A Sea of Smoke_A Dark Romance

by Karen Lynn

  “Why don't you just move in with her? Make it easy for me.”

  “That's not gonna happen, you know she means nothing to me.”

  “And I do?”

  He tried to turn her around to face him, but she resisted. She couldn't let him witness any vulnerability.

  “You know you do, Krissy. I'm here... I said I was sorry.” He gently lifted her hair, kissing her neck.

  “Sorry doesn't make it right. Why didn't you come home at least? You know I need you here now.”

  “I got really wasted. I tried to—I couldn't get up.”

  She turned to look at him, searching his face for truth. “You're crazy, you know that? You're gonna get yourself killed.” The bluish circles under his bloodshot eyes, the dull skin and messed up hair—he looked like crap. It was apparent he was back in self-destruct mode. Yes, she believed him.

  “I won't do it again. I promise.” His eyes filled with sorrow.

  There were no words left to be said. She crammed her eyes shut.

  Maybe I can finally fall asleep and find some peace.

  Then she felt him tumbling out of bed, heard the sound of retching coming from the bathroom. This time, her aching body wouldn’t allow her to move, even if she was inclined to. A few minutes later he came back to the bed, his face ghostly white.

  She opened her eyes. “Are you okay?”

  He didn't answer. Collapsing onto the bed, he buried his head in his hands. Low sobs and violent spasms rocked his body. She couldn’t bear it and gripped his shoulders. “What the hell did you take last night, Logan?”

  “I don't know,” he moaned. “I'm dizzy as hell.”

  “Did you eat anything?”

  “I don't remember—not for a long time—I don't know.”

  “Lay down, I'll get you something. You need to drink water. You're probably dehydrated.”

  With her mind in turmoil, she watched him fall back on the bed, covering his face with his arms. A part of her, the one that had been hurt countless times, wanted him to suffer. To allow him to pass out choking on his own vomit. But the other part, the one that endured and survived personal tragedy, shared a strong love with him once, wouldn’t permit it.

  “Here, sit up.” She set the bowl of cereal and water on the night table and helped him up. It had been a long time since he'd been wasted like this. Examining his face again, she tried to determine if he was over-dramatizing. From his ghostlike appearance, profuse sweating and panting, she decided against it. This time he wasn't faking it.

  At first it was hard to overcome the incredible lust for revenge. Even more difficult to overlook all the pain he had caused and help him eat and drink water.

  Where were you all those lonely nights when I needed you?

  Then without warning or justification, the compassionate side, the one that always got her in trouble, won the battle.

  After a few minutes, he feebly pushed her hand away. “No more. That's good.” He gulped the rest of the water, then offered her a tiny smile before laying down again.

  An unexpected mixture of tranquility and sadness calmed her as she gazed down, listening to his tortured breathing.

  Once the baby is born, you will have to fend for yourself Logan. Especially if Alex is Jake’s son.

  Saying the baby’s name to herself as she touched her stomach gave her chills. There had been times during her pregnancy when she had to remind herself it wasn’t a dream. That her life would never be the same.

  Not anymore.

  One day, Logan, you’ll find that everything in your selfish world has turned to dust.

  JAKE

  Brooklyn. It was one of the hardest decisions he ever made. When they pulled up in front of Kristen’s house, he felt sick to his stomach. Glancing over at Heather, he thought about backing out. But she had taken time out of her busy schedule for this. It was too late to turn around.

  The sun was scorching, the humidity already headed for a record high, and it was only noon. He scanned the block. The pristine tree-lined street was quiet, most of the residents probably in school or at work. With a forced smile fixed on his face, he watched her fiddle with the lockbox.

  Maybe it won’t work. Then I’ll be off the hook.

  “We’re in! Now the alarm,” she exclaimed, her voice husky as she input the code to shut it off.

  That’s new. Kristen never mentioned an alarm.

  Jake squinted with renewed interest as he watched her. He hadn't told Heather the real reason for coming. She thought he was considering a rental for his mother and sister. Now, here he was, resorting to trickery.

