon pointed to the screen with a red laser and circled a cluster of raspberry-shaped bubbles. “Right there.”

  “That doesn’t look like a baby.”

  She chuckled. “It will soon. Look… there’s its heart.” She pointed to a tiny pulsing sliver slotted between the bubbles. It beat in time with the thumping sound that filled the room. “Congratulations, Ema. You’re officially expecting.”

  I was so beside myself, I could have wept. Except I couldn’t, because I was a vampyre.

  A hand covered mine, and I glanced over to see Jesu standing beside me. He half-smiled, but his gaze was dark and unreadable. I wanted to know so badly what went through his mind. Probably hurtful things. Jesu must hate that I carried his brother’s child, but he was right. I did want it. I loved it.

  Three hours later, we arrived at the castle with two ten-pound bags of Adders Tongue, a jar of prenatal vitamins, a dozen or so pamphlets about natural birth, and strict orders from the doctor against phasing. Maria kept the baby stuff invisible. Once we were back in my guest room, she hid the vitamins and pamphlets in a drawer in the wardrobe.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  She nodded. “Are you sure you want to go through with this? Getting Valafar’s help?”

  “He won’t hurt me.”

  “I know. If he wanted to, he would have already. The car will be waiting for you out front at sundown. Do be careful, Ema.”

  I hugged her. She startled for a moment, then gently hugged back. Bridget can go screw herself. Maria’s not my enemy. I knew it in my heart.

  Maria broke away and glanced at Jesu. “Take care of her.”

  He nodded, and she left.

  “Want to go over the plan again?” I sighed.

  Jesu shook his head. “The less you know, the more real it w
ill seem.”

  “Okay.”

  He closed the gap between us. I thought he might kiss me—which wasn’t unwanted, but definitely unwise. Instead, he grabbed my hand and placed a small object into my palm. It smelled like metal and plastic. Jesu closed my fingers around the object before I could see what it was. “Focus on the mission, Ema. Worry about the incubus.”

  He let go and then turned away, heading for the door. “I will see you there,” he said, before leaving the room.

  I opened my hand and peered at the object. It was his lighter.

  I watched through the tinted window of a black Volkswagen as the German countryside grew dense with thick trees. The Volkswagen had leather interior. It looked new and expensive, a luxury vehicle. The driver, who was a vampire, even wore a suit.

  The end of the tree line came into view and the driver pulled the car over to the side of the road. He glanced at my reflection in the rearview mirror, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. He knew his part, and I knew mine. I sucked in a breath, tugged the hem of my jacket, and then opened the passenger door.

  Wildpark was a forest preserve located just north of a town called Glossen. My hair frizzed in the muggy summer air, and anyone who saw me would immediately suspect the jacket. Fortunately, not many people frequented the woods at this hour of the night, and I needed the extra pockets to carry the Adders Tongue. I stepped out of the Volkswagen, closed the door, and then pulled the hood over my hair. I trekked down the sloping hill of grass, away from the road, into the shrubbery. A dirt path cut through the forest a few yards away, probably for hikers. I decided to avoid it. I was a vampyre, I could brave a few ticks and poison oak.

  The treetops blocked most of the sky and shadows stretched in all directions. Not that they hindered my sight any. I could still see the vivid emerald color of the leaves as they rustled in the breeze, the magnified detail of their veins, the very pattern of their cell walls, not unlike a fingerprint.

  The air smelled of sap, earth, rodents, and birds. The crunch of twigs beneath my sneakers silenced the animals, but I could point them out simply by listening to their heartbeats. They smelled delicious, and the thought of fresh warm blood jostled the urge to hunt.