Right now, turning her down seemed like the ultimate in insanity.
Chapter Twenty
On Saturday morning the Spencer clan – minus Mandy and George – piled into their father’s truck. Abby sat up front next to him. Holly, Ellie and Sally fought for the two window seats behind them. They were on their way to the BJJ open to watch Doug fight, though not all of them were willing participants.
‘Tell me again why we have to go and watch this Brazilian jiggle?’ Ellie demanded from the back seat.
Sally sniggered. ‘It’s not a jiggle. It’s called jiu-jitsu and it’s a type of martial art.’
‘Okay, so why do we have to waste our Saturday watching some weird karate stuff?’
‘It’s not like karate,’ Sally pointed out. ‘It’s more like judo – you fight on the floor. They call it grappling. I’ve been reading about it and it sounds pretty cool because fighting on the ground levels things out, taking away the advantage of being bigger and stronger. You win by being cleverer and having a better technique instead of just having more muscle.’
‘So, it’s a weird form of judo. I still don’t see why we have to watch it.’
‘Because me, your father, Sally and Holly all want to see it,’ Abby replied, her patience beginning to slip.
‘I could have stayed home with Mandy.’
‘Mandy is spending the day with Roger and George. It’s important for them to have some family time together.’
‘Besides, Doug’s fighting,’ Holly piped up. ‘We have to support him ’cos he’s Abby’s boyfriend.’
Abby sighed. ‘No, Holly, he’s my boss and …’ She trailed off. Was there an and? ‘He’s my friend,’ she finished inadequately. As she’d already told him she couldn’t be his friend, what on earth was she doing, dragging her family to go and watch him?
‘That’s what I said. He’s a boy and he’s your friend, so he’s your boyfriend. Plus you’ve kissed him.’
‘Twice,’ Ellie supplied smugly. ‘You didn’t see the second one.’
Abby glanced at her father for support but his shoulders were shaking up and down with silent laughter. ‘Okay, just so you know, kissing someone doesn’t automatically make them your boyfriend. I kiss Roger and Dad, too. They’re not my boyfriends.’
‘Duh. You don’t kiss them on the lips and swallow their tongue.’
All three in the back started giggling and her father snorted. With a huff of frustration Abby dug into her handbag. ‘Who wants a sweet?’
She kept them quiet by feeding them boiled sweets for the rest of the journey.
The sports hall was large and echoey. The wooden floor was covered with blue mats and a series of blue plastic chairs lined two sides. Glamorous it wasn’t.
‘It’s like our school gym,’ Holly announced as they trailed in. ‘Only bigger.’
‘Where’s Doug?’ Ellie asked. ‘When is he fighting?’
‘I guess he’s … you know what, I don’t know.’ Abby scanned the chairs, about half of which were filled. ‘I’m hoping his friend, Luke, will have all the answers when we see him.’
‘Will he know how long we’re going to have to sit here?’ Ellie’s lip curled as she pointed to the chairs. ‘On those?’
‘The fights are between two and ten minutes long,’ Sally announced helpfully. ‘It depends how old you are. Of course Doug isn’t five, so his will be longer than two minutes and only the really good black belt people have ten minutes.’
‘He’s a brown belt,’ Abby remembered.
‘Then his fight is going to be five or six minutes, depending whether he’s a master or a senior.’
‘You mean we’ve come all the way here to watch a five minute fight?’ Ellie asked mutinously.
‘It could be six minutes,’ Sally added unhelpfully.
‘What a stupid waste of time.’
‘Oh dear, had enough already?’
Suddenly, standing in amongst them was Doug. A casually dressed, very male looking Doug in worn jeans and a white T-shirt that hinted at the muscles beneath it.
‘Ellie thinks it’s a long way to come to watch you fight for five minutes,’ Holly explained.
‘Or six if he’s not a senior,’ Sally reminded them all again.
‘Which I’m not, thank you.’ Doug gave them all a small smile. ‘I’m actually only just a master, though right now I feel like a veteran.’
