I’d hardly slept all night.
The large windows were letting in the morning sun as I slowly walked into the living space, wringing my hands. Everyone was already up.
Ethan and Josh were in the kitchen making breakfast. Dot was curled up in an armchair by the windows, a mug of coffee in her hands, looking out over the city. Tyler had his head in his phone, eating a bowl of cereal at the dining table. Alec was nowhere to be seen. The only noise came from the kitchen and a news program playing softly on the TV.
Ethan spotted me first.
“Morning, babe,” he said in a much more muted tone than what I was used to. He came over, dropped a kiss on my head, grabbed a frying pan from a drawer near me, and got back to what he was doing.
I kept my eyes trained on the dining table. Tyler froze, his spoon halfway to his mouth, his thumb midscroll. For a beat he just stared at nothing, and then he lowered the spoon and the phone and took a few deep breaths, still refusing to look at me.
Indecision rooted me to the spot, my heart hammering in my chest. I had no idea how to fix this, how to make him understand I hadn’t meant to hurt him.
Josh must have been watching me as intently as I’d been watching Tyler, because he stepped up behind me and placed a firm hand on my shoulder. “Don’t overthink it,” he whispered before kissing me softly on the cheek and giving me a gentle push toward the dining table.
I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. “Ty . . .”
He shot out of the chair. “I have to go,” he declared in a flat voice, stuffing his phone into his pocket and walking toward the front door.
I panicked. I couldn’t let him run out again. I jumped into his path, hands held wide as if I were wrangling velociraptors, and yelled, “Stop!”
Amazingly, it worked. He huffed and put his hands on his hips but still wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Move, Evelyn,” he demanded in a quiet, cold voice.
“No,” I replied in a much shakier one. “We need to talk. Can we go into the other room, please?”
“I have nothing to say,” he told the lamp behind me, every muscle in his body tense. Despite his original statement, however, he had quite a bit to say. “I shouldn’t have waited this long to tell you I want you in the exact same way the others do. That’s on me. But even if I didn’t, even if you don’t feel attracted to me like that . . . I’m not going to be your supernatural contraceptive. I am not OK with that.”
My jaw dropped. I knew I’d hurt and insulted him, but I hadn’t expected him to tell me he was attracted to me. As fast as joy raced through me, it was snuffed out by anxiety. Just because he was attracted didn’t mean he wanted to act on it—not after I’d wounded him as much as I had. I needed him to forgive me, for things to be OK between us again; my skin crawled with the knowledge I’d hurt one of my Bond members.
“Fine, then just listen.” I dropped my arms to my sides tentatively. He still seemed ready to bolt at any moment.
He rolled his eyes. As controlled as he usually was, Tyler could be a little juvenile when he was hurt. But I really had no right to judge his reaction. “I don’t want to hear—”
“I’m sorry!” I cut over him loudly.
He crossed his arms, his brow pulling down stubbornly. He still wasn’t looking at me. His body language said he didn’t believe me, but considering his ability, he had to know I was telling the truth. I guess emotional pain can be a powerful distraction.
“Ty, just use your ability. Please. Tell me if I’m lying.”
His eyes started to dart left to right, his mind calculating.
I kept speaking, hoping I’d appealed to his rational side. “I’m sorry about the way I treated you last night, Tyler. Am I telling the truth?”
With a huff, he nodded, a quiet “yes” falling from his lips.
It was working! “I’m sorry I hurt you. Am I telling the truth?”
“Yes.” A tiny bit louder.
“Knowing I made you feel used or unappreciated has made me feel completely gutted. Am I telling the truth?”
“Yes.” But his eyes were still locked on a spot on the ground behind me.
“Tyler, I appreciate so much all you do for me. The lessons, the Light transfers, your protecting me, everything. I would be lost without you. Am I telling the truth?”
“Yes.” A slightly defeated tone this time, and he dropped his arms to his sides. I was getting through to him, but it wasn’t enough.
I didn’t want to go back to the way things were.
