A Sea of Smoke_A Dark Romance

by Karen Lynn

  “I just want you to be careful with him. He might not be who you think he is.” Her frenzied reaction and the unexpected revelation that she was clueless to Logan’s actions took Jake off guard. Against his will, he found himself warming up to her, anxious to protect her even though she was so far away and out of his life.

  She crammed her hand to her mouth, afraid she would scream. “Are you saying Logan killed Ray?” For months she had forced herself to push the memory of that night out of her mind, prompted mainly by the fear that stress would be harmful to the baby. Now the nightmare was alive again.

  “I think so, Kris.” A strange numbness came over him.

  “Are you planning to go after him, Jake?”

  What will I do if he does?

  Consumed by helplessness, she tried to control her rapid breathing. Suddenly, she wanted to tell him about the baby, maybe that would help.

  Jake gulped, trying to find an answer. “I can't tell you. I don't know. That's not why I told you. I just don't want you to get hurt.”

  The jumbled thoughts and images churning through her head prevented his words from filtering in.

  That's why Logan said those things about Marty, why Marty asked if we had seen Ray. Did she know? But Logan said it was self-defense, didn't he? He never said who it was. And now Ray is dead!

  Snapping back, she began hyperventilating.

  “Oh my God, Jake! Maybe it was just a coincidence…”

  Logan might be home any minute; how should I act?

  “Don't tell him, whatever you do, please, Kris. For both of us.” Telling her had been an impulsive, regrettable action.

  Just another mistake in my long string of mistakes.

  It was amazing to her how he could still read her mind. “Okay, okay. I have to go.”

  Her voice was so hushed, he could hardly hear her.

  She hung up, allowing the screams strangling her to escape. With long, deep breaths, she collapsed on the bed, her hands protecting her stomach. The kicking inside of her was so violent now, she feared the baby would blast his way out any minute. There was no other way. She had to be smart, calm down and stay rational.

  LOGAN/KRISTEN

  Logan wasn't planning to get back with Gina, it just happened. As much as he wanted it to work with Kristen, it just wasn’t enough. He would never be satisfied as long as he had to hold back with her. He needed to be free, to do whatever fulfilled his sexual desires and fantasies, no holds barred. Gina liked it wild and rough, and he didn't have to worry about hurting her. The more pain, the more turned on she got. He never looked for her, she sought him out, constantly texting him erotic photos of herself, luring him with promises of sensual pleasure. Finally, he gave in.

  He was shocked but very aroused when he found her with another woman. They never spoke about who she was or where she came from, it was irrelevant. Gina was always full of surprises, and he just took it in stride. She kept pushing him further and further into dangerous territory. The more they experimented, the crazier he became, the more he demanded.

  When he left her apartment that afternoon, Gina's wrists and arms were black and blue, her throat and body bruised. The other woman lay on the bed, moaning—an awful, disturbing sound. He was too stoned to be concerned—he could barely think, let alone drive. It was amazing he made it home without crashing the car or getting stopped.

  Most of his energy had already been released on Gina and the other woman, but the actual events were indistinct. Since his nerves were still electrified, he was skeptical about touching Kristen. Once he was tempted, he didn't trust himself anymore.

  The lights were off; he could barely see her curled up on the couch when he entered the apartment. She wasn't acknowledging him.

  “What's wrong?” Bending over her, he planted a feeble kiss on her cheek, holding back.

  Stunned, she jolted upright. Although she had been preparing this confrontation in her mind all night, his sudden appearance spooked her.

  His eyes narrowed as he looked at her, trying to read her face. Something was wrong, there was fear in her eyes. Fear he hadn't seen for a long time. Sitting on the couch in front of her, he blocked her in. “Talk to me, Krissy. I know you. What happened?”

  She couldn't look at him.

  I am living with a murderer; one I swore to protect. But I never knew for sure he killed Ray. I didn’t even know he was dead then. It’s not like he actually told me any details.

  The frenzied thumping of her heart paralyzed her.

