Lydia released a shaky breath and turned to face Elizabeth, though her gaze remained on the floor. “I…turned in your paper as my own,” she said. “And turned in another for you.”
Elizabeth’s skin went hot. “What?”
“I… A guy I really liked wanted to go away with me. Badly. And I was so into him. He told me he’d find someone else to take if I wasn’t free.” Lydia paused to gulp for air, her tears falling faster now. “And I hadn’t written my final. When you gave me yours, I… I changed the name and sent it to Professor Greenfield. I thought I’d have time to write one for you but I wasn’t sure, and you’re so smart. I couldn’t take a hit to my grade but I thought you could and it’d be okay.”
Elizabeth forced herself to breathe, curling her hands into fists as hard tremors seized control of her body. The last vestiges of fear had died completely, evolving into a hot, mad rage. “What the fuck, Lydia! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Lydia released a wail and buried her face in her hands. “I’m so sorry, Lizzie. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
“What did you think was going to happen?” she snapped. “I can’t believe this. Of all the idiotic—”
Dean Carrington held up a hand. “That’s enough, Ms. Bennet.”
“Is it?” she demanded. “Did you hear what she said?”
“I have two perfectly working ears, so yes, I did hear. Furthermore, I have her account of what happened right here.” The dean waved to the paper on her desk. “I understand you’re angry and god knows you have every right to be, but this is not the place to unleash that anger. Ms. Gardiner, please continue.”
Lydia parted her lips, a desperate sort of cry sounding between them. “I’m not a good writer,” she said, eyes brimming with tears. “Or a good student. I…I tried to write a paper for Elizabeth but I knew it wouldn’t sound right. The guy I was with told me I might look online and see if I could find something there. So I did. I copied and pasted a bunch of stuff from articles I found and turned that in.” She hesitated, then looked at Elizabeth directly. “I promise I didn’t mean for this to happen. Any of it. I just couldn’t fail and you’re so smart. I didn’t know you could get in trouble for this.”
“Really?” she snapped. “You didn’t know that academic institutions look down on plagiarism?”
Lydia shook her head, her face a mess. “I’m not smart, Lizzie. Not like you and Jane. My parents wanted me to come here because they did. I didn’t even want to go to college.”
“That is the laziest excuse I ever—”
Dean Carrington again held up a hand. “I understand you two might have some more talking to do,” she said, rising to her feet, “but this is not the place. Ms. Bennet, you are free to go. Suffice it to say, you are not being expelled today. Professor Greenfield will ensure that your semester grade is adjusted to reflect the work you did.”
And just like that, it was over. Elizabeth stood in place for what felt like forever, flexing her numb fingers to get circulation going. She looked from her professor to the dean, then to Lydia, who was on the verge of a full-on ugly cry.
It seemed impossible that she could turn and walk out, but when she moved to do just that, no one stopped her. No one followed her, either. When she reached the door, the dean asked her to make sure she closed it behind her, and then her legs were carrying her back through the maze of hallways and to the sitting area where she’d come in.
It wasn’t until she was outside the building itself that she released the tension that had kept her fueled the past couple days. At once, she felt boneless, not to mention exhausted. Her mind, however, refused to slow down, and every few seconds her heart gave a jump as though it had yet to receive the memo that the threat was behind them.
Elizabeth inhaled and turned her face to the sky, forcing her muscles to relax.
She wasn’t going anywhere.
“Elizabeth.”
For a wild moment, she wondered if she’d conjured his voice from sheer want. Now that the crisis was behind her, the need to see Will was surging its way back to the forefront. But then the voice came again, prompting her to open her eyes.
And Will was there. Right in front of her, looking as tired as she felt and then some, but favoring her with the smile she’d come to cherish.
“What are you doing here?”
The smile faltered just a hair. “Just here to drop off next semester’s payment,” he said, holding up an envelope she hadn’t noticed before. “Georgiana hasn’t attended a group meeting in person in quite a while, and I thought she might like to before she has to worry about going back to school. There’s one in Hertfordshire, not too far from here. I’m running errands until I pick her up.”
