A Taste of the Untamed

by Susan Stephens

  ‘Clouds,’ she said suddenly.

  He held his breath, certain she would come back to him.

  ‘That’s what I miss the most,’ she said. ‘I miss staring into the sky and deciding what the shapes are—I miss watching them scudding by to who knows where? I bet your mother used to look up and wonder if those same clouds were going to travel to where your father was. She must have been so lonely and frightened, Nacho.’

  ‘And if you were alone here without friends?’

  ‘I can’t imagine that,’ Grace said, remembering the young girl at the grape-treading and the kindness of Maria and Alejandro.

  ‘You can’t imagine being alone in this wilderness?’ Nacho pressed.

  She huffed a small laugh. ‘Wilderness is a state of mind, surely? I’ve got the same view here as I do in London—that is to say nothing much. But that’s okay,’ she said, brightening as she thought about it, ‘because I like people so much, and I like to think I can make friends anywhere. And don’t forget your mother went back for her ring. She must have loved your father or why would she bother? And why would your father try to rescue your mother if he didn’t love her?’

  ‘You’re such a dreamer, Grace.’

  ‘Is that such a bad thing? Isn’t it better to dream happy dreams than have nightmares? Life is fragile, but love is stronger. Sometimes I think we get those two things mixed up. Your parents were human and flawed, but at the end they proved they loved each other. If they were guilty of anything it was taking each other for granted. The real tragedy is that they were killed before they could make things right.’

  ‘And what about us, Grace?’

  ‘Us?’

  Biting down on her lip, she looked as if she might cry. Only Grace’s sheer force of will drove the tears back, he suspected.

  ‘This is so unfair,’ she said, lifting her face to his. ‘You’re not supposed to read my feelings like a book. I’m supposed to be the one who senses things.’

  ‘So what do your senses tell you, Grace?’

  Her eyes welled with tears. ‘You make me feel too much,’ she said in an angry voice.

  ‘But that’s a good thing, isn’t it?’

  She shook her head, as if he had missed the point entirely. ‘Nacho, for goodness’ sake, what do you think I am? I would never burden you with a blind woman—’

  ‘Stop that.’ Dragging Grace into his arms, he embraced her as if his life depended on it, only now realising what he had almost lost. ‘Don’t you ever say anything like that again,’ he warned.

  ‘Why not, when it’s true?’ she said. ‘You’ve spent your life caring for other people. This is your time now, Nacho.’

  ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he said, holding Grace tight against his chest. ‘Still not,’ he said when she made a feeble attempt to push him away.

  ‘I’m warning you—’

  ‘No, you’re not,’ he argued gently. ‘You’re asking for reassurance, and that’s all I want to give you. I’m not very good at expressing myself, Grace, but in my eyes you’re perfect. There’s so much I want to show you.’ He swore softly beneath his breath, realizing that even now he could get it wrong. ‘So much I want you to experience,’ he clarified, angry with himself for being so clumsy when words had never mattered more.

  This wasn’t about Grace being blind, or him wanting to smother or control her. He wanted to protect her when she couldn’t help herself, and there were times when even the strongest woman couldn’t do that. He wanted to be there for her in the darkness and in the light. He just wanted to be with her—and he wanted Grace to feel the same way about him.

  ‘No, Nacho. I couldn’t do that to you.’

  She was tempted—God knew she was tempted. There was so much she had grown to love in Argentina—the kindness of the people, the scents and sounds of a new country, the rhythm of life on the vineyard …

  And Nacho …

  Nacho was a good enough reason as any to go away. She had always prided herself on being a realist, and an affair with Nacho could only leave her shredded and facing a whole new mountain to climb when the affair ended.

  Was she a coward now? Too frightened to love?

  Love wasn’t even a word that was relevant where Nacho was concerned. Her feelings for him were complex. Sexual feelings had mixed with this recent bond of friendship, confusing her into believing what she felt had somewhere to grow. At best they were business associates and maybe friends. And what really frightened her about that was the more he encouraged her the more she might depend on him—losing her freedom, losing her will to fight.