Tyler had built his defenses up so high I had a better chance of cracking Alec again. But he needed to know I wanted intimacy with him as much as I did with the others. I needed to bring this issue we’d been skirting around for months into the forefront. I tried not to think about everyone around us listening as I steeled myself for my next move.
“I care about you. Am I telling the truth?”
“Yes.”
“I enjoy your company. Am I telling the truth?”
“Yes.”
“I think you’re an amazing, intelligent, caring man. Am I telling the truth?”
“Yes.”
“I’m . . .” I faltered, incredibly nervous, but I had to get it all out. “I’m attracted to you. Am I telling the truth?”
Finally his head whipped up, and he looked at me, his gray eyes intense. “Yes.”
“I like you, Tyler, and not because of all the things that have forced us together. I like you for you. Am I telling the truth?”
“Yes.” A tiny twitch of his lips pulled them into a near smile.
“I want you. Am I—”
“Yes,” he cut across me before I could finish my question, taking two long strides forward. With determination, he cupped my face in his hands and pressed his lips to mine.
Finally, finally, Tyler kissed me! I’d wanted this since the day we realized we were connected, and now, at last, it was happening. He was knocking down that barrier between us. I didn’t even care that three other people were in the room watching us make out; I was so fucking happy to finally touch him how I really wanted to, to have him touch me.
I clasped my arms around his middle, leaving not even an inch of space between us. He deepened the kiss, leaving one hand cradling my cheek and pressing the other to the curve of my spine, making me arch my back. His tongue darted out, and I didn’t even hesitate, opening my mouth and embracing every level of deeper connection to him. He was an amazing kisser, his lips soft but firm on my mouth, his tongue finding a steady rhythm against mine.
For minutes, or maybe hours, Tyler kissed me as though he was in the desert and I was a waterfall. It was intoxicating. My Light flowed freely in and out of me; I didn’t have to worry about containing it with Tyler.
I was giving in to my desire in a way I couldn’t with the others, and it was consuming my mind and my body, making me completely forget where we were. I lifted my right leg slightly, wanting to wrap my body completely around his. The hand that had been holding my face flew down to grip the back of my thigh firmly. I moaned into his mouth and started thinking about where the nearest flat surface was. I wanted more; I needed to feel him on top of me. Maybe the floor would be fine. Marble tiles were totally comfortable.
But thinking about the floor made me remember where we were. Tyler must have realized the same thing, because we reluctantly broke apart.
I found myself staring directly into Tyler’s eyes, the gray almost swirling. I’d seen the amber in Ethan’s and the green in Josh’s just as alive plenty of times, but during the many instances Tyler had willingly taken my excess Light, I’d never been close enough to see it in him so clearly.
I was mesmerized, and he looked away first, his eyes darting around the room. He removed his hand from my thigh and took a measured step back, and I followed his lead. The chair by the window was empty. Dot had slipped out to give me some privacy with my Bond.
Ethan and Josh were standing shoulder to shoulder, staring at us with varying degrees of shock and exc
itement playing over their expressions. I started to feel a little awkward. I wasn’t ashamed of my attraction to Tyler, but I was worried about how this decidedly more physical development between us would make them feel.
By equal measure, I was also a little . . . excited. To know they’d been watching us sent a jolt of confusing arousal through me. I decided to examine it later, but before I could say anything, a fire erupted in the kitchen.
It wasn’t Ethan losing control of his ability; the bacon grease in the forgotten frying pan had ignited. Before I even had a chance to react, Josh made a small hand gesture, turning the knob controlling the burner to the off position. Ethan, glancing back almost absently, made a lazy swipe of his arm, and the fire went out.
A big smile crossed my face. Tyler stepped up behind me, wrapping his arms loosely around my front. I looked up to see him beaming at Ethan. Both of us had realized something the other two hadn’t caught on to yet. Their focus was on Tyler’s arms, so casually draped around me.
“Kid,” Tyler said, his voice excited. “Do you realize what you just did?”
