My Earl the Spy

by Audrey Harrison

  It was inevitable that Milly would cross paths with the people she least wanted to meet and, so it was, on the second evening she was in Mr Marshall’s drawing room when Mr and Mrs Connor were announced.

  Milly was aware there were many eyes looking in her direction, but she maintained her composure, carrying on the conversation she had been enjoying until the announcement was made. She did not look at the newcomers until she was approached by Mrs Connor.

  “Miss Holland! So, the rumours are true, and you have returned home,” Mrs Connor exclaimed. She was the same age as Milly, and had, in the distant past, shared a friendship of sorts, but that had come to a halt after the death of Mr Holland.

  “I have. Good evening, Mrs Connor,” Milly said, curtseying and inclining her head slightly in greeting.

  “We have enjoyed your letters, full of news; your Mama delighted in reading them to us. You put us to shame, all the gadding about you did in London and Dorset! We must seem positively rustic to you now!”

  “Not at all.” Milly cringed inwardly that her mother had boasted about what she was doing in London; everyone knew she was there as a companion which made the boasting all the more to be ridiculed by those who chose to and, as in other towns up and down the country, there were many of that type of person filling the drawing rooms.

  “You must come by one day and take tea with us. See how the old place has changed!” Mrs Connor said, sensing the discomfort, rather than being able to see it. Milly was determined not to give anything away.

  “Thank you.”

  “My darling Mr Connor, shouldn’t Miss Holland come to visit us? She’ll be astounded at the change in the house, won’t she?”

  Mr Connor approached the pair, having the decency to look uncomfortable, but he smiled at Milly, a smile that did not reach his eyes. “Of course, whenever you wish.”

  “Thank you,” Milly responded. It was now more than four years since it had happened, but he had not changed overmuch. His girth was slightly wider, his hair slightly thinner, and the creases a sign of the frowns he normally wore were deeply ingrained, but he was still the first man she had fallen in love with. He was the one she had shared kisses with, had planned a future with, but he had betrayed her.

  “You will have to meet my babies,” Mrs Connor gushed. Her expression betraying that she was fully aware of what she wanted her words to achieve.

  “How many children do you have?” Milly asked politely.

  “Three, two girls and a boy. Who would have thought that I would have so many children and you none as yet? I remember you always saying you wanted a large family; well never mind; I’m sure there is still time. My babies are absolute images of their father. It will be as if you are looking back at the past if you see them!”

  “I shall look forward to it. Please excuse me; Mrs Hastings is trying to catch my attention,” Milly said thankful of an escape.

  She approached Sarah with a grimace. “Tell me not everyone could hear every word she uttered.”

  “I’m afraid so,” Sarah muttered with a glare towards Mrs Connor’s back. “How utterly insensitive! Although she will have gained no favours by being so openly cruel.”

  “I think she disguised it quite well; she was all smiles and didn’t actually say anything wrong,” Milly responded with a sigh. “I should perhaps have stayed with my cousins until I secured a place. I don’t seem to be very good at making sensible decisions for myself!”

  “Why should you not come home? This has been your home just as long as it has been theirs. It isn’t right that you feel unwelcome. Please say you won’t visit them.”

  “I doubt my mother would allow me to avoid an invitation when there is food involved. You know her miserly ways,” Milly said with a whisper.

  “Yes, but in your old house?”

  “I expect that will increase her determination to accept the invitation. Then I can be shown what supposedly could have been mine. I do wish she would accept what happened.”

  Milly was fully aware of how long Mrs Holland would spend berating her once Milly had seen the inside the house that had once been their home. There had been remonstrations throughout the years, luckily in letter form, preventing their vehemence being quite as strong as it would be face to face. The placid-natured Milly resigned herself to the scolding she would receive. It appeared that even at eight and twenty she was still at the mercy of her mother’s disappointment.

  When mother and daughter finally returned home, Milly wished her parent good night and sought refuge in her bedchamber. It was a small room, but perfectly adequate for the bed, chest of drawers and chair that filled the room. A screen in the corner shielded the washing bowl and stand. The window looked out over the street, which Milly enjoyed as it allowed her to hear the sounds of the night decreasing as the hours passed before morning heralded the start of another busy day on Castle Street.

  As she lay in her bed, Milly pondered the evening. She had thought it would be worse; yes, Mrs Connor’s insensitivity, perhaps even gloating, had been hard to bear, but it had not affected her as much as she had expected it too.

  In her mind she had remembered him differently, almost as if she had not been worthy of him. She had realised something that she probably should have thought of long before; he was not the perfect specimen she had turned him into; instead he was the man who had treated her shamefully and had transferred his affection so quickly to another. Milly no longer believed he had been seriously attached to her in the first place, and the thought did not upset her the way she expected it to.

  She had to admit to surprise that, when she had seen him, her heart did not flutter; she was not rendered breathless, and her eyes did not fill with tears of regret. Those were the reactions that had been expected by probably half the people in the drawing room, but there were no such reactions; in fact any feeling had been lacking; she admitted to herself that seeing him had not moved her at all; oh yes, the situation was embarrassing, and having the life that they had planned out for themselves being described by Mrs Connor as her own was hard to bear, but any regret at the loss of her beau was absent.