  ‘Grace?’

  She turned towards the sound of his voice.

  ‘So you’re still with me?’ he murmured, in that dark, husky, sexy voice.

  ‘I’m still here,’ she confirmed. ‘I was just enjoying the sounds of the countryside while I can.’

  ‘You can’t wait to leave?’

  ‘My life is in the crowded city. Your life is here on the pampas, with your vineyards and your horses.’

  ‘You sound very sure.’

  ‘I know I can’t stay,’ she said, determined she wouldn’t burden him. Yes, in the light of what had happened today, the truly wonderful news at the vineyard, Nacho was naturally upbeat and could only see bright things in the future—while she liked to think she was more of a realist who knew this burst of light would eventually fade into darkness again.

  ‘You can’t stay or you won’t?’ Nacho demanded.

  ‘I can’t and I won’t,’ she said.

  Ironically, the birdsong chose the moment Grace decided not to stay with him to reach its climax. The fact that she had refused made no difference to the rowdy and enthusiastic chorus. It was like the wrong soundtrack for a film—discordant and inappropriate.

  ‘So, you won’t even stay to celebrate, when people will surely want to thank you for what you’ve done?’

  ‘It’s you they should thank,’ she said, wobbling a little as she stood up on the uneven bank. Then she relented. ‘I’ll stay until I’m sure the vines have recovered—If you want me to.’

  ‘Of course I want you to. What would the celebration be without you? Your prompt action saved the vineyard. I’m going to invite everyone who works here and bring the whole family over to make it something really special for you.’

  ‘I said I’d stay until the vines had recovered. I said nothing about staying on for a party.’ She gave a small smile. ‘I’m only sorry I won’t be here to share it with you.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ Defeat being snatched from the jaws of victory described this moment perfectly. ‘What happened to all that brave talk about seeing things through to the end, Grace? You’re all right with the bad stuff, but not with the good—is that it?’

  ‘That’s not fair,’ she protested. ‘My job here is done. As soon as I can make a report to Elias with a clear conscience I have to get back to him. You’ll get your order,’ she said.

  His order? He had almost forgotten the damn order.

  ‘I’ve got to go,’ Grace insisted, moving away from him. ‘I’ve got a life to live and a career to pursue.’

  ‘And a duty to see this through!’ he shouted after her.

  Honouring his promise not to treat Grace as if there was something wrong with her meant watching and doing nothing as she crawled on her hands and knees up the bank, feeling for hazards on the ground along the way. He hated every loathsome second of it—but that was Grace, he accepted. That determined, stubborn, courageous blind woman was who she was, and if he couldn’t accept it he should let her go.

  He went after her.

  ‘So what’s your hurry?’ he said. ‘What are you so frightened of, Grace?’

  ‘Nothing,’ she said, straightening up to confront him, her determined stare missing his face by a mile.

  ‘Then why are you shutting me out?’

  ‘Why am I shutting you out? You’ve got a nerve after the way you’ve been behaving.’

  ‘Do we
need to go back over that?’ he demanded, towering over her.

  With an angry huff of frustration she felt for a space to get past him, with her arms outstretched like a child about to pin a tail on the donkey. The sight tore him up—but Grace was no child, and the bank was full of potential risk as she climbed rapidly, recklessly, away from him.

  ‘Will you be satisfied when you’ve fallen into the river?’ he demanded in a fury of concern.

  She stopped and turned so abruptly he felt sure she’d tumble down the bank. He was aching with tension from standing ready to catch her if she slipped, but even that was nothing to the pain in his heart.

  ‘What are you frightened of, Grace?’ he said again.

  ‘Me? Frightened?’ she demanded, with an incredulous laugh in her voice.

  ‘Why can’t you risk giving any part of yourself to another person? Why do you always see that as giving up your independence? The Grace who recovered from the challenges you’ve faced should move on now, not close her mind to possibilities.’

