I took my hat off and pushed my hand through my hair then put my hat back on. “I’ve been with Julia for what almost four years now? And don’t laugh at what I’m about to say,” I raised one eyebrow at her and she nodded for me to continue. “In that amount of time, I’ve never kissed her and felt it throughout my entire body. I’ve never held Julia’s hand and felt an instant connection. I’ve never had my body fill with jealousy when Julia talks to another guy either. So…you tell me what the fuck I’m feeling.” I finished.
Vidalia sat there in thought for a minute or so, “I don’t think it can work between you and Tabitha, Vance. Not with Dad and Claire being engaged now. At some point they’re going to find out, I can’t imagine that it’ll be very good when they do.”
I nodded my head, “I know. So are you pissed at me too?” I asked.
Vi shrugged her shoulders, “Not so much pissed as much as I am confused, but I’m here for you no matter what. I just don’t want to hear any raunchy details about your sex life.” She said with a laugh.
“I’m done having sex. It gets me in trouble, if you were smart you’d wait until you’re married.” I joked.
“Yeah, about that…” Vi’s face turned bright red.
“Let me guess, you and Drake hooked up?”
She nodded her head and started to get out of the pickup, “I’m not sharing details with you, you’re not going to kick his ass, and you’re not going to tell dad.” She slammed the pickup door and went inside.
I went inside and straight to my room, I walked into the bathroom and stared at my face in the mirror. I could tell I was going to have a black eye for a while, I washed my face to get the dried blood off my lip then went and laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. My cell phone dinged with text message after text message, when I finally checked them they were all from Tyler and Corbin. Both asking the same question,
I sat on the edge of my bed and stared at my phone, I wasn’t going to explain everything to them over a text message and quite honestly I just wanted some time to think about everything.
When I went down to the kitchen, dad was talking on his phone as he came out of his office. He looked at me and smiled then did a double take and told the person he was talking to that he would call them back. “Vance, why does it look like you got used as a punching bag?” he asked.
I shrugged a shoulder, “Because I did, I got what I deserved.” I told him.
“Do you suppose maybe you can elaborate just a little? I didn’t get a call from the principal that you were involved in a fight.”
I looked at him and could see nothing but confusion and concern on his face, “I’d love to tell you but I’m afraid you’ll kill me.”
His eyes widened for a second, “If you are going to tell me that I’m going to be a grandpa…I won’t kill you. You might wish you were dead but I love you too much to kill you.” He said jokingly.
I walked out the door and sat down in a chair on the front porch, dad followed me out and leaned against the porch rail and waited for me to tell him what had happened. With my elbows resting on my knees, I stared at the boards on the porch trying to get the courage up to tell him what happened. “Did you ever cheat on mom?” I asked.
“Excuse me?” Dad’s voice rose slightly. Then he cleared his throat, “The answer is, hell no, I loved that woman so much it damn near killed me when I had to let go of her hand in the hospital after Vi was born. Why would you ask that?” He questioned.
“Because, I cheated on Julia.” I said and waited for him to process what I had just told him.
“So, THAT’S why you’ve been a moody prick lately. Does she know yet?”
“Partially, yes, it’s why I’ve been moody. She found out today,” I pointed at my face, “And so did the other girls boyfriend.”
“Jesus Christ, Vance! Didn’t I raise you better than this? Who the hell did you cheat on her with?” He asked me.
I shook my head, “I can’t tell you.”
He pulled his phone out of his pocket, “I’m sure Julia will tell me, should I call her?”
My eyes snapped up to his, “No, just leave her alone.” I rushed out.
“You have ten seconds to tell me who it was with, starting now.”
“Tabitha.” I whispered as I continued to stare at the porch.
“Come again? And fuckin’ look at me when I’m engaged in a conversation with you. The god damn porch doesn’t hold any special powers!”
“It was Tabitha.” I repeated.
“You have got to be kiddin’ me! Your own god damn step sister…umm…technically she’s not that just yet.” He shook his head, “You’ve created the mess you can fix it.” He told me. “And Tabitha can help. It’s takes two to Tango.”
“Are you going to tell Claire?” I asked.
He snorted, “I’ll leave that to you or Tabitha. If you don’t tell her in a couple of days…I will.” He stared at me for a few seconds then went inside and slammed the door shut behind him.
Rather than go back inside I decided to go start chores. It would keep my mind somewhat occupied for the next couple of hours, and I could have some time to think about how I was going to tell Claire.
Just as I was finishing up feeding the horses, my phone dinged with a text message.
I put my phone back in my pocket and started for the house, Claire pulled up and waved at me before getting out of her car. “Hey Vance! I bought stuff to make cinnamon rolls with since you liked the last batch so much.” She said with a smile. “Can you help me take the groceries inside please?” I nodded my head and tried to keep my face down or turned away from her, but Claire still managed to see the darkening bruise and cut lip. She gasped, “What happened? Are you okay?” She cupped my chin in her hand and inspected my face.
“I’m fine, just a little too rough at school today.” I told her. It wasn’t a complete lie.
“Oh, ok. I’ve heard that you teenage boys can get pretty carried away.” She said with a small laugh.
