Catching Raindrops (The Sutter Family #1)

by H. D'Agostino

  “Maybe I just want to perform CPR on you,” I shouted back as I watched him climb up onto the bow too.

  He flung himself into the air, completing the same dive I did before surfacing right next to me. “All you had to do was ask,” he snickered as he began treading water.

  “Afraid of being shown up by a girl?” I teased.

  “I’m not afraid of anything,” he laughed as he began swimming toward the floating platform.

  We spent the afternoon alternating between swimming and sunbathing on the little dock. It was a nice day, and the cove we were anchored in was fairly private for being a public beach. Brock and I didn’t talk about the fact that my parents still didn’t know about us, and I never brought up the fact that I was leaving in two weeks to go back to school. Summer was flying by, and every minute we spent together needed to count. I needed to remember all these moments for those long nights I’d be spending alone in the fall. I needed to commit Brock to memory because before I knew it, memories were all I was going to have.

  “We better be heading back,” he nudged my side, causing me to groan in protest.

  “Do we have to?” I whined as I blinked my eyes open. The sun was setting at this point and I realized that my parents were probably back home and wondering where I was. Mel had said she would cover for me, but what was she planning to tell them? Why would I have left her behind? “Ok,” I blew out a breath as I sat up and began making my way over to the steps that would lead up onto the main deck. Brock followed me, and after raising the platform he took his place behind the wheel.

  “You know if they knew, we wouldn’t have to worry about you going home. You could stay,” he mused.

  “I know. We’ll tell them, ok.” I turned to him with pleading eyes. “I just need a few more days.”

  “You’re leaving in a few more weeks,” he sighed as he cranked the engine.

  “I know. We’ll tell them. Promise,” I raised myself up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his cheek. The truth was, I’d tried on several occasions, but every time I chickened out. I learned as a child that it was easier to just get it over with. My dad had never really been upset with me before, but then again... I’d never mixed his work and family. He never wanted me to grow up. He never saw me as an adult. Even now he tried to control certain things about my life. If it wasn’t for my mom’s support, I’d be locked in my room this summer.

  Brock

  When we reached the marina and I’d docked the boat, I helped Em down and packed the car back up. I could feel the pressure weighing down on me, and after figuring out that we only had two more weeks together, I’d decided that I was telling Nick about us. So he’d probably fire me, so what? I’d rather be looking for job than be without her. Emma had become important to me this summer, and the possibility of losing her made my chest constrict. I don’t think she realized how attached I’d become.

  We drove in silence back toward her house. The sun had long disappeared, and the sky was darkening as stars began to appear. I had the windows down and the ocean breeze blew through the car whipping her hair around like a curtain trying to hide her face.

  “Can you park down the street?” she murmured so quietly that I almost missed it.

  I sighed as I released a deep breath, “Sure, Em. Whatever you want.” I didn’t want to fight about this, but it was getting ridiculous. I felt like some creep who was having a torrid affair, only neither of us were married.

  “Brock,” she frowned as she glanced at me.

  “Don’t. I don’t want to hear it right now, Em,” I shook my head as I pulled off the side of the road and cut the engine. I jumped out of the car and raced around to her side before she could get out.

  When I opened her door, she just sat there. Frown lines marred her forehead as a look of confusion settled in her eyes. “What’s he doing here?” she whispered as she stared at what looked like a black Toyota parked in her parents’ driveway. I glanced back at it and shrugged it off. I didn’t recognize the car but apparently she did. I held out my hand to help her, and she reached for me in an almost robotic movement.

  “You ok, Em?” I wrapped my arm around her waist as she sagged against me. She nodded and as I stepped away from the car, she let me lace our fingers together. She was being so compliant that I began to think that she was actually going to go through with it. She was going to let me tell her dad that we were together.

  I smiled as I walked us to the door of her house. When we reached the front door, I looked over at her. Her face was blank, and her eyes were void of emotion. I raised my hand to knock when the door opened and Melinda appeared.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’ve been trying to get him to leave for hours,” she grimaced just as Nick came up behind her and forced the door open farther.

