The Heart of Arima.

by Emma V. Leech

  I struggled against him, terror humming in my blood. The thought of having to be with this man, this creature for all eternity ... of having to please him ... Oh dear God, I couldn’t do it! I steeled myself. I had promised I would not make this easy for him, there had to be a way.

  “Who am I then? You said you knew my true name, who am I that I am deserving of a place at your side? I am simply a witch, nothing more than that. Why does a god want me so badly?”

  “Oh no, my love, I think that is information I will keep to myself for the moment ...in case you have any ideas about using the power against me, but then you wouldn’t do such a thing to me would you, sweet Jenny?” He laughed and the sound made me shiver. He pressed himself hard against me and kissed down my neck and along my collar bone. My heart thudded with disgust, his touch was horribly familiar and I hated him so badly for that.

  “You’re pathetic, you know that don’t you? I have given myself to Corvus, loved him, over two lifetimes. I would do anything for him, to be with him, and yet not once has he had to resort to force to get me into his bed.”

  His hand came out of nowhere and slapped my face so hard that I felt my ears ring and my teeth rattle. He let go of my other wrist and I slid down the wall to the floor, tears streaming from my eyes as the skin on my face burned.

  I spat blood at his feet and watched him flinch in disgust. “I thought you said you wouldn’t hurt me?”

  “I also told you I would not tolerate your behaviour any more.” He bent down and grabbed my chin, wrenching my neck up so I would look at him. “Get whatever it is the angel wants and get it fast. I will protect you from Hekatê until you have done so and then I will come for you. Mark my words carefully, my love, do not consider delaying your trip or finding ways to evade me or I promise your friends will suffer the consequences of your actions.” His face softened and he sighed, cupping my face with his free hand. “Look what you have made me do, little one. Do try and behave yourself. I have no desire to hurt you but I have been more than patient. If I do not bring you to heel now, it makes me look weak. You do see that, don’t you?” He bent down and planted a soft kiss on my lips and it was all I could do not to spit in his face, but I wasn’t too eager to have a matching black eye the other side. Instead I wiped my mouth on my sleeve in disgust and confined myself to glaring at him with fury burning in my heart. “I am waiting, Jenny. Do not disappoint me.”

  I was looking at empty space.

  I could taste blood in my mouth and my eye was swelling shut. I thought about calling for Rodney or Cain but what was the point? Cain might be able to fix my bruises but what could they do to help me? What could anyone do? Instead I lay on the floor and wished I could simply cease to exist.

  Chapter 44

  I lay there, too numb to move and by the time Rodney came looking for me my eye had swollen shut and the whole side of my face was throbbing.

  I’d never seen Rodney angrier about anything in my life. He’d taken me down to the kitchen cursing Dis Pater to hell in more colourful language than I’d ever heard, which, considering I'd lived with Inés, was saying something. In the end I told him to stop. I wouldn’t put it past the bastard to listen in on me and I didn’t want Rodney to get in the line of fire, things were bad enough already.

  “I don’t care if the arse’ole can hear me, he’s a friggin’ coward. Comin’ ‘ere an’ knocking you about ... Wait ‘till Corvus hears about this ...”

  “No!” I shook my head which made my face throb harder. “You need to find Cain so he can fix it. I don’t want Corvus to know.”

  “What you on about, why not?”

  “There is nothing that he can do. He can’t fight a god and neither can I ...at least, not yet.”

  “Yet?” he queried,

  “Dis Pater said he knew my true name, the name that I had been known by before I became Jéhnina. He said I was known and feared and that he wouldn’t tell me in case I used the power against him.”

  He widened his eyes. “So if you knew it, you could stand up to him?”

  I nodded. “I think so.”

  “So how do we find out what it is?”

  “We don’t, Rodney, I do. I have to go with him.” Rodney started shaking his head but I spoke before he opened his mouth. “Listen to me, there is no choice, he will take me anyway. If Corvus or Cain or anyone get in his way he’ll ... Well I don’t know. I’d say he’d kill them but frankly I think it would be rather worse than that. I can’t risk it. If I go with him, if I pretend to be willing, maybe he’ll trust me, maybe I can find out who I am and use the power to bring me back here. You have to explain it to Corvus after I’m gone. Make sure he doesn’t do anything--anything stupid.” I stopped talking as my voice broke and I refused to cry.

