by Zach Jenkins
I glanced at my watch. “Hey, it’s about one. We can just run over to the county office without telling anyone, if you want.”
“Are you insane? Your friends would kill me if I let you get hitched without them being there to torment you. Start making those phone calls, sir, or no marriage for you.”
Harley just kept saying the right things.
I couldn’t wait to see what happened while we were married.
Six
Harley
I shifted my weight on the hard wooden chair. We had been waiting so long that my butt had gone from sore to numb and back to sore again. We were just waiting for the marriage license to be approved, but the lady responsible for it had needed to leave to handle a personal emergency before getting to our request.
I closed my eyes to try and block it all out.
Icarus’ friends were excited, but in a happy, kind of calm way.
I was terrified. Butterflies were busy playing tackle football in my stomach.
I’m about to get married.
Fake marriage or not, it felt like something someone did when they were ready to enter a certain stage of their life, and I didn’t know if I was ready for that stage. After all, I’d just recently ended my last relationship with a perfectly fine woman who had been ready to take exactly the same step with me.
I was going to screw something up, and yet I wanted to stop hurting people the way I’d hurt almost all of my exes.
Icarus and I can’t ever be exes because we’re not really dating.
Even with my eyes closed, I could feel the presence of all of Icarus’ friends around us. Back at the bakery, their excitement had been contagious. After hours of waiting in the office, the energy of the crowd felt stifling.
They were good guys; I was just used to a whole lot more privacy in my life.
Outside the time I spent with my flag football team, I spent a lot of time alone. Even when dating someone, I normally preferred simple dates rather than going out in big groups. Parties were a nightmare for me. Clubs held a special place in my heart some nights, oddly enough, but only if I went by myself. I could go in alone and be in a crowd and still feel like no one was there with me.
When it came to Icarus’ friends, though, it felt like they deserved more of my attention. I wanted to give it to them, but needed a little quiet time before I returned to the game.
With the way Icarus stayed close by his friends, he seemed to have read my mind about needing some solitude.
Or he just isn’t that interested in me.
It was a totally weird thing to be jealous about right before the sham ceremony.
My mood wasn’t mirrored at all by Icarus and his friends.
Across the room, he said to someone, “This’ll be fun. It’s a story I’ll be able to tell everyone for the rest of my life. But I kind of will regret not getting a real kiss when I say ‘I do.’ I’ve never been one to fantasize about my wedding day all that often, especially since I doubted it would ever happen, but there’s something about that kiss…” He trailed off into silence.
I could practically imagine his friends patting him on the shoulder, and pulling him in for a hug to comfort him. It seemed like the kind of thing their close-knit group would do.
The only time I hugged my friends was after a big touchdown.
Something sharp poked me in the forehead. Before I even opened my eyes, Pierre shouted out, “Sorry, Harley. Total accident. I wasn’t even aiming on that side of the room.”
Down between my feet, I saw a paper airplane. The tip of its nose was crumpled.
“Good thing my eyes were closed. The last thing I need is to get poked in the eye and rushed off to the emergency room before we can get this done.”
The room went silent.
Icarus had a confused look on his face that immediately made me want to apologize for my gruffness.
That was new, too. I rarely worried about the feelings of the people I dated because I suspected they were only in it for the money. It was ironic that when I was about to marry a man one hundred percent just for the money, I started worrying about my future spouse’s feelings.
Icarus sat down next to me without saying a word for a few seconds. Still looking straight ahead, he eventually tipped his head toward me and whispered, “You don’t need to do this, you know? I won’t be mad if you’re having second thoughts. This was all your idea and I’ll be fine if we call it off. Getting dumped at the altar will be a huge story for these guys. We’ll be able to gossip about it for weeks.”
I didn’t want to call the wedding off, though.
As silly as it was, I did want to make Icarus happy.
I knew the wedding was a sham, and divorce was certain, but for the brief time that we were together, I had a chance to make him happy. After a long string of exes who hated me, I swore that I would do better with Icarus. Even after we inevitably split up, I still wanted us to be friends.
“Nope. Nothing like that. I’m just hungry and probably need a candy bar to settle my nerves.”
When Icarus grabbed my hand, I didn’t try to pull away. Instead I squeezed back and let him comfort me.
“You’re different than all the women I’ve dated before,” I said.
“I bet,” Icarus said. “After all, I have a penis.”
Smiling, but not letting myself get distracted from what I needed to say, I continued. “I threw money at all of my relationships in the past because it was an easy way to hide the fact that I don’t know how to be in a relationship. I’ve always been selfish and self-centered. I think it will be different with you. I feel something changing in me. I don’t think I’ll go back to being that same jackass I’ve always been. Maybe I’ll just be a new kind of jackass, but even that feels like some kind of progress.”
Icarus’ eyes searched my face, but I didn’t know what to say next.
“Yeah, I definitely need some more food once we wrap this up,” I eventually said, trying to lighten the mood again.
