by Kat T. Masen
“How did you know that?”
“I study psychology.”
I take a deep breath, then swallow the lump inside my throat. “It’s Austin’s.”
“Austin? As in Millie’s Austin?”
“He’s not hers,” I fire back in annoyance.
Silence falls between us. Addy releases a heavy sigh but keeps her thoughts at bay.
“I feel you judging me.”
“I’m shocked,” she admits while shaking her head. “I would say there’s a curiosity more than judgment.”
I go ahead and explain exactly what happened that night so she knows the full story with the hope she can maybe give me some advice on how to handle tonight.
“I think you’ll need to prepare yourself for the outcome. Of course, Dad will be quiet, fester his anger, but let’s get honest here. It is you, so maybe you might be spared the storm.”
“I highly doubt it, but continue... ”
“Mom will be worried about your condition, yet also trying to deal with Dad at the same time. They’ll do that secret eye thing where they’re staring at each other but not saying a word.” Addy is so accurate, knowing our family too well. “Alexa will congratulate you because she’s too busy thinking about her social life to understand the enormity of the situation. As for Millie, she’ll be vocal and angry. She will think you did this on purpose, and chances are, Will’s going to be just as livid. That whole jealous alpha trait will come out because Austin will be part of our family.”
“But Austin isn’t part of our family. We’re not in a relationship,” I tell her adamantly. “We will co-parent. That’s it.”
“Yes, but you know Will, it means Austin is around you. You’re around Millie. Seven degrees of separation right there.”
I throw my pillow over my face. “I’m fucked. No matter how I look at it, Millie will be angry.”
“C’mon, Ava. She won’t stay angry forever.”
“Oh really? Once, she didn’t talk to me for two weeks straight because I borrowed her favorite cardigan and stained it.”
“The cream one that looked like something from a grandmother’s closet?” Addy cringes.
“So beside the point, Addy.”
“Yes, it is. But I’m trying to distract the part of your brain which is focusing on what you can’t change. You cannot change how our family will react, especially Millie.”
Addy jumps off the bed to walk toward the window. She pulls the drape aside to get a better glance of outside. “They’re here.”
Nausea consumes me, forcing my hands to clutch my stomach. Addy is right. I need to remind myself that I can’t change how they will react no matter what I say. Each one of my family members is stubborn at the best of times.
Addy moves toward the door but waits for me.
“Are you ready?”
I purse my lips, then inhale deeply with a nod.
We both head downstairs to the foyer, where Will, Millie, and Ashton are lingering. Mom has already found them, scooping Ashton into her arms while smothering him with kisses. He has grown so much since I saw him at Christmas, but nevertheless—still cute with his bronze hair and big blue eyes.
Millie catches a glimpse of me walking down the stairs. I pull my buttoned shirt out, conscious of my stomach. Her face lights up, and I’m quick to dig her cute denim jacket and sundress beneath it.
When I reach the bottom step, Millie reaches out her arms as I fall into her embrace, careful not to press my body against hers.
“I missed you, Ava,” she says, holding onto me. “We need a catch-up, just you and me.”
Forcing a smile, I pull away. “Sure, whenever you’re free. I’m here for a few days.”
“How about lunch at our favorite restaurant in Malibu tomorrow?”
“Sounds like a perfect plan.”
Millie tilts her head, watching me furtively but doesn’t say another word.
Ashton runs over to hug me, with Will following him. His small arms wrap around me, prompting me to lean down and hug him. I’m not great with kids, not like Millie.
“You look different,” Will points out, followed by an obligatory hug.
I pull back in paranoia. “I do?”
“Yeah, you do.”
Mom requests everyone to head to the dining room. Moments later, Dad walks through the doorway. Out of everyone in my family, I spend the most time with him. He flies to the East Coast often, which means his visits are regular.
Dad turns his head in my direction with a warm smile the second he lays his eyes on me. I stop in my tracks to take a moment to say hello.
“Ava,” he calls softly. “Always good to have you home.”
I throw my arms around him as he kisses the top of my head. The thing which terrifies me the most is losing him. I may be an adult and one who runs a successful business, but what if he doesn’t talk to me? Or worse yet, he disowns me. I watched what happened with Millie. Their relationship was strained for a while after her affair with Will was revealed.
Inside his embrace, I linger a bit longer and bask in his aftershave—its scent bringing back so many memories of my childhood. He senses my reluctance to let go, holding onto me tight. When I pull away, his smile is fixed, but worry comes over him.
“Is everything okay, Ava?”
“I’m hoping so,” I tell him firmly, trying not to break down. “But let’s eat dinner, please.”
He doesn’t press further as we make our way to the dining room.
As always, Mom has cooked up a storm. I choose to sit next to her, knowing I will need her to support me the moment it comes out. Addy sits on the other side of me, and after a few minutes, Alexa joins us with her head buried in her phone which Dad tells her to put away.
Millie sits across from me with Will by her side. Ashton demands to sit next to Dad.
Mom calls for a moment to say grace, then encourages us to all begin eating.