  I would have plenty of time for that once I was with Dis Pater. I wasn’t going to waste time on it now.

  Rodney knelt down in front of me, taking my hands in his. “I don’t think he’ll be able to cope, Jéhenne, knowing you’re with him. It’ll drive him crazy.”

  I shook my head, unable to look up and meet his eyes. “He’ll have to. He has to be strong ...for me. I can’t do it unless I know he’s here waiting for me. I will come back, Rodney, I swear it. Nothing will stop me. If I have to kill the bloody creature with my bare hands, I swear I’ll find a way.” I bit my lip, determined not to start crying but then Rodney started, big tears splashing down his face.

  “I don’t want yer to go, Jéhenne. You can’t ... You can’t leave us all. He’ll go insane, an’ I’m gonna miss yer so much.”

  “Oh!” I sobbed, throwing my arms around him. “Dammit, Rodney, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.”

  “Bleedin’ ell, Jéhenne, if you can’t cry at somethin’ like this ...” He shook his head. We were wrapped together in the kitchen, sobbing our hearts out when Dimitri came in.

  “What? What is this ... Why you cry?” asked the big man, looking from Rodney to me and gasping in horror when he saw my battered face. “Who? Who did this? I will kill him. Was a man, no? I will tear him limb from limb ...chop off his arms ... What bastard man do such a thing? Tell me now!”

  “Weren’t no man, Dimitri, was a bleedin god. Dis Pater, he did it.”

  “Rodney!” I snapped. “I don’t want Corvus finding out remember.”

  “A god ... Bah!” Dimitri spat on the floor in disgust. “I might have known. Bastard gods ... Dimitri, he hates ‘em. They take from me, take my Llimi, but I will get her back one day, I make him pay. Bastard!”

  “Dis Pater took your ... Who?" I asked.

  “My wife, Llimi. It not Dis Pater, another bastard god!” He spat again and I made a mental note to have a go round with the mop later. “Is why I come with you, to underworld. I take revenge on the gods where I can. My boys they stay here, help protect family while Corvus gone.”

  “Oh, I see. I’m so sorry, Dimitri.”

  He shrugged and then pulled out a hanky the size of a table cloth before bursting into tears.

  “Oh bleedin’ ‘ell, Jéhenne, now yer done it.”

  Rodney went and gave Dimitri a hug and that set him off again and suddenly all three of us were crying our eyes out.

  “What in damnation is going on?” demanded Cain when he stepped into the kitchen a few moments later. “I can hear you lot blubbing at the other end of the chateau!” Then he caught sight of me and his face set.“Dis Pater?”

  I nodded. “How did you know?”

  He grimaced and went to get out the huge first aid kit, which had become a permanent fixture in the kitchen since he had arrived. “Anyone else and you’d have asked me to bury the body.”

  I laughed. “Good to know you think I could take anyone else.”

  He looked at me with his empty eyes, all humour gone now. “I know you could, if you had to.” He ushered Rodney and Dimitri out of the way so he could brew something to fix my face while they began squabbling about whether or not a nice hot cup of sweet tea or a tot of demon brew was better tr
eatment for a nasty shock.

  “She needs a cuppa, right? Everyone knows you drink tea with loadsa sugar in when you’ve ‘ad a shock.”

  Dimitri shook his head and brandished a bottle of black liquid at Rodney. “No, is brew ... Much more good. Puts fire in the blood!”

  “Puts fire in yer bleedin’ guts more like,” muttered Rodney.

  “You say my brew no good? OK, I take. You never see again, you no like my brew ... Is OK. I leave now.” Dimitri left in the fashion of all good drama queens with Rodney rushing after him.

  “Aww, Dimitri, don’t be like that ... Bleedin’ ‘ell I didn’t mean it.”

  I heard their voices disappear down the corridor as Cain approached me with some foul smelling liquid.