  ‘What possibilities?’ she said impatiently. ‘I’ve done everything I’ve been advised to do. I attended the rehabilitation centre religiously. I learned to read Braille. And thanks to your sister, I have Buddy to help me do practically anything a sighted person can do—’

  ‘I’m talking about personal relationships,’ he interrupted. ‘What about those, Grace? No one could ever accuse you of falling short where practicalities are concerned.’

  ‘All right!’ she exclaimed angrily. ‘So you didn’t get it the first time. I don’t want to be a burden, Nacho. Do you get it now?’

  ‘I’m afraid I don’t,’ he said. ‘Have you considered that it might be you who sees yourself as a burden and no one else does? Can you give me one example of when you’ve been a burden while you’ve been here? You have performed better than most experts in your field. And I certainly haven’t heard anything to the contrary from my staff. They’re very grateful to you, Grace, as I am. So I don’t get all this nonsense about being a burden.’

  Biting down on her lip, she shook her head, as if she couldn’t believe he couldn’t see the truth in front of his eyes. ‘People are wary when they meet me for the first time—like they’re not quite sure what I might ask them to do.’

  ‘Stop right there,’ he said, grabbing her arms. ‘Is that how Alejandro treated you? Or Maria? Or the old guy at the cantina? Are you saying that’s how I am? Or is this all in your head, Grace? Are you the one who’s guilty of prejudice here? You’ve had a traumatic time—I get that. And then a healing time of readjustment—I get that too. But now you’re on your way, and it’s time for you to move forward—not look back. You’re so good at helping others. Why can’t you help yourself? At least stay on for the party,’ he insisted when she started to pull away. ‘You helped to avert a catastrophe. You owe yourself that much, Grace.’ ‘I didn’t do it for a pay-off.’

  ‘I’m not saying you did, but you should be gracious enough to allow the people who work here to thank you.’

  ‘Blackmail, Nacho?’

  ‘Whatever it takes,’ he said dragging her into his arms.

  Nacho’s kiss was fierce to begin with, but then it became long and gentle, and after all the passion flying between them what she really wanted now was just for him to hold her so she could stop fighting for a while.

  ‘So what’s your answer, Grace? I think I know where you’re at,’ Nacho added in a whisper against her hair. ‘I’m an expert in knowing that when you start a fight it’s very hard to draw back and almost impossible to take time out so you can see there could be another, even better way. You don’t have to race back to London to find another dragon to slay. Why don’t we play out what we’ve got here and see where it leads?’

  ‘What about my career? I’m just getting started.’

  ‘So go back to London after the celebrations, if that’s what you want. I’ll just make one more observation. Your knowledge of viticulture is bang up to date, and that’s something we’re badly in need of here.’

  ‘Are you offering me a job?’ she said, lifting her head.

  ‘If you find that suggestion more acceptable than any other,’ he said wryly, ‘then yes, I am. You’ve certainly more than proved we need someone like you on the team, Grace.’

  ‘And when my contract ends? This sounds like a short-term contract with long-term repercussions.’

  ‘Why are you always so ready to be hurt? And stop avoiding the issue. Or are you frightened to face the truth?’

  ‘What truth?’ she said, frowning.

  ‘That this isn’t about the vineyards now. It’s about you and me.’

  Turning away from him, she hugged herself. ‘I don’t want to be hurt,’ she blurted, burying her chin in her chest. ‘I don’t think I could handle it.’

  ‘Who says I’m going to hurt you, Grace?’ he argued, pulling her close again. ‘You’ve been through a lot—more than I can imagine. Your emotional bank is drained. But you can fill it again and I can help you—if you’ll let me.’

  ‘What about Elias and my training? I can’t just leave him in the lurch and come and work for you.’

  ‘Can’t you do both?’ he said. ‘I would have thought you could get around the world even faster for Elias with the Acosta jet at your disposal …’

  ‘Are you serious?’

  Nacho’s answer was to draw her into his arms. ‘Never more so,’ he said.

  Was it wrong to rest here, where she felt so safe? Was it dangerous to admit that together they might be stronger, and that that thought had nothing at all to do with her love of sight?

