Can't Buy Me Love

by Heather MacAllister

  He peeled the slice off his shirt and tossed the cheese in the trash. “Are you?”

  “You do realize it’s none of your business.”

  “Not necessarily. If you’re pregnant, I would advise my client to request a paternity test and address the issue in the pre-nup.”

  Her eyes did the blank thing. “You are despicable.”

  “Not yet, but I can be.” He grasped both her arms, hauled her to him and kissed her.

  Even he hadn’t expected the kiss.

  The shock of touching her held him still, and Alexis, as well, he reckoned. He recovered first. In a moment, she’d push him away, and tell him off. Maybe even slap his face, which he deserved. He’d feel better if she slapped his face.

  But this meant he had to work fast. Was the way he’d felt after the other kiss a fluke? Did they still have something that should be investigated?

  Dylan angled his head and nudged her lips, surprised when they parted. A wave of feeling washed over him, much more intense than what he’d experienced during this afternoon’s impulsive kiss. The kiss felt comfortable, right. The familiarity of her kiss was a turn-on for him. Who knew?

  He held her closer and fully explored her mouth and then he felt her soften, felt her arms creep around his neck. Felt her kiss him back.

  Past memories and present sensations merged. He couldn’t tell what was an echo of the passion they’d once shared and what was a brand-new passion born this weekend.

  One or both of them would regret this.

  Oh, Alexis, he thought. I was absolutely insane. We could have been together all this time.

  And they could be together now.

  Except that she was getting married. To someone else. To Vincent Cathardy.

  She sure wasn’t acting like it, though. She was supposed to push him away and act the affronted maiden, not encourage him. Not cling to him as though she never wanted to part. Not simulate the horizontal mambo with her tongue in his mouth.

  At that moment, Dylan knew he could have her back if he wanted. Instead of making him feel triumphant, he felt sick. What did he think he was doing? He had no right. No right to have her abandon her wedding because Dylan was having second thoughts about something that happened seven years ago. He didn’t know if this was an echo of their former love or love again.

  The timing, as usual, was all wrong.

  He pushed her away abruptly.

  She looked shell-shocked. “Dylan…” She held out her arms and he stepped out of reach.

  They stared at each other, and for once Alexis’s eyes were full of emotion. Desire for sure. Maybe something more. Something he wasn’t going to put a name to and wasn’t going to acknowledge.

  But as long as it was there, Dylan knew he wouldn’t be able to leave her alone. She would have to be the one to put a stop to this.

  He made a derisive sound. “You were supposed to slap me, not stick your tongue down my throat.”

  Her face froze.

  “Well? Go ahead. Slap my face.” He forced himself to continue deliberately. “It’s what Vincent’s fiancée should do.”

  Betrayal, then understanding crossed her face. He waited and there it was—contempt. At her expression, Dylan felt something inside, something that could have been wonderful fade away.

  “I don’t want to touch you,” she spat and ran from the room.

  She well and truly hated him now. As she should. There would be no more kisses and no more what-ifs.

  Problem solved.

  6

  OH, WAY TO GO, ALEXIS.

  How could she have kissed Dylan? Again! How stupid. Kissing anyone other than Vincent was disgraceful under the circumstances, but Dylan was his attorney, which meant it was especially dim-witted.

  Not good. Not good at all.

  And the look on his face. He’d despised her for being weak enough to respond to him. But not as much as she despised herself.

  She fled to Vincent’s room and was halfway there before she remembered the sandwich she’d left in the kitchen. Well, he didn’t eat the sandwiches anyway. Besides, she intended to make Vincent forget all about his snack while she forgot all about Dylan.

  She knocked on the door and kept knocking—she really should get her own key—until he opened the door.

  Pushing past him, she mouthed, “Hang up the phone.”

  Vincent shook his head and she drilled him with a look. “It’s eleven o’clock at night. We need to talk.”

  Evidently he knew she meant business because he watched her warily as he concluded his conversation. Alexis could tell he wasn’t happy about her tactics, but she figured he’d forgive her in a few minutes.

