Dear Yvette

by Ni-Ni Simone

  “Would y’all drop it!” I said.

  I knew Reesie was only concerned about me and I shouldn’t have snapped at her, but damn, she didn’t know when to bug off. All I needed was a minute to collect myself and get my feelings in check. Especially since I was the one in the crew who never acted sad or bothered by anything.

  I had to be the tough one. ’Cause that was the role I liked. The queen of no-sweat. The one who always gave the bomb girlfriend advice about life. The one to always tell my crew, when a boo hurt their feelings, that boys came a dime a dozen. And the secret to surviving love was to dump them before they could dump you.

  “Look, Reesie, I’m sorry for snappin’. But I’m fine. Seriously, I am.” I tried to smile but failed.

  Reesie wasn’t buying it. “Lies and deceit.” She slammed her hands on the table. “We’re your friends and we know you’re lyin’. The question is, why?”

  Ebony said, “You look like you’re two seconds from crying.”

  I was.

  Tasha popped her lips and blurted, “She and Brooklyn broke up.”

  “What?!” Ebony and Reesie said simultaneously.

  I gasped and said, pissed off, “Tasha, you promised you wouldn’t say anything!”

  Tasha spat, “I couldn’t hold it in another minute. Plus, I’m tired of you being all quiet and depressed. I want the old Yvette back.”

  “So why did y’all break up?” Ebony said.

  “I wanna know that too,” Reesie demanded, “’cause I’m not accepting you two breaking up. After Jerelle, you and Brooklyn restored my faith in black love. Y’all were my brown sugar. Sweet molasses in the summer time. Oh hell, no! This ain’t about to go down.”

  “Did he cheat on you or something?” Ebony asked.

  “Ebony,” Reesie said, “I was thinking the same thing, ’cause what else could it be?”

  Tasha snapped, runnin’ her mouth like I wasn’t even sittin’ there. “The problem is your girl Alesha.”

  Reesie cocked her neck to the left and parked it there. “Say what? Hold up; back up and rewind. See, this is how rumors get started. For one, she is not my girl. Y’all”—she pointed at the three of us—“are my girls. Me and Alesha are just cool. I thought her brother was cute, and I was using her to get close to him. That’s it. Plus, y’all know I’m friendly with everybody. Watch this.” She turned around and waved at the students who sat at the table behind us. “Hey, Reesie!” they called out and waved back.

  Reesie returned her attention to us. “I call them the United Nations. ’Cause one of them is Chinese, one Dominican, and the girl on the end is albino. I’m nice to everybody, but that don’t make them my friends. And that includes Alesha. Now what that ho do?”

  “Well,” I said, finally speakin’ up. “She’s pregnant. By Brooklyn.”

  Reesie looked taken aback. “Pregnant? When did that happen and by whom again?”

  “Brooklyn,” Tasha said.

  “What? Are you sure?” Ebony asked.

  Reesie snapped, “That trick is lyin’! She just asked me for a tampon in the bathroom this morning. So did she get pregnant in the last five minutes?”

  Tampon? “She told Brooklyn she was three months pregnant,” I said.

  “Lies and deceit. Ain’t no way!” Reesie insisted. “So is Brooklyn saying he was cheating on you with Alesha? Oh, I will cuss both of their raggedy behinds out!”

  I said, “No, he claims he was with her close to four months ago and that if she is pregnant, he don’t think it’s his. Whatever.”

  Reesie said, “Don’t believe the hype. She talkin’ all that jazz because she’s jealous of you and mad because Brooklyn loves you. I wouldn’t let her have my man.” Reesie shook her head and hopped out of her seat. “So you need to get up out of that funk, come with me over there, and let’s go check this ho about your man! Hell with that sad woe-is-me crap. Screw that!”

  “Reesie, wait!” I said. “They not even worth it. Let it go!”

  “Girl, please. I’ma go handle that!” She stormed over to the table where Brooklyn sat and Alesha stood beside him looking mad, with her arms folded over her chest. “Excuse you,” Reesie looked over at Brooklyn. “You know it’s about to go down, right?”

  “Reesie!” I said, as me, Tasha, and Ebony all hopped out of our seats and rushed over to her side. “Chill. I don’t even care.”

