A Place at Our Table

by Amy Clipston

  Jamie held his hand out to Kayla, and she took it. “Sit.” He patted the space beside him on the gurney, and she sat. Pulling a handful of tissues from her pocket, she mopped the soot off his face and then set the tissues onto the gurney beside her.

  “I was so scared when Nathan told me you were in the haus without any gear.” Her voice broke and a sob clogged her throat. An overwhelming need to hug him came over her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his collarbone as all the raging emotions she’d kept locked up came rushing out. She breathed in his scent—smoke, soot, sweat. She basked in all that was him, and she wanted to hold on to him forever.

  “I’m so sorry for scaring you all. I had a complete lapse of judgment,” he whispered into her scarf. His voice was warm, comforting. Stronger now. “I saw the haus was on fire, and I remembered Nathan told me Amos lived alone. I reacted without thinking it through. I wanted to save him, but I forgot I couldn’t do it by myself.” He rested his chin on her head and ran his fingers over her back, sending electric pulses dancing up her spine. “I guess all the stress and lack of sleep got to me.”

  She looked up at him, and he ran a finger down her cheek, wiping away her tears. His blue eyes were warm, inviting, and they felt like home. She belonged with him.

  Suddenly, all the pieces of her heart came back together. She loved him, and she needed him in her life. “Jamie, I have to tell you—”

  “Jamie!” Dat appeared at the ambulance’s open doors with Mamm, Nathan, and Eva. “How are you?”

  “You really gave us a scare,” Nathan said. “When Noah’s radio went dead, we all thought the worse.”

  “It was Nathan’s idea to go in the side door to look for you,” Eva added as she held the now-sleeping Junior against her shoulder.

  “Really?” Jamie grinned at Nathan. “Danki. You’re a hero.”

  Nathan grinned. “You think so?”

  “Ya, I do.” Jamie coughed and put the oxygen mask back over his nose and mouth.

  Eva turned toward Mamm and Dat. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about that. I’ve been thinking about it, and I need to tell you how I feel about Nathan’s wish to become a firefighter. It’s not my place to tell you how to raise your kind, but I feel really strongly about this.”

  “What is it?” Mamm asked.

  “I think it’s time you let Nathan start training. He has the drive in him.” Eva touched Junior’s back. “He reminds me of Simeon, and you know how Simeon felt called to help people.”

  “I don’t know . . .” Mamm shook her head and turned toward Dat. “I don’t know if I can do it.”

  Eva held up her hands as if to assure Mamm. “I know it’s scary, but you can’t live in fear. You have to trust God to keep him safe. You have to trust Nathan to train well, and learn how to be safe. I know that’s difficult because we lost Simeon, but not every firefighter is injured. Even fewer lose their lives. It’s obvious that Nathan wants to be a firefighter. I think you need to let him try.”

  Mamm frowned. “What do you think, Willie?”

  Dat raised his chin toward Jamie. “Let’s ask him what he thinks. What’s your opinion, Jamie?”

  Jamie removed the oxygen mask and hesitated. “I’m not sure it’s my business.”

  “We want your honest opinion,” Dat said. “Please tell us.”

  “Okay. I think Eva is right and you should let Nathan train. I was just like him when I was a teenager. The training is thorough, and we don’t allow the teenagers to go into burning buildings until they are seventeen and we’re convinced they’re ready.” Jamie met Kayla’s gaze. “I’ll look after him. I promise.”

  Dat and Mamm exchanged a look.

  “Eva and Jamie are right,” Mamm said. “It’s time we let him follow his dreams.”

  “Ya, I agree.” Dat turned back to Nathan. “Are you ready?”

  “Ya, I am.” Nathan beamed. “Danki, Dat.” He hugged Mamm. “Danki, Mamm.” He hugged Eva last. “Danki, Eva, for believing in me. I promise I’ll be responsible and I’ll follow all the safety policies and rules.”

  Kayla brushed away tears of happiness. Now if only the doctors would tell her Jamie would suffer no permanent damage to his lungs.

