“I guess.” At least it would keep my mind occupied for a few hours. “I don’t have any clothes here though.” I could almost see the effort it took Corin not to make a suggestive comment but to his credit, he kept his mouth shut.
“That’s OK, I can lend you something,” Inés offered. “Corin, what is it you’re doing?”
“Well I am certainly not going out in this weather,” he grimaced and for a moment I hoped he’d call it off. “So I’ve set things up in the barn for today. I thought we could just go over what I taught you in the summer for this morning. See if you have remembered everything or perhaps even learnt anything new. Does that suit you?” He looked at me enquiringly and I sighed.
“Yeah, fine, whatever. Inés can you lend me something then?”
“Oui, I have the very thing.” She went off to rummage in her bedroom as Corin let himself out. A few moments later Inés returned wielding two small scraps of material.
“What the hell’s that?”
“Shorts and a T-shirt.”
I snatched the shorts from her and held them up. “Barely!”
“Don’t be such a prude, they’re cute.”
I flung them down on the table in disgust. “I’m not wearing them.” The thought of wrestling with Corin wearing just that made me very nervous.
“Alors, it’s that or a leotard, take your pick.”
I looked at her in amazement. “When the bloody hell have you ever worn a leotard?”
“Mind your own business.”
“Oh come on, Inés, surely you’ve got some leggings or something? I can’t face him wearing that!”
She folded her arms and scowled at me. “Non, that’s it. It’s that or the clothes you were wearing.
“Well I’m not doing it then.”
“D’accord, I’m sure Cain will completely understand.”
Crap.
I looked at the shorts in disgust and snatched them up along with the strappy top. I’d slept in my clothes and had no intention of getting up close to anyone in them. They probably stank of wolf apart from anything else.
“Wait a minute.” I paused with my foot on the stairs. “You said you wouldn’t be here and you are, you can come and watch the training.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Non, I can’t, I have better things to do and besides, who is it you want supervised, you or Corin?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Inés, he’s impossible. I think I preferred it when he was trying to deceive me now he’s being very clear about what it is he wants.”
She started pottering about the kitchen making coffee and grinned at me as she took the coffee grinder down from the cupboard. “What can I say, you’re a lucky girl.”
I rolled my eyes at her and she shook her head at me as the smell of coffee filled the room. “Come off it, Jéhenne, if you weren’t even a little bit tempted you wouldn’t be so worried about being alone with him.”
I snorted at her ridiculous accusation and went upstairs to get changed. Tugging at the shorts to try and get them to cover a bit more of my thighs with little success, I regretfully dismissed the idea of changing back into my muddy jeans and ran from the cottage to the barn with gooseflesh creeping over me as the rain pattered on my skin.
By the time I burst into the barn I was shivering, but to my surprise it was warm and bright inside. Corin had covered the floor with mats, as he had done in the summer, and at each corner of the open space was a large stone that appeared to be white hot and was throwing off enough light to brighten the room and also to heat the barn to a comfortable temperature. It was a neat trick, though I wasn’t about to tell him that.
He had changed into a pair of loose sweat pants that rode low on his hips, and a fitted vest, and no, I did not notice that he looked good. Not at all. He was stretching, one arm reaching down behind his head and his eyes widened as he saw me come in.
I pointed at him and scowled. “One word, Corin, one bloody word and I’m out that door.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said, though a smile flickered at his lips as his eyes lingered on Inés’ stupid outfit. I tugged at the shorts self-consciously as he walked slowly towards me, or perhaps prowled would have been a better description of the way he moved. “You’d best warm up then.”
I nodded as I tied my hair up in a ponytail and then went through my usual stretching routine, though frankly the feel of his gaze on me was making me warmer than anything I was doing. I finished and met his eyes, daring him to say something outrageous and give me an excuse to leave. Unfortunately he decided to behave himself.
“Well then, my dear, you know the drill. Let’s see if you’ve remembered anything at all, and this time I’m not going to go so easy on you.”
I raised my eyebrows, astonished that he could say such a thing. “Easy? Corin, I was black and blue the whole summer.”
“Really?” He frowned. “You never said so. I would have healed any injuries had you told me.”
I shrugged. “Well it was only bruises and I didn’t know that. You can heal people?”
He circled behind me and laid his hand on the back of my neck. “Yes, you must tell me if you are hurt.”
I ducked away from his touch and backed away from him. “I’ll bear it in mind.”
He chuckled and followed me around the mats. “Well come on then, Jéhenne, what are you waiting for? I want you to have me flat on my back, and you can’t use magic.” His eyes twinkled mischievously. “Though if you don’t want to use force, I can think of an easy way to accomplish this.”
“Don’t start,” I snapped at him but he just grinned and crooked his finger at me. This was how he had begun our training last year and I’d spent a great deal of time staring at the barn roof. Towards the end of the summer I had finally managed to knock him down a couple of times but it hadn’t been easy.
Ten seconds later and I was looking at the rafters with a feeling of inevitability. He stood over me, an amused look in his eyes and held out his hand. I took it and he hauled me to my feet.
“Again.”