  He flipped the phone closed and put it on the bedside table. “Now, what’s so urgent?”

  “This.” Alexis literally flung herself at him.

  He was caught off guard and fell against the bed, his silk pajamas causing him to slide. She rolled off him and Vincent, with his hair mussed for the first time in Alexis’s memory, looked at her in shock. “I thought you said we needed to talk.”He smoothed his hair as he regained his seating on the bed.

  “I lied.” And she kissed him. Hard. Aggressively. She would erase Dylan’s kiss from her memory. She would.

  She pushed forward and he, gently this time, fell backward with Alexis splayed on top of him. Almost in self-defense, he rested his hands against her back.

  As she’d established earlier, Vincent could kiss. Now if he’d only kiss with more enthusiasm. Alexis ran her hands up and down his chest, hoping he’d move his hands against her back. Elsewhere, too, but her back would be a good beginning.

  “Alex—”

  She kissed him quiet and attempted to unbutton the buttons on her blouse. A little skin on skin should help. Trying to lever herself off his chest so she could work her hands between them, she caught him in the ribs with her elbow.

  He winced.

  “Sorry.” Why wasn’t he unbuttoning her blouse? Maybe because she hadn’t given him a chance. She bent over him hoping he’d finish the job.

  He rubbed a place beneath his ribs. No. He should be rubbing her. She leaned down and kissed the spot where her elbow had poked him, then worked her way back up to his mouth.

  “Al—”

  And why did he want to talk? Alexis didn’t want to talk. She wanted to get this over with. She untied the sash on his robe and it fell open. Vincent had chest hair. Gray chest hair.

  She closed her eyes and ran her fingers through it. Okay, so Vincent had gray chest hair. Big deal. She’d think of it as silver blond. Platinum blond. That was it. She trailed kisses down his chin and neck.

  “Alexis.” He gripped her hips.

  All right. She moaned to encourage him. Fake, of course, but she could fake interest. Unfortunately, Vincent could not.

  And after several moments, situated on top of him as she was, Alexis was aware of a crucial missing element. She pretended not to notice.

  “Oh, Vincent,” she said in a nice, breathy, nearly-overcome-with-feeling kind of voice. “I need a few minutes to get ready.” And perhaps he might get ready, too, she thought.

  She slithered down the bed to the floor, stood, and began unbuttoning her blouse as she made her way to the bathroom, just so he’d know what he was getting ready for.

  Then she shut the door, leaned against it and closed her eyes. This was beyond disaster. Was he…was he the “i” word? She couldn’t even complete it in her mind.

  “What am I going to do?” she murmured aloud.

  “Well, I can give you some tips, if you like.”

  Alexis yelped as her eyes flew open. There, sitting on the edge of the whirlpool bathtub, was Sunshine. She was examining Alexis’s negligee, which hung on the hook behind the door.

  “I didn’t know you were in here!” How embarrassing was this? “Why didn’t you say something?”

  “Looked like you were doing fine.”

  “I mean to let us—me—know you were in here!”
/>   Sunshine laughed. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

  “But we…we…” Alexis’s toes were curling in embarrassment.

  “Oh, honey—” she waved away Alexis’s stuttering “—it ain’t nothing I haven’t seen before.”

  Alexis squeaked. That must have been what Vincent had been trying to tell her, though not very hard she remembered, then drew her breath in sharply. What if he was one of those men who wanted to be watched? Oh ick, oh ick, oh ick.

  “And I gotta tell you, you’ve got a bigger problem than modesty.”

  “Right now, I can’t think of what it might be.” Alexis was blushing and she didn’t need to look in the mirror to confirm it.

  “Your hubby-to-be has a case of the limp willies.”

  This was not happening. She wasn’t here. She didn’t know where she was, but she certainly wasn’t in Colorado in Vincent’s hotel bathroom talking to the maid about…about…

  “But you’re in luck.”

  “Oh, do please tell me how.”

  “Older men are my speciality.” Sunshine dropped the hem of the naked negligee. “They love me. And I’m real good at encouraging them, if you know what I mean.”

