Hold On

by Tabitha Levin

  This is about Danny? I shake my head. No. He’s not going to use my ex boyfriend as an excuse that we can’t be together. “I’m over him. I’ve moved on.”

  “I need the person I fuck to be thinking about me.”

  Who else would I be thinking about when I’ve got the hottest guy I can stand telling me he wants to fuck me? It’s impossible to think about anything else, when every part of me is screaming for him to touch me. I reach up and stroke his cheek. The warmth of his skin is radiating through my fingers. “Ethan, I can’t think about anything but you already, and I haven’t even kissed you yet.”

  His intense focus is back on me. His gaze travels down to my lips and I know he wants to kiss me. It’s what I want more than anything, yet he doesn’t budge.

  It’s in this moment that I know that I have to make the first move. I’m not drunk this time, my intentions are clear.

  I keep my eyes open as I lean forward. Our lips are almost touching and I can feel his breath against my skin. Without any further hesitation I brush my mouth over his, feeling his soft lips on mine.

  He groans into my mouth as my lips part slowly. His arms reach around my body, one hand resting against the small of my back and the other holding the back of my neck so he can guide me closer.

  I wrap my arms around his neck as our kisses become more hungry and urgent. When his tongue enters my mouth, I moan gently. This only makes him hold me tighter and kiss me harder.

  “Sarah,” he whispers into my mouth. “Are you sure?”

  I am sure. I’m surer than I’ve ever been before. “I want you, Ethan.”

  Without breaking contact with my mouth, he leads me backwards toward his bedroom. I stumble slightly when we get to his doorway but his grip around me is strong and he doesn’t let me fall. My whole body is alive with need and as he leads me toward his bed, I begin to take off my clothing.

  It doesn’t take me long to get completely naked, my clothes almost melting off me.

  He pauses as his gaze travels over my bare flesh. “Jeez, Sarah, you’re even more beautiful than I imagined.” His hand reaches out to touch my stomach, and as soon as he makes contact, I bite my lip to stop from moaning again. He kneels in front of me and kisses just above my belly button. I can feel his tongue swirl in a complete circle before he stands and his lips brush against mine again.

  It’s his turn to undress and I sit back onto his bed and watch him hungrily as he removes his tee, shorts and underwear. His cock is magnificent. More beautiful than I had fantasized about.

  “Lie down,” he says.

  His tongue is back on my stomach, but this time he’s not making a circle, he’s trailing lower and lower until his face is hovering between my legs. Oh god.

  When his tongue glides down my folds, I almost come right there and then. Instead I let a soft deep groan of pleasure escape from my lips.

  Ethan grabs hold of my ass as he pulls me higher. My legs fall open wider and he uses his tongue to move in and out of my sex. I’ve never had anyone else do that to me, and I grip the sheets in my fists as I become lost to the exquisite pleasure. When I think I can’t handle any more he pushes harder into me.

  Whether it’s from the expectation of being with him, or the fact that he knows exactly what to do, I’m at the edge of climax quicker than I expect. “I’m going to come,” I announce.

  “That’s the whole fucking point,” he murmurs into me.

  His mouth moves and I can feel him pull against my clit with his lips. He’s sucking it into his mouth and rolling his tongue around the tip of the sensitive flesh. “Oh god, Ethan!”

  My body convulses as I become wracked with an intense orgasm. He holds my ass tight, drinking in the wetness that is escaping from my body.

  “Oh god, oh god, oh god.”

  I come harder than I’ve ever come before.

  Chapter 11

  He climbs over me until he’s above me. We aren’t touching and I’m amazed he has the strength to hold himself up with his arms without falling onto me. But then again, with his body, strength was never something I doubted. My eyes graze across his shoulder and his arm and the tattoo that he’s had inked there.

  “Say my name,” he says.

  “Ethan.” My voice is low and soft. It feels like I’m breathing his name out with a low moan. “Ethan,” I repeat.

  “Sarah,” he replies before leaning down and kissing me, his tongue parting my lips.

