by Zach Jenkins
He’s straight.
I was already making plans to tell Echo I could watch the bakery while she went out with him, if she wanted, when Harley surprised us all by looking directly into my eyes and saying, “Let’s get married.”
Pierre gasped again. “What the hell’s going on here?” he asked. “Have all the men in this town lost their minds?”
Four
Harley
Once I’d hatched my stupid plan to try and marry Icarus, nothing could have stopped me from following through. I hadn’t even thought far enough ahead to imagine what his response might be.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not marrying you, Harley,” he said, shooting down my offer.
The bakery went silent, and I swear that everyone leaned our direction to make sure they didn’t miss my reaction.
My brain refused to process what he’d said, though. I wasn’t good at dealing with rejection.
Besides, a patch of icing on his left cheek that just barely stretched to his lips caught my attention, and made it very hard to breathe.
I didn’t bother asking myself what was wrong with me.
There was nothing wrong with me and this sudden obsession with a patch of icing-covered skin on another man.
There was nothing wrong with a sudden urge to wipe Icarus’ face with my thumb, and then suck the icing off my finger.
Or maybe he’d beat me to it.
The image of him grabbing my wrist, and pulling my finger between his lips was too much. I could practically feel the firm suck between his soft, wet lips…
I cleared my throat to get control of myself.
“I’m not that horrible, am I?” I sputtered. “Plenty of people have asked to marry me. I can’t be that bad, can I?”
Icarus placed his hands on my shoulders, and stared into my eyes with his soft green ones. I wanted to hold onto my frustration, but it just melted away.
“Listen, don’t be offended, but I just can’t let myself marry you for your money. I’m not fake marriage material. I guess I’m just a stupid hopeless romantic, but I want it to mean something when I walk down the aisle…assuming I ever find someone who can love me like that.”
I grabbed his wrists to try and take control of the situation. “Listen, it’ll just be for a few weeks. Let me do this for you. You’re a good guy, and I’d be happy to know the money was doing something good. Then, once we’re divorced, you’ll have plenty of time to find your dream man for a real happily ever after.”
He didn’t pull away, but he didn’t agree with me either. “That’s sweet, but it’d feel wrong.”
“You can marry me,” Echo said with a grunt.
I smiled weakly at Echo while still watching Icarus out of the corner of my eye. “That wouldn’t work at all. It wouldn’t piss my parents off if I married someone as wonderful as you. Second, the plan is for us to get divorced right away. I don’t think your brother would have any trouble kicking me to the curb.”
I laughed along with the room even as I wondered if it would really be so bad to live with Icarus long-term. Having a roommate would probably keep me from continuing to make some of the stupid mistakes I’d made with my life.
“Fine,” I said, forcing myself to release Icarus’ wrists and sit on an empty stool. “I’ll have to think of another way to help you out. I need to eat some cherry pie to get inspired.”
“Sure,” Echo said. “The hot straight guy walks in here and asks my brother to marry him, and all he wants from me is my pie. Do you like it heated up?”
Not wanting to bring down the mood of the room with the funk that had settled on me, I winked. “You know I do.”
“I hate you,” Echo said to Icarus as she turned to prepare my order.
I looked around at the other guys along the counter. I didn’t recognize any of them. “You guys all from out of town?”
“Nope,” one of the guys with the thick hipster beards said. “We’re all locals here.”
“Huh. I guess I just don’t get to this side of town very often.”
“Well, if you ever need flowers, we’re your guys. Pierre works with me at my flower shop around the corner. Shane over there is your guy if you ever need help with skiing. Well, once his leg heals. Griffin is the coffee man. You know Echo and Icarus. What do you do?”
“Ah, well…” I blushed. Most of the people who knew me did because of my family name. All these guys had actually made a name for themselves. “I actually don’t, I guess. I’m a Winfield.”
The other bearded man, whose name had already escaped me said, “Oh. I didn’t know any of you actually lived around here anymore. I thought the house was basically just for vacations.”
“It kinda feels like that,” I agreed. “I moved into an apartment on the east side of town a couple of years back, but I do go away a lot. I guess the rest of my family does, too. Huh, I never really thought about it, I guess. I’ll have to stick around and come have treats with you guys more often.”
“Sounds good, but make sure you come prepared with gossip,” the ski instructor said.
“You mean a surprise fake wedding proposal isn’t good enough for you?”
“Sure,” he said, shifting his crutches to the other side of his stool. “But you’ll need new material next time you come.”
As I dove into the delicious pie, I decided that I did need to spend more time frequenting the local shops.
While Icarus’ friends started gossiping around me, I had a blast listening to the drama that seemed to surround their lives.
And unlike how I always tried to push my problems under the rug where no one could see them, they seemed to revel in theirs, almost as if they were trying to one-up each other on how ridiculous things could get.
Their way had to be healthier.
