8 Gone is the Witch

by Dana E. Donovan

  “Son-of-a...” I laughed from the nervous flutter tickling my stomach. “Did you see that? All I did was touch it.”

  “You touched it and then put your foot on it,” Carlos said.

  “Yeah.”

  “Just like Tony.”

  “That’s what I said. I touched it and it fell in.”

  “No. Listen to me. It didn’t collapse until you touched the handrails and then put your foot on it.”

  “He’s right,” said Tony. “It’s as if the damn thing doesn’t want us to cross.”

  “Yet it’s here.” I gestured across the open gulf between the cliffs. “The fact someone built this bridge in the first place must mean you can cross it.”

  “But how?”

  “Look!” Carlos pointed at the bridge. Once again, it leveled off in a graceful slope connecting one side of the gorge with the other.

  Tony muttered, “This is starting to piss me off.”

  “Aye. That is what I speak of,” said Ursula.

  I turned to her and smiled. “What did you say?”

  Carlos said, “I think she means, that’s what I’m talking about.”

  “Aye. What I speak of. Is that not the same?”

  I laughed. “Not quite. I guess it loses something in translation. See, when I said earlier––”

  “Shhh!”

  “Ex-c-uuuuse me?” I turned to Tony. “Did you just shush me?”

  He had pulled his Glock and assumed a crouched position, his aimed focused on a small cluster of fantail palms a few yards away. “Something’s there.”

  Carlos drew his weapon and fell into a similar stance. “What is it?”

  “Uh, in case you forgot, if it’s a spectersoma, guns won’t help you much,” I said.

  “I don’t know what it is, but a gun might slow it down.” He gestured toward the palms. “Carlos, I thought I heard it coming from in there.”

  “What did you hear?”

  “Don’t know. Sounded like someone giggling.”

  “Giggling?”

  “Yeah.” He waved for Ursula and me to stay back while he and Carlos closed in from both flanks.

  It was then I heard it, too, something in the palms made a noise like a stifled laugh. “There!” I said, pointing. “Look! See. It moved!”

  “Got a bead on it,” Carlos reported.

  “Aye,” said Ursula. “What beast doth hide, doth hide poorly in wake of watchful eyes.”

  Tony motioned for Carlos to hold his position while he advanced. “Whoever you are, we’ve got weapons.” He came to a stop just five feet from the bundle of broad-leaf palms. “Come out now or we’ll shoot.”

  “Wait!” a squeaky voice called out. “I no have weapon. You no hurt me. Please.”

  I could see a spear tip poking out the top of the palm cluster. “Give me a break,” I barked. “You got a spear!”

  “No. I no have spear.” Whoever it was, tossed the spear out into the clearing. “See?”

  “Well sure, now.”

  “Come out of there,” Tony ordered. “And keep your hands up where we can see them.”

  Carlos ran over and kicked the spear out of reach before retraining his weapon on the palms.

  Ursula and I eased forward for a closer look.

  The hands came up first, two small green frog-like hands with long fingers and disc-shaped pads on the tips. They rose above the fantails on toothpick arms to a height of about four feet.

  “Keep`em coming,” Tony ordered. “All the way.”

  “This all way,” said the mysterious visitor.

  “All right then, come out. Nice and easy.”

  I remember squeezing Ursula’s hand. I knew that whatever was about to emerge was not human, though its ability to speak our language proved irresistibly exciting. Meanwhile, Tony and Carlos were taking no chances. Both remained intensely focused, their fingers poised on hairpin triggers.

  Slowly, the creature emerged, morphing from the very plant it hid behind as if once a part of it, camouflaged completely in its surroundings.

  From his vantage point, Tony caught a glimpse of the creature before the rest of us did, which explained the gasp. “Holy shit!”

  I have to admit at first glance, I didn’t know whether I thought the thing was extremely cute or preposterously ugly. It was simply like nothing I had ever seen before.