  Looks like your devious ways rubbed off on me after all baby.

  He groaned at the thought, Heather didn’t notice.

  Fortunately, the electricity was still on. She flicked on the lights one by one. With each room illuminating into view, the memories of Kristen awakened. He couldn't stand it.

  “I'll be right back.” He disappeared into the master bedroom all the way in the back of the house. Sunlight flooded the room. He stood frozen, the huge bed, a sordid reminder of her lovemaking with Logan, sat empty and haunting in front of him. After locking the door, he jammed his hand under the heavy mattress.

  “Jake, come check out this kitchen. Your mother will love it!”

  He didn't respond for fear she'd follow his voice. With one hand holding the mattress up higher, he knelt down, peering under. He reached in, finally grabbing a bundle of money. Damn! He hadn't planned on it being so large, it wouldn't fit in his pocket. The clacking of her heels got louder.

  “Jake where are you?”

  “Hey, give me a minute, I'm in the bathroom,” he called out, frantically separating the bills into smaller packs, stuffing them in all of his pockets, and pulling the loose over-sized tee shirt over it. She was at the door, attempting to pull it open.

  “Are you hiding from me?” She giggled.

  Grimacing, he strode slowly to the door and unlocked it. She looked up at him, her eyes smoldering. “What were you doing?”

  “Nothing. It must've locked accidentally. Let's see that kitchen!” He attempted to move past her, but she stood firmly in the doorway. Face to face now, he realized what an extremely large, strong woman she was, at least six feet in her high heels. That made her just a few inches shorter than he was, something he wasn’t used to.

  “Not so fast, honey.” She smiled, her large hands framing his face, her long false eyelashes fluttering. “So what do I get for this?”

  “What do you want?” He faltered, surveying her long, dagger-like red nails fastened on his cheeks. He held his breath.

  “You will never guess!” She pinned him to the wall.

  “Hey, try me.” Wrong answer. He shuddered.

  After a dramatic pause. “I want a huge painting.”

  His eyes widened in surprise. “What?”

  “Well you are a famous artist, right? My girlfriend's birthday is coming up. I want to surprise her. I thought a gigantic nude of me would be really awesome.” Her eyes almost glowed as she watched his expression change. “You look surprised!”

  For a second Jake stood in amazement, his mouth agape. After he recovered, he suppressed a chuckle of relief. “Yeah... yeah, absolutely, like 18 x 24. I can do that, Heather, no problem!” A huge smile spread across his face.

  “Cool! She's gonna love it!” She clapped her hands several times. “Oh, let's look at the house!” She planted a big, wet kiss on his lips and spun around. “Oils? No charge, right?”

  “No charge! I'll even throw in one of her if you want.”

  “Hmm. Maybe another time.” She winked.

  He didn't hear her. The only thing in his mind was counting the money bugling in his pockets.

  CHAPTER 10

  FRIDAY, WEEK 10

  KRISTEN/LOGAN

  They were waiting in the doctor's office for Kristen's pre-natal appointment when a text came in from Jake. At first she didn't hear her phone beeping. She must've been nodding off,
something that seemed to be happening more frequently the past few weeks. With the baby at war with her insides late at night, sleep deprivation had become an unwelcome way of life, leaving her drained.

  Logan tapped her arm, startling her. “You going to answer your phone or what?” She looked at him with a dazed expression, then took it out of her pocket. He observed her through the corner of his eye, pretending to read a magazine.

  “I have to go to the bathroom.” Hoisting her huge frame off the couch, she grabbed her bag and exhaled. As she wobbled down the hallway, his eyes seared into her. The bathroom was occupied. Unable to resist, she checked the text from Jake while she waited.

  He'd picked up the money, it was a lot. He wanted to talk. She texted back about being happy he'd gotten it.

  A woman eventually emerged. Breathing a sigh of relief, Kristen caught the door before it locked behind her and rushed inside.

  Logan had been her constant shadow since his near overdose. This would be her only chance. Jake answered after one ring.

  “Jake, I can't talk long. I'm at the doctor’s. What happened?”

