Lydia nodded weakly. “I just didn’t know what to say to them. I…” She swallowed. “He made me believe him. I was so dumb to do it.”
“That I wouldn’t get in trouble?”
“Well, that, yes. But…” She sniffed and wiped at her eyes again. “If it weren’t for your boyfriend, I’d be dead.”
That sentence made zero sense. “Huh?”
“Will Darcy’s your boyfriend, isn’t he?”
Elizabeth’s pulse began to race. “What about Will?”
Lydia shuffled her feet, looking even less comfortable than she had when Elizabeth had invited her inside. “He told me not to say anything. Made me promise, actually, but he’s a good guy, Will. And I feel like you ought to know you’re dating someone who’s not a complete dipshit now.”
“Lydia, what does Will have to do with any of this?”
“He…he found me in Atlantic City.”
Elizabeth’s legs began to shake. “He…found you. In Atlantic City.”
“Wickham had convinced me that he could…” Lydia looked away, and the light from the setting sun hit her face hard, bringing the tear tracks on her cheeks into sharp relief. “I gave him everything in my bank account. All of it. My student loan money. And he lost nearly everything.”
Oh holy Jesus. “Shit, Lydia…”
“That’s why I didn’t pick up the phone. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I was a complete wreck.” She met Elizabeth’s gaze again, smiling through a mess of tears. “Your boyfriend bailed me out. But he only agreed to do it if I came back and told Professor Greenfield what happened with your paper. And that’s what I came here to tell you—that guy’s a good guy. And he’s nuts about you. I don’t know anyone who would have paid what Will paid. A-and he made a contribution to Meryton on the terms that they wouldn’t expel me. I’m in probation but thanks to him, I’m still a student.” Lydia released a long, shaky breath. “And he did make me promise not to tell you any of this, but the guy deserves at least a really good blowjob for everything he did and I don’t think he wants me to be the one giving it.”
Elizabeth wasn’t aware she’d moved until the backs of her legs collided with her mattress. She collapsed without fight, breathing hard, her mind racing and her chest aching with a sensation too raw to be given a name. She tried to think but couldn’t—the thoughts were disjointed, in competition with a tidal wave of emotion that would drown her if she sat still. Her skin itself seemed to riot, numb and tingling and feverish.
The fears and doubts she’d entertained since leaving Pemberley vanished in a blink, leaving behind nothing but the desperate need to see Will. Touch Will. Be with Will.
“Fuck,” she breathed at last. “Holy…fuck.”
“Don’t tell him I told you,” Lydia said. “He made me promise.”
There was no way Elizabeth could pretend she didn’t know this. No way.
“I have to go see him,” she said, pushing to her feet again. “Right now.”
“Lizzie, please—”
“Will won’t be angry with you,” she said, stuffing her feet into the shoes she’d kicked off earlier. “I’ll make sure.”
“But—”
“Thank you for telling me.” She threw on a hoodie, then lunged into Lydia’s arms for a quick hug. “Thank you.”
And before Lydia could get out another word, Elizabeth was halfway down the hall, her nerves about ready to riot. A thousand words began flooding her mind, vying for attention, but she couldn’t think of what she’d say right now. She could barely think at all.
Will loved her.
And it was time he knew she loved him back.
43
By the time she stood outside Will’s dorm room, Elizabeth had worked out a way to bring up the whole Lydia thing in a way that wasn’t direct or confrontational. After all, he’d asked to see her, which meant he had something specific he wanted to talk about, and it only seemed fair to let him set the pace of the conversation, especially considering how much of their relationship up until this point had been dictated by her.
Yet the second he opened the door, all good intentions flew out the window.
“Is it true?” Elizabeth blurted, panting. She knew the answer, but she needed to hear him say it.
Will studied her for a moment, his eyes uncertain. But he didn’t play dumb or ask her to clarify. Instead, he released a long breath and nodded. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Why?” he repeated, taking a step forward. His familiar scent invaded her senses—soap and aftershave and home. “You have to know why.”
She swallowed. “Tell me anyway.”
“The last time I told you, you didn’t seem too happy.”
“Things have changed.”
“Have they?”
Elizabeth stared at him, barely daring to move. She wanted to be over this part and to the next, but there were things she needed to say—things he needed to hear—before she officially waved the white flag. The fine print that came with being with Elizabeth Bennet. “I don’t trust things like this, Will. And I don’t like it when other people fight my battles for me.”
“I don’t like it when I learn that someone has taken advantage of someone I love,” he replied. “And if you’re looking for me to say I’m sorry, well, I won’t because I’m not.”
“All that money…”
“I would have given more.” Will broke his gaze from hers and tore a hand through his hair, mussing it in the way she loved most. “This is why I told Lydia to keep her mouth shut. I knew it would look like I was trying to buy you, or rescue you, and I know you’re the last person in the world that needs to be rescued and that you can’t be bought. I know that because those are two of the reasons why I love you, but if you ask me to watch from the sidelines while you get railroaded for something you didn’t do when I have the resources to fix it? Elizabeth, I’m damn well going to exhaust every one of those resources. I made a phone call. I got on a plane. I wrote a check. Three very simple things that I could do because I’m a Darcy. And no matter what happens… Even if you walk away now, I will never not think it was the right thing to do.”