“Honey I’m home!” Claire called out when we got inside. Dad walked out of his office and smiled at her as he walked toward her.
He kissed her quickly, “I’m starvin’, your hair looks nice.” He told her.
“When aren’t you hungry? Thank you! I had to try a different cut style. Where’s Vi and Tabitha?” she asked as she put groceries away.
Dad and I gave each other a quick look, “Upstairs.” Dad told her then grabbed a bag of groceries and started putting them away.
I decided to leave them alone, so I went upstairs. As I walked past Tabitha’s room I could hear her and Vi’s muffled voices through the door.
“I can’t stay here…I just can’t. Everybody is going to hate me!” Tabitha said and sniffled.
“I’m sure if you give it some time everything will be fine. You shouldn’t leave.” Vi told her.
Tabitha cried softly, I rest my forehead against the door and closed my eyes. I wanted to go in there and hug her, dry her tears and tell her that everything would be fine.
“Can I ask you the same thing I asked Vance?” Vi asked.
“What?” Tabitha said with a sniffle.
“Do you have feelings for Vance?” Vi said.
There was a long pause, “I can’t explain it. Morgan makes me feel one way and Vance makes me feel something completely different.” She told her.
I wondered what she meant, I started to reach for the door handle but changed my mind. Instead I went to my room so I could shower and try to relax. It would be just a matter of time before Claire found out what had happened and I needed to prepare myself for the ass chewing I was going to get.
Chapter 13
I didn’t want to tell Morgan at school, but he started asking questions. Over time it was eating away at me that I had cheated on him.
“Tabitha, I love you and wish you’d tell me what’s wrong. You don’t’ smile like you use to, are you not happy in the relationship?” He asked. Tears filled my eyes, “Jesus,
Tabitha. Talk to me—please.” He tried to pull me into his chest but I pulled my hands out of his.
“I’m sorry.” I said as more tears fell down my face.
“What’s goin’ on?” He tipped my chin up with his finger. The worried look in his eyes broke my heart even more. Morgan wiped tears from my cheeks but more fell in their path.
“I cheated on you,” my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest and my stomach churned. “I’m so sorry.” I cried.
“What?” He questioned. “Who the fuck with?” Morgan’s voice grew louder.
“Vance…” I choked out around the growing lump in my throat. I still couldn’t look at him. “God I’m so sorry Morgan!” No matter how many times I said I was sorry, I knew that I was breaking his heart—and mine.
He took a step back like I had punched him in the stomach, “Are you fuckin’ serious, Tabitha?”
I nodded my head, unable to answer him. When I finally looked at him through my tear filled eyes, the dam inside me broke.
“When?” He asked me, his voice was shaky and filled with tension.
When I didn’t answer him, his anger snapped and the events that followed will forever be embedded in my memory.
< < < > > >
I frantically wiped the tears from my face as I drove to the farm.
“Come on Rach—pick up the phone,” I repeated into my cell phone. When her voicemail came on I pressed End waited a couple of seconds and called her again.
“Gahhh you’re persistent today!” She answered. Her voice was cheerful like always. But just hearing her made the tears start falling again. Rachel heard me sniffle, “Tabitha…what’s wrong?!”
“I’m such a horrible person…I want to come home.” I cried.
“You’re not a horrible person, are you driving? If so you need to pull over, you’re way to upset.”
I pulled into the driveway and breathed a sigh of relief to myself when no other vehicles were parked there. “I’m back at the house.” I told her.
“Tell me what in the hell is going on. I just talked to you a couple of days ago and you sounded so happy!” She said. I rested my forehead against the steering wheel and cried as I told her what had happened. When she didn’t say anything, I pulled my phone away from my ear to see if the call had disconnected but her bright smiling face still filled my screen.
“Rachel, say something…please.” I whispered.
“I…I don’t know what to say. What happened doesn’t make you a horrible person or a slut and it doesn’t make Vance a bad person either. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, I know that at the time we might not understand why and we may never know why, but it happened for a reason.” She told me.
“But I hurt Morgan and Julia! That’s not fate--it’s stupidity! I loved him…” my eyes burned with tears but I couldn’t cry anymore. I got out of the vehicle and went inside. There was a note from mom letting me know she was in town to get her hair done and to get groceries. When I got upstairs I climbed into my bed and pulled the covers over me.
“You’re not stupid, Tabitha, so stop saying that! Look at it this way, you’re young, this is another life lesson. Maybe in time Morgan and Julia will forgive you guys for doing what you did. You’ve learned a pretty hard lesson, running from it won’t make the problem go away. Although—I do think you’re long overdue to come visit me.” Rachel finished with a laugh.
“I can’t stay here, what is going to happen when Kevin finds out? I’m sure Vidalia will be so mad she’ll make my life hell at home and school. It’s just going to be too hard to stay here. None the less mom and Kevin just got engaged.” I told her.
“Schools over in like, four and a half months, do you think you can stick it out until then? Then come stay the summer with me?”
I shook my head, “I really don’t think I can. I can’t be around Vance. When word spreads about what happened, the girls at school are going to turn on me so fast. I’ll be the ‘City Slicker Slut’ I can hear it already. Maybe if I call dad he’ll convince mom to let me come back there and finish school.”