Forty minutes on and I was sweating and gasping for breath and had a nasty suspicion that I was a deep shade of beetroot. The bastard just wouldn’t go down.
“Bloody hell, how did I manage to do this last time?” I demanded and he laughed.
“Because I let you.”
“What?”
He shrugged. “You needed a confidence boost, I gave it to you.”
“Shit!” I rolled my eyes. “Then what is the bloody point?”
He just looked at me and grinned and I was overwhelmed with annoyance. I lunged for him again but this time I brought the magic rushing to my fingers so that I burned him when my hands made contact with his bare skin. He yelled with pain, caught off guard, and hit the floor heavily with me pinning him down by the wrists and sprawled across his chest.
I stared down at him, triumphant even though I’d cheated, and he looked back, golden eyes filled with laughter. “Finally.” He chuckled.
“What do you mean?” I gasped, breathing heavily from the exertion.
“You used your magic.”
I frowned. “You wanted me to?”
He raised his eyebrows, looking surprised. “Yes, of course.”
“But ... But you said no magic!”
He moved suddenly and flipped me so that I was lying beneath him and my breath caught in my throat. “Jéhenne, I am bigger and stronger than you. Why on earth would you not use every advantage you have?”
“Because you told me not to!” I yelled and he shook his head.
“Don’t ever play fair, my dear, not if you really want to win.” He shifted, forcing my legs apart with his knee and suddenly the weight of his body was on me, as his hands held my arms down. There was the most incredible feeling thrumming over me where his hands were touching my bare skin, it was electric, making my blood feel like it was pulsing with power, magic surging through my veins, and I knew he felt it too as I watched his eyes dark
en. His thumb moved, caressing the underside of my wrist and the feeling intensified, my skin felt strangely alive, over sensitive and aware of the slightest touch, aware of every part of his hard body as it pressed against mine.
“Stop that,” I said, alarmed to hear the tremble in my voice but my heart was beating way too fast. Magic, I assured myself, he was using some kind of magic on me. Damn but it felt good.
I began to be afraid of what that feeling might lead to. “Get off me!” I struggled but he held me firm, his head lowering towards me. We were both breathing heavily now and suddenly it had nothing to do with the work out. I turned my face away as his mouth got closer and instead felt his lips make contact with my neck. They were warm and soft and sent a jolt of sensation from where his mouth touched me to every nerve ending in my body. Panic gripped me and I sent out a blast of magic. Corin swore as the flames scorched him and he leapt away.
I sat up, still breathing heavily and watched him. He was inspecting a nasty burn with a smile. “Do you think Inés has anything to heal this?” He turned his hand to show me.
“I thought you could heal?” I smirked at him.
“Not myself sadly.”
I shrugged. “You asked for it.”
He nodded, looking at me with a measuring expression. “Indeed I did, I only wonder why it took you so long to react, you knew full well what I was about.” He gave me a sly smile and elegantly got to his feet, holding out his good hand to help me up. I ignored it and got up by myself.
“I’ve had enough of your training for one day,” I said in disgust and walked away from him.
“Jéhenne,” he called and I paused but didn’t turn around. “We both know there is something between us. There is really no point in denying it.”
“Only because you used some tricky fae magic, you bastard, and if you try that again I’ll do worse than burn you.”
“I did no such thing.”
I turned to see him smiling at me and looking unbearably pleased with himself. “There were no tricks there, Jéhenne, I used no magic on you. That was just you and me, you have my word of honour.” He held my eyes and walked over to where I was standing. I stood frozen to the spot with anxiety building in my chest, as I knew he was telling me the truth. He leaned towards me, his mouth close to my ear, and spoke quietly. “An interesting reaction from one who feels nothing for me.”
I felt a shiver run down my spine. Shit. What the bloody hell was I going to do?
I clenched my fists and stared back at him with fury, the smug bastard. “Go to hell, Corin.” I walked out but knew without having to turn and look that he was still bloody smiling.
Chapter 14
By the time I had showered again and gotten dressed, Corin had gone and I breathed a sigh of relief. Inés had made me lunch and I sat with her at the table as she tried to make conversation but my head was somewhere else entirely. She gave up in the end, and just sighed over the pitiful amount I’d eaten. Bearing in mind she’d put out enough food to feed a battalion of hungry men I thought I’d done pretty well but I wasn’t going to stuff myself to keep her happy. I couldn’t do the button up on the jeans she’d lent me as it was, a fact which annoyed me enormously.
I helped her clear the table and wash up and we fell easily back into the familiar routine that we had found over the months I had lived here. I could feel her eyes on me, watching, but if she had questions she kept them to herself, and I was grateful for that.
I wondered if I would have the nerve to return to the chateau tonight, but I knew in my heart that I wouldn’t. I was going to try and contact him though, through the connection we shared. At least then if he slammed the door in my face it would only be in my head and there would be no audience to humiliate me. The fact that he’d done that to me in front of Lucas still burned with a white hot pain that seemed to numb everything else. I wondered again about the blonde he had been feeding from, had he taken her to his bed? The thought made me feel sick with jealousy and yet how could I blame him if he had? Wasn’t I preparing to do something far worse?