  It was a strange position to be in when something had been so much a part of her for so long, but she felt a weight lift when she realised she no longer loved him and fell asleep pondering whether her feelings had been anything more than a first infatuation.

  Chapter 6

  Milly was to be proved correct; when the invitation came, Mrs Holland insisted on accompanying her daughter to take tea with Mrs Connor.

  They walked to the manor house they had once called home, taking advantage of the bright afternoon sunshine. Milly looked with interest at the grounds as there was a nugget of curiosity to see her old home and the effects a large dowry had had on it. The gardens had clearly been redesigned; new formal pathways wound their way through what had been grassed areas. People visiting could see some of the dramatic features as soon as they traversed on the driveway, which was clearly planned to impress all new arrivals to the property.

  From the outside the house looked the same as it had for centuries, Tudor fronted with later additions kept to the back of the house to avoid spoiling the frontage. Mrs Connor was waiting for them at the doorway, a unique method of greeting someone; she had clearly been watching for their arrival.

  “Do come in!” she exclaimed, when they were still a minute from the large wooden doorway. “Welcome to our humble abode!”

  The pair were welcomed into the square hallway where, along with relieving them of their bonnets and parasols, Mrs Connor, pointed out every change in furniture and decoration that had taken place since the house had been bought at a very reasonable price to ease the burden of the debts.

  “Before we take tea, let me show you the rest of the house! I know you’ll be eager to see it!”

  Milly smiled, wondering how a hostess’ words could be so far from the truth. Milly was curious; that she admitted to herself, but the animosity radiating from her mother did not bode wel
l. The problem was that Milly was fully aware that the ill-feeling was directed at herself rather than their hostess; each step they took into every room would reinforce the fact that her mother believed Milly could have done something to secure Mr Connor. Her mother’s belief should have been a compliment, but the reality was it was not.

  Eventually, they returned to the morning room, where Mrs Connor bemoaned the lack of morning sunshine in the room, expressing that it would have been better placed in another location, but the room was too small to be put to any better use. Mrs Holland stiffened in her chair, but Milly was relieved to see that she did not utter anything that would cause upset. A pity their hostess did not have the same restraint.

  “I hope you think we have improved the house. It was badly in need of repair when we moved in,” Mrs Connor babbled. Her brunette curls bouncing around her face as she spoke.

  “You have made many changes,” Milly answered diplomatically.

  “I wanted to pull it down and start again, but Mr Connor was sentimental about the building so, as you can see, I refitted it completely. I’ve asked Nanny to bring the children down. I just know you will dote on them!”

  The three Connor children were dutifully brought in to be paraded before the visitors. Milly smiled at them in welcome and received shy smiles in return. They all seemed a little in awe of their mother and wary of Mrs Holland, who just glared at them.

  When Mrs Connor felt that her children had been admired enough, she sent them away to the nurseries far sooner than Milly had expected. “They could join us,” Milly said as they prepared to walk in line out of the door.

  “Oh no, dear me, no! They have dirty hands, they might touch something. No, no! They are much better in the nursery; we haven’t changed that part of the house since we moved here; it is perfectly fine for messy children.”

  Milly’s heart felt heavy at the thought of the children, not important enough to have their rooms refitted, something that had needed to be done even in her own day of using the rooms.

  “So are you excited to attend the ball next week?” Mrs Connor asked, forgetting her children as soon as they had left the room.

  “I’m not aware of an upcoming ball,” Milly responded.

  “Why the ball here of course! It’s an annual event, isn’t it, Mrs Holland? As one of the high families in the area, I think it’s important to set the standards for the others in town. Mummy and Daddy pay for it of course; Mr Connor says we are not frittering away our own money when Mummy and Daddy don’t need the amount that they have. It will be a wonderful event; the flowers alone will cost over a hundred pounds!”

  “It sounds impressive,” Milly responded. She inwardly groaned; would the torture never end? She would have to sit with the wallflowers, it was a guarantee; no one would come near her to dance, afraid of upsetting their host. Suddenly the town felt too small.

  Mrs Connor continued to express how wonderful her life was and how perfect her husband was. She never stopped in her flow of inane babble; the result being that Milly almost started to pity Mr Connor ̶ almost but not quite.

  Eventually, they were allowed to leave with the promise that Mrs Connor would call on them tomorrow with a personal invitation for Milly. She was determined the woman she viewed as her rival would be in attendance on the night that she was the belle of the town.

  Mrs Holland was quiet as they started to retrace their steps; both women were drained at being bombarded by such nonstop chatter for so long. Eventually she sighed. “It should be you organising that ball.”

  “No, it shouldn’t. I would have hated my life to turn out like that,” Milly said with feeling.

  “What, rather than living as some stranger’s companion?” Mrs Holland snapped.

  “Mother,” Milly sighed. “He broke off the engagement with me. I had no control over the situation. Added to that, we would not have had the same life as he is enjoying now.” She was aware that her dowry would not have provided the luxuries that Mrs Connor’s dowry had.

