As if he knew what I was feeling, he flicked his eyes over my shoulder, in the direction of the music and flashing lights, then pulled me into himself, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing a searing, determined kiss to my lips. He’d told me how he felt; now he was showing me, and it was exactly what I needed. The feelings Ethan had stirred on the dance floor slammed back into me with a vengeance, and I moaned into his mouth as his tongue found mine.
A booming laugh made my eyes fly open.
“So this is why you were so disinterested before, J. You’re into girls now?” Ben walked into the corridor, some vaguely familiar blonde girl by his side. “Your best friend’s girl, apparently.” His eyebrows rose in surprise as Josh and I took a small step away from each other.
This was bad for our cover story. Really bad. But I had no idea what to say or do. Something in me demanded I stick close to Josh though, and since my brain had checked out, I went with my instincts. I wrapped an arm around his waist, pressing my side to his.
“This isn’t what it looks like.” Josh’s voice was calm, even a little bored, his arm draping casually over my shoulders. It was a complete contrast to the tension in his muscles, which pressed up against me like stone.
“Really?” The blonde girl’s smile was ecstatic as she tossed her perfectly styled hair. “Because it looks like Eve here is cheating on Kid. With you.”
I recognized her. The reason I’d had trouble placing her at first was because I’d never seen her smile. The only time I’d seen her she was crying, sitting between Zara and Beth on the couch in my res hall.
“Anna?” Fantastic. Another ex to deal with. Wasn’t one enough for the night?
“Oh, good. You remember me.” She sneered, her face taking on a slightly manic quality. “You took my spot at Bradford, my friends, and my boyfriend, bitch. I want you to know it’s me who took him away from you this time. Kind of poetic, don’t you think?”
I frowned; she was clearly unhinged.
“Ooookay then.” Ben rocked back on his heels, looking between the three of us. “Nice to see you, Anna. Nice to meet you, Eve. Josh, call me if you get over your boobs stage. I’m out. Bye.” He turned and casually walked out of the corridor.
“Oh, this is gold!” Anna laughed heartily, waving goodbye as she sauntered away.
Josh cursed under his breath and ripped his phone out of his pocket, shooting off a quick text to Ethan. “Let’s go. Time for damage control.”
I followed him back out into the writhing, loud, craziness of the club, where we pushed past drunk people to get to Tyler at the bar. Josh leaned over and spoke quickly, pointing at me. Tyler’s face fell and he nodded, his mouth forming a tight line.
Without looking at me, Josh took off again, leaving me with Tyler.
“This is all my fault.” I groaned and leaned back against the bar, defeated.
“No, it’s not. Something like this was bound to happen eventually. Much as I’d like to, it’s impossible to control everything.” He gave me a lopsided smile, and amused by his own dig at himself, I returned it.
“We can’t control everything, but I should have at least been able to control myself.”
Tyler shrugged. “The Light is a powerful force. It influences our emotions more than we realize, pushing us to act in ways that are truer to what we’re actually feeling rather than ways that are . . . socially acceptable.”
I was pretty certain he was referring to the fact that many Vitals ended up in romantic relationships with two or three people at once—their Variant Bond members. But why was Tyler bringing up polyamory in the Variant population now? Was he trying to distract me? The topic had been on our list of Variant studies subjects to cover for some time, but we always seemed to skip it.
Before I could dwell on it further, I was distracted by Alec. He was at the opposite end of the bar, ordering.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” I ground out, my nails digging into my palms.
Tyler stood up straight, on the alert. “What?”
“Oh, nothing,” I answered in my best sarcastic voice. “Just yet another ex for me to have an overwhelming and confusing reaction to.”
My eyes glued to Dana as she stepped up behind Alec. She was in a black dress that revealed just the right amount of skin, somehow sophisticated and scandalous at the same time, and her dead-straight blonde hair accentuated the strong lines of her cheekbones. Alec hadn’t noticed her yet. She leisurely looked him up and down in a predatory way, her eyes lingering on his ass. Then she wrapped her annoyingly sexy body around his from behind, whispering something in his ear.