  Logan’s paranoia was explosive, his nose running profusely. He had no idea how much coke they'd done. In what seemed like a futile attempt, he repeatedly whisked his hand across his nostrils trying to keep them dry.

  “I'm not fooling around, Kristen. Tell me what's wrong with you!”

  “Where were you Logan? Another long meeting?”

  A powerful wave of dizziness hit Logan by surprise. He gripped the edge of the couch, sniffling and struggling to think straight. It was useless. He slid down to the floor, dropping his head onto her lap.

  “Logan! What's wrong with you?” As soon as she fully focused, she knew. “You're fucked up!” She wanted to throw him off of her. Instead, her fingers were in his hair as she fought the nervous fluttering in her stomach.

  “Aww, fuck…I really messed up this time, Krissy, I'm sorry.”

  His slurred speech terrified Kristen even more.

  She inched away from him, her panic stricken eyes shining in the dark. “What did you do?”

  Did you kill someone else?

  When he didn’t answer or look up, it hit her. “You were with her again, weren't you?” Now her fingers locked in his hair, pulling his head back without mercy.

  Logan’s eyes were filled with despair when he raised them to her. Wincing, he fought to disregard the pain as she continued yanking his hair. In a moment of weakness, it dawned on him: this time he might've inflicted serious injuries on that other woman. In desperation, he reached for Kristen. She released her grip, permitting him to crawl onto the couch, bury his face in her hair and cling to her. When he started sobbing, she was baffled.

  “I promise, I won't see her anymore...” His anguished cries were lost in her hair.

  She gaped at him, unsure if she should hold on and console him or give in to her urge to rip him to shreds. “I don't know what to do with you, Logan.”

  “Just please give me another chance, Krissy. I love you... I can't lose you! Sometimes I lose control... I can't help it.”

  The disappointment rendered her speechless. It was obvious he was back to doing tons of drugs. “Logan, you need to get some rest. Come on.” Taking his arm, she waited until he pulled himself up so she wouldn't have to exert too much energy. Still disoriented, he wobbled to his feet, letting her lead him to the bed. When they reached it, he held her arms, grunting as he pulled her down with him.

  “I'm not that big, Logan. Cut it out!” She couldn’t resist a chuckle.

  “Then stay with me.”

  Those magical eyes begged her. With a defeated sigh, she allowed herself to curl up next to him.

  “After the baby, when you're back to normal, I won't be so tempted, sweetie. Do you believe me?”

  She closed her eyes, a low groan escaping her lips. “We'll see, Logan. You have a lot to prove. I'm afraid something really bad is going to happen one day if you keep this up.”

  “That's why I need you to stay with me, baby girl, to help me. You're the only one who can. You’re my anchor.” He rubbed his hands along her stomach, sucking her neck at the same time. She flinched uncontrollably at his words. It’s ironic—once I felt the same way about Jake. A lifetime ago.

  “Go to sleep, Logan. I'm exhausted.” Rolling onto her side, she pushed her face into the pillow, wishing that she could just end her misery and die.

  SATURDAY

  JAKE

  It had been a long, difficult week for Jake. Talking to Kristen only served to increase his stress over the Logan situat
ion. He was baffled about his feelings for her, and the fear he harbored for her safety. Attempting to put it on the back burner for a while, he concentrated on the revelation about Tia. When she came to the club, he would end it with her, despite how much she tried to seduce him. Dealing with another dishonest woman was not part of his plan, and he knew it was sure to end in similar disaster. His creativity had suffered the entire week, and he was determined to fire it up again.

  It wasn't until almost midnight that she finally showed up. Unexpectedly, she was with Marty. Jake took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves for the assault.

  As soon as Tia touched his arm, it was impossible to quell the butterflies in his stomach. He had to keep reminding himself that it was strictly physical attraction, and there would never be any emotional or spiritual connection. She was the trouble he was striving to avoid. Despite his efforts, the spark of electricity was powerful.

