The Column Racer

by Jeffrey Johnson

  She heard shoes walk down the steps toward her. Areli forced herself not to look, hoping to convey she was hurt that she was the first one to get there. The footsteps were just near her.

  “It’s about time you got here!” said Areli turning around expecting Fides. But it wasn’t Fides. It was Yats.

  Areli didn’t know what to say. What to do. She looked up towards the top of the steps expecting that Fides might come down any moment, but no one was there. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked down at the ground.

  “Hey,” said Yats. She couldn’t look into his eyes. She couldn’t, she just couldn’t. Too late. She shouldn’t have looked. Those same feelings that she had with Talon rushed back to her, the feelings she wished she could crush. Maybe she could love someone other than Talon. Her heart pounded. Her lungs shrunk. This isn’t Talon, she reminded herself, this is Yats. “Have you seen Fides?” Yats looked up the steps as a small outpouring of servants walked down with platters of food. He seemed puzzled. “Are you meeting someone here?”

  “Something like that?”

  “I’m jealous,” said Yats, as the servants made a circle around them, carrying a platter in one hand and a lantern in the other. He looked back at Areli. She could feel her heart struggling to make a single beat as she looked back into his eyes. Why is she feeling like this? Talon doesn’t love you, Areli, she told herself, but Yats might. He might fall in love with you. He just might. It’s okay . . . these feelings. You don’t owe Talon anything. But you owe it to yourself to give Yats a chance.

  “Is this . . . is this for you and me?”

  “I don’t really know,” said Areli, her breaths running away from her, “maybe.” Yats rubbed his chin, and then gave a laugh. Which seemed to relax the tension in Areli. He put his hands on his hips, admired the scene, and then took his place opposite Areli. His smile was contagious. Give him a chance, Areli. Just give him a chance.

  Areli had asked her mother what it was like when she first had a date with her father. She had told her that it was as if the world were built for only two. That Areli’s father’s eyes were the only other eyes, his lips were the only other lips, his touch . . . Areli had to stop her mother there.

  Here in this moment, Areli tried to get lost in what her mother talked about. It wasn’t with the one she might have truly wanted. But at least it was with someone . . . someone that wanted her. She tried to picture this beautiful world for them. A world built for two. Talon will never be in this world, Areli, she told herself, he won’t share this with you. You tried. But he didn’t want to. Yats is here, Areli. Talon is never coming for you. Yats is here. She really didn’t even realize Yats motioning servants forward with the platters to dish plates. Yats would ask if there was something she wanted. Areli couldn’t speak, but nodded or shook her head. With full plates, they clanked glasses.

  “To us,” said Yats, “a wonderful season for each.” And then they started to eat. Well, Yats ate. Areli just poked at her food. She kept her eyes from straying away from him, wondering if he was the one. She had feelings for Yats. Intense feelings. But they didn’t come close to the ones she had for Talon. Maybe this was how love would be for her. Intense, but not overly intense. Passionate, but not excessively so. She would look away whenever he shifted his eyes onto her. The third time it happened, they both broke out into light laughter.

  “You can stare,” said Yats.

  “I wasn’t staring!”

  “I caught you!” exclaimed Yats with a wide smile, “like three times now.”

  “Like I said,” said Areli teasingly, “I wasn’t staring, but just watching how you eat your food. Wondering if I’m going to have to save you or not.” Yats almost lost the chicken he was chewing on.

  “I know,” said Yats, “but you caught me at a terrible time. After practice I’m sure I would eat a hole through a stone wall if someone told me there was food stuffed in there.”

  “I don’t know,” said Areli, “would your teeth be able to handle that?”

  “I guess there’s only one way to find out,” said Yats, “do you think there are stone fillets on any of those platters?”

  “I think that’s only a seasonal thing.”

  “What season is that again?”

  “I am sure I heard somewhere that stone is a summer delicacy – it goes great with the strawberry sauce.” Yats laughed and looked at Areli with affection in his eyes. This is good, Areli, she thought, this can work. It will work.

  The rest of the evening went smoothly. Light and airy conversation throughout. After the plates were cleared, Areli didn’t know if they had to leave. She would let Yats make the decision for her. He dismissed the servants, leaving them alone in the arena, with the only lights coming from the stars.

  “They’re beautiful, aren’t they,” said Yats, looking up at the stars. Areli forced herself to pull her eyes off him and admire what he was looking at. She still had her doubts about him, questioning if she would ever love him like she loved Talon. She looked up at the stars, grateful for the diversion. Something to free her mind from Yats, and from Talon. She had always loved looking at the stars. She spent her childhood looking at them. She breathed a wish upwards, towards them, and hoped that they would grant it to her.

  “I can think of only one other thing more beautiful,” said Yats, directing his gaze towards Areli. He gently slipped his fingers into hers. She looked at him, her heart pushing and bringing in blood with such force and speed she was sure her lungs wouldn’t be able to keep up. He leaned in. She closed her eyes. Their lips touched. And Areli felt like she had slipped into the night, floating amongst the stars. Weightless. Her breath gone. Her heart no longer hers. Talon, she thought. Yats released his lips. Areli reddened with guilt and embarrassment. Was this how love was going to be for her?