  “Em. Where have you been all day, and what are you doing here?” he pointed at me as his eyes trailed down to our joined hands. A scowl spread across his face as Emma’s grip loosened.

  It was like bad accident. I could see it coming, but couldn’t do anything to stop it. Over the course of about two minutes, my entire world exploded into oblivion and I was powerless to stop it. As Nick glared at me I watched a figure stand from the couch behind him. The guy walked closer, and paused a few feet behind Nick.

  “Jordan,” Emma whispered. “What are you doing here?”

  Chapter 14

  Emma

  I saw his car; I just didn’t believe that what I was seeing was real. When I’d left school at the end of the year we’d said we were over. I’d told him what had happen, and he’d completely pushed me away. What was he doing here now?

  “I’m not going to ask again,” Nick growled. “What are you doing here?”

  Brock looked at me, and I didn’t know what to do other than shut down. I crossed my arms over my chest, and stepped away from him. I watched as his smile from minutes before vanished and a look of confusion took over.

  “Leaving, I guess,” he muttered. “See ya around, Em,” he stepped back, but didn’t leave right away.

  “Emma? You coming in?” Dad moved to the side giving me the space to get by him, but continued to glare in Brock’s direction. I hated what I was doing, but I couldn’t seem to stop it. Dad didn’t know about Jordan. Mel didn’t either, and it seemed that Brock thought I was pushing him away.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I glanced in Brock’s direction.

  “Me too,” he shook his head as he began to jog back to his car.

  I watched him leave still not knowing what to do, or how to wake from this nightmare. The day had started like a fairy tale dream, and now it was quickly spiraling into a place where our shadows hide.

  “Hey, Baby,” Jordan sidled up behind me and wrapped his arms around my middle. “I’ve missed you,” he pressed a kiss to my neck and it was enough to jolt me out of the trance I was in.

  “Don’t call me baby,” I hissed as I pushed him away.

  “Come on, Em. Don’t be like this,” he shook his head and rolled his eyes.

  “Why are you here, Jordan? We’re not together. We’re not getting back together. There’s no point in you being here. You know this,” my voice was getting louder and louder as my brain caught up to what had transpired over the last several minutes.

  “You don’t mean that,” Jordan shook his head.

  I stormed passed him and into the house. My mom was coming into the room just as Dad caught up to me. “Where have you been all day?” his voice boomed.

  I spun to face him. I might as well get this over with, “Out!” I flung my arms in the air.

  “Out where?” his eyes narrowed on me.

  “Out with Brock!” I shouted. I watched my dad’s face redden. I hadn’t yelled at him in years, well, not since I was a tween. “I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m nineteen, Dad!”

  “Watch your tone, Emma,” he warned.

  “Sorry,” I muttered.

  “I’m gonna go back to your room. Let me know if yo
u want to talk,” Mel muttered as she brushed past me.

  “What’s all this?” Mom moved to stand beside Dad.

  “I don’t know,” I glared at Jordan. “Why are you here?” I slammed my hands down on my hips as I stared at him. We’d already talked. We’d talked, and talked, and talked before he walked away. I told him how I felt. How I wasn’t ready, how I couldn’t do it. He’d walked away and left me to deal with the aftermath and didn’t even glance back.

  “I was stupid. I want to talk to you, work things out,” he stepped closer and caused me to retreat further.

  “No, you don’t’ get to do this,” I pointed at the door. “You need to leave!”

  “Emma!” Dad scoffed. “He drove all afternoon to get here. He’s not leaving right now.”

  “Yes. He. Is!” I growled before turning my wrath on my parents. “You don’t know what he did! He doesn’t get to stay here, Dad.” I could feel the tears coming. I swiped angrily at my eyes as I pushed past all of them and raced toward the slider.

  “Emma, wait,” Mom called out. “Talk to us.” She was the only one I’d come close to telling. She was the only one who would understand, but I just couldn’t disappoint them. I couldn’t tell them that I screwed up and in return completely wrecked myself. I just couldn’t.