Elizabeth blinked. “I… I think I can live with that.”
“You can?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
Will seized her by her upper arms and pulled her to him, his mouth finding hers. And every nerve in her body burst, her muscles going slack with relief. It was a fight just to keep upright, and she didn’t care if she won or not because he was there to catch her. Elizabeth whimpered into his mouth, throwing her arms around his neck as his hands wandered to her waist. The ground beneath her feet shifted as he began walking backward, taking her with him for every fumbling step. The next thing she knew, she was pressed against the mattress, Will over her, above her, cradled between the valley of her thighs and kissing her like she was the elixir of life itself.
“The door,” she murmured between kisses. Her hands were several steps ahead of her, already busy dragging his shirt over his head.
“It’s closed,” he replied, slipping his hand beneath the hem of her hoodie. “And locked.”
“And Georgiana?”
“Knew you were coming and will not be knocking anytime soon.” He dragged her hoodie over her head and tossed it blindly across the room. “And just for the record, I’ve said it twice.”
“Huh?”
“I love you.” He offered her a soft smile, skating his fingers over her stomach, between her breasts, and up her neck until he had her cheek cradled against his palm. “And it’s okay if you don’t love me. Now, at least. All you need to do is tell me that you want to be here. That this is what you want.”
Elizabeth was still a long moment, her brain bombarding her with things she wanted to say in a mad jumble, none of which she trusted herself to vocalize. She must have been quiet too long, because the smile on Will’s face faded and he pulled back, taking all his wonderful warmth with him.
S
he groaned inwardly, cursing herself. The words were there—they wanted out—but she was struck with the knowledge that once she spoke them, there would be no turning back. And as wonderful as love was, it was also terrifying. It had nearly killed her mother, and her father had never meant to mold it into a weapon.
But Will…
“I’m sorry,” she said hoarsely, sitting up.
“Don’t be. If this isn’t what you want—”
“It is. But I’m kinda freaked out.”
He frowned.
“You know I didn’t want a relationship. Ever,” she said. “Not a real one. I guess I hadn’t ruled out being with someone long-term, but…I always just thought I’d keep the feelings part separate. I don’t trust people easily, and trust is kind of a big part of loving someone.”
Will held up a hand, understanding warming his eyes. “You don’t have to tell me anything—”
“No, I do. I want to. This, at least.” She forced a smile before dropping her gaze to a space on the bed between them. “I didn’t want a relationship because my expectations are too high, and I didn’t think I could live with being let down. The best man in my life crushed me when he left my mother and I don’t think he knows that. Because not only was he lying to her—he was lying to me. He made me rethink everything about my childhood and he did it to protect me. He stayed with her so I’d have that childhood, and even now he still doesn’t see that he took it away from me the second he left. Perfect memories become less perfect when you know the truth, you know? And if my dad could do that, what could someone who wasn’t biologically programmed to love me do?”
Will didn’t reply, and when she looked up, his face betrayed nothing.
“I didn’t think I could ever trust anyone to not do that again,” she said, forcing herself to maintain eye contact. “A part of me still doesn’t and probably never will. Perfect doesn’t exist, so what’s the use in trying? I figured if I met someone I liked enough…well, maybe we’d do the monogamy thing, but long-term? Marriage? Kids? All things I didn’t want. I still don’t know if I do.”
Will released a long breath, trembling. Still, he didn’t speak.
“The point I’m trying to make here is that…that was who I was when I came here. Meeting you…changed that about me, so slowly I didn’t even really notice until… Well, right now. And that scares me shitless.”
There was nothing for a long beat. She’d run out of things to say, except the one thing she still needed to say. But that was a line she couldn’t uncross once it was behind her. That she felt it was terrifying enough—handing him the sort of power that had almost destroyed her mother took more faith than she thought she had.
But dammit, he deserved to know. And she wanted him to. He’d given so much without asking for anything in return.
The clouds fogging her mind parted and she forced herself to forge ahead. “I think what scares me the most is I’ve already done pretty much everything I think I can do to push you away. But you still…do this thing for me. You still love me after all of it.”
Will cracked a small grin, and that was enough for her. “If it makes you feel any better, I wasn’t wild about it at the time.”
“Is it weird that that does make me feel better?”
“I don’t think so.” A pause. “I told you before that I didn’t come here looking for anything but a degree. I think part of me felt the same as you, to tell you the truth, except that anyone who would want me would be in it for the money.”
“Because women are just like that or because the money is all you have to offer?”
“Either, neither, both. I don’t know. How could I tell?”
“Talking helps.”