  “I got it! It's $25,000 Kristen! I don't even know where to keep it.”

  “Wow! Can't you put it in the bank, or get a safe?”

  “Yeah, but the bank might get suspicious. I guess I can say business is really booming.” He laughed. “Maybe I'll just do it a little at a time. But I need a safe for here.”

  “I'm happy you got it. No problems?”

  “Nope. Not that I know of.” He thought about Heather with fondness and amusement.

  A loud bang on the door, followed by several more insistent ones. Alarmed, she managed to catch the phone before it flew out of her hands onto the tiled floor. Time to go.

  “Who were you talking to?” Logan stood outside the restroom, a frown playing on his lips. He didn't blink.

  “Alicia.”

  He winced, turning away. “The nurse called you five minutes ago.” Anger swelled inside of him, blazing in his face. He couldn’t allow that stupid bitch to take over.

  “Let's go then.” Kristen avoided the subject, taking his hand. He jerked it away. “What's wrong with you?”

  His frown deepening, he followed her in silence to the examining room. “Why do I have to go in there?”

  She stopped dead in her tracks, her face flushed. “Because you are the father, aren't you?” Too late—she couldn't face him.

  “Really? Since when is that a fact?”

  “Not now, Logan.” They entered the room, the nurse behind them.

  “I still don't see why I'm here,” he muttered. Kristen glared at him, until the idea that the nurse might have heard them made her so embarrassed she dropped her eyes. With obvious reluctance, Logan perched on the edge of a seat, maneuvering his body to ensure his view was blocked.

  After the nurse took some notes and Kristen’s vitals, they were alone.

  “Leave then, Logan. Get out. Don't come back!” She sulked, her face burning. Where this latest bad attitude was coming from was another mystery. Unless he thought she was talking to Jake. Cautiously, she glanced at him, trying to read him. He stared at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of bitterness and sadness. Still no response. Disgusted, she grabbed a magazine and hid behind it.

  When the doctor entered, Logan mumbled something and slid out the door, leaving Kristen wide-eyed and fuming. The doctor greeted her, lifting her eyebrows quizzically.

  Twenty minutes later, Kristen returned to the waiting room, ready to leave. She searched and found him sprawled back on a chair, his eyes closed. When she approached, he popped up, his gaze meeting hers.

  “How'd it go?”

  “Why? Do you care?” She handed her paperwork to the clerk and made another appointment. When they walked into the warm afternoon sunlight he reached for her hand. Too tired to fight, she didn't reject him.

  “Let's get some lunch.” With a smile flickering across his face, he felt the tenseness oozing out of his body.

  * * *

  The small cafe overlooked the beach. The day was balmy and clear with the slight whisper of a warm breeze. Kristen watched dreamily as a seagull swooped onto the sand, then took flight again. They ordered, then sat in awkward silence, staring at each other, both with unanswered questions in their eyes. Finally she couldn't stand it anymore.

  “What was that tantrum about?” She didn't shift her eyes from his.

  “I don't know. Guess I'm getting cold feet.” The blunt, unfeeling response pretty much summed it up. He avoided her gaze.

  She stiffened, moving back in her chair. “What does that mean?”

  “Why are you always sneaking around talking on the phone?”

  “I wasn't sneaking around. If you hate Alicia, why should I talk in front of you?” She covered his hand with hers. He looked down at them briefly. When he brought his eyes up to hers, there was a hint of warmth in them.

  “Okay. Let's make up.” He grinned, that cute grin that lit up his face and was contagious.

  “If you promise to be good and keep smiling, I’ll think about it.” She returned the grin as his other hand squeezed hers tightly. “Everything is good, she said. I have another appointment next week and then if I don't go into labor, another one.” A sudden wave of fear passed over her. She paled.

  “Hey, don't freak out on me now. I need you.”

  Should I believe him? The innocent sincerity in his eyes, brought tears to her own. Not now, I have to stay focused and strong. “That's sweet, Logan. I'll try not to, but you have to help me and running out like that wasn't cool.”