  From the puzzled expression on Tia's face, he was certain she sensed his withdrawal. Marty watched with intent interest, lingering at the bar after Tia sprinted into the crowd with her beer.

  “How's it going, Jake?” She motioned toward Tia.

  Jake wasn't comfortable getting personal with her, especially when her cousin was involved. “It's not.”

  He made an effort to keep it short as he tried to remain emotionless. Since it was really busy and he had to keep moving back and forth between customers, it made it a little easier.

  Marty’s desire to talk kept her from straying too far. “Tia doesn't seem to feel that way.”

  Jake folded his arms across his chest in a defensive gesture, positive it was the only way to handle it. “Yeah, well that sucks for her, doesn't it? I had enough of her games.”

  Marty flinched, surprised by his sudden hostile attitude. Her conversation with Kristen ages ago about his temper entered her mind. She longed to confide in Ray.

  “Don't say I didn't warn you.” She scrutinized him, desperate to reveal what happened to Kristen the day Logan swooped down on her.

  “I didn't say that, Marty, did I?” They were cousins, she was Kristen's best friend, which made her an adversary in his head. And the scenario was very distressing.

  “Just saying.” Her voice softened.

  Jake’s eyes fixed on her with determination. “I found out Logan was here that night.”

  Marty gasped, her face drained of color. “How? Do you think he had something to do with it?”

  “I have my sources. And yeah, he had everything to do with it.” His hate-filled voice rose over the sudden boom of guitars.

  “Did you tell Kristen?” Her eyes instantly glazed with tears.

  He didn’t want to tell her but, an unexpected feeling of pity came over him. “Yeah. She called me.”

  Against his will, their conversation about Tia played in his head, frustrating him even more.

  “What are you going to do, Jake? Don't you think she's in danger?”

  “Hey, she made her choice.” He couldn’t help noticing the flicker of disapproval in her eyes.

  She thinks I’m a monster. I need to set her straight.

  “Did she tell you about her text dumping me?” He looked in her eyes, waiting for her reaction. She shook her head in confusion. “That's funny. I thought she told her best friend everything. It basically said she loves him and I should go fuck myself!”

  Some customers ordered drinks. He walked away quickly, hoping she hadn't glimpsed the anguish in his face.

  Marty covered her mouth in disbelief, pondering his words. It didn't ring true to her; she knew Kristen too well. “Something is weird about that, Jake.”

  Jake frowned. “No shit! I thought the same thing. She didn't even bother to talk to me about it. And she left all her crap at my place.”

  Recognition spread across her face. “Jake, I don't think she's the one who sent that text to you.”

  Jake did a double take, his eyebrows raised. “Well who the fuck sent it then? God? It came from her phone.”

  He glared at her, his eyes narrowed, unable to control his disdain.

  Marty chewed on her knuckles, wondering what to do. Kristen warned her not to tell him anything. But maybe he was right. She had abandoned them all, disappearing without consideration. She didn't have to leave with Logan. Gulping down her beer, she floated off into the crowd. Jake hesitantly glanced back, his eyes shadowed and helpless.

  LOGAN/KRISTEN

  Logan managed to keep his promise, and stayed close to Kristen all week. He ignored Gina's calls, not trusting himself to reject her. Instead, he surrendered to another one of his depressive periods, sleeping twelve-hour stretches at a time. When Nick called looking for him, he told Kristen to tell him he had the flu.

  His mood swings had a devastating effect, increasing her exhaustion. Logan found temporary relief in his drugs, but she refused to succumb to his bad influence, and chose to cope with endless crying bouts and fantasizing. When neither of those worked, her mind raced with colliding thoughts of Jake, and Logan's involvement in Ray's death. It haunted her to a point where every time Logan spoke to her or touched her, she flinched.

  It was Saturday night and Logan was napping. Wandering restlessly around the condo, she came upon his cell phone abandoned on the dresser. It beckoned to her. Glancing back to confirm he was still sound asleep, she headed to it. A strange calm embraced her as she entered his call log. He never kept a password on it. Maybe he was certain he could trust her. Or perhaps he thought she was too terrified to betray him. Or maybe just plain stupid. In the end, it didn’t matter since it made it easier for her to accomplish what she needed to. Her eyes darted from the bed to the phone as she zoomed through the texts, searching for Gina’s.

