Captivated by Love (Grangers Book 1)

by Brenda Jackson

  “I’ve fallen in love with you, Carson. I know it might sound unbelievable to you considering everything, especially our circumstances. But I have, which is why I need a deeper connection to you. Of course, if you don’t feel the same, I will understand if you want no part in what I’m suggesting.”

  #

  Happiness curled in Carson’s stomach and a smile spread across her lips. She couldn’t believe Sheppard had just admitted to loving her and wanted to quickly arrest his doubts. “I love you too, Sheppard.”

  She saw the look of surprise in his eyes. “You do?”

  “Yes. I think I fell in love with you the day we first met.”

  A huge smile touched his lips. “Funny, you should say that because if I was asked, I would say walking into Warden Smallwood’s office and seeing you would be the defining moment for me as well. I think I fell in love with you the moment I looked into your eyes.”

  “Oh, Sheppard.”

  Tightening his arms around her waist, he drew her to him. She rested her head on his chest, fighting to breathe as happiness grabbed her by the throat. This man loved her. She loved him. Confessing their love was the first step and she was willing to take many more steps with him. Since Pence, she’d avoided men. But now, she believed Sheppard had been brought into her life for a reason. Just like she believed one day, he would walk out of here a free man, exonerated of all charges. Her goal as the woman he loved and the woman who loved him was to keep that hope alive. No matter what.

  “So the question I have for you, Carson, is…are you absolutely sure you want to hang in with me for the long-haul, not knowing how long that will be?”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and met his gaze. “Let’s shoot on forever. I will be yours forever, Sheppard, through thick and thin. In prison or out. I won’t be just your prison babe.”

  He smiled. “You could never be just a prison babe. You and I are too old for that. I want to shoot for forever as well. The day I am released from this place, I will walk out with my head held high knowing the woman I love will be waiting for me. And on that day, or as soon as it can be arranged, I want to make you mine legally.”

  She blinked, not sure what he was saying.

  Obviously noticing her confusion, he added, “I mean that more than anything, Carson Boyett, I want you to become Mrs. Sheppard Granger one day.” He paused a minute. “But for now, there have to be conditions.”

  Happiness nearly overwhelmed her. “More conditions, Sheppard?”

  “Yes.”

  “And what are these conditions?”

  He held her gaze for a long moment. “I will tell my father about us, but I’m not ready to share any details of our relationship with anyone else yet, including my sons. My life has pretty much been an open book, but I’d like to keep you as the one part that remains private.”

  He paused. “I want to protect you from the ridicule of becoming involved with a convicted killer.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t care about that, Sheppard.”

  “But I do care. I can just imagine the damage it could cause your business, one you’ve built over the years because of your stellar reputation. I refuse to have anyone start questioning your judgement because of your involvement with me.”

  Carson didn’t care about any of that, but seeing the firm set of his jaw, she knew Sheppard would not be swayed. This would be one of those topics they would have to discuss again later, but for now she would agree.

  “Okay, Sheppard. But I have a condition of my own.”

  He lifted a brow. “What condition is that?” She could tell by his tone he was somewhat leery about what she would say.

  “I know you won’t consider us making out in here, but if you’re serious about this tantric sex thing, then I want to experience it with you every chance we get.”

  She heard him release his breath. “We will, when reasonably possible. But first we need to determine if it’s something you want to indulge in. I thought we would get things started today. Are you ready for it?”

  She couldn’t hide the excitement she knew he saw in her eyes. “Yes, Sheppard, I’m definitely all in.”

  12

  Sheppard couldn’t stop the smile that curved his lips. He was tempted to lean over and kiss Carson again but their class in TS 101 needed to begin. He felt certain this was something they both would enjoy. “Come on, let’s get started,” he said, taking her hand and leading her over to a chair.

  Since this was a client/attorney meeting, they would not be disturbed. The situation was just about perfect.

  “Now what Sheppard?”

  They sat beside each other, holding hands. Twisting around in the chair he stared at her, thinking that there were so many things about Carson that touched him, made him appreciate being a male. The man who loved her. At night, he would lie in bed and imagine being somewhere else--namely in some other bed with her lying beside him. He’d fantasize about all the things he would do to her. However, despite the erotic thoughts that would filter through his mind while lying there and craving her physically, there was an inner part of him that yearned for a mental connection to her as well.

  That was the one thing he and Sylvia had never shared. An emotional bond. They'd married young, with sex foremost on their minds. She'd been as insatiable in bed as he'd been. As a young man, he'd had an unquenchable sexual appetite. Now he was old enough to know sex alone could not hold a relationship together. There had to be more.

  “Now we sit here and stare into each other eyes for a while, Carson,” he said softly.

  “Why? Am I supposed to read something in yours?”

  He heard the curiosity in her voice. “In a way. But the main reason is to expand the intimacy between us. Deepen it. Develop a close connection between us that’s not just sexual. We’ll close our eyes for a while first. Then when you think you feel a mental bond forming, open them. Just gaze deeply into my eyes to continue the relationship building.”

  Carson nodded. “Okay.”