Elizabeth nodded. “I didn’t mean to sound… I just wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“Hope it’s not an unpleasant surprise.”
“What? No, of course not. It’s…”
It was just that she had barely processed what had happened in the dean’s office and now she was feet away from the man she knew she loved, and there were no obstacles keeping them apart. Except they were on campus now, and campus meant the real world, not the happy privacy afforded at his home. That place seemed so far away. Had she been at Pemberley, she would have launched herself at him by now. But they weren’t at Pemberley, and the rules here hadn’t been laid out.
Elizabeth shook her head to clear it. “I haven’t been expelled.”
He relaxed and gave her a small grin. “I never thought you would be.”
Well, that was…unenthusiastic. She swallowed and tried again. “Are you going home tonight then?”
“I think we’ll stay,” Will said, his tone cautious. “Georgiana is thinking of studying here next year, so I thought I might show her around campus. Take advantage of Netherfield being empty.”
“No Charlie or Caroline.”
“Charlie came with me, actually, but Caroline stayed behind.”
“So when you say Netherfield is empty…”
“Right. Well, would you believe she makes it feel crowded?”
“In a heartbeat.”
Will chuckled, shifting his gaze to the building behind her, then edged a step nearer. “See you later?”
“Oh.” Her heart dropped and she stepped aside, though there really wasn’t a need. “Of course. I won’t keep you—”
“No, I mean I’d like to see you later.” He smiled again, his just for her smile, before looking down. “At Netherfield?”
A fresh stab of adrenaline surged through her. “You want to see me?”
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“No. I mean… It’s weird, isn’t it? Being here?”
“I was hoping we could talk about that.” Will stepped back before she could reply and held up the envelope in his hand. “I need to take care of this. Will you come over?”
“Yes. Just text me.”
“Will do.” Another step back. Will broke his gaze away from hers and offered a sheepish wave. “See you tonight, then.”
“Yeah. See you.”
She thought he might kiss her, but he didn’t. She didn’t know whether or not she should read anything into that.
She hoped not, because seeing him again had cinched it. Like it or not, Elizabeth was in love with Will Darcy. A big, sopping messy kind of love that scared the shit out of her, but not half as much as the thought that his feelings had changed.
She had the whole day ahead of her to worry.
42
She had only just entered her dorm room when Jane pounced on her.
“Well?”
Elizabeth blinked at her friend, then snorted. “Have you been just sitting there staring at the door?”
“Yes,” Jane replied unapologetically, her eyes wide and her face pale. “What happened? How did it go?”
Elizabeth sighed and closed the door behind her. “I am sorry to say that you are stuck with me for another semester.”
The next thing she knew, she
had been tackled. Jane had her captured in a rib-cracking hug. “I knew it,” she whispered, squeezing. “I knew it.”
“Yes, you clearly weren’t worried at all,” Elizabeth replied, but softened and sank into her friend’s arms. “Thank you for being here.”
“Like there was anywhere else I’d be.” Jane sniffed and pulled back, her lips trembling. And in spite of herself, Elizabeth felt her body warm all over. There were few people in the world like Jane—people who loved with everything they were, stood by their friends in times of need no matter what, and were still unafraid to speak the harsh truths when necessary.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Jane asked, taking a step back and dragging her hand under her eyes. “Or is it confidential?”
“Why would it be confidential?”
“I don’t know—I was trying to be polite in case you didn’t want to talk about it.”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “There is nothing I don’t tell you.”
“Two words: Will Darcy.”
Well, she had her there. Elizabeth sighed and ran a hand through her hair, moving to her bed, where she hoped to spend the rest of the day following this conversation. Her adrenaline high was on the fast track to crashing, and her body suddenly craved sleep in a way it hadn’t since before Christmas.
“It was Lydia,” she said, sitting.
