If Wishing Made It So

by Lucy Finn

  ‘‘It’s here! It’s here! It’s here!’’ Euphoric, Hildy pulled the pretty amber glass bottle from under the front seat. She held it up for Mike to see.

  ‘‘That’s great, Hildy. I wish you’d tell me why finding it was a matter of life and death,’’ he said.

  She got quiet, then softly replied that one day soon she hoped she could. Then she asked him to please check under the hood to see if the brake lines were cut or if a bomb was planted there.

  Mike raised his eyebrows and gave her a puzzled look. ‘‘Why in the world would Jimmy the Bug have booby-trapped your car?’’ he asked quite reasonably.

  She stared at him, tongue-tied. She wanted to tell him all the reasons why the Mafia boss might want to blow her up or blow her away. But she couldn’t, since if she blurted out the truth and he didn’t believe her, he’d think she had delusions— a woman destined for the booby hatch, not for a major role in his life.

  On, the other hand, in the unlikely case he said, ‘‘Sure you found a genie in a bottle and Jimmy the Bug is ready to kill you for it,’’ he would soon be aware of the lies she had told and the trickery she had used since she first met him, not at all accidentally, on the beach.

  ‘‘Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive,’’ she thought. She opened her eyes very wide. She hoped to look very innocent. ‘‘Oh, Michael,’’ she exclaimed, trying for the ditzy blonde effect, ‘‘the awful man who took my little car was that Mafia person, wasn’t he? Maybe he wants to destroy the evidence or something. Please, Mike, I’m afraid to drive it unless you check it out.’’

  Mike had never known Hildy to be the least bit irrational. She didn’t even get upset by spiders or snakes. He chalked up her strange request to the tumultuous events of the past forty-eight hours. He humored her and opened the hood. He saw nothing whatsoever amiss. He pronounced it safe.

  She stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. ‘‘Oh, thank you soooo much. Now I’ll just go on back to the cottage and, and… . chill until I hear from you.’’ She attempted to flutter her eyelashes at him.

  ‘‘Do you have something in your eye?’’ he asked.

  ‘‘I’m fine, forget that. Anyway, I’ll be at the cottage in Ship Bottom. I want to be there when Mrs. Baier brings back my cats.’’

  ‘‘Okay, I’ve got a ton of things to take care of. I’ll call you later.’’ Mentally, Mike was already focusing on other things besides cats and cottages. He needed to recover stolen machinery and get his business going. He never gave a single thought to Kiki. He wasn’t thinking about his ex-girlfriend, his current girlfriend, or romance.

  No doubt some hours from now Mike’s body would encourage him to think of sex and the woman he wished to engage in it with, as any normal under-thirty male would. But for now, he kissed Hildy on the tip of her nose, gave her a pat on the fanny when she turned around to get in her car, and waved absentmindedly at her as she drove off alone … or at least he believed she was alone.

  Meanwhile Hildy had already begun an excited conversation with the bottle on the passenger seat.

  ‘‘Tony G.? Can you hear me in there? I can’t let you out yet, but I wanted you to know how terrific it is to see you again,’’ she called out, nearly giddy with relief.

  The voice coming from behind the amber glass said, ‘‘I wasn’t aware that you could actually see me. You appear to be looking out at traffic.’’

  Hildy frowned. She was in city traffic. She couldn’t possibly stare at the bottle right now. ‘‘Are you annoyed? Why in the world would you be mad at me? I was frantic with worry.’’

  ‘‘You were frantic with worry? I’m the one you left under the seat for nearly forty-eight hours. Since the last thing I saw was your boyfriend flaggingdown the car, I have a pretty good idea what you were doing all that time. You could have taken a break to let me out to stretch my legs. Some friend you are.’’

  ‘‘But I wasn’t— Don’t you know that Jimmy the Bug stole this car? He drove it all the way to Camden with you right there under the seat.’’ Hildy was incredulous.

  ‘‘Oh!’’ The genie’s surprise gave way to a snicker. ‘‘That explains it. I heard some muttering, cursing, and a lot of grunting. The dashboard got smacked hard a couple of times. I tried to close my ears. I thought maybe you were fooling around in the car.’’

  Hildy’s cheeks instantly turned cherry red. ‘‘How could you think such a thing!’’

