Moon Fever

by Susan Sizemore, Maggie Shayne, Lori Handeland

  In her brain came a rough rumble and the pull of something elemental. A command to join with it. With him.

  A shiver along her nerve endings grew into a rough shudder.

  She opened her eyes and caught sight of the jaguar latched onto her shoulder a second before the animal gently released her.

  She tried to speak, but nothing came out. In her head, she heard the rumble again and the insistent demand that she join the cat by her side.

  As she turned onto her side, the urge to crawl pulled at her, and then something slammed into her, as powerful as a sledgehammer.

  Breathing heavily, she fought a losing battle for control as her muscles trembled, ever more violently as each second passed. A snap, loud like a brittle branch, sounded in the quiet along the riverbank. Then there came another snap, accompanied by pain so strong she moaned, only it wasn’t a human sound that escaped her.

  Her low roar filled the air as the bones in her body shifted and muscles rearranged themselves. As the violence of her transformation slowly eased, she hesitantly rose to her feet. She struggled to remain on all fours, feeling better than before but still weak and disoriented.

  The jaguar who had bitten her came to her side and, with a gentle nudge, urged her away from the water’s edge and toward a small pad of moss and lush ferns beneath the canopy of the trees. She walked there drunkenly, aware of her condition and yet still in disbelief. She dropped onto the ground.

  Scattered fragments of thought came to her. Recollections of Javier mentioning that the change could help heal wounds.

  He bit me to save my life.

  That thought brought no relief though, only confusion and anger. As she shut her cat’s eyes, he settled himself close to her. His warmth drove away the chill of the river waters. His hesitant lick against her face seemed to beg for understanding.

  But she didn’t know if she could ever forgive him.

  A low rumble came from him, and she thought it sounded like “I’m sorry.”

  But she lacked the strength to respond.

  She gave herself up to unconsciousness, her body and heart drained by the day’s events.

  Chapter 7

  J avier stayed by Jessica’s side until the spirit left and her body morphed back to human. She was in better shape than when the transformation had begun but not completely healed. As he examined her naked body, the bruises snagged his attention—large angry smudges of deep purple along her ribs and back. He ran his hands over her and smiled when he realized that anything broken seemed back in the right place and on the way to healing.

  She woke as he tended to her and said just one word. “Why?”

  “Because I couldn’t lose you,” he admitted.

  Her body was an assortment of aches and pains, but that didn’t stop her from rising onto her elbows to face him. “You had no right to make that decision.”

  “You would have died.”

  Something primal awakened within her. Something feral had her lunging at him, swinging her fists at his head until he grabbed her wrists and pinned her to the soft bed of moss.

  A warning growl erupted from him, and she quieted, the animal in her recognizing his dominance.

  “You had no right,” she repeated, a low rumble in her own voice as heat built deep in her center.

  Beneath him, she quieted, and Javier sensed her confusion and acquiescence. “The warmth you feel is the animal spirit growing within you. Healing you. Rest.”

  She said nothing else and closed her eyes, but he lost any hope that he might have had about her returning to him. She could never forgive what he had done to her, even if it had been the only thing he could do to save her.

  As the long hours passed, he collected what he could salvage from the boat. Some food and Jessica’s bags. The shotgun loaded with regular pellets, which he replaced with the silver buckshot.

  Returning to her side, he started a small fire, placed the gun within her reach, and removed some of her clothes from one of the bags. He draped them along some low-lying branches to dry.

  He moved away from the makeshift campsite and went in search of deadfall so that he could heat some water for a quick meal. He was several yards away from her when he heard the nearby rustle of the underbrush, and the hackles on the back of his neck rose.

  Armando stepped from the underbrush, alone and naked. A bright white bandage marked one shoulder, and Javier wondered if beneath the gauze his wound had already healed. If it had, he had seriously underestimated the strength of Armando’s spirit.

  “Time to die, Javier,” the other man said, a broad grin visible even in the dim light of dusk.

  Javier had no doubt he meant it. Their feud had been brewing for a long time. Maybe even since before the deaths of their parents. As much as he hated the thought, Javier knew that the death of one of them was the only way there would ever be peace.

  “Let’s have at it, then,” Javier called out, and he dropped to all fours. He summoned the jaguar and let it consume him body and soul.

  Armando did the same, and with a surge, they bounded toward each other, intent on a fight to the death.

  Javier engaged Armando head-on, nearly up on his hind legs as they pawed at each other. Claws slashed and struck, catching an arm here and a side there as they flew at each other time and time again. Javier danced away like a prize fighter, knowing that Armando’s greater size and strength would kill him if he got the upper hand.

  Armando, mad with anger and blood lust, kept on coming at Javier until the attacks were wild and unthinking.

  Javier knew the moment would come soon when Armando would tire and drop his guard.

  At last, Armando exposed one shoulder. Javier erupted past his poor defense and sank his fangs deep into the thick muscle of Armando’s shoulder.

