Besieged and Betrothed

by Jenni Fletcher

  ‘It wasn’t a game.’

  ‘What?’ She felt breathless suddenly.

  ‘The reason I kissed you. It wasn’t a game. I wasn’t plotting to steal your inheritance either.’

  ‘Then why?’

  He shook his head as if he didn’t know the answer. ‘Maybe because I’ve never met anyone like you before, Juliana.’

  ‘Oh.’ She didn’t know what else to say. Was that a compliment? It was what people usually said about her, though rarely in a good way.

  ‘I just never thought, never imagined, that your father would ask me...’ He cleared his throat, pulling his fingers away again. ‘I have to go. In the meantime, if you need me, send word and I’ll do my best to come. I promise you that much. I wish it could be more.’

  She stared into his eyes. They seemed to be blazing with some emotion she couldn’t read on his face. The mask was firmly back in place again, like a wall between them, but his eyes...surely his eyes said he didn’t want to leave her either?

  ‘Take care of yourself, Juliana.’

  ‘You, too.’ She tore her gaze away finally. ‘Ride safely.’

  He turned and walked away then, leaving her staring into the empty blackness of the stairwell, wondering at how anger could turn into confusion and pain so quickly. He’d just said—implied, anyway—that he’d actually wanted to kiss her that morning, that what had happened between them hadn’t just been a game, that he really was attracted to her, and yet he was still leaving, still going back to the Empress. She didn’t know what the hollow feeling in her chest meant, but she ran across to the window anyway, watching as his horse was led round to the steps below, ready to take him back to Devizes. Surely Matilda had dozens of supporters to turn to! Whereas she... She glanced across to her father’s chamber. Soon she’d have no one. No one except a husband whose heart belonged to another woman.

  She looked down at the ruby he’d given her, admiring the vibrant shine of the jewel. Matilda’s jewel, so much like the Empress herself, exquisite, remote and magnificent. If she hadn’t recognised the hollow feeling for what it was before, she recognised it now. She’d never felt more jealous of anyone in her life.

  Chapter Twenty

  Lothar strode down the centre of Devizes’s great hall in the foulest of foul tempers. He had a ferocious headache—one that seemed to have descended the moment he’d ridden out of sight of Haword and seemed to get worse with every furlong since, accompanied by the same constricting sensation in his chest that he’d felt the last time he’d tried to leave. Riding away had been even more of a wrench than he’d expected, as if he’d actually left a part of himself behind. His usual single-minded clarity of focus was gone. Instead, he’d spent the entire journey reliving every conversation he’d ever had with his wife and regretting half of them.

  At least he’d made an attempt to patch things up with her before he left. She hadn’t made any fresh accusations, had even agreed to wear his ring without attacking him again, though she’d made no further comment on their marriage. He had no idea how he felt about their situation either. He’d meant it when he’d said that he’d never met anyone like her before, though as to why he’d said it, he had no idea. He’d only wanted to say something, to make her understand that it hadn’t all been a game, even if it wasn’t a real marriage either. He was still a blacksmith’s son and she was still a lady. Her father had chosen him because he’d known that protecting people was what he did, was what he was good at. Deeper feelings were beyond him. So why did he now feel as if he were protecting both of them? Her from both Stephen and Matilda, himself from the compelling desire to turn around and ride back the way that he’d come.

  He dragged his attention back to his surroundings. The season of Yuletide was approaching, but there was no sign of it yet here. The vast hall was less crowded than it had been in recent months and the mood was sombre. Hardly surprising given the circumstances, though he could see that Sir Guian had been busy spreading poison about him, too. Some of the faces watching him were openly antagonistic, some curious, but all kept their distance. He was too close to the Empress for anyone to dare criticise him openly, but if she fell then it wouldn’t take long for the buzzards to start circling.

  ‘Brian.’ He found a friendly face at last, that of a stocky, dark-haired man standing close to the fireplace. Brian Fitzcount was one of the Empress’s oldest supporters, a man who’d been raised by her father and one of the few she implicitly trusted. The number of those was dwindling by the day.

