The Viking Funeral ss-2

by Stephen Cannell

  When another shot rang out, Shane's suspicions were confirmed. The bullet thunked into a rock forty or fifty feet to his right.

  "So, Hot Sauce, who woulda ever figured it would come to this, huh?" Jody called out. "You an' me crawlin' around in the dirt. Cowboys and Indians."

  Shane began to move slowly away from the voice, being careful to not splash any water. He thought he might have a slight advantage because he now had a rough fix on where Jody was, while Jody was obviously still trying to locate him. Jody had always won these games of hide-and-seek when they were kids. It was uncanny the way he could tell what Shane was thinking, where he would try to hide next.

  Then, true to that memory, Jody echoed that very thought. "I could always find ya, Hot Sauce… And this won't be any different. Course, it doesn't have to end that way. We could make a deal."

  Shane slipped out of the water, up onto the bank on the east side of the wash. He managed to squirm up the slight incline in front of him, finally reaching a spot behind some scrub brush. Once he was there, he used the foliage for a screen and sat up slowly.

  "So, Shane… Think it over. It doesn't have to end with you dead. Maybe we can still find some flex in the deal."

  Shane thought he could see Jody about twenty yards off to the left behind some rocks, lit by the faint quarter moon. His old friend was looking down and to his right, searching the stream. Shane started to travel in a counterclockwise circle, staying out of Jody's vision, being careful not to crack a twig or kick a pebble.

  "Throw out your gun and stand up," Jody called out. "We'll work something out. There's plenty here for both of us."

  Shane kept inching slowly up the hill and around to his right. He finally worked his way to the flat ground behind Jody. He could now see the back of Jody's head and a piece of his right shoulder as his childhood friend huddled down behind a rocky outcropping. Shane edged closer, not sure if he could muster the courage to actually do what he now knew he had to.

  And then, without any warning, Jody sensed him and spun around.

  Something, God knows what, kept Shane from pulling the trigger and killing him in that instant when he had the chance. Immediately his advantage was lost, and now they were about ten feet apart, both holding handguns aimed at each other, the barrels glinting in the moonlight.

  Shane could see the madness in Jody's eyes.

  "Put the gun down, Jody." Shane's voice was shaking.

  "You can't win, Hot Sauce. I'll know a split second before you do, and I'll beat ya."

  "Put it down…"

  "I'm sorry about what I told ya in Joe's desert house. That was a mistake. I never shoulda told ya I didn't care. I could see it in your eyes… I broke it between us when I told ya that." He smiled weirdly. "But when I said I never felt love, well… That's not exactly right, Salsa. There were a few times I felt it, but I was always inside your head. I felt it through you."

  "Put the gun down." Shane's voice was weak.

  "I'll give ya a piece a'my end." Jody kicked the bag at his feet. "Jose transferred the cash. Hundred-thousand-dollar bearer bonds. The whole fifty mil is in this gym bag. I'm not talking a fifty-fifty split or anything screwy like that, 'cause I been through too much… Been too far. But how 'bout ten percent? That's a good payday. Five mil. Then you and I go our separate ways. Least we don't end it this way… With you dead."

  "Why did you butcher Sandro Mantoor like that?" Shane asked, his voice still shaking.

  "Felt like it," Jody said without emotion. "Matter of fact, there's something kinda sweet about it when ya do it slow like that."

  Shane knew he had to end this. He had to pull the trigger. He couldn't trust Jody to the courts. He was smart and handsome. He might find a way to O. J. his way out, just like he always had before.

  "Don't do it, Hot Sauce," Jody warned sharply. "Don't even think about it."

  In that moment, Shane lost his resolve.

  Even though he knew Jody was a sociopath, a monster, he couldn't pull the trigger. Jody must have sensed that, too, because he went on talking.

  "I may not have loved you, man," he said softly. "But that was only because I couldn't. That piece wasn't in me… Just wasn't there. But, Shane, I respected you more than anybody I ever knew. That's why I'll cut this deal. I want us both alive. What's love anyway? It's just a buncha horseshit and a four-letter word."

  And then, as if a long-hidden door had opened, Shane was suddenly inside Jody's head, just as Jody must have always been inside his.