I glanced over the counter at Icarus and thought that our chance for a fake marriage would be the perfect kind of fodder for their brunch-time gossip sessions.
“Is this where you guys always hang out?” I asked.
Matty said, “We’re normally at one of our shops. There’s also a bookstore that our friend Christian works at. Those are the main places we go.”
Rather than treating me like an intruder, the group of friends dove back into their conversation as if I had always been a part of them. I had trouble keeping track of the names, but it was easy to tell that they knew almost every detail about each other’s lives.
I thought about the few friends I had, all on my flag football team. I didn’t know as much about all of them combined as these guys each knew about each other.
It felt good to laugh with these new guys and Echo. I hadn’t done enough of that since things had started to turn sour with my ex.
Not wanting to leave them right away, I ordered another slice of pie and a cup of coffee.
Icarus set a new plate down in front of me a few seconds later and shocked us all by saying, “Let’s do it. Let’s get married.”
Barely able to hear myself above all the gasps of shock, I asked, “Are you sure? I mean, I’m still down for it. I’d really like to help you out. I doubt I’ll ever have a real marriage where some lady falls madly in love with me for who I am, so why not help out a friend, you know?”
Icarus fidgeted with his towel while looking embarrassed.
I half expected him to change his mind or say he was just joking. Instead, he said, “Thanks. It seems stupid to turn down such a friendly offer. Hopefully, we’ll be able to piss your parents off badly enough that you feel like you’re getting something out of all of this.”
I worried that it would sound corny if I said that having him around would be enough for me, so I kept my thoughts to myself.
His friends suddenly seemed unable to find their voices.
I laughed to break the silence. “Believe me; if that’s our measuring stick, I stand to get way more out of this than you do. My parents will hate us being married. So how do you want to do this? Short engagement? Long engagement? Big wedding?”
Icarus whistled to get them to quiet down. To me, he said, “We can do all that if you want, but I don’t need it. I’d be fine driving down to the county clerk’s office today and just banging this out.”
Under his breath, but loud enough for us all to hear, Shane whispered, “I bet he’d like to bang him out.”
Everyone laughed as Icarus and I blushed at each other.
They had to know that nothing physical would happen between us.
Not that he wasn’t an attractive man, but I was straight.
To prevent any more sexual jokes, I said, “Today is fine. Perfect, in fact. Let’s get it over with before my parents can even have an opinion about it. I love it. What time are you free?”
He threw his rag into the sink. “I don’t even work here for real. I can go whenever I want.”
“Icarus Jones!” his sister shouted. “You will not be getting married while I’m stuck here unable to take pictures. I don’t even care if it’s a fake wedding. I’m going to get my pictures, and you’re going to throw the bouquet. And if anybody besides me catches it, I’m kicking all your asses. The next wedding around here better be mine, and it better be a real goddamn wedding.”
“Sorry if I touched a raw spot,” I said. “I’ll order the rest of that pie to go if it’ll help.”
Everyone laughed and started to make plans to shut down their shops for the day so they could attend our wedding. Even Echo agreed that she could take one day off for the big event.
As they all pushed me toward the door, I managed to say, “I was serious about that pie thing.”
They were done listening to me apparently. They pushed me out the door and toward my car.
Five
Icarus
“Oh my God, this is so exciting,” Pierre squealed.
“Dude, chill,” I said. “Your hands are flapping so fast, you’re going to fly away if you aren’t careful.”
Pierre stuck out his tongue at me. “I never expected you to go all Bridezilla.”
“Guys, you’re being ridiculous. I’m glad you’re all having fun, but this isn’t a real wedding. I mean, it is, but not really. You know what I mean.”
I glanced at Harley, hoping I hadn’t offended him.
“They aren’t bothering me at all. They’re just having fun.” He wrapped his arm over Pierre’s shoulder and gave him a squeeze.
“Yeah, don’t be a bully,” Pierre said. “It’s not every day one of our friends gets married, fake or otherwise. Let us have this moment.”
Matty chimed in, “Besides, if Harley comes to his senses and runs away somewhere along the way, we absolutely need to be here to see that go down.”
“Did this just turn into a shotgun wedding?” Harley asked with a warm laugh.
No matter how much my friends were bugging me, Harley seemed to be enjoying them just fine.
“Just you wait until you’ve been around them longer,” I mumbled.
“What?” Harley and Shane asked at the same time.
“Nothing,” I said in the sweetest voice I could imagine.
Whether I wanted them following us around or not was irrelevant. They were like flies and Harley was a popsicle. The best I could do was shoo them away and hope they took their time coming back. Which gave me an idea.
“Guys, we’ll have a bunch of boring paperwork to take care of once we get to the county office. Why don’t you let us take care of all that stuff while you go buy us wedding presents? Surely you weren’t planning to come empty-handed, right?”
Pierre shuffled his feet. “But you said it was just a fake wedding.”
“It will be real as far as any judge in Colorado is concerned,” I said.