I choose to tell everyone after dinner, not wanting to ruin Mom’s delicious food. Thankfully, Ashton takes center stage most of the time. He is incredibly attached to Dad, and the feeling is mutual. I can’t help but watch how Dad softens when talking to Ashton. I wonder how he will feel when I have the baby. Living across the other side of the country will make it difficult, but I’m torn between staying in the city and moving back home.
Addy nudges my arm with her elbow, then subtly lowers her head while mumbling, “Do it now.”
Everyone has finished their meal, although the conversations are still continuing. I place my hands beneath the table, wringing them together while riddled with nerves. Then, Addy places her hand on mine and squeezes it tight. No matter what happens, at least I have her by my side. Not everyone will hate me.
“Um, I have some news to tell everyone.”
Everyone stops what they’re doing with all eyes focused on me. All but Ashton, his time is spent with two Hot Wheel cars running across the table.
With every single person waiting with bated breath for me to speak, the temperature in the room becomes increasingly hot. Beneath my clothes, sweat builds, and my heart races, making it difficult to breathe, let alone speak. Underneath the table, Addy squeezes my hand tight again.
“Good news, I hope?” Dad asks.
“Uh, it depends on which way you look at it,” I begin, then stall, my breaths becoming shallow. “I’m pregnant.”
I drop my head, refusing to look at anyone, and focus on the empty plate in front of me.
“Pregnant?” Millie chokes, her voice unsteady. “But you aren’t with anyone?”
My muscles tense, making it challenging to move. I’m unable to look Millie in the face, averting my gaze to Mom. As predicted, she draws her brows together with worry but remains silent, assuming she is trying to process this information.
Then, I quickly glance at Dad. He is staring blankly at the glass of wine in front of him.
“Congratulations,” Alexa blurts out, her tone upbeat. “I thought you looked different.”
Addy watches with a sympathetic gaze, also keeping quiet.
“Who is the father?” Dad finally speaks in a low, controlled yet angered tone.
“Um, this guy. It was one night, but I’ve known him forever, so it’s not like he’s a stranger and…”
I cut myself off before I make this even worse.
Mom clears her throat. “This is a surprise, but nonetheless, you have our support. How far along are you, honey?”
This is it, the final moment.
The straw to break the camel’s back.
“Four months…” I murmur, only to fall into a digestive silence.
Slowly, I inch my gaze toward Millie. In a matter of seconds, her confused expression morphs into a look of contempt.
The damage is done.
And the raging storm is about to make landfall.
Twelve
Ava
Across the dinner table, Millie bares her teeth with an unrelenting stare.
The shade of her skin turns pink, yet despite the bright shade—her eyes are stone cold. Suddenly, the chair she sits on screeches across the floor from the force of her standing up. Crossing her arms, she stands in defiance.
“Four months?” she barks unapologetically. “So, what? Early January, late December?”
I lower my eyes to the table again. “Around there.”
“New Year’s Eve?”
“Millie, please,” I beg quietly.
Millie points her finger, keeping her chin high and lips flat. “Don’t you dare ask me for sympathy! I can’t believe you would stoop that low. I know you’re jealous of my life, but I didn’t expect you to hurt me like that.”
“I didn’t do this on purpose!” I shout in return. “You don’t understand.”
“I understand very well. You can’t get a guy of your own, so what, you go for your sister's ex. What’s next? You want to make a move on my husband too?”
I bow my head, swallowing hard to fight back the tears.
A disturbing laugh escapes her. “Yeah, I guess the real Ava comes out.”
Millie throws her napkin on the table, storming out of the room. Will doesn’t look my way, his pinched mouth and tightness in his eyes make him appear hostile. Without a word, he leaves the table, to which I assume he is looking for Millie.
Mom places her hand on my back, rubbing it softly while I bury my face into my hands.
“Austin is the father?” she questions softly.
Unable to speak, I nod, but Mom’s gentle back rub starts to calm me down enough to breathe normally again.
“It’s nothing at all like she said. I just was so upset that night after Miami and then catching Olivier with another man. Austin walked into this bar I was drowning my sorrows in. He had a rough day, too, lost a kid in ER. We were hurting and drunk so much. Neither one of us remembers the night clearly, and here we are. I would never purposely hurt Millie.
“Of course, you wouldn’t, honey,” Mom soothes. “She’s upset, understandably. But, Ava, please, you need to calm down right now. This isn’t good for you or the baby. And nothing changes what I said earlier. We will support you no matter what.”
As I glance over at Dad, I sense his disappointment. He hasn’t said a word since asking me who the father is, nor has he made eye contact. When I turn away, guilty for causing him this pain, he excuses himself, then walks away in silence.
“He hates me,” I utter.
“Your father will never hate you. Let him process the news. His little girl just told him she’s pregnant, and the circumstances may not exactly have been what he envisioned for you.”
Mom has a point. I need to give him space even though a small part of me prayed for some miracle, hoping everyone would be happy with the news.
“How did Austin take the news?” Alexa asks, only realizing now the severity of the situation. “I always liked him. He was a nice guy.”
“Angry, upset, denial. How many more emotions can I describe?”
Mom places her hand on mine. “I’m sorry you felt you needed to go through this alone. I wish you’d told me earlier.”