  What Shane saw was indescribable and horrible-black, poisonous, and beyond all reason.

  They fired simultaneously.

  Chapter 51

  HUNTINGTON HOUSE

  ALL THE CHILDREN have their own beds and foot lockers," she said. "We have set morning bathroom times, and of course, we all eat together in Spring Hall. He'll be one of the youngest, but I think he'll be fine. "

  Shane was looking up at her. She was pleasant-looking with a round face, but she had acne. She smiled at him, so he smiled back.

  "Will he go to school here, at Huntington House?" a woman he couldn't see asked.

  He was holding her hand, but she was out of sight above him. Shane felt very tiny, forced to crane his neck up to see the pleasant woman with the acne.

  "Yes, school will be here at Huntington House until the sixth grade and then, depending on how Shane does, we'll arrange for him to attend either St. Augustus Elementary School, which is just a few blocks away, or he can go across town to Havenhurst. "

  "Well, then, it's all settled," the invisible woman said.

  "Fifty over ninety and falling" a man's voice said, piercing Shane's consciousness. A siren was somewhere behind him.

  "Hit him with another A-shot, fifty cc's," a voice commanded.

  "Come on, Shane," the pleasant woman with acne said. "We'll show you around. " He held her hand, but he had never felt so alone. He was becoming agitated, even frightened. He could feel his heart begin to beat hard in his chest. What would happen to him? Who were these people?

  "Heart rate and BP up again, but he's leaking inside. We're gonna need to get him typed, stat."

  "Here's the playroom," the pleasant woman said. "Look at all the nice toys. "

  Shane tried to move toward the toys, but a hand pulled him back. "No, not now. It's not a play period yet. "

  He looked up at her but could no longer see her, either. He could now only hear her voice: "Play period's at three in the afternoon. "

  "Stand by with a crash unit. We've got a Code Blue coming in. ETA four minutes."

  They were walking along a corridor where the walls were getting narrower and higher, until Shane felt overwhelmed and dwarfed by the place. It was getting dark, too. The lights suddenly dimmed.

  "We'll show you where you're going to sleep, " the pleasant woman said, but she now seemed far awaySuddenly Shane was wandering alone in the dark and narrowing hallway. He was getting smaller and smaller with each step. But a bright light, beautiful and pure, was coming from a crack under a doorway down the hall. Then he heard Jody.

  "A fireman? Really? You wanna climb through a window with a hose? What kind of bullshit job is that?"

  "But Jody, wouldn't it be neat to save somebody's life?"

  "A fireman? Shit, I don't wanna be a fireman. "

  "What do you wanna be?"

  "I don't know. I never know. "

  "This guy's in de-fib! Hit the paddles! Clear!"

  He felt a sharp pain in his chest.

  They were at Ryder Field in their Little League uniforms. Shane was rubbing the sore place on his chest.

  "Jody, when I give you the curve sign, don't throw the fastball. You hit me in the chest. I wasn't ready, " Shane said. It was almost dark, and the park ranger hadn't turned on the field lights yet.

  "Just the heater. "Jody grinned. "I'm gonna stick with the heater."

  "Outta the way; hit him again! Clear!"

  Something buzzed. A jolt hit his chest.

 
; They were in Jody's bedroom with the lights out. Night music.

  "A cop?" Jody sneered. "I thought you were gonna be a damn fireman. "

  "If you're a cop, you stand between right and wrong. You'd really get a chance to count. "

  "You believe that?"

  "Hit it again!"

  Sharp pain. A buckling explosion in his chest that for a moment brought the lights back on in Jody's bedroom.

  He was looking at Jody in the other bed, propped up on an elbow, staring at him speculatively.

  "We'll be friends forever," Shane told him, glad the lights were back on.

  "No, we won't, Hot Sauce. It's not in the plan!"

  "But that can't be, Jody. I'm like your brother," Shane pleaded.

  "I'll give you something 'fore you go-something so you won't forget me. "

  "What is it?" Shane asked. "When do I get it?"

  "When it's time. It's a secret, "Jody grinned. "A special gift. "

  "I'm losing him" the man's voice said.

  The towering walls disappeared, and Shane was bathed in a light so white and pure that he marveled at it. Then, almost as if he were being lifted by an invisible hand, he was flying fast and low, but rising quickly. Up… Up… He went.