  He pulled his hand away to rub his forehead, a troubled look flashing across his face. “I'm sorry. I just lost it.” After a pause, his pale blue eyes zoomed in on her. “Are you sure that was Alicia on the phone?” His hair fell across his face. Without moving, he continued to peek out from under it.

  “Yes,” She squinted at him hoping he bought it. Their food arrived. He nodded slowly. That was the last time he mentioned it, but something told her it wouldn’t stay that way for very long.

  JAKE

  Since he had nothing better to do, Jake ended up at the SoHo gallery for their Saturday night special event and party. Once the shock of being unemployed one minute and getting the money from Kristen the next, wore off, he'd been motivated to paint, and had two canvasses to bring over.

  Franky was already there and stared in awe at his work. “Damn man, you need to get fired more often!”

  Jake exhaled deeply, a sheepish smile lit up his face. “I don't know about that.”

  He couldn’t help thinking about how hard the first part of the week had been for him, with hardly any sleep, lots of drinking, negativity and no end in sight. If it wasn't for the money from Kristen, he'd probably still be huddled in a dark corner of the apartment. Now at least he had some stability.

  Magnetic alternative rock music vibrated through the room. People were rapidly streaming in and Jake was pumped. On his third glass of champagne, he couldn't stand still. His head was spinning, his body numb when he felt a light touch on his back.

  “Hey, Jake, right?” The woman's voice didn't register. He whirled around, his eyes squinting down on her face.

  The tall, attractive dark skinned woman smiled up at him. “Ruby. Kristen's friend.” She extended her hand eagerly and he shook it without hesitation. He felt the heat rising in his face. Embarrassment and possible disdain? Renewed memories? It had hardly been a pleasant experience when they met so long ago, although at that moment, it was hard to recall.

  “Yeah, right.” He grinned. “What are you doing here?” It was a stupid question, but all he could come up with. A slender Hispanic man walked up to them, a huge smile on his face. He handed one of the drinks to her.

  “Dominic this is Jake. He's Kristen's boyfriend.”

  Dominic shook his hand with obvious enthusiasm.

  “I don’t know if Kristen told you but we're both art aficionados. We've been dying to check this
place out for the longest. When I saw your name on the brochure tonight I couldn’t believe it, right Dom?” Before Dominic could open his mouth, she rushed on. “Then I remembered what Kristen said about you guys getting into the business.”

  Jake stood dumbfounded. She eyed him, taking a sip of her drink.

  The blurred memory of Ruby’s unusual reaction to Kristen’s involvement in their business venture seeped into Jake’s champagne-infused mind. Not sure if he should laugh or bolt, Jake latched onto the nearest waiter, grabbed a glass of champagne from his tray and downed it in one long gulp.

  “Where is Kristen anyway? I haven't heard from her in—damn, almost a year now!” Ruby frowned, a sudden look of astonishment on her face.

  Jake's eyes narrowed suspiciously. Is she playing me, or is she really in the dark? Good thing I’m buzzed.

  “She's in Florida last I heard.” He tried to be as matter-of-fact as he could, but feared his eyes would give him away. To avoid her, he looked into the distance.

  “Really? Why?” Ruby wasn't letting up. Her voice actually sounded shocked and concerned. He turned his attention back to her.

  “You probably should call her and find out. She still has the same number. I gotta go, but thanks for coming. Nice meeting you, Dominic.” He patted his arm, gave them a broad smile and ambled away, trying to maintain his balance.

  When Jake returned to his area, he found Franky accompanied by two men waiting to make offers on his latest painting. It didn’t take long before he had eight hundred dollars in his pocket. Even in his inebriated state of mind, he sensed a positive, energizing streak. In a matter of minutes, he forgot all about Ruby and her distressing inquisition about Kristen.

  “We are on a roll! I spoke to Henry. Here's his contact info. As soon as you send over some more samples of your work, we can get our shit in order. You're going to really love Miami!”

  Franky’s excitement should’ve been contagious, instead it startled Jake. Everything was happening so fast, but a sudden good vibe, told him the time couldn’t be better. “Yeah. I'm sure I will.”