  “Doesn’t look like you’re getting tea or brew.”

  “Thank heaven for small mercies." I tried a half-hearted smile but it hurt too much.

  He squeezed my shoulder, which was the closest thing Cain could get to a hug, and began applying the potion to my face. It hissed as it made contact with my skin and stung like the devil.

  “It will be better soon,” he assured me as he gently dabbed all around my eye. “What did Dis Pater say to you, Jéhenne?”

  I explained to him what had happened. “He said that I was known in the underworld, known and feared. If I knew who I was ... If I could get that power back…” I knew Cain didn’t need me to explain it any further. His brow furrowed as he considered the implications. “Have you ever heard anything about this? Any rumours?”

  He shook his head. “Information about you has been almost impossible to get. People either physically couldn’t tell me or were just too bloody terrified. I think Dis Pater forbade your name to be spoken and had someone cast a spell on those who couldn’t be frightened, so that they could not speak of you.”

  “Why Cain? Why all this?”

  “You belonged to him. As far as he was concerned you were his property and not only that you were supposed to be in love with him. Imagine the humiliation for a god to discover that he has been dumped in favour of a mortal man.”

  “You mean he’s doing all of this because he’s got a bruised ego?” I hissed in fury.

  He shrugged. “Perhaps. He’s a god, Jéhenne, what kind of ego do you think he has? Not to mention a very long memory.”

  “Don’t tell Corvus about this.” I gestured to my face. “I don’t want him to know.” He didn’t answer so I took it as his agreement. “How can we find out, Cain? Is there anything we can do?” I saw him hesitate and I grabbed his arm. “Tell me ... I’ll try anything, anything at all.”

  “He probably won’t do it anyway but ... But you could try and strike a deal with Sariel.”

  Of course! What an idiot, it hadn’t even occurred to me. “Brilliant, well when you’re done patching me up we’ll call him.”

  “No!”

  I looked at him in surprise. “Why not?”

  “I mean, you can call him. I won’t see him, Jéhenne." He was so adamant I wondered for a moment if he was afraid.

  “Why not?” I looked at him intently and found he wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Cain?”

  “When you soul is the colour of mine you do not rush headlong into meetings with angels, in fact they are best avoided at all costs.”

  “Oh.” I didn’t say anything else; I knew full well why his soul was so compromised and it was all done in my name, so what could I say? It would have been nice to have some back up to meet Sariel but I was a big girl now. I would do it alone.

  I guessed I’d have to get used to being alone soon anyway.

  Chapter 45

  OK, Jéhenne, you can do this. My heart was beating faster than normal; though normal for me was generally heart attack speed most of the time, so perhaps that wasn’t a fair description. Either way, trying to call up an angel was not a recipe for inducing feelings of calm and relaxation. I’d been in Sariel’s presence plenty of times now, and survived, but it didn’t make him any less terrifying. I was worried he might be pissed off with me for summoning him too. Angels could be touchy about things like that.

  Still, I tried to quiet my heart beat and concentrate on him, his image, his aura. It didn’t take long. There was a huge burst of power that felt like it stripped the skin from my bones and suddenly there he was, violet eyes blazing with indignation.

  “Sorry!” I squeaked and hit the deck, falling to my knees, head bowed, hands raised in supplication. “I’m sorry! I’ve never done that before ... I wasn’t sure how.”

  I heard him sigh and he shook out his wings, smoothing his ruffled feathers and sending books and magazines flying to the far side of the room. “Well the method was fine but there was no need to shout,” he said, head tilted to one side.

  Wait, did he just make a joke? I grinned nervously, just in case.

  “Now that you have ...summoned me, and I suggest you do not make a habit of it, what can I do for you?”

  I clambered up off the floor, while he regarded me with those disturbing eyes; I tried to remember what I’d been going to ask him.

  “Do you know who I am?”

  He raised his eyebrows.

  “I mean, who I really am, who I was before I left the underworld. When--when I was with Dis Pater. What is my true name, Sariel?”

  “Aaah.” He nodded. “Yes, Jéhenne, I know your true name.”