  He rolls away from me and fumbles in his top drawer, pulling out a silver condom packet. His eyes are back on my face as he rips open the foil and pulls out the clear condom inside.

  I hear my phone beep on the table in the other room and I’m momentarily distracted, wondering who’s messaging me at a time like this. My distraction doesn’t last long though, as he rolls the condom over his hard cock and positions himself between my legs.

  My thighs part in response, I’m eager to feel Ethan inside me. I want him.

  His tongue enters my mouth at the same time as his cock enters me. I gasp at how much he fills me. I didn’t expect it to feel different from Danny, but it does. It’s better. Way better.

  Ethan moves slowly at first, his hips rocking deliberately. But I don’t want him to be gentle with me, I’m too far gone for that.

  “Fuck me harder, Ethan,” I whisper into his mouth. “I need it.”

  He pulls away from my mouth, his eyes dark and intense and staring right into me. He’s not sure whether he should.

  I groan. I wish people would stop thinking I’m too fragile to handle myself. “Do it.”

  I wrap my legs around Ethan’s waist and pull him tighter to my body. The corner of his mouth turns up in a grin and he grabs my wrists and pushes them down onto the bed. I’m pinned.

  He continues to lock his eyes with mine as he increases his pace. His cock feels so good. He watches me carefully as he thrusts deeper and I let out a guttural moan of approval.

  He’s only just started but I’m going to come again. I really wish I could hold on to this feeling forever, but it’s like he knows my secret buttons. I’ve never come twice this close before.

  He leans down and grazes his teeth down the side of my neck and over my shoulder, sucking and nibbling as he continues to fuck me.

  I try to move my arms so I can feel his flesh under my fingertips but he won’t let them budge. “I want you to come first,” he whispers in my ear. “I want to ride the waves of your pleasure when I’m inside you.”

  Oh god.

  I knew it wouldn’t take long. A few more deep thrusts and I arch my back and cry out as my climax ripples through me. Ethan groans and uses my body’s natural shuddering to push deep inside me until he too is caught in the throes of ecstasy. He continues to move slowly before finally pulling out and discarding the used condom in a nearby bin.

  “That was …” I search for the right words, staring up at the ceiling.

  “That was just the beginning,” he finishes, before kissing me hungrily.

  I nuzzle into his chest as he places his strong arm around my shoulder. I can’t believe I’ve slept with him. I also can’t believe I waited for so long. It was amazing, and all I want now, is to do it again.

  I’m still in a delicious haze of contentment when he finally rolls off the bed. “I’m going to have a shower,” he says. “Want to join?”

  “Sure,” I say giddily. “I’ll be there in a second.”

  He goes ahead of me and I wander into the living room to see who was messaging me earlier.

  I pick up my phone. It’s from Lauren. Whatever you do, do NOT sleep with Ethan Collier. I’ll explain more later. L xx.

  I swallow. It’s a little late for that.

  Chapter 12

  I stare down at the message and try and make sense of it. Why didn’t she just come out and tell me what she’d found out? I already knew about the armed robbery and the dealings with a biker gang. He explained all of that, and frankly, I didn’t care about his former life anymore. All I
cared about was losing myself to Ethan’s gorgeous lips again - the only Ethan Collier that I’ve gotten to know over the last week, not some ghost from the past that wasn’t real to me.

  It wasn’t fair of her to be so mysterious, although I should be used to it by now. I check the time. She should be out to dinner with her boss man, not messaging me. That meant whatever it was, it was important enough to take her attention away from him.

  Frowning, I contemplate what to do next. Ignore the message and let Ethan massage me into another orgasmic frenzy in the shower, or ring her and ask her what the hell is going on.

  The water from the shower calls to me. All I have to do is put the phone back on the table and head toward the steamy heaven. I decide that I don’t care what else she’s found, at least not for the next few hours. I deserve to have some happiness after all the shit that’s happened over the last few months.

  I swipe delete and walk toward the bathroom door.