  This was surreal. “I really don’t think we should be discussing this.”

  “Honey, you need to be discussing it with somebody.”

  True. Oh, so very true.

  Sunshine leaned forward. “We’re just a coupla girls talkin’ shop here.”

  Alexis cleared her throat. “About that—”

  “You were on the right path earlier just talking to him,” Sunshine went on. “Sometimes the thought of it kinda scares them, you know?”

  “You were here then? But…but where…” Alexis had a very horrible, ugly thought. “Does this room have cameras in it?” She yanked open the door. “I’m going out there to search the bedroom and if I find a camera, this hotel is toast.”

  And then Sunshine was in front of her blocking her way. But that was impossible. Sunshine was behind her. Then again, impossible was only an opinion because Sunshine was indeed shepherding Alexis back into the bathroom.

  “How did you do that?”

  “Isn’t that cool? I had to practice really hard. People think if you’re a ghost you can just do all that disappearing and reappearing and moving stuff around automatically. But you can’t! You have to learn that just like anything else. But then again, you have a whole lot of time to learn it.” Sunshine sighed. “It’s been over a hundred years. And I’m still not the best with the new stuff. I mean, everytime I manage to figure out how something works, something else is invented. Telephones without wires? Who knew? And don’t get me started on computers. We don’t see many of those here, except the ones for reservations and the one in the office, but Rosebud—you met her—dark hair with the glasses? Well, she likes to read and keep up with all this. Me, I like to stick with the tried and true. I’m pretty good with weather. I can make sure it’s not raining or anything for your wedding.” She smiled.

  Oh, goody. The maid was a babbling lunatic and Alexis was alone in the bathroom with her.

  If she screamed, would Vincent rescue her?

  She mentally tried out that little scenario. Vincent, lying in bed trying to, er, anyway, he hears a scream, struggles out of bed, takes the time to retie his robe, shuffle into his house slippers and call, “Alexis?”

  And in the meantime, Alexis would be strangled by a delusional blond hooker with sausage curls. She probably had a ribbon, or a tie or something hidden in her hands even now.

  Okay. Alexis was on her own. “It sounds like you’ve had an interesting time of it,” she said soothingly as she edged to the side, hoping Sunshine would move and she could dart to the door.

  “Oh, you don’t know the half of it.”

  Alexis didn’t know any of it, but had a feeling she was going to find out.

  “I’ll tell you the story sometime, but right now, you’ve got to get out there and prove to that man why you’re worth all that money.”

  Alexis opened and closed her mouth. Best not to argue. She nodded mutely. “I’ll go now.” She walked to the door and had her hand on the knob when Sunshine’s voice stopped her.

  “You don’t believe me, do you?”

  “I—”

  “How can you not believe me when I introduced you to everybody? We’ve never done that before.”

  Sunshine looked so hurt that Alexis couldn’t just walk out on her. “I believe that you believe you’re a ghost.”

  “Darn tootin’. You see, Miss Arlotta—you met her—wanted this fancy, schmancy chandelier to class up the place. It was a gas chandelier and took nine months to get here all the way from gay Paree. Well, them boys that were supposed to hook up the thing got kinda distracted, you know?”

  Alexis nodded. “Men haven’t changed much.” What was she saying? She shouldn’t encourage her.

  “They did something wrong and the gas leaked out. It was a Sunday, and we were always closed on Sundays. It was a good day. Our picnic day.” A wistful expression crossed her face. “Anyways we went to sleep that night and when we woke up, we were dead.”

  When they woke up, they were dead. Of course. “I read about the 1895 gas leak downstairs.” Sounded as if Sunshine had, as well.

  “It took us a while to figure what was going on, I’ll tell you. We’re trapped here. We can go up on the roof where we used to sit out so the men could see us, but we can’t leave the building. When this place was shut down, we took to hanging around the attic. First this was a boarding school, then a store, and then, about ten years ago, it was converted into a hotel. There’s the old part, the original house, where your room is and this new part they built. Anyway, that’s when Judge Hangen—he happened to be visiting Miss Arlotta that night—told us that we could redeem ourselves by helping couples with the physical expression of their love.”