  When Jamie started to cough again, she touched his arm. “You need to go to the hospital.”

  Jamie nodded as he took in more oxygen.

  “I’ll take care of your horse and buggy,” Nathan offered.

  “Danki,” Jamie said before turning to Kayla. “I want to talk to you.”

  “I want to talk to you too.” She squeezed his hand. “I’ll come to the hospital as soon as I can.”

  THIRTY

  “I’m here to see James Riehl.” Kayla stood at the desk in the emergency room nearly an hour later. After she and her father dressed, a neighbor drove them to the hospital.

  “What’s your name, dear?” The middle-aged woman didn’t seem at all welcoming. In fact, she was frowning.

  “Kayla Dienner.”

  “Are you family?”

  “No, but I’m a close family friend.” Kayla tapped the counter. “He’ll want to know I’m here.”

  When the woman didn’t respond right away, Kayla quickly added, “Please ask if he’ll see me.”

  “Please have a seat. I’ll see if I can get a message to him, but it’s very busy back there. Plus, you’re not family.” The woman looked at someone behind Kayla. “May I help you?”

  “Let’s sit.” Dat took her arm and steered her to a sofa in the corner that faced a flat screen television. A news program was on. “Everything will be fine.”

  She dropped into one end the sofa and moved her finger over its arm. “She’s not going to let us see him. Maybe we should just go home.”

  “Don’t give up just yet,” Dat warned. “If we don’t hear anything in a little bit, I’ll ask again.”

  Kayla was staring at the television screen when someone called her name. She gasped when she turned and saw Mark walking toward her. She leapt to her feet and rushed over to him, her father in tow. “Mark! How is he?”

  “He’s going to be fine. He has some smoke inhalation so they’re going to keep him overnight. But he’ll most likely go home tomorrow. I was just going to call mei schweschdere to give them an update.”

  “Oh, praise God he’s okay!”

  “That’s gut news,” Dat added.

  “Ya, I agree,” Mark said. “We’re waiting for them to move him to a room upstairs. He’s in gut spirits. He was cracking jokes earlier.”

  “Oh, I’m so froh to hear that.” Kayla squeezed Dat’s hand. “He really gave us a scare.”

  Mark pointed toward the emergency room door. “Would you like to see him, Kayla?”

  “I’d love to.” She turned to Dat. “Would you like to come too?”

  Dat smiled as he shook his head. “You can give Jamie my regards. I’ll wait here so you can have some privacy.”

  “He’s going to be so surprised to see you,” Mark said as she walked beside him.

  Kayla’s heart thudded. She had to tell Jamie how sorry she was for breaking up with him. She prayed he would accept her apology and take her back.

  Jamie’s chest ached and his eyes stung as he scooted straighter against two pillows, but he was thankful to be alive. The chest X-ray and blood test had shown minor smoke inhalation, but according to the emergency room doctor he’d most likely be able to go home tomorrow afternoon after more oxygen treatments and a few follow-up tests.

  In the corner of the small room, Dat sat in a chair and thumbed through a magazine. Jamie was grateful Brody had sent one of the firefighters to get his family. Dat had convinced his sisters to stay home, but Mark promised to call them with an update.

  The curtain closed against the hallway fluttered open, and Mark stepped in. When Kayla followed him, Jamie was thrilled.

  “Kayla.” He breathed her name and drank in the sight of her.

  She’d changed into a rose-colored dress, a black
apron, and a prayer kapp. Her cheeks were pink, and even though he knew she’d been without sleep for hours now, her eyes were bright.

  “Hi, Jamie.” She gave him a smile and then waved at his father. “How are you, Vernon?”

  Dat nodded a greeting.

  Kayla moved to the side of Jamie’s bed. “I’ve been worried about you. How are you feeling?”

  Jamie forced a smile. “I’ve been better, but I’m doing okay.”

  “Hey, Dat.” Mark beckoned for him to come to the door. “Let’s go call Laura and Cindy and then get something to drink. I saw a vending machine room off the lobby. Willie is out there too.”