‘I didn’t think there was a veteran class.’ Sally looked puzzled. ‘I only saw seniors.’
‘You’re right. I was trying to be funny.’ He glanced at their faces. ‘Trying being the key word.’ An awkward silence descended and Abby was about to dive straight into it when Doug surprised her by continuing. ‘Anyway, I hope to last through the first round at least, so you might have to watch for twelve minutes.’
‘Will you get into the final?’ Sally’s voice held all the enthusiasm Ellie’s lacked.
Abby glanced sideways at her sixteen-year-old sister, wondering at the reason behind her sudden interest in the martial arts.
Doug shook his head. ‘There are better guys than me here today; a few black belts. I’m hoping for a good run but I won’t make it to the final.’
‘Thank God,’ Ellie muttered.
Abby glanced at Doug who looked suitably bemused. ‘I think what Ellie meant to say,’ she clarified, ‘was that she’s really looking forward to watching you.’
Ellie opened her mouth, received a dig in the ribs from her father, and closed it again.
‘I’m sure she did,’ Doug replied dryly. ‘Though I hope you haven’t come here just to watch me.’
‘We’ve not seen BJJ live before,’ her father answered. ‘It’s a good opportunity and a rare day out for me and my girls.’
‘We could have gone to the zoo,’ Ellie grumbled. ‘That would have been a proper day out.’
Before Abby could apologise for her sister, Doug spoke again. Quite a feat for a man who didn’t usually manage more than two sentences in any five minute period. ‘How about I take you all out for a meal after? Do you like pizza?’
Ellie’s eyes lit up for the first time that day. ‘We all do.’
Abby cringed. ‘Doug, you don’t have to do that.’
‘I want to. That way if I fight like a muppet I’ve still got something to look forward to.’
‘If you fight like a muppet, we get to eat the pizza earlier.’ Ellie beamed her full on cheeky grin and they all burst out laughing. Even Doug, Abby noticed, the laughter looking unbelievably good on him, lighting up his face, deepening the blue of his eyes. It was like the rare burst of sun on a miserable wet day. She had a mad urge to capture it and never let it go.
Not long after Doug left to get ready, Luke and Geraldine arrived. Luke good-naturedly answered all the questions fired at him as they found their seats. By the time the fights had started even Ellie was taking an interest.
‘Doug’s up next.’
They followed Luke’s gaze and Abby’s heart gave a little jolt at the sight of Doug, dressed in a blue gi, walking towards the centre of the matting with his opponent, dressed in white.
‘At least we can easily tell who’s who,’ Holly announced.
Ellie shifted to the edge of her seat. ‘Do we get to boo the man in white?’
Luke chuckled. ‘I think it’s best if you cheer the man in blue.’
Suddenly the fight started.
Was it wrong of her to be more interested in the fleeting glimpses of Doug’s muscled chest than it was of the fight itself? In her defence it was pretty clear, from the number of times the referee indicated points for Doug, that he had this fight in the bag.
At the end of six minutes the referee raised Doug’s arm and they all cheered. Including Ellie.
And so it continued through several rounds, right up to the semi-final. By this stage they’d forgotten how uncomfortable the seats were and Ellie had forgotten that she didn’t want to watch.
‘Don’t get your hopes up,’ Luke warned. ‘The bug
ger …’ he winced. ‘Sorry, Doug’s done really well to get this far. He’s already beaten a guy he shouldn’t have.’
Six minutes later.
‘Bloody hell,’ Luke announced, this time uncaring of who was around him. ‘I never thought he had it in him. He’s going to be unbearable to train with from now on.’
Sadly the ultimate dream, the gold medal, wasn’t to be. Doug was beaten in the final, though judging from the expression on his face when he stood on the number two spot on the podium, silver was more than okay.
Doug ached everywhere. Even in parts of his anatomy he was sure he hadn’t used. As he changed back into his clothes he wondered if his body would ever feel the same again. Although he’d fought in competitions before they’d usually been within the club or between clubs. This was the first open he’d entered, done on a whim to test how good he’d become.