“Could someone drive me to wherever this ceremony is going to take place?” Shane asked.
“Come on,” Echo said. “I’ll take you. Anyone else need a ride?”
While the group was taking turns hugging me, and heading to their cars, Harley had walked away to make a phone call. I left him alone in case it was important or private.
From a distance, I had a chance to see him anew. His shoulders really were amazingly broad, and his biceps bulged as he talked with his hands. With his posture, size, and presence, he seemed so composed. In addition to just being stunning, he had done such an amazing job of winning over my friends that I would have fallen for him in a second if he had been into men.
He was going to make someone very happy someday.
But for the present, his willingness to help me out had the potential to change my life. He was like a life preserver being tossed at me as I was drowning in the ocean with the waves rising higher every second. Instead of the doom and gloom I’d felt since before the tour season had even started, I had actual hopes that everything would work out. Even when I’d left Tennessee, I’d never really expected my crazy idea to amount to anything.
Being alone with him gave me a chance to reflect on what I’d agreed to.
I’m about to get married. How crazy is that?
I’d originally turned him down because the whole idea was preposterous. I kept expecting Harley to point to a bush where someone with a camera who was recording the whole thing would wave shyly at me. Sure, the guy seemed nice, and interesting, but that was a reason to invite him to poker night at Shane’s, not get married.
In the end, a few things had swayed my decision.
The big one was more the need to stand up to the challenge than anything else. He’d caused such a commotion in the bakery that I’d never hear the end of it if I turned him down. I hadn’t really thought he was serious, but Echo and all of my friends would have been sure to mention it every time I as much as borrowed a dollar from them. So, I decided that I’d make Harley back down instead, but then he went and called my bluff.
Is it possible he really wants to help me out?
And of course, if the marriage accidentally did all work out, how cool would that be? It would be like winning the lottery. Like the stupid commercials always said, you couldn’t win if you didn’t play. As I’d been standing there watching him blend in with my friends, I’d asked myself why couldn’t I have a miracle?
Plenty of other people did every day, so why not me?
Whether Harley ever came through with the money, what we were about to do was sure to shake up my life. My normal routine bored me.
I’d been feeling that I’d need to move and get a fresh start, but moving would mean leaving Echo behind. She had too good a thing going in Challenge. The thought of leaving her behind had kept me in town for another year, trying to make my long-shot business work.
With Harley’s offer, I would be able to give my business the best chance it had to succeed, while also making my own life interesting enough to make it worth sticking around, even if the business continued to struggle.
Plus, he was so very cute when he did things like frown at his phone.
“Okay,” Harley said, shoving the phone into his pocket. “They can’t take us right now. They recommend coming in at one o’clock, after everyone gets back from lunch. I’m hungry. How about you? Where do you want to go?”
“How’s that bar from the other night sound?” With the second wind my business was getting, I felt like it was my duty to pay it forward and help another local business that seemed to be struggling.
“Deal. My treat.”
I was in no position to argue.
We ordered burgers and fries, but Harley barely picked at his fries and didn’t touch the burger at all.
“Feeling okay?” I asked, nodding at his plate.
His smile accentuated the dimples that I hadn’t been able to stop staring at throughout the meal. “Yeah. Just thinking about something you said. You’re not from here. That means there was a time when you moved away from home, and all the
mistakes you’d made when you were younger. That must have been amazing.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, it definitely had some perks. I missed some friends for a while, but most of them that still live there barely have time for each other because of their jobs and families of their own, and so many people just scattered all over the country like the high school sneezed and sent them sailing like dandelion seeds.”
Harley snorted. “That’s very poetic, and I guess depressing.”
I’d never really considered that someone with Harley’s kind of money could have problems. So many of mine were tied up in money somehow, it was hard to imagine not being happy if I had lots of money.
“There are pros and cons to everything we do in life, right? I lost some friends, and made new ones. How about you? It sounds like you regret staying in the town where you grew up?”
“I don’t know about that. Maybe. I think what I regret is letting myself live in limbo these last few years since I dropped out of college. I have friends running big companies, or making movies, or doing all these other amazing things, and I’m just here. I could be doing plenty of fun things here, but I’m just...existing.”
“Is that why you’re doing all of this with me?”
“Probably. I mean, ghost tours? Who does that? It’s unique and we need more unique in this world. If I can help make that work for you, it’ll help me feel like I’ve accomplished something, and who knows, maybe it’ll be a stepping stone for future good things in my life.”
I couldn’t believe how vulnerable and real Harley sounded. Just like I always expected rich people to be happy, I’d always expected them to be in control, too.
“There you go. That’s your business. You can kick-start businesses by marrying the owners and helping them get back on their feet.”
Harley’s laugh made my day. I realized he was doing something so nice for me without seeming to get anything in return. If I could help bring a smile to his face every day, maybe he’d consider it an even deal.