  ‘You do know Elias is retiring soon?’ Nacho said.

  ‘He told you that?’ Surprised, she placed her hands flat against his chest, where the beat of Nacho’s heart was strong and steady.

  ‘He did more than that,’ Nacho explained. Taking her hands, he raised them to his lips, kissing each of them in turn. ‘Elias called me and asked if I would be interested in buying his business.’

  ‘What?’ she breathed. She was stunned by this new information, but now she could see it made perfect sense for both men. ‘Elias could retire in comfort while you would have the whole process covered from vine to glass.’

  ‘An undreamed of advancement for the business,’ Nacho confirmed. ‘And with you by my side. Come and join me, Grace,’ he challenged. ‘The vineyards need you, the people who work here need you—I need you.’

  ‘You need me?’

  Nacho didn’t touch her and he didn’t speak. This was her decision to make alone. She had never wanted to be a wealthy man’s woman, cossetted and protected from the realities of life, and she didn’t want it now she was blind. She was used to fighting every day just to stay in the same place. But wasn’t fighting for the livelihoods of the people who worked here a battle worth winning too? Wasn’t confronting life head-on worth some effort? Or was she going to hide away now she’d reached a certain level in her recovery, and declare herself out?

  ‘Just think of what you could achieve here, Grace—what we could both achieve. Don’t let your blindness prevent you from taking this next step forward. You’ve learned to ride while you’ve been here. What’s stopping you now? You can do anything you want to do.’

  ‘What are you saying, Nacho?’

  ‘I’m saying that I love you, and that I want you to stay with me always.’

  ‘You love me?’

  Terror suffused her. Not at the thought of all the work ahead of her, but at the thought of the biggest step of all … Love. Commitment to love for ever. Committing herself to Nacho. Risking her heart for something bigger than both of them. It was all she wanted, but now she could have it her courage had gone. He was right about her emotional bank being depleted. It was empty. She had nothing left to give him.

  ‘This is where you belong. I belong in London. Please don’t fight me on this, Nacho. My decision’s made.’

  He made no attempt to follow Grace as she struggled to the top o
f the bank. Her determination was, as ever, uncompromising. When she stumbled she picked herself up. When a tree branch slapped her in the face she pushed it away and moved on. He felt more emotion in those few seconds than he could ever remember feeling before. He had felt little since the day of the tragedy, and nothing came close to this.

  But seeing Grace on the point of throwing away her life galvanised him into action, and in a couple of bounds he was ahead of her on the bank. There was only one certainty in his mind. The only woman he had ever loved wasn’t going to walk out of his life for ever.

  ‘I won’t let you go,’ he said fiercely.

  ‘You can’t stop me,’ she warned, clearly frantic in her darkness.

  ‘You don’t have to fight all the time, Grace,’ he said, holding her close. ‘It’s great to be in control—Dios, I should know. But it isn’t a sign of weakness to share the load. Everyone has to ask for help from time to time, whether they can see or not. Give yourself a break, Grace. Stand still for a moment and think about what you’ve accomplished.’

  She turned her face towards him and his heart soared.

  ‘Did you really just say you love me?’

  ‘Yes, I did.’ Reaching for Grace’s hands, he knotted their fingers. ‘And I’ll never take you for granted,’ he whispered fiercely, dragging her into his arms.

  Concern for his mistress had brought Buddy snuffling round their feet. ‘Not this time, boy,’ he murmured as he swept Grace into his arms and carried her towards the cottage. ‘I’ll take over now …’

  He carried Grace up the stairs into the small bedroom, where the windows were open to allow the early evening breeze to cool a room scented with day-warmed frangipani. He undressed her slowly, reverently, and then, stripping off his own clothes, he stretched out beside her on the crisp linen sheets.

  ‘Just hold me,’ she whispered.

  To hold Grace in his arms was all he wanted. He could think of nothing he wanted more than to sleep with her and wake with her in the morning. To share tomorrow and the next day and the next with Grace. To live with her until they were both old and surrounded by their children and their children’s children.