  ‘‘I’ve lived for two thousand years. Nothing surprises me. There was this time in Greece … a woman who made her living in the oldest profession, she had this snake and she was famous for—’’

  ‘‘Stop! I don’t want to know! Listen, I’m going to pull off the road and let you out of the bottle. We have a lot to talk about.’’ And she did.

  Battered and bruised, his arm in a sling, Jake Truesdale sat behind his desk in his Atlantic City office. He was a very unhappy man. His partner had just walked in, and they too had a lot to talk about.

  ‘‘Are you still in pain?’’ Mike asked, seeing the frown on Jake’s face. ‘‘This should make you feel better. I recovered a dozen skid steers and two backhoes at the Sleep-E-Z along with a bulldozer, three skid steers, and, would you believe, a cherry picker down in Delaware.’’

  He reached over and grabbed a calculator off the desk. Jake continued to glower at him as he punched in some numbers. Then he turned the calculatoraround to show Jake the total. ‘‘That’s roughly a million dollars’ worth of equipment and at twenty percent, we stand to collect around two hundred thousand. Pretty good, huh?’’

  Jake shifted uncomfortably in his chair. His shoulder was killing him. His ankle felt like there was a red-hot iron poking it. But his injuries weren’t what was bothering him. ‘‘Yeah, pretty good. But we have a problem, which I hate to bring up, but you need to know.’’

  ‘‘What kind of a problem?’’ Mike asked, totally in the dark.

  ‘‘A blond, five foot four, female problem.’’

  ‘‘Hildy? Why in the world is she a problem? Everything is great with us. Better than great. I haven’t felt this good in years.’’

  ‘‘You’re not making this easy for me, Mike. Why don’t you stop running your mouth and let me get it out.’’

  Mike leaned back in his chair, wondering what in the world had his partner so riled up. ‘‘Sure, go ahead.’’

  ‘‘First off, I couldn’t buy that this girlfriend of yours just happened to be passing by the Sleep-E-Z Motor Lodge at the exact moment you were out in the road trying to get help.’’

  ‘‘It’s a weird coincidence, sure, but we always did have this special connection—’’

  ‘‘Mike, shut up. It wasn’t a coincidence. I talked to the cops who interrogated the two guys we beat up. They work for Jimmy the Bug, no surprise there. The big surprise was that those same two thugs were also caught on videotape trying to abduct two women in the bus docking area of Caesar’s a couple of days ago.

  ‘‘The cops confronted them with the tape. They said they were after one woman because she had stolen something really valuable from their boss. The other woman was her sister.’’

  ‘‘So what does this have to do with Hildy?’’

  ‘‘I’m coming to that. Mike, I saw the security tape. The woman they were trying to abduct was Hildy. I don’t know what her connection is to Jimmy the Bug, but there is one. I don’t know what she was doing at his office in that motel, but she sure as hell had to have been there. Something’s wrong, buddy, really wrong. She’s not who you think she is. I think you’ve got your dick caught between a rock and a hard place.’’

  Mike looked confused. ‘‘I’ve known Hildy since I was in kindergarten. I don’t understand this at all.’’

  ‘‘Well, how much have you seen her lately? You’ve been with Kiki for as long as I’ve known you.’’

  ‘‘Well, yeah, but still. Are you sure you’re talking about Hildy Caldwell?’’

  ‘‘Mike, I checked.
I double-checked. I wanted to be sure. This chick is into something with Jimmy the Bug up to her baby blue eyes. And you’re being played. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but whatever’s going on, it’s not kosher.’’

  Mike couldn’t get his mind around what Jake was saying. But yet, so many things that had happened involving Hildy didn’t quite add up. Then there were the odd things she had said about Jimmy the Bug, and her making him check for a bomb in her car. Jake had a point, but he knew Hildy. She was a straight arrow.

  ‘‘Look, Jake, I’ll go talk to her. I’ll get it straightened out. There’s got to be some simple explanation for all this. Maybe she’s working undercover for the FBI.’’

  ‘‘For your sake, I hope so. But I think that’s as likely as me being J. Edgar Hoover in blackface.’’

  Chapter 29

  Another serious conversation had taken place in the Volkswagen. It continued after Hildy reached Ship Bottom, after she and Tony G. entered the cottage.