  “That’s a gut idea.” Dat stood and winked at Jamie before following Mark.

  Jamie nodded toward the chair his father had been sitting in. “Pull that over, and let’s talk.”

  “Okay.” She dragged the chair over to his bedside and sat down.

  They started to talk at once, and then they laughed.

  “You go first,” she offered.

  “No, you first.” He touched her hand, and heat flooded his veins at the feel of her warm skin.

  “Okay.” She threaded her fingers with his. “I just can’t tell you how thankful I am that you’re okay.” She shook her head as tears shimmered in her eyes. “I was so scared. When the roof collapsed, all I could think was that you were gone just like Simeon. My heart couldn’t bear losing you.”

  The tears slipped down her face, and he pulled her hand toward him.

  “Come here,” he said.

  They both leaned forward, and he hugged her close and breathed in the scent of her flowery shampoo. He rested his cheek on her head and closed his eyes.

  “Oh, Kayla, I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m sorry too.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  “I’ve missed you too.”

  Then he recalled their last conversation. He believed her when she said she’d been worried about him, and even that she’d missed him. After all, over the last weeks they’d bonded as they shared their experiences with grief and sorrow. But was he only a friend to her? Did someone else have her heart?

  He had to know.

  “Kayla, are you in love with Abram?”

  “What?” She pulled back from him and swiped the back of her hand over her cheek. “No, I was never in love with Abram. I’m not seeing him again.”

  “But you were holding his hand in the restaurant.” He folded his arms over his chest. “You said he keeps his promises, so I thought you got back together with him.”

  “I only said that because I was upset. To hurt you.” She cringed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Abram wanted to get back together, but I told him no.”

  Relief wafted over Jamie. He still had a chance to make things right with her! He took her hands in his.

  “I know I hurt you, but I need you in my life. Mei daed made me realize I’ve been missing out on a lot because I’ve been too consumed with keeping the farm running, and I’ve been volunteering at the firehouse too much. I love my family, and I love being a firefighter. I have a high sense of responsibility toward both. But I’ve used that to bury my guilt and grief over Mamm’s death. That in turn kept me from finding a balance that would make it possible to be in a relationship with you. To put you first. But I have to find that balance, and I will figure it out. If you give me another chance, I promise you I will put you first. I will keep my promises.”

  He took a deep breath. “You’re the most important person in my life, Kayla. And if you give me one more chance, I will show you just how much you mean to me. I’m not in love with the firehouse. I’m in love with you.”

  “I love you too,” she whispered, her voice hoarse. “I can’t imagine my life without you.”

  His heart felt as if it might explode in his chest. “I feel the same way.”

  “I’m so sorry for pushing you away.” She squeezed his hand. “You were right when you said I hurt you in the same way Abram hurt me. I was selfish and insensitive, and I hope you can forgive me. No one is perfect all the time. I was much too hard on you, and I promise I will do better, too, if you give me another chance. I won’t give up on you, Jamie.”

  She touched his cheek, and his heart felt as though it had turned over in his chest. “I was so determined to control every part of my life after Simeon died that I wasn’t willing to trust you or even trust God. I need to just open my heart and have faith in God and in you. I’m ready to do that now.”

  Her words were sweet music to his soul. He pulled her to him and brushed his lips over hers. The contact sent liquid heat shooting from his head to his toes.

  When he broke the kiss, she leaned down and rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m so thankful you’ll give us another chance. Ich liebe dich, Jamie.”

  “Ich liebe dich.” He drew circles on her back with his fingertips. “I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you.”

  Jamie wasn’t sure how long he held Kayla, but every moment was a healing balm to his soul. They talked softly about plans for their immediate future, each proposal representing a promise to trust and love the other.

  “Do you have any news on Amos?” he finally asked.

  She sat back in the chair and held his hand. “He’s going to be fine. Mei daed spoke to Amos’s sohn, and he said he has some smoke inhalation like you, so they are going to keep him overnight too. He’ll most likely go home tomorrow.”

  “Do they know what started the fire?”