“What was Lydia?”
“Everything, apparently.” And she explained the facts as she understood them, the sparks of anger flaring once more. Lydia had always been a bit of a flake, but Elizabeth had never once thought her capable of doing something so stupid. And for what it had nearly cost her, she wasn’t sure she’d ever be in a place to forgive her.
“I can’t believe that,” Jane said, looking thunderstruck. “What in the world was she thinking?”
“She wasn’t. That’s the nearest I can figure.”
Jane pursed her lips, her brow furrowing. “And she was just…there when you showed up?”
“Yeah.”
“How did she know about the meeting?”
“Maybe Greenfield got a hold of her.”
“After she spent days ignoring texts and calls from me and Kitty? Why would she answer for a professor and not for us?”
“Jane, the girl turned in my paper as hers and submitted a piece of shit under my name. How am I supposed to know how that brain of hers works?”
“I just think it’s weird, is all. And timely. You have this meeting set with the dean and Lydia just happens to be there with a statement ready?”
Elizabeth’s frown deepened. Yeah, put like that, it was a little weird—a serendipitous kind of weird, but weird all the same. Maybe it would make more sense once she had a little sleep behind her. “I don’t know,” she said at last. “If I can keep from strangling her long enough when I see her again, I’ll be sure to ask.”
Jane released a long breath. “I know this won’t be easy, but…go easy on her.”
Elizabeth barked an incredulous laugh.
“I mean it.”
She laughed again.
“Look, what Lydia did was awful, but she didn’t have to own up to it. Do you have any idea how difficult that must have been for her?”
“I’m trying really hard to give a damn.”
“I’m serious,” Jane said, crashing onto her own bed. “Lydia has never been the kind of person to think things through. And no matter how awful what she did was—and I’m not saying it wasn’t—I don’t think she acted with malicious intent. She might be a little oblivious, but she’s not mean.”
“Honestly, I think that might be worse.”
“What?”
“Her general lack of awareness of how other people are affected by her actions,” Elizabeth replied. “Mean people at least know what they’re doing and why. Lydia just…didn’t think. And I was almost expelled because of it.”
“Almost,” Jane agreed. “But you weren’t.”
“Because she grew a conscience at the eleventh hour.”
“But she didn’t have to do that.”
“I’m not going to give her points for being a decent human being after being a pretty damn bad one.”
Jane studied her, then broke away with a long sigh. Thankfully, when she spoke again, it was to change the subject. “You probably are wanting to take a nap, huh?”
“What gave it away?”
“The fact that you can barely keep your eyes open. Also, you get super cranky when you’re tired.”
Elizabeth scowled. “I don’t think it’s cranky to be pissed about nearly getting booted from college.”
“I know.” Though it looked like she wanted to say more on the subject, she apparently thought the better of it. “I’ll leave you with the room, then. Get some shut-eye.”
No need to tell her twice. Elizabeth crashed back onto the mattress and closed her eyes. “What are you going to do?”
“Charlie texted me. Again.”
She cracked one eye open. “Oh?”
“He’s back on campus. Came with Will Darcy.” Jane gave Elizabeth a pointed look, but when she didn’t take the bait, continued, “He wants to talk and I… Well, I know the smart thing to do would be to ignore him, but…”
“But you miss him.”
“Yeah.”
Elizabeth offered a smile. “He did a dumb thing, letting you get away.”
“Yes, he did.” Jane rose to her feet. “But I think I owe it to myself just to give him the opportunity to grovel, don’t you think?”
“Absolutely. Are you going to Netherfield, then?”
“No. I told him to meet me at the Meryton Mudhouse. Neutral territory.”
Elizabeth nodded. “Smart move.”
“I learn only from the best.”
“Just be prepared—that boy’s nuts about you.”
“I’m not taking him back. This is just closure.”
“Right. So when you guys get married, I so get dibs on maid of honor.”