  Brock

  I stood there at my car door just watching them. I thought for sure she’d push him away, but she didn’t. She let him wrap his arms around her and kiss her. My stomach rolled when his lips touched her neck. “God damn! Son of a...” I yanked open my door and climbed in, slamming it behind me. I took a few deep breaths and blew them out my nose as I punched the steering wheel. I thought she cared. I thought she felt the same way. ‘It was a dream come true’ she said. ‘I’ve thought about doing this since I was a kid’ she said. Bullshit!

  I cranked the engine and tore down the road, heading to nowhere really. I knew I’d have to answer to Nick come Monday, and now I was asking myself why I was even sticking around. I should go back to California and forget her, but I couldn’t no matter how much I tried. Emma Sutter was so far under my skin that I could feel her everywhere.

  Once I made it home, I grabbed a six pack and drove to the parking lot near the beach. I stormed out onto the soft sand and sat down as I cracked open a beer. This was a bad idea, but it seemed like I was full of them lately. I fell for the unattainable girl. I let my heart open for her and actually feel something. When we slept together, it meant something to me. God, I sounded like a pussy. That first time I saw her I should have just walked the other way, but I couldn’t. She looked sad, and I wanted to make her smile.

  I don’t know how long I sat there. I know I got through all six beers and wasn’t feeling any better. I stood, stumbled at first, and then began doing one of my stupidest ideas yet. I started walking down the beach toward her house. Tonight was already wrecked, why not blow whatever was left of it up?

  Emma

  “Emma! Em, wait!” Jordan called out as I ran toward the sand.

  I spun in time to see him practically fall down the stairs that led from the deck. “Go away!” I shouted. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “Well, I want to talk to you,” he growled as he caught up to me and grabbed my arm.

  “Don’t touch me,” I hissed back.

  “Come on, Em. Just listen to me. I still love you,” his eyes softened but as I stared at him I felt nothing. It was as if he never really meant anything to me. I was hurt, yes but this was different. Brock had helped heal me, and now watching Jordan beg didn’t affect me like it once would have.

  “No,” I shook my head as I wiped at the tears running down my cheeks. “We’re over. We’re not getting back together.”

  “Em. Talk to me,” he begged as he stepped closer, but as I retreated he held his hands up in surrender. “I was stupid. I’m sorry. Please?”

  “No,” I shook my head again as I crossed my arms over my chest. Everything was swirling around inside me. I’d planned to tell Dad about Brock. He’d been pressuring me for weeks. I had all but convinced myself that it was the right thing to do, and then Jordan shows up, sending me into a tailspin. “You don’t get to do this. I wanted to talk months ago. I came to you, scared and needing your help, but you turned me away and ran to her. How is Emily by the way?” I sneered.

  Jordan’s mouth dropped open before he shook his head, clearing it. “I don’t want her. I was stupid. You shocked me, that’s all. I’m ok now. I want to fix this.” He began pacing. “I’m here aren’t I?” he flung his arms out to the side.

  “Why?” I spun to face him. “Why now? What’s changed? Am I finally good enough? Is that it?” I stormed up to him and shoved his chest. He stumbled back a few steps before he shook his head.

  “Forget it,” he sighed as he stared at the ground. “This is so not worth the effort,” he muttered as he turned and walked away, leaving me standing there in the dark.

  When I looked up at the house, it was dark with the exception of a single glowing porch light. At least Mom was able to get Dad to give me some privacy. I knew that come morning he’d be beating down my door for answers, but at least I could cry in peace tonight.

  I shook my head as I lowered myself to the sand. Other than the waves lapping at the sand, it was completely quiet outside. The moon was low over the ocean, and I stared at it as I sat. I remembered all the nights I spent out here as a child. My parents would sit up on the deck and talk while they enjoyed a night cap. Ryan and I would play in the sand. Sometimes we’d even run into the water or chase the waves as they lapped at our feet. In high school I’d come out here to wish on the stars. I talked to the universe and asked it when Brock was going notice me. I never thought it would answer. I prayed that one day he’d actually see me the way I saw him.