Addy offers to clear the table and wash up, to give Mom and me some alone time. When Alexa doesn’t get the hint, Addy raises her voice at Alexa to get off her ass. Addy encourages Ashton to join them, and he happily does so, too little to understand what just happened.
When the two of us are alone, I let it all go.
“Honestly, Mom. I don’t know who I am anymore. The last few months have been this blur, and I don’t even know how I got here.”
“One day at a time, that’s all you should worry about now,” Mom assures me. Her concern for my well-being is not lost on me. I should have told her earlier rather than go through this alone.
“Austin wanted to be here, but I thought it was best to keep him out of this.”
“We would love to see him again when you’re both ready.”
“How am I going to do this, Mom?” I sputter, momentarily beyond words. “Be a single mother? Austin wants to help, and I know he’s going to be a great dad, but this is for a lifetime.”
“You will do it because you have no choice. No matter what I say, it can’t prepare you for motherhood, but just know we’re here to help.”
I fall into her embrace at the same time Addy comes back in and tells me Millie is leaving.
The slam of the front door startles us. I push my chair out, then run to the front to hear the engine start. Mom joins me when Will walks back in, unable to look me in the face.
“I think it’s best we leave, Charlie.”
“I understand,” Mom responds accordingly. “Please, call me tonight. I’d like to talk to Amelia.”
As Will turns around to leave, I call his name.
“You have to believe me when I say this wasn’t done on purpose.”
He stops in his tracks, his head fallen and back still facing me.
“I believe you, Ava,” he answers coldly. “But the damage to my family is done. Now, I need to go home and console a very broken wife.”
I clutch my stomach as he walks away, the sick feeling causing me to dry heave. Mom notices my body language, suggesting I sit down and drink something.
“Mom, I just want to be alone right now.”
“Take your time, Ava.” She runs her finger along my cheek. “Go rest, and I’ll check on you later tonight.”
Staring at the ceiling, I try to clear my thoughts, but all they do is run rampant. Millie’s face haunts me, the pure anger raging through her when she figured out the truth.
With my phone beside me, I contemplate texting her but decide against it. Instead, I hop off my bed and walk toward my father’s study.
I knock on the door, yet he doesn’t say a word. I draw in a deep breath, then turn the knob to open the door to let myself in.
Inside, the room is dark aside from the small desk lamp. Surprisingly, there is no drink in front of him, just a man looking solemn as he stares blankly at his desk. I move toward his shelf and pour his favorite scotch into a glass, the exact portion he always drinks. Then, I place it in front of him.
“I know you’re angry, Dad… ” I begin with, then continue, “… but please know I’m just as angry with myself. This isn’t how I envisioned my life to turn out. I made this stupid decision because I let my emotions take control. Me, someone who always thinks with my head and not my goddamn heart.”
My shoulders slump as a deep sigh escapes me. “I had all these hopes and dreams to make something of myself, and in just a heartbeat, it’s been taken away from me.”
I bow my head, to be distracted by the movement of Dad taking a sip of his drink.
“Having a baby doesn’t stop you from achieving, Ava. Of course, there will be challenges, but you don’t stop dreaming. If anything, you dream bigger.”
“I screwed up, Dad,” I croak, my emotions turning raw. “I’ve hurt Millie so much.”
Across from me, Dad presses his lips into a slight gr
imace. Much like Mom, I assume he is torn between Millie and me.
“This isn’t ideal, Ava. But now, you pull your shoulders back and gain the confidence to be the best mother you can be.”
“I’m so sorry, Dad.”
“Come here.”
I fall into Dad’s embrace, clutching onto his shirt, allowing myself to sob.
“Fuck the Universe. I don’t even know where to begin rebuilding my life and the relationships I’ve destroyed.”
“This is why you have family, why you have a team.” He pulls away but keeps me within reach. “Firstly, you sit down with Eric to put together a plan of how you will announce this. This will change nothing in your brand, but you do need to start thinking about expanding in areas that don’t require you to be young, fit, and pressured. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes, I need to be smart with my next moves,” I mutter, too tired to even think about anything but sleep right now. “Let the funnels of income derive from sources which can effectively push to the market without the connection of my body.”
I pull away to ask him a serious question. “Are you upset Austin is the father?”
He sits back down, then takes a long sip of his drink.
“It could have been worse. How is he, anyway?”
“Second-year resident. He’s busy, of course.”
“I think it’s only right we have dinner with him soon. He is now a part of our family.”
I nod, taken aback to hear this from my father.
“Yes, he is. But we’re not together, Dad.” I tug on the bottom of my shirt, fumbling on my thoughts. “Do you think Millie will forgive me?”
“Give her time. She’s your sister. This is complicated, but she will never stop loving you.”
“I guess this is like the whole Uncle Julian and Aunt Adriana saga,” I dare to raise, cautiously glancing at him.
Dad shakes his head. “Oh, sweetheart. That was much worse.”
“But everyone eventually reconciled and moved on?”
“Sometimes, Ava, there is no choice. Unfortunately, this is the hand we are dealt, and nothing we say nor do will change how someone feels about another person.”