He tucked the silver medal into his holdall and allowed himself a smug smile. Seems he was pretty good.
The changing room door swung open and Luke sauntered in. ‘Looks like you got lucky today.’
‘Lucky?’
His mate burst into a grin. ‘Okay, what can I say. You exceeded my expectations. Well done, mate, though I reckon I deserve some of the glory.’
‘How’s that?’
‘Well, I did invite that cute little blonde of yours to watch. I’m sure she gave you extra incentive not to make a total arse of yourself. Probably gained you at least two rounds.’
There were so many words Doug knew he should pull Luke up on in that sentence. Abby wasn’t his and while she was definitely cute and blonde she’d hate to be described that way. He was too damn tired to bother though, plus he was acutely aware that overall Luke’s statement was frighteningly accurate.
They wandered back to find the others who clapped and cheered when they saw them, embarrassing the hell out of him. Luke, of course, bowed and took the applause as if he’d won the flipping thing. Still, Doug was grateful to his friend for hogging the attention. He felt weirdly emotional glancing round the cheery faces, especially when his eyes landed on Abby. Her face shone with something he couldn’t put his finger on, but whatever it was caused a lump to settle in his throat. It was hard to remember a time when anyone had taken this much interest in something he’d done.
Luke and Gerri – though he supposed she was still Geraldine to him and all other mortals – declined his half-hearted offer to take them out for pizza, too.
Which left him with the Spencer family.
‘Do you want to follow me?’ he asked Abby’s father, when they all finally trooped out. ‘I know a good place not far away.’
‘Sure.’ Doug watched Derek give his eldest daughter an unsubtle nudge. ‘Why don’t you go with Doug and keep him company?’
Abby flushed and glared at her father, making Doug feel like the gawky kid the cool girls didn’t want to be paired off with. ‘It’s okay, I’m used to my own company,’ he replied stiffly.
As Abby and her father proceeded to have a second staring contest Doug turned away and walked moodily towards his car.
When he reached it, he heard a little cough behind him and turned to find Abby looking uncomfortable.
‘You did—’
‘You don’t have to—’
She nodded her head. ‘Winners first.’
He exhaled sharply and angled the key fob at the car. ‘Don’t feel you have to ride with me, Abby. I know your father was trying to be kind, but please, go back to your family. I’ll see you there.’
In answer she opened the passenger door and slid inside.
‘My father wasn’t trying to be kind,’ she said a little later as he’d steered out of the car park. ‘He was trying to matchmake. He thinks the reason you keep pushing me away is because you’re trying to protect me from something and if I give you time you’ll eventually come to your senses and realise I’m pretty strong and I don’t need your protection.’
He opened his mouth to tell her he knew she was strong, but she spoke right over him.
‘What my father doesn’t know is that actually the problem is you don’t believe I’m right for you, and it doesn’t matter how long I wait, I’ll never be right.’
Doug’s hands stilled on the steering wheel. This wasn’t a conversation he was ready to have. Certainly not while he was driving to a restaurant to eat with her family. Probably not ever. Yet he didn’t want her thinking things that were untrue.
Turning into the restaurant car park he eased between a pair of white lines and cut the engine. ‘You’re exactly right for me,’ he told her quietly. ‘Which is why you also scare the life out of me.’
Her head spun, eyes wide with shock. ‘But—’
‘It’s me who’s not right for you,’ he interrupted. ‘And now isn’t the time to go into it.’
‘When then, Doug?’
He opened the door, pretending he hadn’t heard her. How could he answer the when, if he hadn’t determined the if part. If he had the balls to forget his fear of being incapable of love and boldly dive head first into a relationship with this incredibly sweet, but he suspected easily hurt, woman who’d blazed into his life four and a bit months ago.
Thankfully by the time he and Abby were shown to a table, the rest of the Spencer clan descended on them, and the chance for any further private conversation was over. He found himself sitting next to Ellie, which also meant he didn’t actually need to talk at all.