  “Hey,” I barely heard him over the waves as he sat down beside me. He sighed as he pulled his legs up and crossed his arms over his bent knees.

  “I thought you left,” I mumbled. I wasn’t sure how to take this. Brock had walked away when Dad had questioned him. He hadn’t even tried to explain.

  “I did,” he sighed. He took a few deep breaths before he continued. “Look, Em. I have this bad feeling that you’re hiding something. I don’t know what, but I know it has something to do with that tool that was at your parents’ house. I watched you change right before my eyes when you saw him. I don’t know what happened, but I’m here for you. Understand?”

  I bobbed my head as I swallowed a few times. I needed to get this out, and for some reason I felt better talking to Brock than anyone else. “I screwed up at school,” I began. I stared out at the water, refusing to look in his direction. I didn’t want to see his face when he heard this story. “Jordan and I met last year. It was at a lacrosse camp. We’d gone to the same school, played the same sport, and never run into each other. I think we both found that funny. We began hanging out all the time. He’d come over to my dorm. I’d go to his apartment. It was only natural that we start dating. At first he was the perfect guy. He’d call me constantly. Show up to walk me to class. Months passed and I thought we were really building a future together. One night we were making out in his car after a date. He casually brought up sex. I told him I wasn’t ready; that I was a virgin, and I wanted to wait. He seemed ok with it. At first he didn’t push, but then we’d go to a party, he’d drink and then he’d start coming on to me. Sometimes it was even in front of his friends. Mel told me to leave him. She was witness to several of his drunken nights, but I thought I loved him.”

  I took a minute to gather my thoughts before I pushed on. “On the night of our anniversary, I finally decided I was ready. I’d built up in my head what I thought my first time would be like. I had all these dreams of romance and the perfect guy,” I sniffed as I wiped at my eyes. The truth was, in my fantasies it has always been Brock. I’d never envisioned Jordan as being ‘the one’. “We went back to his apartment, and he pretty much shoved my skirt up and pounced.” Brock sti
ffened beside me but didn’t say anything. “When it was over, he left me in the room while he went to play pool with his roommates. I was stupid enough to think that I wasn’t good enough; that he didn’t enjoy himself.”

  “After that night, I told myself it wasn’t a big deal. We’d do it again, and it would get better and it did. Each time was a little better, but it still wasn’t what I thought sex should be like.”

  “Em,” Brock sighed from beside me. He reached for my chin to get me to look at him, but I pulled away.

  “No, let me finish,” I brushed him off. He placed his hand on top of mine on the sand and brushed his thumb across the back. “The last time we slept together we’d both been drinking. Jordan didn’t use protection, and I was stupid enough to believe that I’d be ok. I wanted him to want me, and that night he was all over me. I didn’t think much about it afterwards. The days passed and I felt normal, until I didn’t.”

  “Really, Em,” Brock lifted his arm and placed it around my shoulders. “You don’t have to do this right now.” He tugged me closer and I went willingly. I buried my face in his chest and cried. I cried for the first time since I’d gotten home. I’d been holding it in for so long that now I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop, so I didn’t. I let it out, and the one person who I thought would hate me the most was the one giving me comfort.

  Chapter 15

  Brock

  As I sat here listening to her it took everything in me not go hunt this fucker down and beat the shit out of him. It was bad enough that he pressured her into sex, but then to treat her like she didn’t matter made my blood boil.

  “I went to the nurse on campus and asked for a pregnancy test. It was the hardest thing I’d had to do at that point. I was an athlete after all, getting pregnant was going to end my lacrosse career.” She wiped at her eyes and swallowed a few times. I hugged her tighter to me and felt her shudder against the tears. “When it came out positive, I went to find Jordan. I didn’t know who to talk to or what to do. I knew I couldn’t raise a baby. I wasn’t ready. My parents would be so disappointed, and my coach would kick me off the team. It wasn’t like being injured.”