  The black jaguar howled and clawed at him in protest, raking his claws deep into Javier’s sides and back. But Javier didn’t release his hold on the other cat. Pooling all his strength, he fought Armando to the ground, ignoring the pain as the other cat continued to tear into him.

  He held on. He tossed his head and felt muscle and bone crunch beneath his massive jaws. He began to weaken from the loss of blood from his injuries, but he sensed Armando weakening also as blood poured from the deep wound in his shoulder.

  Javier relaxed his hold for just a moment, and Armando took advantage, reversing their positions until Javier was on the ground.

  With a twist of his massive head, Javier ripped out a large chunk of Armando’s flesh. Blood spurted viciously from the wound, splattering across his body as Armando fell back, grievously injured.

  Javier had gotten an artery. That much was obvious as the blood continued to spurt unimpeded, bright red against the vibrant green of the moss along the river bank.

  He moved away from Armando, waiting to see what would happen, trying to recover for a final attack, because he sensed that if Armando knew he was dying, he would try to take Javier with him.

  As Javier expected, Armando rushed him one last time.

  Heat swept across her body. Strange telltale heat reminding her she was something other than human now. Whatever that something else was smelled the blood, heard the snarled challenges laced with pain.

  Jessica opened her eyes and turned toward the sound. Armando and Javier, locked in battle some distance away along the riverbank. To the death, if the amount of blood across the ground and the two cats was any indication.

  Inside her, something twisted and warmed. The hairs on her arm began to thicken and lengthen, fur emerging to replace skin, but she fought it back, drove it deep inside as she sat up and her gaze settled on the shotgun Javier had left beside her.

  She grabbed the gun and rose, her stance precarious as pain lanced through her ribs and a wave of weakness assaulted her. Much as she had driven back the jaguar struggling to emerge, she fought her injuries and moved toward the two animals.

  She was furious with Javier, but she couldn’t let him die.

  Picki
ng up the shotgun, she trained it on Armando, waiting for an opening.

  It came more quickly than she expected, as Javier pushed the other cat away and Armando flew backward, blood coating his glistening black fur. Before the cat could move toward Javier again, she opened fire, catching Armando full in the chest.

  The black jaguar stumbled backward, then righted himself and turned to charge at her.

  She fired again.

  This time, Armando fell to the ground, the gaping holes torn into him by the shotgun blasts crimson against his ebony fur.

  Jessica dropped the shotgun and wrapped her arms tight around her waist, as if that would help her keep a handle on herself.

  A moment later, Javier was at her side. A human Javier, bearing the wounds of his fight with Armando. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered against her ear, “You did him a favor. He was as good as dead.”

  She shot him a confused look, and he explained. “I had torn open his brachial artery before you fired. He would have bled to death shortly.”

  His words should have brought some measure of comfort, but they didn’t. Maybe because she had wanted Armando dead. For Victor. For what she had become on his account.

  As she gazed at Armando’s body, lifeless near the edge of the riverbank, she asked, “Will he stay like that? Like a cat?”

  Javier stroked her arm, trying to calm her. “The silver pellets in the shotgun will prevent any transformation.”

  “Even in death?”

  “Even in death,” he confirmed.

  With a nod, she said, “Then it’s over. Get me the hell out of here.”

  Chapter 8

  Four months later,

  New Brunswick, New Jersey

  J essica braced her arms on the metal railing of her balcony, staring down at the slow-moving river before her. The Raritan moved sluggishly through town and toward the Atlantic. Across the way, people were still in the park, even though it was almost dusk. Along the nearest riverbank, a crew team was pulling up to the boathouse dock, while another team walked the scull in for storage.

  So much activity.

  Too much.

  It seemed as if a lifetime had passed since she and Javier had buried Armando’s body by the riverbank, thought it had really only been a few months.

  Her anger had been too great then. She was furious at Armando for killing Victor and, in essence, destroying her. She hated Javier for biting her and for stirring up a mix of emotions she couldn’t seem to escape.

  She hadn’t spoken a word to him during the entire trek back to the mouth of the tributary, where a passing boat had picked them up and returned them to the tribal reservation. She hadn’t said a word to him for the three days his uncle had tended to her wounds and explained what she now was: a were-jaguar like Javier.

  The shaman had urged her to embrace her spirit by undergoing the tribal ritual for bonding with it, but she had refused, needing time and distance to think about all that had happened before making such a life-changing decision.

  Despite denying Antonio’s request, the scientist in her had listened carefully when he described the ritual, storing away as many facts as she could, while the woman within had carefully contained her emotions, schooled the anger she felt at the violation of her body—her body, which felt foreign to her each time she transformed.

  But you would be dead right now, the little voice in her head had whispered to her over and over during the last few months.

  Dead and unable to help anyone, and yet…

  She felt unable to help herself. Try as she might to ignore it, something animal lingered within her. Something that had driven her more often than she cared to admit into long treks deep into the mountains, where she would pitch a tent and, after night rose, release the animal spirit within her and savor the darkness.