Icarus squeezed my hand and looked ready to say something when the door opened and the old lady walked back into the room.
“Sorry for the delay. Everything is squared away now. I just need your signatures.”
She handed us a clipboard with a piece of paper on it and pointed at the two empty lines where we were supposed to sign our names.
We each took one of the pens she offered to us, but neither of us reached for the clipboard.
“We still doing this?” Icarus asked.
“Nothing could talk me out of it.” I took the clipboard from the lady, and scribbled my signature in a rush.
Icarus leaned across my body to sign his name, too. The clean shampoo smell of his hair calmed me somehow. I recognized the brand as the same one that I used. It was such a small detail, but if we could both agree on something so simple, maybe our fake marriage would go well, too.
At least long enough for me to get the money from my parents and give half of it to him, I reminded myself.
Things were a blur from that point.
When his friends started taking pictures as we walked to the courthouse chambers, I wished I had thought to dress in a suit. But we were both dressed casually in a similar way, which seemed to fit the situation.
No need to take any of it too seriously.
Just have fun with the moment.
The judge kept things brief like we’d asked, and before I knew it we were saying, “I do.”
When the judge said that I could kiss the groom, I knew I wanted to do something special for Icarus.
I pulled him tightly against my body and leaned over him, bending him into a deep dip.
I closed my eyes and kissed him.
Deeper and with more care than I’d ever kissed anyone before.
His lips parted for my tongue as he responded and started kissing me back.
We continued for several seconds until Shane said, “Straight, my ass.”
Icarus and I both laughed, ending the kiss.<
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That laugh meant everything.
For one small second, I was pretty sure I’d genuinely made him happy. If I could do it once with him, I could do it again and again with someone.
When Icarus ran off to show his friends the simple silver wedding bands we’d bought along the way, I watched him from afar and beamed with pride that I was the one who had made him happy.
Why can’t he be the one that I keep making happy?
I had no idea how long our relationship would last—I planned to meet with my parents as soon as possible and get the paperwork started—but as long as it did last, I planned to pamper Icarus as well as I could and do my best to keep that smile on his face.
Seven
Icarus
Drinks after the ceremony had been Matty’s idea, and dancing had been Pierre’s. Despite how well their ideas always seemed to mesh together, they weren’t anywhere near each other on the dance floor. No matter how close life seemed to be pushing them together, they always seemed to find a way to keep themselves apart, like they were waiting for just one more thing before they would commit to each other.
“So, dancing isn’t really your thing, huh?” I said, watching Harley spin to the left when he should have spun right.
“Not this kind.” He didn’t expand on that thought. Probably because he was too busy counting the beat and trying to figure out what to do next.
“But this is just the electric slide,” I said. “I thought everyone knew that? Even you straight guys use that to pick up women, right?”
I cringed.
Why am I talking about how straight he is? Could anything be any lamer on my wedding night?
I replayed that kiss in my head at least a hundred times on the way to the dance club. It sure hadn’t felt like a gag or pity kiss to me.
Harley hadn’t brought it up, so I’d stayed quiet about it too, but I wanted to talk about it.
Everyone was having so much fun; I didn’t want to bring down the mood by making anything complicated.
Yeah, like talking about how straight he is will keep the party jumping.
Besides, it was just a kiss. He was playing a role to keep my friends happy. That had to be it.
When I saw Harley facing the wrong way again, I slid over next to him and said, “Here. Let me help.”
I spun him so he was facing the front of the dance floor again and tapped my toe waiting for the song to catch up to the direction we were facing. As it got close, I yelled loudly enough to be heard over the sound system, “4, 3, 2, 1.”
With my hands on his hips I tried to guide him through the steps. He had trouble with the footwork, but at least he kept facing the right direction with my help.
“Hey, this is fun,” he yelled back at me over his shoulder. “Keep doing that, and I think I’ll get the hang of it.”
Of course, the song ended a few seconds later, stealing my chance to keep my body pressed against Harley’s, which would have given him another opportunity to prove that the kiss had meant more than I was sure that it had.
Having my hands on his hips as he swayed to the beat had made me think plenty of impure thoughts beyond just kissing.
That’s because I’m gay. Harley isn’t. Knock this off before I do something to make him regret ever being willing to help me out.
At least with the song having ended, I had to pull my hands away. Harley didn’t need me dangling all over his body.
As everyone headed to the bar, I decided that there could be no more drinks for me. Drunk, I’d be way too likely to throw myself at him.
If anything ever did happen between us, I vowed to make sure alcohol didn’t play a part in us making a decision Harley would regret in the morning.
And if I was able to keep myself under control, I knew we’d be safe.
Harley was straight, I reminded myself for the millionth time. The kiss had surely been just him putting on a show for my friends.
That made him a nice guy, but it didn’t mean he was ever going to fall for me.
Harley dragged me to the bar to join my friends and immediately ordered a round of shots for everyone.