  Damn! He must have deleted them all, just like I did with Jake's.

  Then she saw a new voicemail.

  I shouldn't be doing this! The little voice in her head insisted. Like usual, she shut it out.

  A sick feeling struck her gut when she heard Gina's sultry voice saying how hard it was to be away from Logan. How much she missed and hungered for him.

  Kristen listened, swallowing the urge to puke all over the carpet. Not satisfied yet, she moved farther back, a few days earlier. This one wasn't as sweet and calm. Gina's voice sounded frantic as she screamed about a woman still in her bed, not moving. How she thought Logan had really, really hurt her this time.

  The phone fell from her trembling hands onto the carpet. For a second, she stared down at it, unable to bend over to pick it up.

  She had no idea how long Logan was behind her, how he got there without a sound. His hands gripped her shoulders. She sucked in a deep breath, holding it, her eyes crammed shut.

  “Find what you're looking for?” His breath on her neck sent a chill down her spine. His arm encircled her waist, dangerously close to her bulging stomach, locking her body to his.

  Moving her foot around, she felt the phone.

  “I thought we trusted each other, Krissy.”

  There was nothing she could say, no lie or excuse she could come up with. She was busted, and it was infuriating.

  All of a sudden, he released her.

  “Give me the phone.” His voice was frigid.

  She thought about running, but how far would she get in her condition? When she handed it to him, their eyes locked. The misery she found in his was confusing, but failed to still her frantic heartbeat.

  “Logan...”

  He stared at the phone for a minute. As soon as he pressed the play button, she panicked, flew to the bathroom and locked the door behind her.

  He is going to hurt me. I know it.

  She had to find something to defend herself.

  Logan slammed the phone down, following her.

  “Open the door, Kristen.”

  He sounded too calm as he jiggled the knob. She didn’t respond.

  “Do it, Kristen. Don't be stupid.”

  The door cracked open. Afraid to move, she stood stone-like, the scis
sors hidden in her hand.

  “Come on out, sweetie, let's talk.” Logan extended his hand in her direction.

  She squinted at his blurry face. All she saw was unbridled vengeance blazing in his eyes. Without a word, she took a step forward, thrashing the scissors at him with wild, vicious movements.

  It wasn't until he felt a sharp, burning in his palm that the glint of metal caught his eye.

  “Kristen, what the fuck are you doing?” he cried out, jerking his hand away, his eyes wide with shock. Without thinking, he lunged at her, grabbing her arm, yanking her roughly into his body before she could slice him again. The scissors clattered to the floor. He kicked his foot out without looking until it scratched along the tiles out of reach.

  “Let go of me! You bastard!” He still gripped one arm, the other had broken free. In a blind rage, she clawed his face.

  “Kristen, stop! I don't wanna hurt you!” After a struggle, he regained control of both arms. Staring down at her tear-soaked, bright red face, he listened to her harsh panting. “What's wrong with you? You wanna kill me? I just wanted to talk to you!”

  “You wanted to kill me! I'm just defending myself—and the baby!” Overpowered by his strength, her words slipped out between desperate gulps of air.

  Logan's face slipped into darkness. “That's what you think about me?” Pushing her back farther, his eyes devoured her, waiting for the redness and outrage to die down before he freed her arms. His hands gripped her face, holding steady. She couldn't speak.

  “I would never kill you! Are you kidding me?” His eyes held a hint of turmoil. They darted back and forth across her face.

  When his blood trickled onto her skin, she went limp.

  “I thought you would.”

  He shook his head in disbelief, his eyes misting with desire. Clamping her body to his, he rammed his mouth against hers. The sudden burning intensity terrified and thrilled her, making it impossible to think.

  Then the excruciating pain erupted in her stomach. Without warning, the room was spinning, then went black.