  “You could have done something! I prefer the country air to being in the centre of town.”

  “I’m sorry about that, Mother, but let’s hope Stephen and Gerald will set-up a home in the country, and you could perhaps live with them,” Milly said jovially.

  “It is the daughter’s role to care for her parents, not the sons! You should have provided better for me!”

  As Milly could not have guaranteed that Mr Connor would have agreed with her mother’s sentiments even if they had married, she thought it prudent to remain silent on the subject.

  *

  Milly sat with Sarah, drinking tea, the atmosphere of the house completely different than the one she had visited that morning. In this home the children were free to explore and play when not in lessons or having naps. It meant that the building was constantly noisy, filled with laughter with only the occasional natural tears of childhood being heard.

  “It must have been strange to visit after all this time,” Sarah said, settling in for a chat.

  “It was, but it’s been so long now that I didn’t feel anything until she said that they hadn’t refurbished the nurseries! Those poor children!”

  Sarah smiled. “She is all about show and always has been. The children are there to be paraded when appropriate and hidden away for the rest of the time. She is always lecturing me about lack of control over my brood.”

  Milly laughed. “I know which house I’d rather live in.”

  “Did you see that dastardly man?”

  “No! You must stop that Sarah. It really doesn’t matter.”

  “I know I should be more magnanimous. You are very forgiving, and if you have forgiven him I should be able to as well, but if you’d married him you wouldn’t be constantly leaving us.” Sarah bemoaned what she saw as the loss of her dearest friend.

  “You are very sweet and a dear friend, but I honestly think that, on reflection, we wouldn’t have suited. From the little I’ve heard, he seems to be driven by money; I could never be that way. And from all accounts they are supported a lot by the parents; again, something that wouldn’t have happened if we had married.”

  “You are more generous in the circumstances than I could be.”

  “I’m being realistic. And anyway, I’m normally quite happy with my lot; well I was..,” Milly started, surprising herself as she realised what her words meant.

  “Has coming home upset you so much?” Sarah asked sadly.

  “No, it’s what I left behind that has upset my equilibrium,” Milly admitted, glad to be able to speak openly to someone about her inner turmoil.

  “Tell me more!” Sarah exclaimed with a smile and listened to Milly with rapt attention. “He sounds divine!” Sarah moaned with pleasure.

  “I just get the feeling that I would have experienced real heartache if I’d been able to stay and see more of him. It wouldn’t have had a happy ending,” Milly said perceptively.

  “But after such a short amount of time, your feelings are so strong for him; you have to admit that is terribly romantic!”

  Milly laughed. “It has shown me just how shallow my feelings for Percy Connor were. I truly believe that Percy and I were not really in love. Seeing him should have affected me more than it has; I’ve been unmoved by the experience. Leaving Lord Grinstead behind is another matter. I physically feel as if I have left a part of me in London. It is irrelevant, though; we aren’t likely to meet again unless I manage to get a position with a young girl who has yet to take part in the season in London, and that is highly unlikely.”

  “How are your enquiries going?”

  “I’ve sent off two enquiries, but both were for elderly ladies. There aren’t many advertisements for younger ladies; I expect family members are used in those instances. It’s a pity because I would still like to enjoy a little bit of society from time to time, which is less likely with an elderly employer.”

  “If only your Earl had a younger sister that needed a chaperone, then you could fal
l in love and marry, once you’d found a good match for your charge, of course!” Sarah said with a wistful smile.

  “I’d forgotten just what an incurable romantic you are! He’s not my Earl, and he says that he’s no family, so I doubt there is a sister waiting for my help.”

  “That is such a shame. I suppose he could have an illegitimate child somewhere who you could chaperone, but that would not aid the situation in regards to your romance. We don’t need a jealous mistress in the background!”

  “Sarah! If your husband heard you speaking in such a way, I doubt he would ever let you read a book again!” Milly laughed.

  “It’s the papers that are the worst,” Sarah confessed. “You wouldn’t believe the scandal that’s reported in those pages. I have to wait until he’s gone out before I touch them; he would be horrified if he realised I pour over them!”

  “I’m not surprised!” Milly shook her head in amusement at her friend.

  “I need some excitement in my life!” Sarah said with a laugh. Both friends knew she was perfectly happy with her lot.

  “I could happily live without excitement,” Milly responded with feeling. “Excitement usually brings trouble.”

  Chapter 7

  Joshua was handed the crumpled sheet of paper. He grasped it as if he wanted to tear it into tiny pieces, but he could not. His image stared back at him as he glowered at the drawing. The two others in the room watched with interest at Joshua’s reaction.

  “Where did you get this?” he growled at the young man.

  “It was in the pocket of one of them nosey-beaks,” the young man responded, hoping that his find would bring him a reward. Roaming the streets, trying to make use of an opportunity had kept him alive so far, and he was always looking for the next chance.

  “Nosey-beaks?”

  “Those ‘cise men.”

  “If the excise men have a picture of you, they’re definitely still out to get you; they’re going to a lot of trouble,” Mack said to his fellow criminal.