Jane wrinkled her nose, but her eyes sparked with something that Elizabeth hadn’t seen in a while. “You’re obviously exhausted. Speaking nonsense. Get some rest.”
“At least make him sweat a little before you take him back.”
Jane released another long sigh but didn’t argue. Which was just as well, as Elizabeth was losing touch with consciousness. The last thing she heard was the door snicking shut, then everything around her dissolved into a blissful sea of nothing.
* * *
Elizabeth didn’t know how long she slept, but it wasn’t enough. Moaning, she twisted onto her side and cracked an eye open. Long shadows were cast along the floor, telling her the sun was well on its way down, which meant it was nearly time for her to make the now familiar trek across campus to see Will.
That thought was enough to wake her up. Elizabeth pressed her face into her pillow and yawned, stretching her arms and legs as best she could. Then the air split with a knock and her heart made a mad leap for freedom.
“Who is it?”
There was a pause. “Lizzie, I know I’m the last person you want to see, but I really need to talk to you.”
Elizabeth dragged in a deep breath, her muscles tensing. She wasn’t sure yet if she had the patience for Lydia. The burn of anger had yet to fade, even if her sleep-drunk mind kept it from flaring as hot as before. She wasn’t ready to forgive and forget, but she also knew herself well enough to grant that if Lydia gave her the time and fuel, she’d simmer to an explosion. And while yelling at her suitemate might feel good in the moment, it wouldn’t accomplish much in the end.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now,” she decided.
“Please. I won’t take long.”
“Look,” Elizabeth said, throwing her legs over the side of her bed and forcing herself to her feet, “I know you didn’t mean for anything bad to happen, but what you did—”
“Please, it will only take a minute.”
She hesitated, her shoulders dropping. If the pas
t few months had taught her anything, it was that Lydia was nothing if not persistent. She made her way across the room and unlocked the door.
“If I yell at you, it’s not my fault,” she warned.
Lydia was a mess, even more so than she had been in the dean’s office. Her hair, which had been pulled into a loose braid, looked like it was staging a coup against her head. Her eyes were puffier than before, swollen and pink, and despite everything, Elizabeth felt something inside her twist with sympathy.
Whatever else, Lydia hadn’t intended to harm anyone. She hadn’t acted out of spite, rather fear, and though that did not excuse what she’d done, it made it easier for Elizabeth to welcome her into her room.
“Lizzie,” Lydia said once she was over the threshold, sniffling and wiping at her abused eyes. “Lizzie, I am so, so sorry for all this.”
“I know,” Elizabeth replied, deflating. “I just don’t know what you were thinking.”
“I wasn’t.” She exhaled. “And I know this will make you hate me even more, but the guy I was with… It was Wickham.”
“I knew that already.”
“You did?”
“Kitty told Jane, who told me.”
Lydia said nothing for a few seconds, just stared at her, searching. “I thought you’d be mad about that.”
“Because of what he said about me?”
“Well, yeah.”
That was a larger issue she didn’t particularly care to explore at the moment, involving things that Lydia was in no mood to hear and might not understand. But yes, it did hurt that anyone who knew her would have entertained Wickham at all following the crap he’d spread around campus—that anyone could overlook this behavior or find him attractive in spite of it. That Lydia would devalue herself to such a level that she’d be taken in by a guy like Wickham. He’d already proven himself to be a misogynist in word and deed.
Perhaps whatever had happened to Lydia over the past few days would open her eyes, or at least enable her to believe she was worth more than a piece of human garbage like Wickham.
“You are mad,” Lydia whispered, her eyes flooding with tears again.
“Well, I’m not doing cartwheels,” Elizabeth muttered. “Look… Whatever happened happened, and we can’t undo that. But I know confessing what you did was not easy for you, so I appreciate you doing it. In the future, though, if you run off with a guy who’s proven to be a creep to at least one of your friends, make sure you answer the phone when people try to call. Kitty was beside herself and so was Jane.”
A Higher Education Page 45