His shoulders tensed when her hands first made contact, but he threw his head back and laughed at whatever she said.
Tyler cursed, his hand closing around my forearm, as if I might take off at any second to gouge someone’s eyes out. I couldn’t blame him.
Alec’s eyes found mine, staring at me down the length of the bar. The crooked, mischievous smile slowly dropped from his face.
I turned away. I couldn’t look anymore. My relationship with Alec was the most confusing of all. He had been there for me during some of the toughest moments of my life, in a way that was hard to put into words. Yet he’d been so antagonistic—avoidant and downright hurtful at the same time. I was drawn to him, yet he made me want to throw things. At him.
I didn’t want to be attracted to someone openly hostile toward me.
Regardless, watching Dana’s hands crawl all over him made my gut clench. Flashes of what I’d seen in the limo on the night of the gala kept popping into my mind, unbidden and disturbingly detailed. I knew what her bare ass looked like, and I really didn’t want to. The thought that he could end up in that situation with her again tonight . . .
I faced Tyler, zeroing in on one particular button of his shirt as I tried to calm my breathing. One of my hands was resting on the bar, my fingers clenching and unclenching in time to my grinding teeth. Tyler’s grip had loosened, and he was now rubbing my arm soothingly.
“Try to breathe, Eve.” He lowered his voice. “Your Light is flowing like crazy.”
“Shit!” I slammed my fist down onto the bar, drawing a few looks. I was fighting the urge to march over to Alec and cause another scene, to drag Dana off him by the hair. My control had completely slipped.
“Just breathe, Eve,” Tyler soothed, taking a relaxed sip of his drink.
Once no one was looking in our direction anymore, he nudged me and led the way to a back corner of the VIP area. It was next to another smaller bar that was closed for the evening, and the lack of lighting provided some semblance of privacy.
I leaned on the abandoned bar as Tyler once again reminded me to breathe. Trying to get my Light flow back under control was, at least, a good distraction from what was happening at the main bar. I focused on my breathing, on the loud music, on the thumping base reverberating through my feet, and within a few minutes I had it contained again.
“Good.” Tyler smiled encouragingly, and I smiled back.
Now that one potential catastrophe had been averted, the other one refused to be ignored. I tried, I really did, but I couldn’t help myself. I turned to look.
They were gone.
My heart sank, a hint of panic sending adrenaline through my system. While I was having my Light overflow crisis, they’d left to . . . Ugh! I couldn’t think about it. I turned to Tyler, hoping he could do something to distract me so I wouldn’t go looking for him, but just then, Alec approached us through the crowd.
Relief flooded through me. He was here. He wasn’t with her. But I didn’t know how to express the clusterfuck of emotions that had slammed through me in the space of half an hour, so I switched to my default Alec setting—sarcastic and baiting.
“That was quick. I didn’t take you for a one-minute man.” I propped one hand on my hip and smirked at him in what I hoped was as cruel and detached a way as he so often smirked at me. “Or did you decide not to have slutty car sex tonight?�
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His eyes briefly widened. “You’re one to talk, precious. I’m not the one who’s made out with two separate people in one night, in a very public place.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and cocked an eyebrow, the scar becoming more prominent. He was in all black, as usual—black jeans and a black shirt that pulled tightly over the taut muscles in his arms.
“It’s not the same and you know it,” I spat.
“Guys.” Tyler tried to get between us. “Don’t start. We’ve got enough fires to put out for one—”
“Oh, don’t I know it!” Alec cut across him. “I just turned down a sure thing for . . .” He waved his arms up and down in my general direction. “I don’t even know what!”
Tyler sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I guess we’re doing this, then,” he muttered.
“Wait. Did you reject Dana?”