  It was all green and at times partially luminescent. Its skin, if you could call it that, looked like a cross between feather and fur, though I later learned it was neither, as its entire body was actually covered in scales, the color and texture of which it could readily change––a terrestrial cuddle fish if you will.

  It stood thirty inches tall and walked on two legs, though slightly hunched, so it might have measured all of three feet when standing straight. Its arms and legs were slightly disproportionate to its body, longer and skinnier, though not malformed.

  Aside from its tail, its freakish froglike face, pinhole nostrils and stereoscopic eyes; he appeared more ape-like than human, with one obvious exception; he could talk.

  As it stepped closer, I could see it had only eight ribs, four on each side. They were pencil thin and seemed to float within its torso, giving him the ability to contort its shape like a slinky. Its feet, like its hands, were also unusually slender, with the same odd disc-shaped pads on the tips of each digit.

  Tony instructed the creature to turn around slowly, probably to make sure it wasn’t concealing any weapons. I didn’t see how that was possible, though. The thing wasn’t wearing any clothes. Still, I don’t pretend to understand police procedures. I suppose the little fucker could have had another spear tucked up his ass somewhere. A cop can’t be too sure.

  “All right,” said Tony, after the elfin runt completed its twirl. “You can put your hands down.”

  The creature lowered its hands. Ursula and I stepped closer. We could see its eyes better now, alabaster orbs with emerald pupils rotating like gyroscopes behind translucent lids. I bent down and looked into those eyes. “What are you?”

  “Whachew mean?”

  “What kind of animal are you?”

  “I driget.”

  “How is it you speak our language.”

  “I no speak you language.”

  “Yes you do. I can understand your every word.”

  “That `cause you speak Driget.”

  “It’s English.”

  “No. Driget.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Please, I have spear back?”

  “No.”

  “Want spear. Feel naked no spear.”

  “That’s because you are naked.”

  “Not point. You give spear back.”

  I gestured toward its lower extremities. “Are you a boy or a girl?”

  “Boy. Whachew think?”

  I looked at Ursula. She knew what I thought. “If you’re a boy, then where’s your ahm...”

  “What?”

  “Penis,” said Ursula. “Thou hath no penis.”

  He splayed his arms and thrust his pelvic forward. “I have penis. Is innie. Now you give spear?”

  “No!” said Tony, still holding him at gunpoint. “Tell us why you were hiding in those palms.”

  The bitty green charmer crossed his arms to his chest. “I watch you. You funny.”

  Tony gestured out into the woods. “Earlier, I heard something shadowing us. Was that you?”

  “Nooo,” he said, shaking his head. “I no shadow. I go same place you go. Travel stealthy.”

  “Stealthy eh?” Tony lowered his weapon after gauging my expression of nil concern. “Look. I guess you seem harmless enough. If you promise to stop following us, I’ll let you go.”

  I thought the elfish dweeb would turn and run at the invitation, but he didn’t. Instead, he uncrossed his arms and pressed his hands together in prayer fashion, his little suction cup fingertips steepled below his chin. “No! I go witchew. Dat why I follow.”

  Tony laughed. “I thought you
said you weren’t following us.”

  “No. I no follow. You follow me. But you quicker.”

  “I see. We’re following you, only we’re faster, so we’re ahead of you.”

  “See. So where you go?”

  Tony looked at me, shook his head and smiled. I thought the little twerp was starting to grow on him. “Where are you going?”

  “I ask first.”

  “We’re going through the forest in search of a fortress.”

  “Dark Fortress?”

  “Yes.”

  “That same where I go.”

  “Yeah sure,” said Carlos. “I don’t like it, Tony. I don’t want him following us. He creeps me out.”

  I could see Tony thinking about it, probably wondering if the runt would slow us down. He eventually agreed with Carlos, telling our visitor to leave before he changed his mind and let Carlos pitch his ass over the cliff.

  “No! I help you.”

  “How?” asked Tony.

  “I know here.” He swept his hand out over the landscape. “Danger hide all the where. I alert you.”

  “Thanks, but we’ll take our chances.”

  “The bridge,” he cried, pointing.

