Thorns of the Past

by Gun Brooke

  “Odd. I noticed that too. Perhaps the ones who remain loyal find it so natural they don’t have to make big declarations.”

  Darcy pushed the heels of her palms into her eyes. “Yes.”

  “Oh no. Please don’t cry.” Holding both Darcy and her pillow close, Sabrina had to wipe at the moisture clinging to her own eyelashes.

  “Damn it. We need to stop being so emotional and mushy. Let’s read through Meghan’s document. I sent it to your email earlier.”

  “All right. Let me get my tablet.” Sabrina stood, slowly extending her legs, having sat on them for too long. “Want to sit at the table?”

  “I prefer the couch, if you don’t mind.” Darcy flashed her a much more confident smile. “That way we can compare notes and still be comfortable.”

  Sabrina started walking but stopped at the threshold. “What should we do for dinner today?”

  “Takeout? Raid my freezer?”

  “Either sounds fine.”

  “Good. Going out to dinner is too dangerous. Someone could spot you and follow us back. That’d compromise my address as well.”

  “Oh, God, no.” Sabrina gripped the doorframe hard.

  “We’ll be fine here.” Darcy’s calm demeanor was reassuring. She stood and fetched her laptop from the small desk in the far-right corner. “I’ll just get a head start on the reading.”

  Sabrina nodded and walked up the stairs. With each step, different images of kissing Darcy flickered through her mind. Her nipples hardened at the memory of how Darcy had felt against her, her scent, her taste. The firm muscles of her arms and abdomen had buzzed under Sabrina’s fingertips, and the way they’d clung to each other, with such abandon, made it impossible to disregard the incident as a mere attempt at physical release to shake off the stress from earlier in the day. This wasn’t just that—not for Sabrina, and clearly not for the romantically inclined Darcy.

  Grabbing her tablet, she made sure it was charged before she headed back downstairs. As she reached the living room, she had to stop and simply take in the sight of Darcy fully focused on reading her cousin’s document. Darcy’s ponytail had come undone, and her long hair fell around her shoulders like honey and melted dark chocolate. Sabrina wanted to wrap that hair around her fingers and pull Darcy into another kiss and then undress her and…Mentally scolding herself for her thoughts when she needed to pay attention to their all-overshadowing problem, Sabrina strode over to the couch. Khan raised his head and seemed to acknowledge that she indeed was a friend before he fell asleep again.

  Sitting down, Sabrina got ready to read about her past as seen from a private investigator’s point of view. At this point she was beyond feeling stripped bare. Perhaps she was becoming jaded to some degree. As for the part about the worst years of her life, she settled for it being accurate.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The document was extensive, as it contained reports from the campus police and witnesses, and information about injuries, etc. Having built up an impressive web of contacts in the area, Meghan had used a contact at the college and had them dig through files and old papers, which gave her access to otherwise buried information. Most of the artifacts had been digitalized over the fifteen years, which was the only reason Meghan had been able to assemble everything this fast. The email accompanying the files held her personal observations.

  Darcy—this was truly a different time, but I’m sad to say the rape culture at these institutions is still alive and kicking. Drives me crazy. In short, after the assault against her, this woman was screwed over by the dean and the campus police that were clearly in the dean’s pocket. They not only discouraged her from reporting it to the regular police, but they allowed severe victim shaming and failed Sabrina Hawk on so many levels. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but from the information you’ve given me—I get a feeling her past has somehow intertwined with the present. I suggest finding a common denominator if possible.

  Stay safe, cousin. That’s an order. And, while we’re on the subject, she truly is as beautiful as you said. I can see why you have a crush on her.

  Meghan

  Darcy wanted to hide. Sabrina was still upstairs fetching her tablet. Darcy had simply forwarded the entire email, not having paid attention to the part after “stay safe” at the very end. Trust Meghan to put a totally inappropriate remark into the message. It was too late to do anything about it now. Besides, Sabrina must have caught on to how Darcy felt, at least to some degree. All the talk earlier of romance and attraction suggested that possibility.