  Hildy had filled the genie in about all that had happened since Mike flagged her down at the Sleep-E-Z Motor Lodge. She told him about Jimmy the Bug’s men being caught and about the motel catching fire. She told him Mike now had proof that Jimmy the Bug was behind this really huge construction equipment theft ring. She emphasized that she believed Jimmy the Bug was now on the run, and therefore, she said, she believed their troubles with the mobster were over.

  Tony G. disagreed. Finally, he gave up trying to convince her and said he supposed they’d find out one way or another. There was no sense arguing about it.

  Hildy grinned. She was sure she was right.

  They stopped talking while Hildy thoroughly checked the cottage for damage. Then she phoned the number Mrs. Baier had left. She wanted to thank her and to find out when Shelley and Keats would be coming home.

  Hildy was delighted to discover that Mrs. Baier was on the verge of leaving Princeton to return to Long Beach Island. Poor little Henry didn’t care for her sister’s Chihuahua, although Hildy’s cats didn’t seem to mind the ankle-biter at all.

  Heartened to hear that she’d soon be reunited with her cats, Hildy felt the time had come to tell the genie what she had decided to do. ‘‘Tony G., Antonius Eugenius, I have done a lot of thinking and I have something very important to discuss with you.’’

  Tony G. didn’t like the sound of this pronouncement. He hoped Hildy wasn’t going to use her third wish to turn Jimmy the Bug’s criminal empire into the largest cat rescue operation in the world, or something equally as difficult, like peace in the Middle East. ‘‘It sounds quite weighty and may be better put on the table after a meal. It’s only midafternoon. It’s not supper yet. Would you care for some tea and cucumber sandwiches?’’

  ‘‘No way!’’ Hildy burst out. ‘‘I haven’t had anything but coffee since very early this morning. I want a steak, medium rare, French fries, and a salad. Remember, dressing—make it Thousand Island—on the side.’’

  ‘‘Your wish is my command,’’ Tony G. said with just a hint of sarcasm. Hildy heard a snippet of something familiar being sung by Annie Lennox, a wisp of glitter fluttered by, and the genie pointed to the dining room. ‘‘Shall we eat?’’ he asked.

  The table was set and laden with all the food that Hildy requested. She sat. She dug in. She discovered she was really famished. The steak was excellent; she enjoyed her meal. The genie seemed to be quite pleased with his cuisine too. And although Hildy hadn’t requested wine, two glasses of a nice dark red Pinot Noir sat by their plates. In a way, she thought, she and the genie had something to celebrate.

  ‘‘I’d like to propose a toast,’’ she said and picked up her glass.

  Clearly surprised, Tony G. lifted his too. ‘‘What are we toasting?’’

  ‘‘To your future,’’ she said. ‘‘I’ve figured it all out.’’

  Hildy went on to explain that she had decided that she would never use her third wish. The punishment the sorcerer had inflicted on the genie must stop, and stop now. The way she saw it, if she never wished again, the genie could start to take control of his own destiny.

  ‘‘Do you mean you wish to employ me as your domestic—for the next sixty or so years?’’ he asked, not sounding particularly enthusiastic.

  Hildy choked on the wine she was sipping. ‘‘No! I want you to have your own life, doing that ‘job of work’ you spoke of. You will remain out of your bottle. Get your own residence—you can’t stay with me and Mike. It would be awkward, worse than awkward. Impossible! But those are details we can work out. What do you think of the principle?’’

  For once, Tony G. was at a loss for words. When he finally spoke, he said, ‘‘Thank you for the thought. But something may happen where you need to use your third wish. You have every right to do so. I won’t hold it against you. However, if until that time I can enjoy some freedom, be my own man again, I would be eternally grateful—and grateful for eternity that I had the chance.’’

  Tears came into Hildy’s eyes. ‘‘Tony G., I swear to you, I promise you, I give you my word, I will never use that wish. I understand the challenges life brings, its joys and its sorrows. I might not want to face the bad things, but using magic to avoid painful consequences or to get what I want isn’t right. In the end, it’s how each of us deals with our fate that determines who we are. You see?’’