  ‘Lothar!’ Brian clapped a hand on his shoulder in greeting. ‘It’s good to have you back. We’ve been hearing strange rumours about you.’

  ‘Really?’ He presented his usual inscrutable façade and Brian smiled.

  ‘Don’t worry, no one gives credence to anything de Ravenell says, no matter what he thinks. The Empress will be glad to see you. You’ve heard about Robert Fitzroy?’

  ‘Yes. Where is she?’

  ‘In her private apartments.’ Brian lowered his voice. ‘See if you can get her to come out. I know she’s grieving, but people need reassurance. They need to see her.’

  ‘Haven’t you told her that?’

  ‘I’ve tried, but she doesn’t listen to anyone else the way she listens to you. The rest of us have too many vested interests. You’re the only one she trusts to have purely her interests at heart.’

  He felt a twinge of guilt at the words. A week ago that would have been true, but now...now he had a castle of his own to protect, not to mention a wife.

  He gave a terse nod and walked past the guards at the entrance to Matilda’s apartments, dropping on to one knee in the doorway.

  ‘Empress.’

  ‘Come in, Lothar.’ A tall, striking-looking woman turned from where she stood by the window, favouring him with a sad smile. She looked every inch the Empress in a fine azuline-blue gown and matching headdress, yet something about her seemed different somehow, in some subtle way he couldn’t quite put his finger on. ‘You got my message about Robert?’

  ‘Yes, my lady. Do they know what happened?’

  ‘It wasn’t Stephen’s doing. What else matters?’ She held out her hand for him to kiss. ‘He’s gone, Lothar, and I’m so tired.’

  ‘Shall I fetch your ladies?’

  ‘Not tired like that. I mean tired of all of this. This war.’ She waved a hand in the air before rounding on him accusingly. ‘I’ve been hearing rumours about you, too. Tell me what happened at Haword.’

  ‘It was just as my messenger informed you, Empress. Lady Juliana surrendered the castle without any bloodshed.’

  ‘Yet now I hear that you sent Sir Guian away. Those weren’t my orders.’

  ‘I’d heard that Stephen was on his way back into Herefordshire. I didn’t think Sir Guian capable of holding the castle against an attack.’

  ‘None the less, he was the man I chose.’ Matilda’s nostrils flared slightly. ‘You’ve never questioned my judgement before.’

  ‘I would never presume to do so, Empress, but there was another situation at Haword Sir Guian wasn’t aware of.’

  ‘Situation?’ A thin, delicately arched eyebrow drew upwards. ‘Is that what you call it? I’ve heard that she’s a very attractive young lady.’

  ‘Sir Guian seemed to think so.’

  ‘Ah.’ The eyebrow dropped again. ‘I should have remembered that weakness in you. You’ve never been able to walk away from a damsel in distress, Lothar. Even one who betrays me, apparently.’

  ‘She didn’t betray you, my lady, at least not in the way that we thought. Stephen was holding her father captive.’

  ‘William? I thought he was killed in battle?’

  ‘That’s what we were supposed to think, but he survived. He was still alive when I left, though he’s failing. Lady Juliana surrendered Haword to Stephen in orde
r to get him back.’

  ‘She made a bargain?’

  ‘Yes, my lady. She didn’t want to betray you.’

  Matilda was silent for a moment, as if considering all the ramifications of his words. ‘She must have been very convincing for Stephen to let her stay at Haword.’

  ‘She couldn’t have moved William anywhere else in his condition.’

  ‘But still, for Stephen to trust her to hold the castle...’ She frowned. ‘She’d no right to assume the position of chatelaine at all whilst her father was alive.’

  ‘I believe she had no choice. Keeping her father a secret was part of her agreement with Stephen.’

  ‘Indeed?’ Matilda looked sceptical and he felt an uneasy sense of foreboding. This was exactly the situation that Juliana had feared. He’d assured her that the Empress would understand, though now he wasn’t so sure. She didn’t seem in a particularly forgiving mood.