  When Sabrina rejoined Darcy on the couch and pulled up her email, Darcy tried to act casual as she kept reading, but not only the slightly embarrassing email disturbed her. The dean’s recount of Sabrina’s assault was enough to make her mouth taste of iron.

  “A crush, hmm?” Sabrina said absentmindedly.

  “My cousin. Can’t take her anywhere.” Darcy forced a smile in Sabrina’s direction. “She exaggerates.”

  “She does? How disappointing.” Sabrina adjusted her glasses and kept reading.

  Disappointing? Was Sabrina joking? Darcy gripped the sides of her laptop harder and continued to read the document signed by the college dean in 2003.

  …and when Ms. Hawk suggests these masked men attacked her, I feel it is little more than a young woman regretting drinking too much and ending up having casual sex. As Ms. Hawk comes from a prominent family that has many family members among the alumni of this college, I can see where she would stoop to such smokescreens to keep up appearances when facing her family. I have spoken to her parents, as they are great benefactors of our school, and they deserve to know the truth. They are naturally disappointed in their daughter’s conduct, but I have tried to let them know that her actions are no worse than those of many others. During the freshman year, many young women experiment with alcohol and thus get into situations they later regret. When such things happen, young men’s bright futures are jeopardized if such small indiscretions become part of their permanent record.

  I think in this case that Ms. Hawk has seen the error of her ways. I rely on her many friends to help keep her grounded and discourage her from excessive drinking or, worse, potentially using marijuana.

  I have instructed Sergeant Woolsey to include my findings in his final report. We are usually in consensus in these matters, and I don’t want any miscommunication to cause any trouble for either Ms. Hawk or any of the young men who participated in the beach party in question.

  On a finishing note, I have suggested that I find it a good idea for Ms. Hawk to utilize any of the counselors available on campus. So far, I don’t think she has heeded my advice, which I think is yet more proof that her initial assault allegations are unfounded and overstated.

  Darcy wanted to slam the laptop down on the coffee table, so furious she could barely speak. “If that’s what you had to deal with back then, I admire your restraint. I would’ve killed the dean and the sergeant and…who else was with him and spouting that garbage!”

  Sabrina had snapped her head up, wide-eyed and with her mouth describing a perfect O. “Yes, it wasn’t fun. As I keep reading, in a way it’s like it happened to someone else, but it also comes back to me in nauseating detail.” Sabrina’s voice was matter of fact, but the hands holding her tablet shook. “Fifteen years is a long time, but I can hear their voices, you know? Like it was last week.”

  “And the two different statements by these two women, Calista and Dawn? Who got to them in between the statements? That’s what I want to know.”

  “Dean Bradley Stewart. He was a formidable presence in that old building from the 1700s, where he presided like royalty. He would sit behind his antique oak desk, elevated on a dais, which made you feel very small when he told you to sit down in one of his visitors’ chairs.” Sabrina slid closer to Darcy. “And he was cunning. He would sound very caring. I remember his voice as a beautiful deep baritone, and he’d lace his fingers and regard you with such soulful, disappointed eyes that
you were ready to admit to every sin ever committed just to please him. Normally, that was the case. After my assault, his spell over me broke. When I realized he had manipulated everyone, including Callie and Dawn, made them believe what he preached was indisputable gospel, and that he was practically God, I…I was furious. I stood in that office, refused to sit, and I told him in detail what had happened whether he wanted to hear it or not. In retrospect, I should have taken a Dictaphone with me, but I didn’t think that far.”

  “And your parents took the road of least resistance?”

  “They swallowed everything he said.” Sabrina tipped her head forward and rested her forehead on Darcy’s shoulder. “When he then sent the campus police report, one copy to me and one to my parents, and Sergeant Woolsey had signed off on everything—on every lie, I knew I couldn’t do anything from then on. I spent the rest of the term and my sophomore year looking at every young man I saw, trying to find a bite mark on his hand, wondering if he’d been one of the three.”