  “You took your time,” he says, his eyes travelling up and down my naked body.

  “Just checking my messages.” I step under the stream of hot water trying not to stare at his semi-erect cock. It’s just begging to be touched and I nearly do as I maneuver past him.

  He lifts my gaze up to his face and kisses me roughly. His tongue snakes into my mouth as the water cascades over my face. My body responds immediately to his touch. So does his, because his semi-erect cock has become hard against my stomach.

  As his mouth travels down my neck, I groan. “You don’t have another condom in here, do you?”

  “As a matter of fact…” he reaches up to the soap dish and pulls out another silver packet. He grins. “I came prepared.”

  “Like a good boy scout.” I imagine he’ll have them hidden all over the apartment from now on. The thought of having sex in every room sends a warm shiver up and down my skin.

  “Good boy scout?” He raises an eyebrow as he pushes me back against the slippery tiles. “I was too busy being bad.” He grabs my waist and lifts me off the floor. The only thing holding me up is my legs wrapped around his waist and his hands on my ass.

  “Ethan,” I whisper as his cock brushes against my sensitive folds. But before I can say anymore his tongue is back in my mouth and I groan against his lips.

  He adeptly rolls the condom on his erect dick while keeping his tongue firmly in my mouth. He’s obviously done this before, but I don’t dwell on it. So what if he’s had more experience with sex than I have, I’m the one reaping the beautiful benefits of his expert skills right now.

  “Oh god,” I moan as his cock slides into me. What a benefit indeed!

  The tiles feel cold against my back, but the water is warm so I don’t mind. Ethan moves back slightly and I have to grab hold of his shoulders and neck to stop slipping away. His eyes glide over my wet body, as he continues to move into me. “You’re so easy to fuck, Sarah,” he says with a low growl.

  Easy to fuck? I don’t understand what he means and I try and push my first reaction that it’s a bad thing away. I can feel my insecurities bubbling up faster than my approaching orgasm. Easy to fuck - what the hell does that mean?

  I look over to try to gauge his reaction, but he’s lost to the moment and I can’t read him. Before I can dwell on it any further, his cock is thrusting faster and deeper inside me and I can’t concentrate on anything else as my body takes over.

  As my orgasm approaches, I momentarily forget about everything except how exquisite Ethan feels inside me. I close my eyes and arch my back as my body spasms into climax. I can feel one last thrust and he groans his own pleasure.

  Breathing heavily I pull him close as he slips out of me. My legs are still around his waist as I take time to regain myself. I’m clinging to him. I try and tell myself it’s because I don’t want to fall, but I could easily place my feet on the ground without holding onto him this tight.

  Don’t be that girl, I tell myself. My thoughts are spinning out of control. I don’t want to be the type that thinks now that we’ve had sex that we are going to become the perfect couple with kids and a picket fence. Especially not with someone like Ethan.

  I know that this is nothing more than hot sex with a gorgeous guy. I wanted that. I didn’t want anything else. But my lack of experience means I’m second guessing everything and I want to rip the thoughts from my brain.

  I’ve had three orgasm’s in an hour and I’m doubting myself.

  “Everything good?” he asks.

  I place my feet on the tiled floor and let go of his neck. “That was fun,” I say casually. I almost sound sincere. I turn my back and grab the soap as I lather up my body as if I’m alone in the shower.

  “Fun?” He places his arm around my waist from behind. “Fun is riding a dirt road at a hundred miles an hour. That was way better.”

  I turn back to him and notice an amused look on his face. Before I can stop myself, I hear the words escape my lips. “What did you mean that I was easy to fuck?” I immediately bite my tongue before more words of insanity threaten to erupt.

  “Huh?” His expression immediately changes and the intense darkness behind his eyes has returned. “I like fucking you. You’re gorgeous.”

  “Okay.” I try to smile.

  “Sarah, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just said it in the heat of the moment.”

  I wave my hand in the air. “Of course, I know that. I was just asking.”