  ‘If she swore allegiance against her will, why didn’t she simply cede Haword to Guian once Stephen had gone?’

  ‘Because she’d sworn an oath to him. She felt honour-bound to keep it.’

  ‘Yet she surrendered to you?’

  ‘Eventually, yes, for the sake of her men.’

  ‘Or perhaps she’s just a clever woman?’

  ‘Empress?’

  Matilda’s blue gaze honed in on him thoughtfully. ‘How long have we been in England now, Lothar?’

  ‘Nine years, Empress.’ What did that have to do with Juliana?

  ‘And yet my cause has advanced hardly any further than it did in the first year. Stephen still holds most of the country.’

  ‘You’re still the rightful Queen.’

  ‘A queen without a country. Is it all worth it, I wonder?’

  He didn’t answer, hearing Juliana’s voice in his head, telling him that there had been too much violence already...

  Matilda narrowed her eyes, as if surprised by his lack of response. ‘In any case, I wonder if your Lady Juliana doesn’t have the right idea. So many of the Barons are making private treaties, with both myself and Stephen. They don’t know which of us will eventually win so they feel they have to appease us both. Maybe I ought to think about making a treaty, too.’

  He blinked in surprise. She really had changed if she were considering such a thing! ‘Surely you aren’t thinking of surrendering, my lady?’

  ‘Never.’ She gave a curt laugh. ‘England is my sons’ inheritance. I would never surrender that, but perhaps it’s time I ceded the fight to them. Henry’s a young man and eager to prove himself. He’s intelligent, too, like his grandfather, and a better military commander than Stephen’s son Eustace will ever be. Men will support him who would never countenance a woman as their leader. If Stephen would agree to let Henry succeed him as King, it would be a kind of victory for us both.’

  ‘Do you think Henry’s ready?’

  ‘He has to be. It’s what he was raised for, and, now Robert’s gone, I find I haven’t the heart for fighting any more.’ She heaved a weary-sounding sigh. ‘I want to go home, Lothar.’

  ‘Back to Anjou?’

  ‘No. Anjou is Geoffrey’s home, but thanks to him we now rule Normandy as well.’ Her lips twisted into something like, and yet unlike, a smile. ‘He’s been far more successful than I have.’

  Lothar held his tongue. That was true. Matilda’s husband had seized the entirety of Normandy in the time it had taken her to claim one small corner of England. Given the volatile state of their marriage, he knew that must rankle.

  ‘We’ll cross the Channel to Normandy as soon as the weather improves. It will be good to see my sons again.’

  He barely heard the last few words, distracted by the heavy thundering sound in his ears. We? We’ll cross the Channel...? The words seemed to be echoing in his head. But of course it was we. It had been we for almost as long as he could remember. It was only natural that she would assume he’d go with her. A week ago it would never have crossed his mind to object either, but now he felt winded, as if she’d just knocked the very air from his lungs. He couldn’t even bring himself to speak. Never in his wildest imaginings had he thought she’d do this—quit the field just as soon as he found a reason to stay.

  ‘Lothar?’ Matilda gave him a shrewd look. ‘Is something the matter?’

  ‘No, Empress, only... I thought you’d want me to stay and serve Prince Henry.’

  ‘He has plenty of other men to serve him. I won’t give up my best soldier, not even for England. You’re one of the few people I can count on.’

  The winded feeling turned into a cramped tightness. He’d been so busy thinking about Juliana on the journey that he hadn’t prepared what he was going to say about the marriage itself. Now it seemed that breaking the news was going to be even harder than he’d anticipated.

  ‘I appreciate the compliment, Empress, but there’s something else about Haword I need to tell you.’

  A look of displeasure flitted across Matilda’s face. ‘Yes?’

  ‘Before I left William asked me to protect his daughter. He was afraid of what might happen to her in the future. I couldn’t refuse him.’

  ‘Refuse what exactly?’

  He took a deep breath, as if preparing himself for battle. ‘Marriage, my lady. He asked me to marry her.’