  I felt my heart leap. “You do? Oh, thank Go ... I mean thank goodness! What is it?”

  He shook his head and I thought he looked slightly regretful but my heart plummeted just as fast. “I cannot tell you.”

  “Cannot or will not?” I asked, fury overcoming good sense and his eyes hardened, making me shiver.

  “Cannot. Not that it matters, the outcome is the same. I cannot interfere between you and Dis Pater, it is forbidden.”

  I was so bitterly disappointed that I didn’t feel as afraid as I ought to have done, and fire flickered at my fingertips. “You were forbidden to help demons too as I remember, yet you saved Raphael. You seem to pick and choose which laws you want to break.”

  He raised his eyebrows and I thought I saw a smile flicker over his lips but it was too brief to be sure. “Yes. I suppose I do.”

  “You won’t help me then?”

  “I am sorry, Jéhenne.”

  I sat down on the bed, not caring if it pissed him off if I sat in his presence. “Yeah, I bet your heart just bleeds for me.”

  “I do not have a heart ... Remember?” His eyebrows quirked and I snorted in disgust.

  “Well now I believe you.” I put my head in my hands and when I looked up he had turned to look out the window. There was a streak of gold dust from his wings on the carpet. “I have to go get your damned heart," I said furiously. "Why can’t you do this for me, surely it’s not such a big deal?”

  He didn’t turn but carried on looking outside. I could see his reflection in the glass as the daylight was fading.

  “It is a far bigger deal than you imagine, and I cannot tell you. You however made a deal with me and you will keep it.” There was a tone in his voice that brooked no argument and even I wasn’t stupid enough to pursue it further. “You will survive, Jéhenne.”

  “I don’t want to survive. I want to live.”

  “You are stronger than you know.”

  “So everybody keeps telling me,” I said, clenching my fists. “Fat lot of good it does me though. I’m tired of being strong, of trying to be brave. What if I can’t do it, what then?”I stood up, holding onto the bedpost for support. “Can you end it?”

  He turned to look at me. “What are you asking?”

  “You know what I’m asking. If I can’t take anymore, can you kill me; finish everything. No afterlife, no Dis Pater, no more anything? Oblivion.”

  He nodded.

  “Would you?”

  “Yes. If that is what you wanted."

  I sighed. Shit, what kind of life was it where that was the best news you’d had all day?

  “O
K, well that was it.” I really wanted him gone now. My one and only ray of light had just been swallowed up by the darkness that had become my life and I just wanted to be alone and brood by myself. It was going to be one hell of a pity party.

  “Am I dismissed?” He looked annoyed but I thought there was a touch of amusement in his voice.

  “I’m sorry, Sariel. I don’t really know the etiquette for talking with angels, so you’ll have to forgive me, besides you’ve just confirmed my life is about to go down the toilet. I’m not really at my best.”

  He walked over to me and laid his hand on my head. Suddenly I was suffused with a feeling of absolute calm. It was the strangest feeling, like someone had illuminated me from the inside out. He removed his hand and the feeling diminished but it didn’t go away. I felt ...stronger, more able to cope. I could only pray it lasted.

  “What did you do?”

  He tilted his head to one side and I looked up into eyes that had been around since the beginning of time.

  “Put things in perspective. You have power, Jéhenne, use it.”

  He stepped away and out of the mortal world like he had stepped back through a wall of water. The room felt weird once he’d gone, charged somehow. It was dusk outside. Corvus should have been up so I went to find him. At least I felt able to see him now. Sariel hadn’t changed anything, my life was still about to go to hell and my heart would still shatter when I had to leave but I wasn’t going to break down and cry. Not yet at least.

  I made my way down the stairs and was barely half way when my arms began to sting. I could hear shouting coming from Corvus’ office. It sounded like he and Cain were having one hell of a discussion. I was just outside the door when suddenly everything went quiet and I strained my ears but could hear nothing. I wondered if maybe he’d heard me. It was pretty much impossible to creep up on a vampire but when I peeked through the door, which stood ajar, I could see Corvus at his desk. He had his head in his hands.

  “You agree then?” Cain said softly.