  “But your bruises? The fact that Calista and Dawn, and several others, described what state they found you in on the beach? How the hell did they account for that?” Darcy scrolled through the document and found pictures. She could tell they weren’t taken by the police, but with someone’s private camera in a dorm room. “Who took these?” She turned her laptop to show Sabrina.

  Staring at the screen, Sabrina gaped. “How did you find those? I mean, your cousin?” Sabrina pressed three fingertips against her lip, keeping them from trembling for a moment. “Callie snapped those before she and Dawn accepted the general consensus that nothing happened the way I knew it had. They even stopped me from showering or anything before they alerted the campus police. The police, who came to the dorm, of course, were two older guys who had retired from the regular police force. They acted very condescending, at least the sergeant did—the other cop simply followed suit. Afterward, Callie and Dawn were furious and decided we needed to take what they called crime photos, since the cops hadn’t bothered with that or anything else. I was so shocked at that point, I didn’t even realize these guys weren’t the same as the regular police. When I finally did go to the police station in town, weeks later, it was much too late, and no evidence or testimony showing I was telling the truth existed anymore. My bruises had healed, and my former friends had been coerced into taking another viewpoint. Not even these photos were uncovered. The dean must’ve gotten them from Callie and buried them. It’s astounding that he didn’t burn them.”

  Darcy looked reluctantly at the photos. Dressed in panties only, a very young Sabrina stood rigidly in the middle of the room, and her roommate had photographed her from all four angles. She had bruises from fingers and palms on her arms, legs, breasts, and stomach. “I can’t imagine how that must’ve been for you, Sabrina.” Tears overflowed and ran silently down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry they did this to you. First those guys and then the school, the cops, and your parents failed you. It shouldn’t have happened.” Setting the laptop down on the coffee table, Darcy turned to Sabrina and cupped her cheeks. “I believe every word you say. These idiots tried to rape you, and I’m glad they never got that far. It was horrible the way it was.”

  “The assault itself, I have to say, I’ve put behind me. I do have occasional flashbacks. You know. Certain sights, certain sounds or smells might trigger it. But the betrayal, something that’s still happening with my parents to this day, when I was blamed for everything, has never gone away. I may push it out of my mind sometimes, but it bounces back with a vengeance. Now when I get these notes and know that someone is out to get me, and your cousin intuitively feels it can be related somehow…it frightens me, Darcy. It really does, and I hate admitting to that.”

  It frightened Darcy as well, on Sabrina’s account. “We’ll figure it out. I promise you I won’t stop until I know what’s going on. We’ll do it together. And we have Meghan, Karimi and his people, Benny and Khan…” Darcy pushed thick tresses of Sabrina’s hair behind her delicate ears. Her earlobes held pearls that reflected the light from the fire.

  “That’s a tall order. Perhaps too tall. This could drag out…you don’t know that. I promise I won’t hold you to—”

  “Shh. We’ll find out who’s behind this, and I’ll keep you safe in the meanwhile. You’re not just any client, my queen. You have to realize that by now, right?” Darcy wanted to be transparent and not yet another one lying to Sabrina. Even if it made her blush.

  “Your queen.”

  This time there was no question mark after Sabrina’s words. It was as if she were trying the moniker on for size. Darcy was grateful Sabrina didn’t dismiss it instantly.

  “All right. Thank you.”

  Sighing, Sabrina buried her face against Darcy’s neck, and they remained like that for a few long, precious minutes.

  * * *

  Later that evening as Sabrina was getting ready for bed, she heard Darcy walk around downstairs, going from room to room. After a while Darcy came back upstairs, followed by the unmistakable sound of claws against the wooden steps.

  “Stay here, Khan. Keep watch.” Darcy kept moving toward her bedroom, and Sabrina clearly heard the large dog slump down by the top of the stairs.