  He thought he heard a muffled gasp. ‘And you said...?’

  ‘I agreed. We made vows to each other, then I came here to ask your permission.’

  ‘If you’ve already made vows, then it’s a little late for that, don’t you think?’

  ‘William wanted to witness the ceremony. He won’t survive much longer.’

  ‘And you took this step simply as a favour?’ Matilda’s tone became scathing. ‘If you’d wanted a castle, Lothar, you could simply have asked me.’

  He stiffened at the suggestion. ‘I didn’t do it for the castle, my lady. I did it for William.’

  ‘What about his daughter? Wasn’t she in on the scheme, too? She seems to have a gift for persuading men to do what she wants. First Stephen, then you.’

  ‘There was no scheme.’ He felt a faint stirring of temper. ‘She was against the idea.’

  ‘Yet you went ahead anyway.’ Matilda’s blue gaze sharpened. ‘Do you care for the girl then?’

  He baulked at the question. Did he care for her? It wasn’t something he’d let himself consciously consider, simply assuming that he wasn’t capable of such an emotion. But confronted with the question directly, he realised that he had been considering it. He’d done nothing but consider it all the way to Devizes. In which case, the answer was obvious—wasn’t it?

  No! His brain rebelled against the idea. He’d married her out of respect for William, not because he cared for her. He couldn’t care for her.

  ‘She’s a brave woman. I admire her.’

  ‘That’s a different question,’ Matilda snapped. ‘I asked if you care for her, Lothar, this woman who sides with Stephen against me?’

  ‘I hardly know her, Empress.’

  ‘Then tell me who you’ve left in charge back in Haword?’

  He paused for the space of a heartbeat. ‘Her.’

  There was a silence so heavy it was deafening, before Matilda gave a harsh-sounding laugh. ‘Then it’s true what they say, a woman can make a fool of any man.’

  ‘I left my soldiers there, too.’

  ‘Under her command. Do you think you can trust her not to betray me again?’

  ‘Yes, my lady.’

  ‘And if Stephen were to lead an army back into Herefordshire, what then? What if he marched up to Haword and demanded entry? Would she let him in?’

  Yes. He clenched his jaw, knowing the answer just as well as he knew what would happen if he gave it.

  ‘No.’ He lied.
‘She would not.’

  Matilda seemed to freeze for a moment, her voice dropping to a lower register. ‘You must truly care for her.’

  ‘I want to keep my word to William, Empress. I want Lady Juliana to keep her home, too.’

  ‘Her home? If you’re married to her, then it’s yours. Don’t you want to stay here and claim it?’

  He tensed, unable at that moment to frame an answer. ‘I never thought that you’d want to leave England, Empress. I didn’t think it would come to this.’

  ‘Yet it has.’

  ‘I made a vow to her, my lady.’

  ‘You made one to me first.’ Matilda’s tone was reproachful. ‘Will you abandon me now after I’ve just lost Robert?’

  ‘No.’ He ground his teeth. She was right. He had made an oath to her first. He’d made it as a boy and meant it because she’d saved him. Everything he was, he owed to her. He couldn’t abandon her now, no matter how conflicted he felt about it, no matter what his promise to William. He’d think of another way to protect Juliana—he could leave his soldiers in Haword, for a start—even if the thought of sailing away to a different country caused an ache in the place where his heart ought to be, as if it were a real beating organ and not simply a stone. Then again, it was probably for the best. His wife didn’t want to be married and he was hardly a fit husband for anyone. If he left, then Juliana could lead the life she wanted, without any man to tell her what to do...

  ‘I’ll do whatever you command, Empress.’

  ‘Good.’ Matilda gave a satisfied nod. ‘In any case, we can’t cross the Channel until the spring. You can go back and keep your word to William in the meantime.’

  ‘As you wish, Empress. What about Haword?’

  ‘You and your wife can keep it until then. After that...’ she fixed him with a look that was both a challenge and a threat at the same time ‘...you can bring her to me.’