Well, one more drink won’t hurt anything. It’s my wedding night, after all.
Harley raised a shot glass toward me and said, “To Icarus. May this wedding help him get everything he wants out of life, and may it help me get what I need.”
I had planned on only pretending to drink my shot until he spoke.
What the hell does that mean? Everything that I want? And everything that he needs? What is he implying?
In my head, I could still feel the press of his lips on mine, and the light tease of his tongue.
Chugging the shot didn’t make the memories go away.
Harley got the attention of the bartender and ordered another round. Once we all had our drinks, Matty said, “It’s your turn for a toast, Icarus.”
I had no idea what to say. Up until a few hours earlier, I’d had no idea I was getting married. Based on my past relationship failures, it wasn’t like I had wedding day toasts pre-planned, either.
I held out my glass and awkwardly said, “Um, thank you all for being here, and thanks to Harley for making it all possible. Now, let’s finish the toasts so we can have another beer and get back to partying.”
I rolled my eyes at my lame toast, but my friends hooted and hollered. They’d all been drinking way more heavily than Harley and me.
I still couldn’t believe he’d been willing to let them be involved in the day.
When everybody raced back to the dance floor, I stayed behind to catch my breath. I liked dancing, but the noise of the bar was getting to me.
“You starting to wear out?” Harley asked.
“I’m not much of a club guy anymore, I guess. I prefer the quiet of being at home.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Harley said, taking several deep swallows from a beer that had magically appeared in his hand.
“Plus, I’m not even sure how I’m going to pay for these drinks tonight. I should have just ordered water.”
“My treat,” Harley immediately said.
“No, I couldn’t let you do that.”
“We’re married. My money is your money and yours is mine, right?”
“Sure, I guess.” It was strange to think of having any kind of access to his money. I still hadn’t been convinced that he was ever going to give me any real money. I didn’t even care, honestly. I’d needed to shake something up in my life, and you couldn’t do much more dramatic than getting married. “You can have all the coins you find in the couch at Echo’s.”
He raised his drink to me in a silent toast before chugging it.
“My buddies from my flag football team go out a lot,” he added. “Nothing good ever seems to happen when I go with them. So I started staying at home after our games most of the time. In fact, they all know that if I’m out drinking with them, something bad is probably going on in my life. This is the first time I can remember walking into a club happy. Thanks for the fun day.”
I didn’t know how to reply. He’d been the one who had done everything for me. Why was he thanking me for anything?
We both sat with our backs to the bar and watched my friends make fools of themselves on the dance floor.
Harley leaned over and bumped me with his shoulder. “I’m perfectly happy to stay as long as you want, but if we leave now, it will definitely be the first time I walked into a bar and left it happy. But seriously, if you want to dance some more, I’ll be right there with you, shaking my groove thing.”
I hopped off my barstool. “I’m ready to go home. I was only staying because I thought you wanted to be here. These guys won’t even know we’ve left. They’ll have just as much fun with or without us.”
As we walked out of the dance club, it felt weird to know that I was going back home with my husband. I wasn’t sure if the occasion called for holding hands or not, and I still couldn’t shake the suspicion that our kiss had been at least
a little bit of something, but I didn’t reach for his hand, and he didn’t reach for mine.
Still, as we walked out of the club, I couldn’t remember the last time I was that happy.
I’d probably never know what had really made Harley so happy, but he’d definitely given me an incredible wedding day, even if it was all fake.
Eight
Harley
I slammed my phone down on the kitchen counter, upset enough that I forgot to worry about breaking the screen. A quick glance confirmed that I’d gotten lucky.
With the phone at least.
“Damn, man,” Icarus said from from the other side of the kitchen. “Be gentle with that thing. New phones cost a fortune.”
“I’ve got some bad news,” I told Icarus.
He was busy opening cabinet doors, taking a peek, closing them and moving on to the next one. “Almost all of these are empty. What do you eat? What do you cook with?”
I didn’t want a lecture about how unhealthy it was to eat out almost every meal. I ate Raisin Bran most days for breakfast. That had to help.
“Seriously, man. We’re going to have to put everything on hold. My parents are on vacation.”
Icarus opened the pantry door. “Jesus Christ. This is bigger than Echo’s kitchen. Don’t worry about the vacation. We can talk to them next week when they’re home. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t understand. They didn’t go to Michigan for the weekend to pick blueberries. They’re somewhere in Europe. They won’t be home for a month.”
“Really? I can’t even imagine what I’d do if I went somewhere for that long. That’s practically like moving. Well, I’d go broke. That’s for certain. Listen, man. Don’t worry about it. Everything will be fine. We’ll make it work. So this is the kitchen. Where should I put my bags?”
We’d stopped at Echo’s long enough to grab Icarus’ essentials.
I stared at my new husband, my temporary one, at least. “You can have my room and I’ll move to the spare one.”