“Yes, and as we all know, everyone is always completely honest.” Will turned and pressed his back to the wall, keeping his gaze on her. “I figured that my life would be pretty boring, apart from Georgiana. I’d get my degree and officially take over my father’s company. That was my plan. You railroaded my plan.”
“I really didn’t mean to.”
“I know.” He rose up on his knees, edging closer. “But here we are. Despite trying really hard not to, I love you. You crawled inside me that first night, I think, and I am done fighting this. Whatever part of you I can get, I’ll take, and I’ll be happy for it. If you can’t say it now or ever, that’s okay. I just want the chance.” He paused, a heartbeat away, his attention shifting to her neckline. “But if you do ever say it,” he said, running a hand along the collar of her tee, grinning, “I’ll know it’s real. Because Elizabeth Bennet doesn’t say anything she doesn’t mean. Ever. You are the most honest person I’ve ever met.”
She released a shaky breath, unable to pull her eyes from his.
His lips quirked into a grin. “Which, I should add, is pretty damn hot.”
“It is?”
“Mhmm…” He dropped a kiss on the corner of her mouth, sliding his hands down her sides until he had the material of her tee captured in his fists. “Sexy as hell.”
“Will…” Elizabeth tilted her head back, blinking at the ceiling.
“Mmm?”
“I do.”
His mouth had wandered farther south and was currently occupied with the exposed flesh of her neck. “Do what?”
“I love you too.”
He froze, released a shaky breath that sent a wave of shivers across her skin. Then he pulled back to study her eyes, his own burning. For a moment, she thought he’d ask her to say it again, but he didn’t. Instead, he just looked at her and she looked back.
Whatever happened from here happened on new terms.
At last, a wide, silly grin broke across Will’s face. He captured her cheeks between his hands again and dragged her mouth to meet his. “I knew it,” he whispered against her lips. “I knew it.”
“Did you?”
“No, but I really hoped so.” Will swallowed her response with the sweetest kiss she’d ever known. He devoured and completed her in the same stroke, his hands framing her face, his thumbs caressing her cheeks with small, loving circles as his tongue slipped between her lips. And finally, Elizabeth collided headfirst with complete and total understanding. Will was kissing her as he never had before—loving her without words.
This was everything. The feel of him against her. The small moans that rumbled through him. The way his kisses grew fevered while maintaining the softness that told her in no uncertain terms how much he loved her.
So she told him again, because why the hell not?
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” he murmured. “No matter how much you infuriate me.”
“Good,” she replied. “’Cause I don’t think that’s gonna stop.”
Will grinned. “God, I hope not.”
“You’re a glutton for punishment.”
“Mmm, guess that’s true. I do like it when you punish me.” He pulled away long enough to whip her shirt over her head—at last—and tear her jeans down her legs. Then they wrestled for a few seconds with getting Will’s pants out of the way. By the time he was above her, smiling into her eyes as his cock nudged her sex, Elizabeth was riding a high unlike any other.
Love didn’t have to be scary, and it wasn’t. With him, it was perfect.
“We still get to fight, don’t we?” she asked as he began to push his way inside her.
“Better fucking believe it,” he agreed before nipping at her lips.
“Good…’cause you’re wrong a lot of the time.”
“Am I?”
“Uh huh.”
Will grinned and kissed her. “By my count, I’ve been right about pretty much everything up until now.”
“Th-that’s because I wasn’t really trying.”
“Been holding back on me?”
Elizabeth rolled her hips to recapture him as he began to slip away. “I didn’t think you could take it.”
“I can take anything you can dish, Bennet.”
“Famous last words.” Eliz
abeth shoved him back with enough force to surprise him, and by the time he realized her intent, he was already beneath her, watching hungrily as his cock disappeared inside her.
“Are you ready?” she asked. “’Cause this is when I stop holding back.”
He snickered and a spark of heat shot through her veins. But there was something else—a sensation she didn’t recognize at first bubbling in the pit of her stomach. It was warm and sweet, filled with promise that seemed downright foreign.
And then she knew—she was happy.
Will dragged his gaze back up the length of her body. The wealth of what she saw there made her fall in love with him all over again. “Bring it.”
So she did.
Epilogue
Three years after graduation
Will could appreciate the appeal of the small cottage, even if he did feel like he was on top of everyone else. But the venue had been the bride’s only ask in the whole ceremony. Since the bride should always get what she wanted, no one had tried to talk her out of it.
The home had apparently been in the family for years, from its humble beginnings as a one-room dwelling. Every subsequent generation had put their own stamp on it, making it a patchwork quilt of a house—homey in every sense of the word, but in an oddly charming, mismatched sort of way. The bride’s parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents had been married in the living room. Today, in less than an hour, she would follow in their footsteps.
“I thought those things were supposed to be hideous,” Will drawled, dragging his gaze down the rosy fabric that made up the maid of honor’s dress. It was form-fitting without being snug, revealed enough skin to tantalize but not scandalize. He couldn’t wait to get her out of it after the ceremony.
A Higher Education Page 46