  In her jaguar form, she had even given chase to a deer early one morning before realizing that she had to return to her tent and let the human reassume control.

  She was surprised that the ability to change could be dominated and contained, although the process itself still elicited intense pain during each side of the transformation. Even with that pain, the call of the jaguar was too great to resist at times.

  If she was honest with herself, so was the pull of what she had experienced in Javier’s arms. In her quest to help others, Jessica had forgotten that sometimes you had to put yourself first.

  In the months since she had last seen him, a sense of restlessness had sprung up inside her. Even the joy of propagating more plants and isolating the active ingredient from them had been diminished. With the active ingredient now in her pharmaceutical company’s pipeline for additional testing, her everyday work had almost become boring.

  Something was lacking. Something vital.

  Go to him, the voice whispered, and it was echoed by another voice—masculine but with an animal’s rumble: Come to me.

  As she gazed down at the city below, she knew she would.

  The anticipation within her—born of both human and animal desire—said there was still too much left unresolved in the Amazon.

  She would return and try to put things right, find a way to balance her old human existence with the new realities of her life as a were-jaguar.

  Javier’s words came back to her. This place could provide you with much that you seek.

  The Amazon held a wealth of possible new medicines, with so many species and areas left to be discovered. She might be able to keep her promise to her sister and continue her career—not to mention find balance in her personal life—by turning her attention to the Amazon’s undiscovered bounty.

  Jessica hoped that in the process of balancing all those things, she could somehow find a way to share her life with Javier.

  She had been unable to reach Javier by phone. His private cell number went immediately to voicemail, and after leaving a dozen unreturned messages, she stopped calling.

  The man who had answered Javier’s office number told her he worked for Javier’s tour company but that he didn’t know when his boss would be in town again. Apparently, Javier had been spending quite a bit of time at the reservation during the last few months.

  She had arranged for the man to take her upriver, but not to the reservation. Apparently, he was forbidden from traveling there. “The boss’s instructions,” he explained apologetically.

  She masked her anger and disappointment as she arrived at the dock and was greeted solely by Javier’s employee. Javier must still hate me for leaving him, she thought. The hope she’d had about sharing her life with him seemed to be quickly slipping away.

  The man brought her upriver in a brand-new boat. “The boss’s brand-new boat,” he explained.

  The hours on the water were long, and she was unable to enjoy the many sights the way she had during her first trip. The closer they got to the reservation, however, the more the spirit within her stirred, eager to be loose.

  When they were near, she motioned to the man to beach the boat and grabbed her small knapsack. She had packed light, thinking there was little she would need once she reached the tribe.

  If I get there, she thought as she slipped over the side of the boat and sloshed through the shallow waters until she was along the bank. She signaled the boatman that she was fine, and rather reluctantly, he pulled away, seemingly torn between displeasing his boss and leaving her alone in the wild.

  She carefully eased through the underbrush until she was well within the embrace of the rain forest canopy. Once there, she undressed and tucked her clothes into her knapsack. Dropping onto all fours, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, taking the scents of the jungle deep within her.

  She embraced the wild that had been calling to her for months.

  Heat built within her, searing her, firing along her nerve endings as the transformation began.

  A low rumble started as her skin warmed, and golden fur, spotted with nearly black rosettes, replaced the skin. An ache began in the center of her fo
rehead, spreading across her face as it broadened into the flat planes of the cat. The pop and snap of bone and muscle swiftly followed, until the change was complete and the jaguar emerged.

  Jessica inhaled, searching for the scent of something familiar, listening for the sound of humanity. From far away, she detected what she sought.

  Grabbing the strap of the knapsack in her mouth, she loped ahead, her paws digging into the soft ground, kicking up divots as she picked up speed in her haste to be back at the reservation.

  The scents grew stronger. The smells of cooking and humanity. The sounds of activity coming from the village.

  She raced into a clearing, eager to arrive, and from above her came a loud, raucous screech. Thudding to an awkward stop, she looked upward.

  A large hawk rode the air currents above her, circling around and around before it swooped down to land before her.

  In a blink, feathers became skin, and Antonio stood before her, his golden gaze inquisitive as it settled on her.

  “Jessica?”

  She growled her answer, and Antonio smiled, held out his hand to her.

  It was impossible to refuse the pull of his humanity. She summoned that part of her, morphing back to her human form.

  Antonio smiled and said, “Welcome home, Jessica.”

  She wasn’t quite sure she could call it home, but there was a sense of connection here that she had missed while she was in New Jersey.

  “I’m glad that I’m welcome, Antonio,” she said, and reached for her knapsack.

  He turned and looked away as she dressed, but then he slipped his arm through hers and guided her the last few yards to the village.

  As they walked down the main trail, villagers came out of their huts, and by the time they reached the center, a happy group of tribespeople greeted her, welcoming her return.

  But as she searched the crowd, she realized Javier was not among them. She shouldn’t have wondered at his absence, given his failure to return her phone calls and his instructions to his employees. Somehow, though, she had hoped he would be at the reservation.