  They had kept reading through the documents, trying to find any sort of credible links that might hint at what was going on. Sabrina had wracked her brain trying to remember the names of the young men present at the beach party. Reading from lists of names and trying to put faces to all of them was an impossible feat, and they had gotten through only two-thirds of them. Darcy had brought up the subject of going through Sabrina’s list of clients, and Sabrina had finally agreed, as only she could decide if anything was amiss among their latest financial endeavors.

  After climbing into bed, Sabrina let the small lamp on the nightstand remain on. She didn’t enjoy sleeping in a strange room. Having a lamp on helped in case she woke from a bad dream, something that happened more seldom nowadays, but still often enough to be on her mind at bedtime.

  Sabrina placed her glasses and her cell phone attached to its charger on the nightstand and then wrapped the soft duvet around her. She did feel safe in Darcy’s house and had to admit that having Khan there was part of it. As she closed her eyes, she thought of the unexpected moments on the couch when she’d lowered her guard with Darcy. Was Darcy perhaps thinking about it too as she got ready for bed? She hadn’t contradicted her cousin, teasing her about having a crush on Sabrina. For having gone through something so hellacious while on the force, Darcy was emotionally so much braver than Sabrina when it came to being honest about her emotions. Darcy might not realize how vulnerable she could seem at times, but to Sabrina it was becoming clearer each time they talked. She could only imagine what a number Darcy’s past had done on her. In a sense, they had that in common, having something so horrifying, so traumatic, happen to them—and getting blamed for it by people who should’ve had their backs.

  The buzzing sound from her cell phone alerted her to a text message, making Sabrina flinch and sit up so fast her neck smarted. Glancing at her screen, she saw she had missed a text from Daniel earlier, and she found a new one after his. After she donned her glasses, she tapped the one from her brother, apprehensive but wanting to know how they were doing. She had meant to call him when she arrived at Darcy’s place but had cowardly put it off.

  Sabrina, I’m sorry for yelling at you. Please let me know you’re all right. Lorna, the boys, and I are all worried about you. Mother and Father have gone home. I told them not to come back until they apologize to you. They went too far, and both Lorna and I’ve had enough. I’ll try to call you tomorrow if it’s okay.

  Sabrina smiled and could hear her brother’s voice as she read his message. So, even Dan, the peacemaker of the family, had had enough of their parents this time. Imagine that. She answered with a short note.

  Still upset about putting you and family in danger. I’m sorry too. Yes. Call me tomorrow.

  A
fter tapping the last message, still feeling relieved she was on the right track again with Dan, she simply stared at the screen.

  So, you have a bodyguard, Sabrina? That won’t work either. You only endanger her as you did your family. There is no hiding.

  Dropping the phone on the bed as if it burned her hand, Sabrina drew a trembling breath. Who the hell knew her private number? Her business email wasn’t hard to get, but a text to her private cell phone was another matter. Perhaps they had found the information when they broke into her office?

  She sat in her bed, holding her bent legs to her chest, but that didn’t do much to calm her racing heart. Were they outside right now, just waiting to enter? Perhaps hurt both Darcy and the dog? What good was a watchdog if they shot him on sight? Sabrina knew Darcy was armed, but what if they had disarmed the alarm system here too and surprised her while she was asleep?

  Realizing she was scaring herself into a panic attack, Sabrina got up and opened the door. She went into the bathroom, looking longingly at the tub. As much as she would love to use it again, she couldn’t start running the faucet and risk waking Darcy. After using the toilet, she studied her reflection while washing her hands. She was beyond pale, and the perpetually dark circles under her eyes, something she’d had the last month after the threats started, looked black. Her eyes seemed to have lost all color, and she’d need very little makeup to join the cast of The Walking Dead.

  A discreet knock on the door made her jump.

  “Sabrina? I heard you get up again. Are you okay?” Darcy asked.

  “Yes. I’m fine. Thank you.” Sabrina wiped her hands on a guest towel and opened the door. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “I was awake. Reading.” Darcy looked up at her. “You don’t look quite okay. What’s wrong?”