Josh realized it before Ethan. He gasped and turned to face him, his finger pointing to Ethan and then to the stove. “Dude! You put the fire out.”
Ethan’s confused eyes flicked between us and Josh. Slowly, the crease between his eyebrows smoothed out, and his face broke into a big smile. “I put the fire out . . . I put the fire out!” he repeated, much louder, and laughed excitedly before jumping and punching the air.
Ethan’s excitement was infectious, and I found myself laughing with him, folding forward a little at the hips. But that resulted in my ass bumping back against Tyler, and the evidence of his arousal pressed into me for the briefest of moments before he took a step back, clearing his throat.
“This is great, Kid.” Tyler moved next to me. “We should practice—”
“Oh, I don’t think so!” Josh cut across him. “You don’t get to deflect from talking about that little show you two just put on.”
“Can’t we deflect for just a little longer?” I shot him a pleading look. I didn’t want to overanalyze it.
“No,” Josh and Ethan answered together, standing side by side again, presenting a united front. My shoulders slumped and I huffed.
“They’re right, Eve,” Tyler said, the ever-present voice of reason. “If Anna has anything to do about it, everyone will be gossiping about what she saw. We need to get on the same page, and we need to get ahead of it.”
He walked over to the dining table, sat down in the chair he’d abandoned earlier, and looked at us all expectantly. The three of us joined him, me dragging my feet, trying to delay this as long as I could.
I really wanted to bask in the fuzzy feeling that had settled around my shoulders now that I’d deepened my Bond with Tyler. Kissing him had been like a daydream come true. I didn’t want to ruin that warmth in my belly by talking about complicated things.
But my mind could never resist the opportunity to gain more knowledge, so I sat next to Tyler.
Ethan placed a plate full of waffles with berries and ice cream in front of me, and Tyler scooted his chair closer to mine, resting his arm on the back of it. He swiped my hair to the side and placed his gentle fingers on the nape of my neck. I smiled into my waffles, biting my bottom lip.
A simple touch was giving me butterflies. I shoved a huge bite of waffles into my mouth to cover up my embarrassing reaction. When Josh set a latte—made on a very expensive espresso machine they had in the kitchen—next to my plate, I finally looked up.
They were all watching me. Josh and Ethan were sipping on their own coffees across from us, and Tyler was just smiling, his eyes trained on my mouth.
I swallowed my food, and in the interest of not getting sidetracked by wondering what he was thinking while he looked at my mouth like that, I started the conversation I’d so wanted to avoid.
“What made you change your mind?” I asked, drawing Tyler’s focus away from my mouth to my eyes.
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I told you how I felt about you because I couldn’t stand the thought of you thinking I didn’t care. I knew you didn’t want me like that, but I needed you to understand that you matter to me more than you know. But what made you change your mind?”
“You thought I didn’t want you like that . . .” A sad look crossed his face.
“Have you given her any reason not to, Gabe?” Josh’s words were gentle, but they cut right to the crux of the matter.
“No, I suppose I haven’t.” Tyler sighed and half faced me in his chair, the hand at my neck beginning to stroke me softly. “Eve, I’ve always wanted you like that.”
I frowned and took another bite of the amazing waffles. I didn’t know how to respond; his behavior had told me otherwise for months.
“From the first day you walked into my office, I was attracted to you. But you were a student, and even with Bradford’s lax attitude in regard to some staff dating students, it felt like I would be crossing a line of propriety to even consider it. Then we learned you were Bonded to Ethan and Josh, and I knew I needed to put your safety and theirs above all else.”
His fingers kept up the gentle massage at my neck, and I kept eating my waffles, my eyes on my plate. I couldn’t make myself look at him.
“When I realized we were Bonded too, I could have cried from happiness, but I knew immediately how much more danger we were in—how powerful you really are. I resolved to keep our connection restrained so you could have time to learn to control your Light, so these two could learn to control their dangerous abilities.”