  Tony glanced over his shoulder at the bridge. “What about it?”

  “I know how cross. I tell you.”

  “You know how to cross that thing?”

  “Yes. Is secret. I know.”

  “Tell us.”

  He shook his head. “First you promise. You take me. I go witchew.”

  “Forget it.” Carlos walked up to the creature, pointed his gun at its head and chambered a bullet. “Let me waste him now, Tony. He’ll only be trouble to us if we take him.”

  “No, wait!” I said. I went up to Carlos, palmed his wrist and coaxed his aim toward the ground. “He could be useful.”

  “Not with his brains spread over half an acre.”

  “Carlos.” I nudged him back a step. “Put that away. We don’t need the drama.”

  I returned to our visitor, got down on one knee and looked him in the eyes. They were different now, more human-like. The whites were less milky, more solid, with dark brown irises surrounding big black pupils. In short, they were Carlos’ eyes, looking back at me with haunting familiarity.

  “Look. I know you’re not spectersoma,” I said. “You’re indigenous to this world, just like the malodytes, which means we can easily kill you.” I nodded up at Carlos. “And my friend here would like nothing better than to do just that, I assure you.”

  “Damn straight,” said Carlos.

  I ignored him. “The fact you carry a spear tells me you’re vulnerable, possibly even afraid. I think we can help each other, but I have to know you’re not going to screw us, because frankly, I don’t believe your bullshit about looking for the Dark Fortress. Nobody in their right mind would be out here looking for it.”

  He smiled, revealing a row of sharp, jagged teeth, the teeth of a carnivore. “What that say for you?”

  I took his hand and pressed my thumb to his palm, forcing a set of retractable claws to protrude from below his padded fingertips. “It says I’m not in my right mind.” I dropped his hand before the others could see what I saw. “So don’t fuck with me.”

  He folded his hands behind his back. “I no fuck you.”

  “I said fuck with me.”

  “I no fuck you.”

  “Do you even know what that word means?”

  He nodded eagerly. “Yes. I show you now?”

  “No. You don’t show me now.” I stood up, crossed my arms to my chest and looked over to the others. “I say we take it one step at a time. Let him come with us, at least until we reach the Dark Forest.”

  “Now wait a minute,” said Carlos.

  “No,” said Tony. “She’s right. He could be an asset, especially if he can help us cross that bridge.” Tony looked back over the expanse of the gorge. “There’s no telling how long it might take us to find another way across.”

  Carlos shook his head and looked away.

  “All right then. It’s done.” I turned back to our visitor. “Guess if we’re going to travel together, we should properly introduce. Do you have a name?”

  “No,” he said. “Not need name.”

  “You do if you travel with us.”

  Carlos said, “We’ll call him Joel.”

  I regarded him curiously. “Joel?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he looks like a troll.”

  “Oh, I get it. Joel the troll, eh?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Not funny.” I asked Tony, “Any suggestions.”

  “How `bout Jerome?”

  I knew he was referring to one of my little garden gnomes back at the house. “Jerome?” I said, smiling.

  “Yeah.”

  “I like,” said the little shrimp, obviously not fully appreciating the demeaning comparison.

  “You do?”

  “Jerome good name. I call you Jerome.”

  “No, Jerome. I already have a name. It’s Lilith.” I reached out and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you.” Carlos was standing closest, so I started to introduce him next. “This is––”

  “You Carlos. I know.”

  “How do you know my name?”

  “I know all name.” Jerome shook hands with Tony and Ursula. “You Tony. You Ursula. I follow all the day. Hear names. Jerome smart.”

  “Great.” I walked to the edge of the clearing and picked up Jerome’s spear. Returning it to him, I said, “Then you should also know I’m a witch.” I handed him the spear. “If you do anything stupid with this, I’ll kill you. If you double-cross us, I’ll kill you. If you so much as look at us the wrong way, I’ll––”

  “You kill me. I know. You kill my life. Scary witch.”

  “That’s right, you little shit. Scary witch will kill you. Do we have an understanding?”