  “Oh, you care,” Reesie stated. “And I don’t like liars. Plus, this is more about me than you. I need my faith in black love restored.” She looked over at Alesha. “Now, back to you, Miss Stank-A-Dank. I heard you’re supposed to be pregnant.”

  “Why are you in my business?” Alesha snapped.

  “When you messed with my girl, you made it my business! Now I wanna know how are you pregnant when I just gave you a tampon in the bathroom this morning?”

  “This morning?” Brooklyn said, taken aback.

  Alesha’s mouth dropped open; then she said, “I don’t have to explain nothin’ to you. You’re not my man.”

  Brooklyn snapped, “I’m not your man either, so don’t even come over here with that! So just like I thought, you lied.”

  “I don’t have to lie about bein’ pregnant!” Alesha screamed. “I took the test and I haven’t had my period in a month. She didn’t give me no tampon!”

  “A month?” Brooklyn frowned. “You told me three months!”

  “I said three weeks!”

  “You are a three-weeks lie!” Reesie said. “’Cause your period was on this morning!”

  “Yo, I can’t believe you!” Brooklyn spat. “I should’ve known better than to even think for a moment that you were tellin’ the truth. Get away from me!”

  Alesha looked at Reesie and just as she charged toward her, the security guard stepped in.

  “What’s goin’ on over here?! Break it up!”

  “You better not let me catch you!” Alesha screamed at Reesie.

  Ebony cocked her neck. “Trick, we’ll be out after school waitin’ on you. If you want it, come get it.”

  Reesie looked at me. “Told you she was lyin’. Lyin’ on black love, you ain’t gon’ have no good luck.” She shook her head. “Now go get your man, kiss, and make up.”

  I glanced over at Brooklyn and for a moment I considered doin’ exactly what Reesie had said. Then I remembered that this wasn’t a romance novel; this was life, and life ain’t work that way. And as far as renewing my boo-vows with Brooklyn, I wasn’t up for it.

  The bell rang.

  I turned away from Brooklyn and said to Reesie, “I gotta get to class. I don’t wanna be late.”

  34

  It’s Love

  Summer: A month later

  It was a sweltering ninety degrees in July. Me, Tasha, and Kamari had just come back from the park, when Tasha stopped in the middle of our block and said, “Wait a minute; is that Brooklyn?”

  She peered at Ms. Glo’s porch, then said, “Yeah, baby. Umm-hmm. That’s him sitting on the bottom step, and from the look on his face, he’s been sitting there for a minute. Wait until I tell Reesie and Ebony this.”

  “You tell everything.” I sucked my teeth.

  “Whatever,” she said.

  “Guess Brooklyn doesn’t take no easily,” I said, more to myself than to Tasha.

  “Guess not,” Tasha said. “You’d better go and get your man. He’s sitting there looking all hungry for you. If I was you, I’d probably run to him and jump in his arms.”

  “Thank goodness I’m not you. And he is not my man; you know that,” I said, holding Kamari’s hand.

  “Tell him that. Come on, Kamari. I’ll race you inside to get some of Aunty Glo’s homemade ice cream.”

  “Ice cream!” Kamari screamed, as she and Tasha took off down the street and up the porch steps. They waved at Brooklyn before going inside and closing the door behind them.

  Don’t smile.

  And don’t trip.

  Just ask him. “Is your phone broken or somethin’?
” I said, and pointed. “There is a pay phone down the street, unless you didn’t have a quarter. But, umm, either way, you could’ve called me before you staked out my porch and posted up. That’s a bit much, don’t you think?”

  “You can chill with all that mouth. You know I’ve called you, over and over again. Nobody answers and if they do, you tell Tasha or Ms. Glo to tell me you’ll call me back, and you never do. I’m tired of that.”

  “Then you should stop calling. Step off.”

  “You really want me to step off?”

  “You can do what you wanna do. I’m just sayin’, if your feet feel the need to leave, I’m not one for stopping you.”

  He squinted. “Why are you acting so cold and nasty to me, Bricks?”

  I blinked and shoved a hand up my hip. “Oh, now it’s Bricks.”