  "My God, what fun," he laughed, banking into the light, streaking toward it until he almost reached its center. But then, without warning, he pulled up and hovered there, bathed in its radiant beauty. He glanced over and saw the Dean family floating somewhere beyond the light. Fred and Marge waved at him" Shane, we're so glad you're here, " they told him.

  He looked down and saw Alexa and Chooch below him.

  Jody was there, too, standing on the pitcher's mound, frowning down at the rosin bag in his hand.

  Suddenly, a woman he didn't know was floating toward him, smiling. She was beautiful, with rich, chestnut hair and his same blue eyes. She reached out to him.

  "Come with me, son. We're together now. " Her voice was soft, like music. "I never meant to leave you, but I couldn 't help it. It was an accident. "

  "Are you my mother?" he said, thinking this was perfect. He wouldn't have to stay at Huntington House with strangers. Now he could finally have a real home with a real family.

  "Yes, I'm your mother, " she said. "You have to believe I always loved you. I wanted to keep you, darling. I had to leave, but I was always here waiting, and now you've finally come to me. Now you 're finally-"

  Without warning, everything ended.

  Chapter 52

  JODY'S GIFT

  WHEN SHANE CAME to, he was in ICU and it was two weeks later. They told him he'd been in a coma produced by a gunshot wound to the head. Jody's bullet had entered his scalp just above the hairline at the parietal bone and had traveled a scary, improbable path, hugging the subcutaneous connective tissue between his scalp and scull. It cracked the bone over the cerebellum in three places, then exited the back of his head at the base of his neck at something called the lamdoidal suture, without ever entering his brain cavity. Shane had suffered multiple concussions, and his head had to be opened to release the pressure of built-up cerebrospinal fluid inside his skull.

  They had kept him sedated for two weeks so he wouldn't thrash around and possibly cause more discharge inside his cranium.

  When he finally regained consciousness, nurses and doctors swarmed over him. Shots were given, blood pressure taken, and strict orders posted: NO VISITORS.

  The wall opposite his bed in ICU was all glass; he looked up and saw Alexa and Chooch with their noses pressed against the window, like children watching a glassed-off exhibit. He stuck his tongue out at them weakly, and they both waved and laughed.

  Later that day, when he woke up again, Alexa was holding his hand.

  "Alexa," he whispered. "I… I…"

  "Shhh," she said. "I had to raise hell to get in here. If you set off that heart monitor you're hooked to, I'll never get back in again."

  "What happened?" Shane asked. The last thing he remembered was sitting in the backyard, telling Chooch he was going to ask Alexa to marry him.

  "Jody's dead," Alexa said. "You hit him right between the eyes. Pretty nice shooting for a cop who can barely get weapons-qualified each June."

  "No…" Shane said. "Jody… Jody committed suicide two years ago, in the Rampart Division parking lot."

  "Jeez, you lost a big piece," she said, looking worried.

  "I what?"

  She leaned down and kissed him, brushing her lips gently across his. "Maybe it's for the best," she told him.

  Eventually, it all returned. Little bits floated back like ugly puzzle pieces drifting in on a brown memory tide.

  There were still a few holes in his calendar, but they gradually began to fill, creeping back like ghastly visitors, wandering in the ballroom of his memory until they finally found their correct chairs.

  He left the hospital two weeks later, rolled out into the parking lot by a nurse pushing a folding wheelchair. When he stood, he felt twenty feet tall and two inches wide. He teetered precariously before lowering himself into Alexa's car. His scalp had been stitched and bandaged. His neck was already healing. There was an ugly puckered welt there from the gunfight in Maicao. The hole in his thigh was now a pink divot the size of a quarter. All in all, he was damn lucky to be alive.

  Chooch was in the backseat and never took his hand off Shane's shoulder, as if letting go, even for a second, might cause some kind of permanent separation.

  "We need to set the wedding date." Alexa smiled. "You keep saying you remember asking me, but I think I'd better close the deal while you're still lucid."

  "How 'bout this weekend," Shane said. "By this weekend, I'll be kickin' ass." But despite this bravado, he felt light-headed and was forced to lean back against the headrest.