“Yes, OK?” He stepped closer, but I stood my ground, squaring my shoulders and looking up to meet his stormy eyes. I’d never seen the blue in them look so dark. “Yes. You want to know what happened? She came on to me, in no uncertain terms. I mean, we could have been . . . like, right now. But no. I said no to the only woman I’ve ever met who makes me feel normal. Because of you.”
He ground the last bit out between gritted teeth, punctuating his statement with a stab at my chest. He left the finger there, leaning in as he continued. “I looked down the bar and saw you, with that broken yet somehow furious look on your face, and all I wanted to do was come over and wipe it off. Is that what you want to hear, Evelyn? That I watch you so closely I feel like I can read your mind? You want to know how I haven’t gotten laid since Studygate because I can’t fucking stop thinking about it? You want to know that if it wasn’t for the fact that you gush Light out of every pore every time one of us touches you, I would be slamming you up against a wall and bruising your lips with mine? There, now you know!”
He finally dropped his hand and took a small step back. I hadn’t shrunk away from him during his tirade. I’d frozen, my eyes wide with shock, but I’d kept my gaze steady on his and my feet planted.
The tone in his voice and the tension coursing through his body were palpable. He was furious. But in a fucked-up, intense, uniquely Alec way, he’d told me he wanted me.
I blame what I did next on the haze of desire that coursed through my veins at hearing his words. They were violent and slightly disturbing—he’d spoken about slamming and bruising—but they made me think of the way we’d all but battled each other on the couch in Tyler’s study that night. Something had to be fucking wrong with me, but I wanted more of that. It made me feel alive.
I blinked, breaking the stare we were in, and my lips parted to release a shuddering breath. “If that’s all you’re worried about, I have a solution,” I rushed out, barely considering what I was saying.
Ethan had run his hands all over me on the dance floor, and Josh’s kiss had been exactly what I’d needed in that moment, but they’d both left me needing more. The Light was straining to strengthen my connection to each of them by any means necessary, and my body was providing the means, reacting to each touch, each look, each hint at deeper intimacy with a longing so fierce I had no idea how much of it was my own desire and how much could be attributed to our supernatural Bond.
Now, here was Alec, telling me in his own messed-up way that he desired me too. That it was only the Light transference that was holding him back. For the first time since we’d met, we seemed to want the same thing, and for once I had a solution.
I glanced at Tyler, then reached out to grasp his hand in mine. “Accidental transfer is not an issue for at least a few hours after I’ve expelled excess Light to Tyler. It would be perfectly safe for us to . . .” I trailed off, partly because in my rush to explain how we could get it on, I hadn’t properly considered how to phrase it, and partly because Alec’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“You can’t just . . .” Tyler stared at our joined hands, his brows creased. “I’m not . . . how can you . . .” He looked up at me, his mouth forming a tight line, his eyes turning hard. He wrenched his hand out of mine, making me tip to the side and grab on to the bar for balance.
“You know what? Screw you both.” He gave each of us a stern look and then stormed away, shoving Alec with his shoulder as he passed.
I turned to Alec, completely confused. “What the hell just happened?”
He looked as deflated as I felt, his shoulders drooping as he watched Tyler disappear into the crowd. But unlike me, he didn’t look confused.
“Fuck.” The curse was not an outburst of emotion. It sounded resigned and defeated. Instead of answering my question, he went back to the bar and ordered a drink, giving me his back.
I’d been dismissed and rejected, and I still had no idea why. I needed to get out of this club and away from all these people and all this noise. My best bet was probably to try to find Ethan or Josh, so I headed toward the main club area. Just as I reached the velvet rope, Alec appeared, halting me with one hand around my wrist.
I tried to twist out of his grip, but he rooted me to the spot with an intense look.
“Where are you going?” he demanded as his grip loosened.
“Anywhere but here.”
“Ethan and Josh took off a while ago, trying to fix the clusterfuck you three created tonight. They’re meeting us at the apartment. And Tyler is going to need some time to get over the fact that his Vital just made him feel used. So we’re stuck with each other, precious. I’m the only protector you have left tonight, and I’m your only way home.”