  She closed her eyes and he closed his. He wasn’t sure what she was thinking about, but he focused his mind on the feeling of having her hand in his. He brushed a thumb back and forth over her palm, loving the feel of her soft skin. Remembering how that same thumb had once gently touched her face and how his fingertips had slid over her cheeks and lips. His body tingled with awareness.

  Breathing slowly, he inhaled her scent and leaned closer to get more of it. He could actually feel the way the air around them seemed to overflow with sexual energy. Something stirred to life in his mid-section as he continued to smell her, accept her feminine nearness and recognized the pull of desire stimulating his gut.

  Sheppard slowly opened his eyes to look at Carson and saw that her eyes were still closed. He wasn’t sure what thoughts consumed her mind but whatever they were, soft sighs were floating from her lips. He doubted she was aware she was making them. The subtle sounds stirred the air and stroked the space separating them. A feeling of peace and harmony flowed through him, overflowing right into his soul. It was then he realized just how close their faces were and decided to take advantage of the proximity to study her features while undisguised love warmed his heart.

  His gaze was drawn to her lips--lips that held him mesmerized whenever he looked at her for too long. Lips he enjoyed kissing. Just the thought sent sparks of energy charging in the room. But it wasn’t the typical sexual energy. What he was beginning to feel was unhurried euphoria, a state of contentment that filled his lungs with deep, satisfying breaths.

  Dark lashes were lowered over her closed eyes and seeing such a serene look on her face set off a ripple of burning desire through him. He was counting on another kind of intimacy for him and Carson, one that lasted longer, and was far deeper than anything either of them could imagine. He was feeling it already.

  He’d been about to shift his gaze when she slid her eyes open and their gazes connected.

  #

  The task had been for them t
o silently build an inner connection and it hadn’t taken long for her to feel it. Ridding her mind of clients and the cases that came with them hadn’t been easy. But once she filled her thoughts with Sheppard, she hadn’t wanted to focus on anything else.

  She had reflected on his charm, his goodness, and how, even after having his freedom taken away, he’d somehow maintained a stateliness, a charismatic air, an appealing persona. He was such a distinguished individual and being locked up hadn’t taken that away from him. She was filled with happiness that such a man could love her.

  Concentrating on him also meant focusing on the time they’d spent together getting to know each other. She imagined she could feel his warm breath close to her face. And then when she’d been consumed with thoughts of him, she had opened her eyes to find him there, staring at her.

  At that moment, she’d been wholly conscious of him and everything about him. Unable to break eye contact, she’d felt so much energy flowing from him that the magnitude made her limbs tremble and her skin tingle. The sexy eyes staring at her were so mesmerizing, she shivered with desire. Wild swirls of need encompassed her with burning intensity. How could she feel this way from just staring into his eyes?

  Carson knew she was seeing Sheppard as the man he truly was. Uncovered and uncensored. The skin on her hand burned where he held it. Every fiber in her body felt alive and she was able to sense something else about him. It was love. She could actually feel his love for her. Total joy filled her soul, elation touched her heart and a degree of exultation surrounded her.

  She knew they had a rocky road ahead. There was no way they couldn’t. There might come a time when he would try pushing her away again, but she would always stand her ground with him. Making Sheppard a part of her life had been what she wanted. He’d told her she deserved more, but she knew that they deserved each other. Her mind overflowed with the love they shared. They were truly connected.

  She watched as his lips slowly vibrated whenever he breathed in through his nose and out from his mouth. And the color of his pupils seemed to be a dark navy rather than a midnight black.

  A sensual mist surrounded them. A flutter began low in her stomach and her arms felt as if they were being caressed, when all he did was hold her hand in his. No words were spoken between them and she knew none were needed. Not when a throbbing began escalating slowly and meticulously between her legs. And as he continued to hold her in a daze-like state, she felt a flow of heat convulse her insides. A degree of pleasure filled her and she wished she could lean into him. Draw on his strength while her heart swelled with love. So much love.

  He was looking at her with an intensity that went beyond just physical need. She saw desire and a ferocious longing within the dark depths of his eyes, but she also saw something else, something that nearly made her gasp out loud. It was a yearning to be a part of her--heart, soul, body and mind. She was slowly being bombarded with sensation after sensation. What she felt warmed her heart and filled her with a sense of deep satisfaction. The realization that she was loved and desired so forcefully was slowly plunging her body into a state of mind-blowing ecstasy.

  Her breasts tingled, her skin began to feel hot and a deep throbbing grew between her legs…all from the way he was looking at her. The entire room seemed to radiate their heat. The air they breathed fanned the flames, engulfing their bodies with a kind of passion she doubted even touching could evoke.

  She noticed he wasn’t immune to what was taking place. She didn’t have to reach out to touch the crotch of his pants to see that he was aroused. It was obvious in everything about him. The way drops of moisture appeared on his forehead. How his skin appeared strained and pulled tight over his cheekbones. The way his jaw was thrusting forward. How his firm mouth seemed set, on the edge of control.