  ‘‘I think that was a pretty speech, and I know you think you mean it—’’

  ‘‘I know I mean it,’’ Hildy interrupted. ‘‘That’s the end to this discussion. You know, I feel so much better. Now you can have a life, and my life can get back to normal. No more abracadabra.’’ She stood up, did a neck roll, shook out her beautifully razor-cut hair. Then she winked at Tony G. ‘‘But some of this has been fun, hasn’t it? Now let’s take what’s left of this genie-brewed wine into the sunporch, toss around some ideas about what you can do with your life, and wait for Mrs. Baier to bring back my cats.’’

  Hildy and Tony G. finished off their glasses of wine and newly filled glasses replaced the empty ones. Hildy had gotten a slight buzz and felt totally relaxed. She hadn’t realized how deeply stressed she had been until now, when the wine did its own kind of magic. It was making her sleepy too.

  ‘‘You know, I’ve been up since dawn. I think as soon as Mrs. Baier comes, I’ll take a short nap,’’ she announced. ‘‘I’m going to put on an old T-shirt and some shorts. As soon as that carrier arrives, Shelley, Keats, and I are hitting the sack.’’

  Hildy went into the other room, rummaged around in her closet, and changed. She came back into the sunporch with her feet bare and her shorts hidden by her oversized, favorite threadbare and faded Nittany Lions shirt. She felt almost like her old self again—a bit of a tipsy old self, she thought, and smiled.

  She looked at her wineglass. She noticed there was just a swallow left in the bottom. Why waste perfectly good wine? she thought. She picked it up to take the last swallow.

  Meanwhile Tony G. stood motionless, his thoughts far away, one of his huge hands on the sword at his side, the other holding his wineglass. Uncharacteristically he had a goofy smile on his face. He had gotten his own wish, at least for a while, and he couldn’t believe his luck.

  The doorbell rang.

  ‘‘My cats!’’ Hildy cried, and still holding the wineglass, she ran to the door. She flung it open.

  It wasn’t Mrs. Baier. Mike stood there on the doorstep.

  ‘‘Mike? I didn’t think it was you,’’ she cried.

  Mike looked at the wineglass in her hand. He smelled the alcohol on her breath. He glared at the smarmy Italian Count Arigento, as he knew him, standing large as life behind her in the room—in what looked like nightwear. ‘‘Evidently not. Your boyfriend is still wearing his bathrobe.’’ He spun around and stomped toward the Chevy Suburban he had just left.

  ‘‘Wait!’’ Hildy cried. ‘‘You’re wrong. It’s not what you think it is!’’

  Mike stopped at the driver’s door and turned. He loo
ked at her with eyes of pain. ‘‘No, Hildy. You’re not what I thought you were.’’ He got in and without looking back, drove away.

  Hildy stood there in shock. Her first frantic, desperate thought was that she had to stop Mike. She had to catch up with him and explain. But her second thought was more a feeling, of being terribly, utterly let down.

  She shut the door and walked back into the sunporch. She realized that sure, seeing Tony G. here looked bad, but Mike should have let her explain. If he loved her, he should have trusted her. If he loved her, he should have believed her. If he loved her, he should not have walked away.

  ‘‘I’ll go speak with him,’’ Tony G. offered. ‘‘I’ll give him the old razzle-dazzle. He’ll see what I really am.’’

  Hildy shook her head. ‘‘No. Let him go. He should know me better than that. If he loves me, he’ll come back. He’ll want to talk this out. He won’t leave things like this. If he doesn’t really love me, then it’s better I found out now. I can put the past behind me and finally move on.’’

  Tony G. didn’t really agree. He figured the guy acted like any normal guy would in the same situation.

  ‘‘Hey, Tony,’’ Hildy said in a quiet little voice as she started to walk out of the room. ‘‘Would you mind waiting for Mrs. Baier? I’m going to lie down and take a nap.’’

  The genie nodded and said he’d be glad to. He felt terrible about what had happened. He thought someone like Hildy, who had the softest heart of any human he had ever encountered, deserved better luck.

  Hildy went up the ladder to her sleeping loft. She really wasn’t tired anymore. She just didn’t want Tony G. to see her cry.

  Chapter 30

  Hildy was about to find out that her sister, always older and mostly wiser, had an entirely different view of the whole situation.