  He leans in close, like he wants me to pay careful attention to his words. “I like you. You’re sweet.” He kisses me on the forehead.

  “I like you, too.” He can’t see that I’m doubting his words.

  Or maybe I’m doubting myself? It wouldn’t be the first time. God, how did I get so messed up? I should be elated to be in Ethan’s arms right now, especially after the amazing sex, we’ve just had, but I’m second guessing every word that comes from his gorgeous lips. I don’t deserve to be with someone as awesome as him, that’s very obvious now.

  “I might have an early night tonight,” I say.

  “You’re going to bed?” He frowns. “It’s only like eight or something.”

  “Closer to nine.” Like that makes a difference.

  He steps back. “Alone?”

  Why? Because I’m so easy to fuck? “Yes, I’m just really tired. That’s cool isn’t it?” Ah, the awkwardness of the after sex, what-do-we-do-now conversation. “Plus my fingers are starting to prune up.” I show him my water-wrinkled hands.

  He turns off the faucets and we stand there staring at each other like strangers.

  He is the first one to move and he steps out of the shower, hands me a towel and then gets one for himself. “I’m going for a ride to get something to eat. If you change your mind.”

  The image of me riding on the back of his bike, my arms around his waist is appealing. That would be the right thing to do to salvage this train-wreck of a moment right now. “It’s okay, I’m not hungry,” I lie, as I’ve not had any dinner.

  I wrap the towel around my body and walk toward my bedroom, grabbing my phone as I go passed. I look back over my shoulder. “See you in the morning.”

  “Sure, Sarah,” he says. He is still naked, the towel in his hand and not around his waist. “The morning.”

  Chapter 13

  I count to over two hundred before I hear the roar of Ethan’s bike fade down the street. I pick up my phone and send a text to Lauren. What are you talking about?

  I’ve decided I need to know more before I can work out how I’m going to act in the morning. If this was a one night stand I wouldn’t have to deal with seeing him again, but I just slept with my roommate. My very hot, extremely skilled, potential to shatter me into more pieces than I can ever put together again, roommate.

  Dammit. Why didn’t I take Lauren’s advice to not give in to temptation?

  She calls back immediately. “You will never guess who I ran into.”

  “Elvis?”

  I know she’s shaking her head. “I was
out to dinner with Michael. He took me to Sails.”

  “Nice.”

  “I know, right? Guess who poured me a glass of wine? Right at our goddamn table.” Her voice is so breathless and high pitched at the same time that I’m sure she’ll burst if she doesn’t spill whatever news she has.

  Since I don’t know any waiters or barmen, my first thoughts go to one of her ex’s. I was wrong. “Danny!” She cries triumphantly.

  “What? Danny?” What is Danny doing pouring wine? I try to wrap my head around it. “What has this got to do with sleeping with my roommate?”

  There is a long pause. “Oh shit, you’ve already slept with him.”

  I don’t acknowledge it, even though by not denying it, it’s as good as a confession. I realize now that the message she sent through earlier, warning me away from sleeping with Ethan was only because she’d run into my ex, and nothing at all to do with Ethan himself. That made me feel much more confident that I didn’t make a wrong choice. “Did he say anything to you?”

  “Yes,” she gushes. “He asked after you. He wanted to know if you were happy or not. He actually said that. Is she happy?”

  Probably feeling bad because he was too wrapped up in his own head to make me happy himself. “So?”

  “So?” she repeats. “I thought you’d be more interested in that.”

  I’m surprised that I don’t have a bigger reaction too. “I don’t care what he does anymore.”

  “Because Ethan’s cock has clouded your mind and you’re not thinking straight.” She seems annoyed with me although I don’t know why. She knew how Danny treated me toward the end of our relationship. Wasn’t she the one telling me to get back into the dating pool?

  “I’m thinking just fine.”

  “Where is he?”

  “Where’s who?”

  “Ethan Collier. Is he there with you now? Are you twirling your fingers through his chest hair?”

  I nearly burst out laughing. “He doesn’t have chest hair. And no, he’s out.”