  “Amos thinks he forgot to blow out the candles in his kitchen when he went to bed,” she said. “His sohn said Amos has a bad habit of burning candles and then forgetting to extinguish them.”

  “That’s a common cause for fires.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m so thankful you’re here. Your daed came too?”

  “Ya, he stayed in the lobby so we could talk alone.”

  His smile faded. “I’m still so sorry for scaring you.”

  “Just don’t do it ever again.”

  “I promise. I won’t.”

  Kayla smiled as Mark, Vernon, and her daed crowded into Jamie’s room. The men quickly fell into conversation, but her thoughts were her own. Her soul was overwhelmed with joy. Not only were Jamie and her neighbor going to be okay, but she also had Jamie back in her life.

  And he loved her!

  She imagined her heart might beat out of her chest with happiness.

  After a few minutes, Dat said, “I think we need to get going. Our driver is going to be here soon.” He shook Mark and Vernon’s hands. “It was gut seeing you two.”

  Out of the corner of her eye, Kayla could see an unspoken conversation between Jamie and his father.

  “Willie,” Vernon said, “why don’t Mark and I walk you out to the lobby?”

  “Oh, of course.” Dat shook Jamie’s hand. “Take care, Jamie. And no more responding to fires without your gear. It’s bad for your health.”

  Jamie chuckled and then coughed. “I won’t do it again. Danki for coming.”

  After the men left, Jamie took her hand again. “Mei daed is perceptive. He knew I wanted to say good-bye to you without an audience.”

  “That was kind of him.” She frowned. “Our visit went by too quickly. Would you please call me after you get home tomorrow? I can come and see you if you feel up to it.”

  He cupped his hand to her cheek. “That would be perfect.”

  Jamie pulled her over and brushed his lips on hers, sending joy buzzing through her like a honeybee.

  After breaking the kiss, he leaned his forehead against hers. “I’ll call you after I’m settled at home tomorrow.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  “Ich liebe dich, Kayla.”

  “I love you too.” She squeezed his hand and went into the hallway. As she walked toward the lobby, she silently thanked God for not only saving Jamie but for bringing him back into her life.

  EPILOGUE

  Happiness covered Kayla like
a warm blanket as she rested her head on Jamie’s shoulder. The glider moved back and forth in a slow, rhythmic motion, and Jamie looped his arm around her shoulders. She snuggled closer. Out beyond the pasture, the sun was setting in a deep azure sky, and a slight chill drifted through the air as fall teased the late summer evening.

  She closed her eyes and listened to the murmur of voices inside the house. Jamie’s father and siblings were eating the dessert she’d brought, and she was glad Jamie had suggested they come outside instead. They wanted some time alone before she had to head home for the night.

  “I can’t believe September is almost over.” Jamie trailed his finger up and down her arm, sending shivers spiraling along her skin.

  “Ya. Time is flying by.”

  They were silent for several moments, and she could hear the sound of his heartbeat.

  “I’ve been doing some thinking,” he suddenly said.

  “Oh ya?” She sat up straight and angled her body toward him.

  “You said something to me after I lost mei mamm that really helped me deal with her accident.”

  She searched his eyes. “What did I say?”

  “You quoted a verse in Luke where Jesus says, ‘Rise and go; your faith has made you well.’ And you said my faith would heal my heart and make me well again. You were right. My faith did make me well. Once I started opening my heart to God, I realized what I had to do to mend my relationship with you. And also to forgive myself.”

  “I’m glad I could help,” she said. “But I’m still so sorry I was hard on you when we broke up. I really expected too much from you. I thought having a gut relationship meant everything had to be perfect all the time. Eva helped me realize we’re all human. We’re going to disagree and argue. We just need to work through our problems together, and that’s what will make us stronger as a couple. I’m sorry for hurting you when I pushed you away. I was wrong.”

  Kayla touched his cheek, and he grabbed her hand and kissed its palm. “You don’t need to apologize. I think we both were wrong. I was a wreck after I lost mei mamm, and I thought working all the time was the answer to my guilt and grief, the way to get through.”