It gave him time to think. And as he let the chatter from the lively, smiling girls Abby was both big sister and mother to flow over him, he considered that maybe her father was right. He was trying to protect a woman who didn’t need his protection.
In the end it came down to two questions.
Could he live with himself if he tried to love, but ended up hurting her?
Was he living at all if he didn’t even try?
Chapter Twenty-One
The next few weeks stuttered by and every day it looked increasingly less likely that Doug would expand any further on the words he’d dangled in front of Abby outside the pizza restaurant. You’re exactly right for me. A heady sentence, had it not been followed by, which is why you also scare the life out of me. Didn’t a five foot three girl deserve to know why she scared the life out of a six foot something male who was pretty damn amazing at martial arts?
A shadow fell across her computer screen and she looked up into the bright blue eyes of that same six foot something male. He’d put his suit jacket on and tightened up the fancy tie he habitually loosened when he was working at his desk.
‘Abby, I need you to do me a favour, please.’
‘Well, as you pay me to do what you ask, you can pretty much guarantee I’ll do it. As long as it doesn’t involve breaking the law. Or anything I’m particularly squeamish of, like removing dead mice. Or live ones, for that matter.’
‘No rodents are involved.’ He gave her a tolerant smile. ‘Only a contract with a distributor. We’ve done business with them for years so it will only involve a bit of polite conversation to indicate how much we value them and a quick scan through the updated contract together. I’ve taken a look and it seems okay to me.’
‘Wouldn’t it indicate their value more if you were there in person, rather than sending your PA?’
‘I’ve already spoken to Stan and told him I can’t be there, but my right hand woman will be.’
‘Your right hand woman,’ she repeated. ‘Is that a promotion?’
He gave her another patient smile. ‘Sadly, no. It’s my way of trying to butter you up. Will you sort out Stan, please? Luke wants me at the gallery. Some big American cheese seems keen to show my paintings.’ He paused. ‘In his New York gallery.’
‘Hey, wow. That’s fantastic.’
His mask slipped a little. ‘It is, isn’t it?’
‘Of course I’ll sort Stan out.’ She hesitated. ‘He’s not another Teddy, is he?’
‘No, I promise, though he is another friend of my fath
er so you might want to treat him with kid gloves.’
Great. It was impossible to say no to Doug though, not when the excitement he was so desperately trying to hide was there in the rare sparkle of his eyes. ‘Okay, I’ll ferret out my kid gloves. You go and charm the socks off that gallery owner.’
She gave a start of surprise when he leant over to kiss her cheek. ‘Thank you.’
He left her with a tingling cheek and a free falling heart.
Stan White was a short, slender man who wore what was left of his hair in one of those ridiculous comb-overs that fooled nobody. He also had bad breath so Abby purposefully sat on the other side of the table to him as they went through the contract in Doug’s office. It was pretty standard, but she was concerned about the products listed.
‘Do you usually stock all the Crumbs range?’ She’d already checked on the previous contracts and as far as she could see they stocked everything.
‘We sure do. Been working with you guys for years. We sell everything.’
‘It’s just I can’t see the new savoury range listed, which I guess must be an oversight.’
‘What the blazes is going on here?’
Abby nearly jumped out of her seat as Charles Faulkner marched into the office, slamming the door behind him so loudly the whole room shook.
‘Well?’ he thundered, animosity positively dripping from his tongue. He had the look of a bully who’d caught a snivelling youngster rifling through his cookie jar.
Abby swallowed and tried to ignore the quick fire bounce of her heart against her ribs. ‘I’m taking Mr White through the contract.’
‘You’re what?’
‘I’m taking—’
‘I heard what you said. What I’m having trouble understanding is why you’re the one doing it.’
‘Doug is otherwise engaged at the moment.’
‘I don’t care if he’s entertaining the bloody Queen, secretarial staff have no place conducting contract discussions.’ He nodded over to Stan. ‘Go and wait in the reception a minute, would you, Stan? I’ll be back out to finish this.’
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