  “How do you know when you’re redeemed?” The question just popped out.

  “Miss Arlotta and the Judge and a council decide. We each have to help ten couples. Miss Arlotta keeps track in the Bedpost Book. If we’re really good, we get a gold star. If we break one of the rules, we get a black mark. Too many black marks will erase all the good we’ve done.”

  “I see.”

  “And, I—” Sunshine placed both hands over her ample chest “—have been assigned to you and Vincent. I know I’ve already said this, but it is an honor.”

  Assigned? Alexis didn’t know about the ghost bit, but she did remember the fabulous romantic reputation of the Inn at Maiden Falls. The place was booked months in advance. “And all of you help others, too?”

  “Yes.” Sunshine bounced her curls.

  “Well…nobody ever says anything about ghosts.”

  Sunshine gave an unconcerned shrug. “People will believe what they want to. Besides, what are they going to do about it? Just ’cause they don’t think we’re ghosts doesn’t mean we aren’t.”

  Something was wrong because Sunshine was beginning to make sense. “You don’t look like a ghost.”

  “Oh. You mean like this?”

  As Alexis watched, Sunshine began to appear foggy. Alexis blinked, but Sunshine’s image didn’t clear.

  “Boo,” she said.

  “Boo? You’re kidding.”

  “I thought it would help.”

  Alexis almost laughed. “I’m sorry, I just don’t…”

  And then Alexis swore she could see the bathtub behind—through—Sunshine. She closed her eyes. “Don’t.” Sunshine must be using some kind of hallucinogenic gas. A little squirt and, presto, instant ghost.

  Alexis hoped there weren’t aftereffects.

  “You’re not mad, are you?”

  Alexis opened her eyes to find a very concerned—and solid—Sunshine. “Of course I’m not mad.”

  “Oh, whew. I can’t afford any more black marks. Not when I’m so close.”

  “Then you’d better quit sneaking up on me. And no hanging around when I d
on’t know you’re there.”

  Sunshine gave her a disgusted look. “I don’t, like, spy on you when you’re changing your clothes or nothing. What do you think I am?”

  “Is that a trick question?”

  Peals of laughter erupted from her. She looked so young and so happy and so full of life. She made Alexis smile. Yeah, older men would be attracted to her because she would make them feel young and happy.

  “Okay.” Alexis took a deep breath. She couldn’t believe she was going to do this. “So what do I do about Vincent? I mean, I want children. I never thought I wanted children all that much, and I know you think I’m getting lots of money, but I was making lots of money.” Alexis knew how Sunshine thought she was making that money, but just let it go. “So there’s no point in changing my life if Vincent can’t, well, you know.”

  “Well, that’s easy enough to figure out. Take a seat.” Sunshine closed the lid on the toilet and gestured for Alexis to sit on the tub. That meant Alexis was farther from the door, but at this point, she didn’t care. She sat on the edge of the tub.

  “What you do is cuddle up to him until he falls asleep. Then you take a bit of ribbon and tie a slipknot around his sugar stick. And in the morning, if the knot has slipped, then you know the flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak.”

  Vincent with a ribbon around his…”What if he wakes up?”

  Sunshine giggled. “Tell him he’s won first prize and take it from there.”

  Alexis gave an unwilling laugh, and then another one, not so unwilling. She clamped a hand over her mouth. The image of the powerful Vincent Cathardy with a ribbon—didn’t the florist mention lilac ribbon? No. Alexis simply must not think of it ever again.

  She gave one last giggling hiccup, then cleared her throat. “But seriously. If you have any hints in that direction, I’d love to hear them.”

  What followed was a frank and enlightening discussion. Alexis soaked it all up, too desperate to dwell on the fact that she was getting sexual tips from the maid.

  She stood. “Okay. I can do this.”

  “Of course you can!” Sunshine floated over to the naked negligee.

  No, she didn’t float. She was merely light on her feet.