“Used?” That was the only thing he’d said I could fixate on. Just the suggestion I’d made Tyler feel bad was giving me an awful tightness in my chest.
“Don’t worry. It wasn’t just you. I fucked up just as badly. I should never have asked him to keep his distance for my . . . Never mind. The point is, every man has his limit. You trying to use him so it would be safe for us to fuck was his limit.”
He shoved my coat—which he must have collected at the bar—at me before taking the lead toward the exit. I followed, absentmindedly putting my coat on as my mind processed what he’d said.
As we emerged into the cold night, the full realization of what I’d done hit me.
“Fuck!” I pulled up short on the sidewalk, shoving my hands into my hair and ruining the perfectly sleek style.
Alec turned to look at me, his expression annoyed.
“Oh, I am such an asshole!” I whined. Alec wasn’t my first choice of confidant, but he was the only one there.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m an even bigger one. Let’s go before we freeze.” He nudged me forward with a firm hand on my lower back.
I crossed my arms, partly to ward off the cold and partly to stop myself from crying.
Tyler had been there for me from the beginning. Before he even knew I was his Vital, he’d been willing to help me with excess Light flow. He’d taught me about the Variant world, guided me through an incredibly confusing part of my life, and been a solid, constant presence I could always rely on. And I’d taken him for granted.
I didn’t even think about how he would feel when I reached for him to expel Light so I could fulfil a physical urge. Of course he felt used.
Despite my best efforts, as we stepped into the warm, brightly lit lobby, my tears spilled over. I turned my head away from Alec and tried to surreptitiously wipe the wetness from my cheeks, but I couldn’t stop my shoulders from shaking a little.
As the doors of the elevator closed, shutting us away from the prying eyes of the doorman, Alec surprised me by wrapping one big arm around my shoulders. He pulled me into himself and sighed heavily. The unexpected gesture of comfort made me cry even harder, and I leaned into him.
“It’s going to be OK, Evie. He’ll get over it. This is mostly my fault anyway.”
I had no idea what he meant by that, but before I had a chance to ask, the elevator doors were opening and he was steppi
ng away from me.
As he unlocked the front door of their apartment, another thought struck me.
“Fuck!” I yelled into the quiet hallway.
“God, you have a mouth on you tonight.” Alec looked back with a mixture of amusement and worry. “What now?”
“Dot!” If it wasn’t bad enough that I’d made Tyler feel like crap, I’d completely forgotten about Dot. “We just left her there. We have to go back! I am a terrible person.”
I made to march back toward the elevator, but Alec grabbed a fistful of the back of my coat.
“Dot came home half an hour ago with Kyo. They left around the time you were propositioning me at the bar.” He nudged me into the apartment as he spoke, punctuating the last sentence by closing and locking the door. “She’s in her room, but I wouldn’t go checking on her. I don’t know what you might walk in on.”
With that, he stalked off down the dark hallway and disappeared into his room.
I trudged to another of the rooms, my irritation with Alec returning. He’d been nice in the elevator—sweet even—and then he had to go and ruin it by making baiting comments about me propositioning him.
I was pissed off at him, but I went to bed more pissed off at myself than anyone else.
Fifteen
The next morning I was equally looking forward to and dreading seeing Tyler.
They’d come in about an hour after us, and I’d lain there in my giant bed and expensive sheets, straining to hear what they were saying in the hall. All I could make out was the low bass of Ethan’s voice, the whispered responses from Tyler.
Then the door handle rattled. I’d locked it, and after a heavy pause, two sets of footsteps moved away. I couldn’t stand to have Ethan and Josh hold me, comfort me, make me feel better when I knew Tyler was down the hall on his own, feeling like shit. Because I’d made him feel like shit. I rolled away from the door and stared at the beautiful city view, my silent tears soaking the pillowcase.
Vital Found (The Evelyn Maynard Trilogy Book 2) Page 17