  “I always call you Bricks.”

  “You didn’t the night your baby mama stepped up on the scene. I was Yvette that night.”

  “She’s not my baby mama. And you know I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “Whether you meant it or not, you did.”

  “Now what?”

  “Now nothing. You lied to me. Tried to twist things around and make me seem like the problem. Maybe I didn’t handle it the best way, but I was trying to get my thoughts straight. Not break us up.” I flicked my wrist. “Whatever. It’s cool. I could care less. We tried love; it didn’t work. It never works, and I just added you to the dime-a-dozen bullshitters who have passed through my life.”

  Brooklyn paused. I could tell that my comments struck him right where I wanted them to, in the heart.

  “All of this behind one mistake. So everything else we shared no longer matters? So Alesha is getting what she wanted anyway,” he said.

  Silence.

  He continued. “Answer me. So you’re letting Alesha win? You throwing in the towel now.”

  “Reverse psych is not about to work on me.”

  He stood up and walked over to me. “You know I didn’t mean to hurt you. You know I never meant to make you question my love for you.”

  He pressed his forehead against mine and being so close to him melted my resistance. I hated that he smelled so good and looked so sweet. He’d cut his braids and had a fresh fade with waves, baggy blue jeans, and a plain white tee. I just wanted to rub my hands over his head and surf my fingers through his waves.

  I took a step back. Brooklyn grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him.

  Push him away.

  No, stay.

  “Stop running from me,” he said.

  “I’m not.” I fidgeted.

  Brooklyn continued. “I know I should have said something to you when Alesha first told me she was pregnant. But I didn’t know how to, and I didn’t want to lose you.”

  “You should’ve just told me the truth. You think I wanted to break up with you? You think I wanted to end things between us?! No! But I had to.”

  “We can go back and forth all day about what should and should not have happened. All I know is that I want you back. You have to give me a second chance.”

  “I don’t know if I can do that.” I dropped my gaze to the ground and then looked back up at him.

  “Well, then, you’re going to have to tell me how to handle this ’cause I’m not ready to let you go. And if that means I have to come here every day, all summer long, until you take me back, then that’s what I’ma have to do.”

  I shook my head. “So are those your plans for the summer, to be a stalker?”

  “I’d rather be your man, but, hey, I have to start somewhere.”

  I hated that he made me laugh.

  “There it goes.” He lifted my chin. “There it is. My Bricks. Come on, baby.” He brushed his lips against mine. “You gotta give me another chance.” He kissed me. “Don’t make me beg.”

  “I’m not trying to make you beg, but I’ve never been good at giving out second chances.”

  “Bricks, life itself is a chance. You can’t play it safe forever. Sometimes you gotta close your eyes and leap.”

  “I don’t know, Brooklyn.”

  “What don’t you know? You know that I love you. I know that you love me. That’s all that matters.”

  I looked into Brooklyn’s brown eyes, and I knew without a doubt that he loved me. “No matter how hard it is, you have to always tell me the truth,” I said.

  “I will.”

  “No more secrets.”

  “No more,” he agreed. “I love you, Bricks.”

  “I love you too, Brooklyn.” And at that moment, I closed my eyes and let my heart jump off the cliff.

  35

  Ride the Rhythm

  September

  I’d had the bomb summer. Chillin’ with my baby, my boo, and my crew. Today was the first day of school, my senior year. I couldn’t believe it. I never thought I’d ever go back to high school, let alone be a high school senior.

  Of course, the guidance counselor’s office was my first trip of the morning.

  “Hey, Mrs. Brown,” I said as I walked into her office and sat down in the chair next to her desk. “How are you? How was your summer?”

  Mrs. Brown’s smile was a mile wide. Her southern drawl was in full effect as she said, “Well looka here! Is this my girl, Yvette? You’d better get your hind parts up and give me a hug!”

  I stood up and Mrs. Brown welcomed me into her warm embrace. “Look at you! You’re glowing, beaming, and smiling. This is not even close to what you were doing when you walked in here last year this time.”

  I chuckled. “I know. I guess you were right. I needed to give this place a chance.”

  “And give yourself a chance. Remember when you asked me what would happen if you failed?” She smiled, looking me over.