  “It’s you, Areli,” whispered Yats, so that the words danced on her lips, words she wished Talon would have told her, “you’re that one thing. I knew it the first day I saw you.” She pulled him to her, focusing with all her might on Yats. Talon will never come for you, Areli, she scolded herself, but Yats will. You can love him. You will love him. You will make it work. You’ll love him more than you ever loved Talon. Just give him a chance.

  When she returned home, she was quick to find solace in her bed. How is she to ever love Yats, if she was still in love with Talon?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Talon finished piling his belongings into a leather bag, making sure to compartmentalize everything. The smoked foods in one section, clean dry clothes in another. He slung his quiver of arrows over his back and flexed his hands. Testing them. Making sure they’re ready to kill if they had to. He placed his sword back into its sheath. He had sharpened it the night before. He had sharpened it every night. It was the only way for him to distract his thoughts from the one he loved. The one he cared for deeply. He wondered about her every day.

  He was grateful for the variety of exercises that Mr. Roberts had given him, or he was sure he would have gone mad laying in that bed the entire day. He buckled his belt around his waist and grabbed three bags from beneath the bed, leaving the rest there. It was the sorting competition for Oroin Hall, as it was for every column racing hall except for Abhi. It was also the first time that the new inhabitants of the home would all be gone, as well as most of the servants and guards. He walked over to the ladder and pulled the cord.

  “You take care of yourself, Talon,” said Areli’s previous maid, as he finished pushing the dresser back over the secret room, “and promise me you’ll find her.”

  “I promise,” said Talon with a wry smile, “but I can’t promise you how she’ll take the news.”

  “Just promise to tell her,” said the maid, “leave the rest up to her. As long as she knows, then you have done as much as you can do until she gives you a response.”

  “I will take your advice.”

  “You know,” said the maid, “it would have been a whole lot easier if you would have told her from t
he beginning.”

  “I didn’t know then,” said Talon, “I know now. I was a fool to listen to my head instead of my heart.”

  “You men!” said the maid, “you’re exhausting, truly exhausting! You know that, don’t you?”

  “I only hope I’m not too late.”

  “Just get to her as soon as you can,” said the maid, “and may the stars watch over you on your way.” Talon nodded his head. “Oh, give me a hug before you go.” Talon walked over to her and hugged her, thanking her for her kindness and generosity. He then slipped two bags of coins into her hands. “What’s this for?”

  “For you hospitality.”

  “I can’t accept this,” said the maid, “families are in need of these!”

  “I need to get back,” said Talon, “I can’t carry them with me. Once I scale those walls, I’m going to need to make it off the private lands before the sorting competitions are over. The battle dragons will be making their rounds then. And carrying those bags would make travel difficult. Besides, I won’t have time to drop off any more. Take them. Hand out bags to each of the servants. Hand them out to families that you know of that are desperate. And retire. You know, try to get away from all this.”

  “But this is my life.”

  “Now, you have the money to decide what kind of life you want for yourself. Take it. I won’t accept it back.” With that Talon walked through the drawing room and headed towards the foyer.

  “Talon!” said the maid, “Degendhard. Will you see him in Abhi?” Talon looked at her. Gave a quick look around, and then gave a slight nod of his head.

  “Tell him thank you,” said the maid, “tell him we believe in what he’s done, what he’s doing. And we’re behind him all the way. It’s about time the Emperor had his ass kicked for a change.” Talon gave a laugh, and then nodded his head again.

  “I’ll be sure and tell him.” He turned to walk into the foyer, pausing to look behind. The maid had followed and was leaning against the doorway into the drawing room. He thanked her one last time . . . and then he was gone.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The day following the dinner was a day of no school and just practice, a day in which sorting competitions were happening in every column racing community, except for Abhi. Areli was only focused on finding Fides. Areli looked at her from the entrance of her locker. Fides gave her a knowing smile and a nod of the head that said you’re welcome. But for Areli . . . she didn’t know if she was thankful or regretful for what had happened the other night.

  When she looked over at Fides, she seemed happy. Areli wondered if she knew about the kiss. Areli wondered if Fides thought the dinner was something Areli actually wanted. During the morning meeting, Areli whispered to Fides, “we really need to talk.”

  “What’s wrong, Areli? I thought you would have been . . . well – happy . . . about . . . you know.”

  “I just need to talk to you, okay. Later?”

  “Did something happen, Areli?” asked Fides concerned.

  “No . . . nothing bad. I just really need to talk to you after practice.” Fides grabbed her hand, looked around her, and then told Areli they would talk after practice and she expected to hear everything that happened – and that she had some news of her own. Fides didn’t tell Areli any more than that, and she continued to give Areli concerned glances through the morning meeting.

  That day was one of the worst practices of Areli’s life. She felt like everything was falling apart, and the criticism from Aubrie poured on her like a heavy rain. Areli told her all about the evening before. Even though Aubrie clung to every word, she didn’t allow it to be an excuse to perform so poorly during private instruction.