  Actually, the date they set was two months later. It was a June fifteenth wedding that took place at the Police Academy Chapel.

  The service was small, but importantly attended. There were a dozen cops from his old homicide table, along with their wives, as well as some old partners from Patrol. Of course, Buddy made the trip. No way to freeze him out. Buddy slapped backs and talked retailing.

  Chooch was the best man, and Buddy gave the bride away. Because he didn't have anyone else, and because something told him it would mean a lot, Shane asked Tony Filosiani to stand up for him, to be his one and only usher.

  They were married at four in the afternoon. The ceremony was short and simple, but the emotions were not. Alexa cried when they exchanged rings. The reception was behind the chapel. After it was over and the guests had left, they lingered outside, smiling as Tony and his wife, Mary, traded guarded looks with Buddy. Shane, Chooch, and Alexa stood on the steps looking out at the San Gabriel Mountains, majestic, almost purple in the bright, smog-free California afternoon.

  "Some weddin'. Glad t'be part of it," Tony enthused. "You guys should know, when I'm in a wedding, I make marriages that last. You two got an obligation not to screw up my perfect record, not countin' my sister."

  Shane smiled and nodded. "Yes, sir. That order is accepted."

  "Good. And now, I got another little weddin' gift, Shane. I put you in for the MOV and the Police Board approved it. Gonna get the medal at this December's ceremony."

  "His-and-her medals." Alexa smiled.

  "Once Papa Joe gets outta the hospital, he'll testify." Tony went on: "We're gonna kill this billion-dollar parallel-market scam for good. The Justice Department has already opened their investigation. Without laundries, these drug cartels can't function. We hit 'em where they live-in the pocketbook. The CEOs of the companies laundering this shit are gonna be toast. We brought it to 'em, Shane. You made the difference."

  Finally Buddy went back to the hotel to pack. Shane, Alexa, and Chooch slipped away to Venice.

  They were glad to be safe at home. They changed out of their wedding costumes and met in the backyard ten minutes later. Shane was in shorts, a T-shirt, and flip-flops. Chooch was in his baggies and saggi
es, Alexa in a sweatshirt and leggings.

  Shane poured them all flutes of cold champagne. They toasted the wedding and stood on their patch of grass, watching the sunset over the blue Pacific a block away.

  "Where's the honeymoon?" Chooch asked., grinning.

  "How about Aruba?" Alexa said, smiling. "I still have my room key." She dug in her purse and threw it on the glass-top table.

  "How about anyplace on earth but there?" Shane said.

  "I'll miss you guys while you're gone" Chooch said.

  "No, you won't/5 Shane grinned.

  "How come?"

  "'Cause we're gonna wait till Christmas and you're going with us/' Alexa finished.

  "Really? Is that allowed, taking your kid on the honeymoon?"

  "From now on, this family stays together," Shane said.

  That night Shane lay awake in bed, listening to Alexa sleep beside him… The slow breathing, the warmth of her next to him. They hadn't made love. It was strange not to consummate their marriage on the wedding night, but Alexa had been told by the doctors not to do it for a month, because they wanted to keep his heart rate and blood pressure down until they were sure everything had stopped leaking inside his head. There was one week left on that ridiculous sentence. Shane had argued, but Alexa stood firm. He probably wasn't going to win many arguments with her, or as the Day-Glo Dago would say, "Fugedaboutit."

  So instead of sex, he lay on his back, looking at the ceiling, turning his new wedding band around on his finger, reflecting, trying to make sense of all that had happened.

  He'd been very close to death. The docs told him that his heart had stopped twice. He'd flown down that heavenly corridor, chasing a column of pure white light. He'd seen all of the people in his life that had mattered: the Deans, Jody, Chooch, and Alexa.

  Then he thought of the beautiful chestnut-haired woman whom he had known on sight was his mother.

  "I'm sorry," she had said. "It was an accident. I didn't want to leave you."

  What kind of accident would take you away from your child, make you leave him at the back door of a hospital? Then suddenly he realized that she had not put him there; she'd died and somebody else had. She'd come to him in a near-death experience and told him that she always loved him… Always wanted him. Shane didn't think that when you had a near-death vision, it included lies.