  Jerome grabbed the spear and cradled it to his body. I noticed his eyes had morphed back to the gonzo alabaster swirls with whirling green orbs. His skin also changed, molting into browns and grays with specks of black, matching the ground he walked on.

  “Jerome like you,” he said, and I could see his long spiny tail whipping up the dirt behind him.

  “Yeah?” I patted him on the top of his freakishly large head. “And I like you, Jerome. At least I think I do. So don’t fuck it up.”

  Tony cleared his throat. “That’s nice. Everyone likes everyone else. I think we better get going now. Jerome, you said there’s a secret to crossing this bridge?”

  “Is big secret.”

  “Let’s hear it.”

  He walked up to the bridge. “Better I show.”

  If I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I might not have believed it. Without hesitating, he stepped onto the first sleeper. Then, with both hands clutching his spear, he ran full speed ten yards out and ten yards back. Upon returning to solid ground, he looked up at us and grinned. “See? We cross. Is no thing.”

  Carlos said, “You ran. That’s the secret. Right?”

  “No!” He shook his head. “Dat not secret. Secret is no touch rope.”

  “That’s it?” asked Tony.

  “Dat secret. Touch rope, bridge fall.”

  “That’s so simple.”

  “Simple and stupid,” said Carlos. “Who would build such a stupid bridge? Isn’t that what hand ropes are for?”

  “Maybe in the real world,” I said. “But you forget. Here in the ES, you need to expect the unexpected.” I pointed to Jerome. “You, half-pint. You’re going to lead the way. Carlos, stay behind him. Ursula and I will follow you and Tony will take up the rear. Remember everybody. Don’t touch the ropes. Y`all got it?”

  They all did. At least they all said so. Funny how soon one forgets.

  Chapter Nine

  The trek across the bridge seemed a lot further than I expected, perhaps because we were moving so slowly. You’d be surprised how difficu
lt it is to cross a rope bridge with the wind whipping, the boards swaying beneath your feet and your hands unable to touch anything.

  We were barely halfway across before I realized how fast Jerome was moving. Only ten yards separated Carlos and Tony, with Ursula and me in the middle. Yet Jerome, with his prehensile tail helping him to balance, had nearly completed the journey.

  “Carlos, pick up the pace!” I yelled, hoping he could hear me above the howling wind and the rush of water below. “I don’t want Jerome left alone on the other side!”

  It was too late, of course. Jerome finished the crossing way ahead of us. We found him waiting with one foot on the last sleeper and one hand poised inches above the hand rope.

  “Jerome?” I said. We stopped single file on the bridge with Jerome just beyond Carlos’ reach. I wiggled around Ursula and Carlos and held my hand out. “Jerome, what are you doing?”

  “I drop you,” he said. “I drop you now!”

  “Jerome. Why are you doing this?”

  “You take me. I go witchew.”

  “What do you mean? We are taking you with us. I thought we worked all that out.”

  “No. You say only Dark Forest. Dat not good. I want fortress. I go witchew.”

  “Jerome. Let us off this bridge. We’ll sit down and we’ll discuss everything.”

  “No! You promise now!” he said, stomping his foot. “You take me.”

  “For crying out loud,” said Tony. “Tell him he can come with us.”

  Carlos was clearly getting irritated with the whole thing, too. “Yeah. Come on Lilith. Get him to let us off this bridge. We’ll thank him and then we’ll beat the snot out of him.”

  “Carlos.” Tony warned. “You’re not helping.”

  “Tony, the little bastard’s got it coming.”

  “Jerome, listen to me.” I inched forward, but stopped when I saw his hand dip closer to the rope.

  “No come closer! I drop you. Is long way down. You see.”

  “I thought we had an understanding.”

  “I have understand. You take Jerome to Dark Forest. Then you no take more. I go witchew far.”

  “Right, and we also had an understanding that I would kill you if you tried anything stupid like this.”

  “Kill him now,” said Carlos. “Clobber him with a zip ball. You can do it.”