“Alors, I have some work to do, do you want to give me a hand?” Inés’ voice tore me away from such uncomfortable thoughts and I nodded.
“Sure, I’ll help. I just have something to do first, be down in a minute.”
She nodded and headed into the herb room and I worked quickly, gathering up the items I needed. I climbed up to my bedroom and began to arrange the small bedside table to create a makeshift altar. I placed a candle in the centre and set out a small cup of wine, poured a little salt into a dish and arranged a pencil and paper, and a metal dish in the remaining space.
I looked at the candle and the wick spluttered to life, bright in the dim light of my room. I called to the four elements to be present and felt the usual prickle at the back of my neck as the magic entered the room and cast a circle around me. Once the circle was in place I took a moment to concentrate on my breathing and relaxed into the frame of mind that would allow me to follow my ritual. It had become a time of peace, a thing that I needed to do at some point, in what had become the chaos of my daily life. It kept me sane. Well, barely.
I called to Hekatê, giving up my offerings and assuring her of my loyalty, my acceptance of her gift of the key and my intention to return it to her. As usual, and just as it had been since I had completed her task and destroyed Tacitus, Hekatê was silent. I smothered a jolt of annoyance. Corvus had told me I was foolish if I had ever expected thanks from a goddess. He said being ignored was the biggest thanks you could hope for. I had a suspicion he was absolutely right but it still galled me that I had risked my life and the lives of the people I cared about, and she couldn’t be arsed to at least stop by and thank me.
I breathed deep, ridding myself of such irritations and then wrote on the piece of paper a request, a prayer, a plea for help with the situation I had found myself in, and touched the paper to the flame. The bright light ate away at the paper, and I held it over the bowl, watching as it curled and blackened, the ash tumbling down as smoke curled and gathered within the circle.
Once done, I thanked Hekatê for her attention, or lack of it. I thanked the elements before dismissing them and snuffed out the candle.
I felt calmer again. I didn’t know whether it was simply the familiarity of the routine, the exercise of breathing deeply and casting out the stresses of the day, at least momentarily, or the connection with Hekatê herself that always gave me such a feeling of peace but it inevitably worked, at least temporarily.
I went into the herb room and my sense of calm deepened as I was enveloped in the aura that surrounded Inés as she worked. The sweet scent of magic and herbs filled the room as candles flickered on the work surfaces. Magic often made the electricity trip out so we always worked by candle light. Outside the rain still pattered down against the windows and the trees bowed in the icy winter wind, but in here it was warm and peaceful. The astringent smell of rosemary rose up as Inés began grinding her ingredients together with a pestle and mortar.
“What do you want me to do?”
She looked up and smiled. “There’s some willow over there, can you prepare it to make tea, s’il te plâit. One of the neighbour's girls has just started her monthlies and she’s snapping at everyone like a caged bear.”
“OK, want me to add some Motherwort, to be sure?”
She nodded, not looking up from her work. “Oui, a good idea, there’s some dried on the second shelf there.”
I took the jar down and set it on the workbench in front of me and then began to prepare the willow by stripping off the bark from the thin stems. The smell was fresh and earthy and reminded me strongly of Corin. I frowned, annoyed that he had found his way into my thoughts and tried to regain my feeling of calm. “Did you see Phil?” I asked Inés, trying to distract myself from what thinking of him would inevitably lead to.
“Oui, I did, and he brought Georgette. It was good to see her again. Merci, Nina, it means a lot to know she is safe, I h
ave known her for a very long time.”
“How long?”
She shrugged and looked up, pushing her thick black hair behind her ears. “I first met her when she was your age I guess, as was I, at least I looked it at that point.”
The little strips of willow bark were growing in front of me, the repetition of the work comforting. “You were friends then?”
She hesitated. “I was her friend. At least, I hope I was.”
I frowned at her, looking up from my work. “She wasn’t yours?”
She sighed and picked up a mug of coffee that was sitting beside her. “She was in as much as she could be but you must know by now how hard it is to have a friend who only knows a superficial amount of your life, the part of it you can show them is such a small part of the whole. They can never really know or understand your life, who you are. It is really rather a one sided affair in many ways but ... But I enjoyed her company and she was kind to me when Adrian died. I won’t forget that.”
I nodded, knowing only too well what she meant, and she looked at me as she sipped her coffee, catching my troubled expression. “It is part of the price we pay, Nina, we have great advantages over the human world but we must pay for that.”
I looked down at the little pile of bare twigs in front of me, stripped clean. They were pale and smooth. “Is it worth it?” I didn’t look up, didn’t need to see the expression on her face.
“Sometimes. Other times, not so much.”
“Did you ever wish ...?” I paused, wondering if I really wanted to hear the answer to this question. "Did you ever wish you had made a different choice, that you hadn’t chosen to be immortal but human, like Mum did?”
“Of course.” She smiled at the surprise she saw in my eyes as I turned to her, I had always thought that Inés relished what she was. “In part it is simply natural to want what you can’t have. Just as your Mother will occasionally wish for immortality as her age comes on her, so I have wished for an end to it and ... And when Adrian died, I longed for it. It is hard to live without the one you love.”
The Heart of Arima. Page 11