  “And you asked me what happened if I succeeded.”

  “And look at you now.” She paused and her eyes continued to pleasantly drink me in. “Sit down. Fill me in on everything. I want to hear all about your summer and everything that going on.”

  I sat down and said, “I had a great summer. Went to the beach a hundred times, hung out with my friends, hung out with Kamari. Ms. Glo took me, Tasha, and Kamari to Myrtle Beach for a vacation. We also went to Ocean City, Maryland. She said that next summer we’ll go to the Bahamas or Jamaica. My eyes popped wide open. Who would’ve thought I’d ever be in the Bahamas or Jamaica? Or any place other than Newark. There was a time I ain’t never think I’d leave my county.”

  “And here you are,” Mrs. Brown said. “Out of the city, out of the county, out of the state.”

  “And next stop is out of the country,” I said.

  “That’s right!”

  “Yeah,” I nodded. “I’m feelin’ that.”

  “So I take it you like it here?” She chuckled.

  “Yeah, I do. I didn’t think I would, but now I feel like this is my home.”

  “Norfolk feels like home?”

  “Yes. Norfolk and, most of all, Ms. Glo’s. She and Tasha are like my family. I feel like they got my back, you know.”

  She nodded. “Yes, I know. That’s important, to feel like someone has your back and you’re not alone. It allows you to trust people again. You needed that.”

  “Yeah, I did. And I still do.”

  “How’s Kamari? Does she like it here?” Mrs. Brown asked.

  “Oh, God, yes! Kamari loves it here. She loves Ms. Glo and Ms. Glo loves her. Ms. Glo told me last night that she thinks she spoils Kamari too much. Do you know she’s already started shopping for Kamari’s birthday party? She’ll be three next month.”

  “Well, happy early birthday to Miss Kamari! I’m sure the party will be wonderful.”

  “Ms. Glo is a beautiful person,” I said.

  “Yes, she is, and I’m sure you’re thankful for her.”

  “I am.”

  “Do you think she spoils Kamari too much?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe. Yeah, I think so. But I guess that’s what grandmothers do. I
don’t really know. The one person I called grandmother was a nasty and miserable old skeezer.” I realized what I’d said to Mrs. Brown, so I spat out, “I didn’t mean that; I meant heifer. No, I meant, ho. No, lady. I meant a miserable old lady.”

  “I’ll bet that’s exactly what you mean.” Mrs. Brown smirked.

  I continued. “So, all that to say that I have no idea how a grandmother is supposed to act, but it seems like Ms. Glo might be on to something.”

  “Yeah, Yvette, I’d have to agree. Maybe Ms. Glo is on to something,” Mrs. Brown said. “Tell me, though, after living with Ms. Glo why do you think your grandmother might have been so mean?”

  “Nana was mean because it was Tuesday. Because the wind was blowing, and the leaves were on the ground.”

  “You really believe that?” Mrs. Brown asked.

  I sat quietly and thought about what Mrs. Brown was really asking me. It crossed my mind how mean and nasty I was when I first came here. “Well, maybe she’s never had anyone be nice to her. Anyone to show her how to be kind. Maybe she’s mean because she’s hurt.”

  Mrs. Brown smiled. “Yvette, yes! Now what about your mother? Have you heard anything about her or her whereabouts?”

  “No. And I guess next up is the milk carton or the newspaper in the Lost-and-Found Junkie section.”

  “Don’t call your mother names.”

  “The truth could never be a name, but, okay, Mrs. Brown, I won’t call her a junkie. Although that’s what she is. You know, I used to think about her all the time; now I don’t even care.”

  “You don’t care?” Mrs. Brown arched a brow.

  “Well, I care, but I try not to focus on her. I will never understand my mother and how she could just leave us any and everywhere and never look back. How could a mother do that to her children?”

  “Maybe, like your nana who may not have had anybody to be kind to her, perhaps your mother didn’t have anyone who wanted her around, so she took flight before she got hurt.”

  “By her kids? We loved her. I don’t think so. I think she was just chasing a high, and that was more important than we were.”

  “I think, in time, you will see that your mother loves you the best way that she can.”