“Your mom knows?” Rachel’s voice rose in shock.
“Crap…no.” I replied.
“You’re going to have to tell her. I’d tell her before she hears it from somebody else. Maybe she’ll let you come back, the next hurdle will be telling your dad. I can’t even imagine what kind of crap that’ll start between them.”
“I know…” I was interrupted by someone lightly knocking on my door. “I’ll call you back.”
“I love you Tabitha, I’m here for you.” Rachel told me.
“I love you too.” I disconnected the call and got out of bed. I opened my bedroom door just enough that I could peek through the opening. Vidalia stood there with a half frown half sad smile on her face.
“Can I come in?” She asked softly.
“Depends…are you going to beat me up or scream at me and tell me I’m a horrible person? Because I’ve beat myself up and told myself that stuff already.” I told her.
“No,” she shook her head; “I just want to be your friend right now.” She told me.
I opened the door and walked over to my bed, with my covers pulled over my head I started to cry. The bed dipped slightly when Vidalia sat down next to me, she gently tugged the covers off of me and gave me a sad smile. “Shouldn’t you be really mad?” I asked her.
“I probably should be, part of me is, but after talking to Vance I understand things a little better. What happened isn’t right and it can’t be undone but I think that it was bound to happen…by what Vance told me.”
We sat on my bed and talked about everything, Vidalia listened while I vented about everything. “I just want to go home, I think it’s the only way anybody will ever get past this.”
Vidalia cocked her head to the side, “This is your home.”
I shook my head, “It’s your home, I’m the step sister that intruded and flipped your world upside down. Why would you want me to stay here? I’ve ruined friendships because of the bad decision to have sex with Vance. I can’t ruin the friendship you have with Julia too.”
“You’re not the only one to blame for what happened. Listen, Julia is hurting, so is Morgan, so are you and so is Vance. I want you to stay because I like you, I consider you a friend and enjoy having you around.” She finished with a smile.
“God,” I walked into the joining bathroom so I could wipe my face with a cool washcloth. “I just don’t know if I can stay. I don’t like knowing that people are hurting because of me.” When I came out of the bathroom Vidalia was typing out a text, part of me wanted to know who, but I chose not to ask.
We set there in silence for a little bit, until I heard mom announce that she was home. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you. I’m going to go find something to eat, if you need to talk some more I’ll be in my room doing homework.” Vidalia smiled and hugged me before leaving my room.
I laid on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, I closed my eyes and tried to think about what I should do. The hurt look on Morgan and Julia’s faces were all I could see, and knowing that they were hurting because of me made my heart break all over again.
< < < > > >
“Sweetie, wake up.” Mom spoke softly as she gently swiped my hair away from my face. I blinked my eyes a few times before looking at her. “Are you not feeling good?” she asked.
I sat up on my bed and rested my back against the headboard. “I…I need to tell you something.”
She smiled sweetly, “Okay.”
I inhaled and slowly blew the heavy breath out, “Morgan and I broke up today.”
“Oh Tabitha…I’m so sorry, is it because he’ll be going away to college?”
I shook my head, no, “I cheated on him.”
The room was silent, when I looked at mom her eyes were big and she was looking at me like I had just told her that I committed a murder. “What? I mean…”
“With Vance.” I
interrupted her.
She sucked in a breath, “As in the Vance that lives here?” she pointed at the floor, “As in the Vance that is going to be your step brother when Kevin and I get married?”
“I’m so sorry mom! I feel horrible—you have no idea.” I wiped away tears that had started to trickle down my cheeks.
Mom stood up from the bed and started pacing, “You’re…sexually active? I knew that you dating an older boy was a bad idea!” She put her hand on her forehead and the other on her hip as she waited for me to answer. I nodded my head, yes, but wouldn’t look at her. “Oh my god, please tell me you at least used protection!” Her voice was getting louder. When I didn’t answer her she gasped, “Tabitha! When the hell did this happen? I don’t want details other than that.” Mom demanded. So, I told her. “I knew I couldn’t trust you kids!”
“I can’t stay here, I want to go stay with dad or Rachel.” I blurted out.
Mom took a step back, “What?! I can’t do this right now…I just can’t. I’ll call your dad and speak with him. Supper is done by the way, I made you a plate and put it in the oven.” She said before leaving my bedroom and slamming the door.
The last thing I wanted to do was eat. I wanted to find a dark hole, climb inside of it and pull a rock over the top instead.
When I went downstairs, mom and Kevin were sitting in the living room talking. I got my plate of food out of the oven and sat down at the table, I took a couple of bites and pushed the mashed potatoes and meatloaf around on my plate. Mom walked in and sat down across from me. “I’m going to call your dad.” She told me. Tears filled my eyes and my throat tightened.
“Kip, I need to discuss something with you.” Mom said.
“Okay.” My dad drew out.
“There’s been something happen between Tabitha and a couple of boys. One of them being her stepbrother that lives here with us. I think it would be best if she finishes the school year out back in New York, after everything has blown over she can come back.” Her voice cracked at the end.
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