  Following his lead, she began breathing deeply through her nose and exhaling through slightly parted lips. Doing so seemed to heighten the shared sensuality, boosting it to an even higher level. The sensations flowing through her began taking over of their own volition. Her spine arched and her thighs opened, releasing all the volatile heat between her legs. Heat she wasn’t capable of controlling. Something was stimulating her down there, at the very core of her center.

  Spikes of spasms began traveling from her thighs and up her abdomen to her breasts. Their movement was slow and deliberate, inflaming every inch of skin. She became even more aware of the drugging scent of him. The sound of his breathing. The way his hand tightened on hers.

  Then it happened. Spontaneously.

  She climaxed hard, sitting right there in a chair staring eye to eye with him. When they whispered each other’s names, she knew what had taken place. It wasn’t the same kind of orgasm that came when lovemaking was just physical. It was something entirely different, something more powerful. It had the ability to connect the physical with the emotional in a way that encompassed all five senses. It had started out subtle then slowly escalated to something truly formidable.

  She continued to study Sheppard and saw that, like hers, his body was gearing up for yet another orgasm. How was that possible? Yet the shudders that were beginning to invade her body were a tell-tale sign. His nostrils were flaring from the depth of his breathing and the heavy sound of their laborious panting galvanized the room, stirring sensual energy.

  How long could a person endure such sexual empowerment? She wasn’t sure but was more than eager to find out. And from the look in Sheppard’s eyes, so was he.

  #

  Sheppard thought there was nothing like the scent of an aroused woman. The area below his below his waist seemed ready to explode again. He’d never appreciated it until now and wondered how he’d successfully managed to put such a thing way to the back of his mind. The last thing a man who was destined to be locked up for a long time should have on his mind was his need for a woman. He’d been well aware that a number of the men at Glenworth had engaged with flings with some of the female prison guards or managed quickies with wives, girlfriends or significant others. But he had accepted his fate. His sex life had ended long before Sylvia had died. In his mind, he couldn’t miss something he rarely got anyway.

  What he shared with Carson was special. He’d treasured each and every kiss. But what he’d just shared with her had been something totally unexpected. Even now, his body was still wired up, his senses heightened to a degree he hadn’t thought possible.

  If they could share something like this by using just the energy in the room, he didn’t want to think how things would be if they combined traditional lovemaking with tantric sex. He couldn’t imagine any other woman as the giver and recipient of something so over the top mind-blowing.

  Unless he finally brought this session to an end, they could continue stimulating their senses this way for hours. That was a luxury they didn’t have but they could look forward to the next time.

  Sheppard leaned closer to Carson’s mouth and captured it in his, showing her everything he felt for her in his kiss. Slowly and seductively, he savored her taste, yearning for the next time. Knowing there would be a next time sent his spirits soaring. He released her mouth and stared into her eyes before they moved to rake boldly over her. At that moment, everything felt right in his world.

  Raising their joined hands to his lips, he kissed them, using his tongue to lick her knuckles. He heard her sharp intake of breath. “You okay, Carson?” he asked as his steady gaze bore into her, knowing he’d just shared a kind of intimacy with her that he hadn’t with any other woman.

  “Only you can ask me something like that, Sheppard,” she said as a smile touched her lips. “You are like a magnet.”

  “So are you,” he countered, kissing their joined hands again.

  “What we just shared was special. So very special,” she whispered. “I didn’t know that such a thing was possible.”

  He hadn’t truly known either until he’d done the research. Now he was glad he had.

  “I’m looking forward to our next meetin
g, Sheppard,” she said quietly.

  A smile touched his lips. “So am I, baby. So am I.”

  Sheppard then leaned in and took her mouth in his again, gently at first and then with a hunger he felt all the way to the groin. He would never tire of kissing her, touching her, sharing intimacies with her. He loved her and believed one day he would be set free and then he could give her his name and the kind of life she deserved.

  13

  Sheppard inhaled a shocked breath as he gazed at his father. “Marshall Imerson is dead? But how? When?” Ambrose had left them alone so they could talk privately. His heart went out to Imerson’s wife and son, grieving for their loss.

  Richard Granger dragged in a deep breath as well. “An auto accident. I heard about it on the news this morning. They’re claiming Marshall was killed while driving under the influence.”

  Sheppard studied his father. “DWI? But I thought Imerson didn’t drink.”

  “He didn’t.”

  Sheppard knew there was more. “What is it, Dad? Tell me.”

  Richard rubbed a hand down his face. “On the way here, someone leaked a rumor to the media that there were financial problems within his company and that he was involved in something illegal. I don’t believe any of that either. All I know is that he’d discovered something big with Sylvia’s murder which could have exonerated you of all charges. I have no idea what he’d found out and I have a feeling he died because of it.”

  Sheppard didn’t say anything for a long moment, but he had that same sinking feeling. He knew he hadn’t killed his wife. And for years, he’d wondered who had. Sylvia Granger’s killer was still out there and evidently was determined not to be exposed. Now, more than ever, he believed Sylvia’s death had nothing to do with her numerous affairs. But if not her affairs, then what? If his suspicions were true, then trying to expose her killer might place his sons and father in danger. Had Imerson’s death been a warning?