  “You need to center you mind, Areli,” pleaded Aubrie, “once you’re in the arena . . . you’re in the arena. Don’t let the outside world distract from what you need to accomplish here. Not every day in your life is going to be perfect. But when you’re here. When you’re training. Perfection isn’t just important. It’s everything.”

  After practice, Fides was waiting for Areli outside her house. Areli ran to her and hugged her as if they hadn’t seen each other for years.

  “I take it that it didn’t go well,” said Fides, “tell me about it.”

  “Not here . . . in my room.”

  “Okay, but tell me everything. Don’t leave anything out.”

  “Same goes for your news,” said Areli, to which Fides answered with a nod. The two girls quickly greeted Areli’s mother and Aria, making sure to hug her mother just before sprinting up the steps.

  Areli fell onto her bed, exhausted and emotionally drained. Then she told Fides everything. Fides kept her eyes on Areli, grimacing at some parts, cringing at others.

  “I so sorry, Areli,” said Fides, “I didn’t know. I mean I knew. I just thought . . . I was just trying to help. It’s just that . . . people can’t just come to Abhi. You are only allowed in at the Emperor’s request. I just thought Yats could maybe . . . Well, maybe Yats could help you get over Oroin boy.”

  “I know,” said Areli, “and I thank you. I know you meant well. It’s just . . . I know I need to give Yats a chance. I know I will never see Oroin boy . . . ever again. But it’s hard, you know. Trying to get over someone you love.”

  “He was someone you loved, Areli,” said Fides, “but he wasn’t someone that loved you. Don’t you want to be with someone who loves you back? Who loves you just as much as you love him?”

  “Of course!” said Areli, “I mean . . . yes. I know I’m being a baby about it. It’s just . . . It’s just scary.”

  “And racing dragons at enormous speeds isn’t.”

  “No,” said Areli, “it’s exhilarating.”

  “Exactly,” said Fides, “and that’s what love can do, Areli. Yes, it can be scary. But it can also be great. You just have to let it. Please, Areli. For me. Will you please give Yats a chance?”

  “Okay,” said Areli, “I will. I will give him an honest chance. I swear to you, I’ll give him that.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise, Fides.” Fides placed a hand over Areli’s, and the two laid there in silence for a moment. “Now, what about you? You said you had news.” Fides started to blush and looked down at the comforter on Areli’s bed, her hand touching one of the many dragons.

  “I don’t know where to begin, actually,” said Fides.

  “At the beginning of course!” Fides smile matched Areli’s, who was now starting to get comfortable with the idea of being with Yats. What did she have to lose?

  “Well,” said Fides, “after practice yesterday, I thought to confront Amer.” Areli’s eyes were the size of grapefruits and her mouth fell open as if it weighed a million tons. She had tried this before. With Talon. The results were not good. She couldn’t even get out the words to prompt her friend to continue.

  “I had to know,” said Fides, keeping a straight face, “I had to know what happened between us.”

  “And?” That was the only word Areli’s mouth could materialize, because the rest of her was on edge in anticipation to the answer to that one word. She hoped it had a better resolve than the one that transpired between her and Talon. It must have, thought Areli, thinking at how happy Fides was this morning when she saw her.

  “I went to the roping community,” said Fides, “and his mother agreed to let me in. She was so happy to see me. She sat with me in the living room as we awaited his arrival. I haven’t heard his voice for so long. My heart felt like it was inches from bursting, Areli. My lungs felt like someone poured boiling water into them. Anyway, his mother called him into the living room. The look in his eyes . . . I almost left. I didn’t know what I was thinking. But somehow I stayed. I thought maybe his eyes might burn holes through me.” Areli stayed quiet during Fides story, not wanting to speak a word until after she was done.

  “He stood by the fireplace after his mother left us to talk, his back turned to me. He asked me what I was doing there. I told him I came to s
ee him. He told me that we didn’t have anything to talk about. It hurt, Areli. It cut deep, deeper than any sword or any arrow. I told him what he did to me deserved an explanation. I told him I didn’t understand it, any of it. How we could have gone from inseparable – to nothing at all. I told him that he owed me that much.

  “He said he did it for my best interest. I was taken aback by his response. Angry. Furious. I yelled at him. Scolded him. Told him that I’ve spent an entire year crying after he refused to see me. I was in tears. I couldn’t hold back all the hurt his decision had caused. He turned from the fireplace, his face was a mess of tears. His voice like thunder. He told me he had no other choice. I couldn’t take it anymore, Areli.

  “I stood up and told him he had a choice. I asked him if he knew how I felt about him. Even back then, I still had this burning desire to be with him. He screamed again, this time not of anger, but of pain. He said of course he knew how I felt. That he has always loved me, but he didn’t deserve me.

  “He caught me off guard. I had no words to answer him. I collapsed onto the floor. I told him that if he loved me, and knew that I felt the same, that he shouldn’t have run away. He collapsed next to me. Told me that he was trying to protect me. He is to become a general. He is to command armies, travel the world, and that I needed better than that. He told me that I needed someone to always be there. Someone to keep me warm when the night is cold. Someone to watch over me as I sleep to fend off any nightmares. Someone who would always be there to love me.