He gestured to Ethan and Josh. Ethan was leaning on his elbows, listening as intently as I was, and Josh was reclined in his chair, casually sipping his coffee, as if he’d heard this all before.
“The night of the gala”—at his mention of that night, my eyes whipped over to Tyler—“my resolve broke. You’d gotten closer to Ethan and Josh, and even me, in every other way, but that day, the physical connection stepped up a notch, and then you came down those stairs in that dress, and I just wanted to rip it off you.”
I swallowed, the sweet taste of my breakfast still on my tongue, but I’d already forgotten how good it was. At his words, all I could think about was tasting his mouth again.
“I made the decision that night to pursue you romantically as enthusiastically as the others, and I’d deal with the consequences of the increased levels of Light. But then Alec . . .”
I cringed, looked away. The memory of what had happened between us that night still made me sick to my stomach. “And then I ran away, and then Bradford Hills was invaded, and everything turned to shit,” I deadpanned.
He chuckled, nudging my chin with his free hand until I was looking at him again. “Yeah, things got more complicated. And once the truth about Alec was revealed . . .” He sighed. “He asked me to keep my distance. He begged me to keep things platonic between us until he could deal with some of his shit. That night after you ran away, you slept in the arms of Ethan and Josh while Alec pleaded with me for time. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, but I agreed.”
I stared at him, eyebrows raised in growing disbelief. “Maybe? Maybe that was the wrong thing?”
Un-fucking-believable. Hours after promising to be honest with me, he had vowed to keep a massive secret. With Alec of all people.
“Oh shit,” Josh whispered, sounding genuinely worried.
“Dude, even I know that was a bad move.” Ethan shook his head. I looked between him and Josh, my eyes narrowed. It was a small relief to see they both looked just as shocked as I was.
“Tyler, you promised me no more secrets, and then you went and made another one.” Just as quickly as the anger had risen, it dissipated, leaving me feeling deflated and hurt.
“Eve, I’m sorry.” He took my hands in his and looked into my eyes, his gaze brimming with sincerity. “It wasn’t my secret to tell. You don’t know all that Alec’s been through. You weren’
t around all those years to see how much he struggled with his ability, with losing you, with losing our parents. I was afraid I would lose him.”
I pulled away from Tyler and stood, teeth clenched. My hands tightened into fists at my sides. “So you couldn’t stand to lose him, but you could stand to never have me?” I ground out, tears blurring my vision.
“No!” Tyler stood too, his face determined. “Every second I stayed away from you, every moment I kept myself back, was torture, and I never intended to keep this distance forever. But I didn’t do it just for him.”
“Then why?” I hugged myself with one arm, wiping the tears away with quick, frustrated movements. I didn’t want to be crying, weak.
To his credit, Tyler kept explaining, pleading. Alec would have stormed out in a huff ages ago.
“It was the right thing to do for all of us.”
I wasn’t the only one who huffed at that. Ethan and Josh added their protests to mine, and we all started speaking over each other.
The sound of the front door slamming broke the cacophony, and we all turned to look at Alec. He came to a stop halfway between the door and the dining table, taking the scene in.
“So you told her?” he asked in a calm, clear voice, removing his coat and dropping it over the back of the couch. There was no anger or resentment; he said it as if he’d expected as much.
“Yes. I kissed her too. I can’t do this anymore, man.” As he spoke, Tyler moved to stand next to me, wrapping an arm over my shoulders.
And I forgave him. I still didn’t fully understand why he’d done it, but he’d apologized immediately, hadn’t run away from a difficult situation, and now had my back, standing by his decision to be honest and to be with me. His actions spoke louder than his words, and I couldn’t stay mad at him.
To my utter astonishment, Alec didn’t rage and yell, storm out and push us all away. He nodded and took a deep breath. “I should never have asked you to do it in the first place.”
He looked down and placed his hands on his hips, looking all kinds of awkward and apologetic.
Vital Found (The Evelyn Maynard Trilogy Book 2) Page 18