Desperate: I'll Do Anything for Love

by B. M. Hardin

  Kera opened the door and she had not one, but two black eyes.

  “Uh,” I started to say.

  “Come in.”

  Who would have thought that I was about to ask her to help me take down my father?

  I didn’t need her help with Elroy. I was going to take care of him all on my own. But I wanted her to expose my father to the media and ruin his career. I wanted him to lose everything and then I was going to help my mama win everything else against him in court.

  Folks loved a good scandal and as respected as my father was in this town, they were going to have a field day with the discovery of his pregnant mistress. And with all of the media attention, I was sure that I would win. I was sure that the judge would side with me. And then my father would know what it was like to lose. He was going to lose to me.

  Then, I was going to offer to buy him out of his own company. He was going to need the money after all of his was taken away from him. My mother wasn’t exactly onboard yet, but once the media started to talk about Kera and the baby that she was carrying by her husband, she would be.

  Kera walked away from the door and hesitantly, I followed in behind her. Her house looked like she had been sleeping with a man with a lot of money, and my father sure had plenty of it.

  “Your father did this to me,” she said before I could even say anything. “He just showed up, out of nowhere, and said that he wanted to talk. He’d said that he’d been watching my house, waiting to see me and talk to me. He saw that I was still pregnant and went wild! He’d said that your mother was on his case these days, and that I most definitely couldn’t have the baby. I told him that I wouldn’t bother him, but that I was keeping the baby. One thing led to another and things got physical. He attacked me,” she said.

  I glanced at her stomach.

  “And you’re still pregnant?”

  “I felt it move this morning. So yes. It happened last night. This whole thing has been one big nightmare! He was the worst mistake of my life,” she said.

  “And Elroy was mine.”

  She was quiet for a second.

  “So what do you want to do about it?” Kera asked.

  “That’s exactly what I came to ask you.”

  ******************************************

  Chapter XI

  Elroy was acting weird as though he knew that something was wrong. But he had no idea what was really about to happen to him.

  “So, when were you going to tell me that you are pregnant,” he smiled. I was trying my best to hide it but I knew that he was going to figure it out. But for his sake, I was hoping that he didn’t.

  “I wanted to surprise you. Surprise!”

  “Oh you really are pregnant? I was just guessing! Hell yeah!” Elroy hugged me and I smiled as best as I could.

  He touched my stomach.

  “I got my baby after all huh,” he said. Um huh. Whatever you say. He talked and talked, and I wondered if Nate was ready. He was being more than generous. We were settled. I’d won his son’s case, so we were even. But when I went to him with my problem, and I told him how much I needed him one last time. He said that he would do one last favor; one for the road. From what he told me, he and his wife were moving somewhere far away; to spend some of that money he had hidden I suppose.

  But nevertheless, I told him that I was afraid for my life and I wanted Elroy dead. I wasn’t really afraid, but Elroy couldn’t be trusted and I would just much rather get rid of him then to have to worry or stay married to him. I hadn’t signed the policy, but he mentioned it often, so I figured that it was best to just go ahead and get rid of him. He was a mistake. I couldn’t respect a man like him after what I’d found out. So, Big Nate was going to handle it for me. Well, actually he said that he would have someone else to do it for him. And today was the day.

  Once Elroy was out of the way, next, Kera and I planned to take down my father. She was still onboard with exposing him. I even told her that I would make sure that she and the baby were taken care of, so she was definitely ready to go forth with our plan. He was going to be left with nothing. He was going to lose everything. But at least he got to keep his life. Elroy wouldn’t be so lucky.

  “This causes for a celebration! Baby, I’m so happy! I love you so much! I’m going to be the best father in the world!”

  He was so happy. I was so sad. Not sad for Elroy. But sad for my baby. Maybe even a little sad for my future. But I was fine with one and not the other. At least I would have a child. Even if I wouldn’t have a husband…anymore.

  “Will you cook for me?”

  “Of course baby. Anything you want,” Elroy said.

  “Well, I’m going to go to the grocery store and pick up a few things.”

  “No. I’ll go. You just relax.”

  “No. I want to go. I have some cravings and I want to just walk around and get all of the things that I want to get. So that I don’t miss anything,” I said to Elroy.

  He chuckled.

  “Okay baby. I’ll be here.”

  He helped me get myself together and I hugged him and kissed him goodbye.

  “I love you Elroy. I love you.”

  “I love you too baby.”

  I turned away from him and smiled.

  Love didn’t have a damn thing to do with this. Had he loved me, just me, for real, from the very beginning, things would be about to go differently. But I’d been just a game for him, all along, and now he was the one about to be played.

  I pulled out of the driveway. I waited until I was at the grocery store to tell Nate that I was gone. I gave him about ten minutes to get everything together as I sat and thought about my life.

  I’d been through more than enough heartache. But I was tired. Things were going to get better, from here on out, things were going to be perfect. Never again would I ever give my all to another man. Never again would I be so consumed with love that it would make me desperate and make me want to do anything just to have it or keep it. I wouldn’t be like that anymore. I would never do this to myself again. I was going to be someone’s mother and if it was a little girl, I had to be a better example. If I was going to raise a child, I had to wave the white flag and I had to let go of my revengeful, spiteful, ways. And I had to let go of Elroy. I had a little under eight months to get it right. And after Elroy was dead and my father was broke, I promised that I was going to try.

  It had been long enough so I called Elroy.

  “Hello?”

  “Hurry! I’ve just been in a wreck. Come quick!” I lied. Elroy screamed a few things and then said that he was on his way. But I knew that he wouldn’t make it. I knew that I would never see him again. I knew that was the last time that I would hear his voice.

  “Goodbye Elroy,” I said hanging up the phone and I placed it in my purse and went inside of the grocery store. I took my time. I wasn’t sure how to feel about what was taking place. But for some reason, after a few minutes, all I could feel was victorious. Sad, but true.

  After about thirty minutes, I was done and loaded my car with the bags. Just for the hell of it, I checked my phone to see if Elroy had called back. He hadn't. Of course he hadn't. But Nate had texted one word.

  Done.

  I took a deep breath.

  I waited to see if I would cry, but I didn’t. I’d gotten just what I’d wanted. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t sad. I was nothing. I didn’t feel anything. I just felt nothing.

  And pulling up at home, the police cars, and ambulances confirmed it. Two cops rushed towards me before I could even open my car door.

  “Ma’am who are you?”

  “I’m the owner of this house. I live here with my husband.”

  They started to talk to other officers walking by and I spotted the sheet on the ground that looked as though it had been sprayed with red paint.

  Elroy was dead.

  “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but which one is your husband?”

  Huh? What did he mean, which one?

 
; “There appears to have been a drive-by and two men were gunned down.”

  I glanced around for another sheet, and that’s when I spotted the car. My mouth opened wide.

  “Ma’am. Which one is you husband? Elroy Ross? Or Roger Thomas?”

  No! Daddy!

  ~***~

  I was only planning to take my father for everything that he had and give it to my mother. I never wanted him to die. I never planned to have him killed too. I mean sure, he was wrong for what he’d done, but he was still my daddy. I hated him, but in a different way. Not like I’d hated Elroy. The drive-by was only supposed to be for Elroy. I was supposed to tell him to rush to help me and as soon as he came out, they were supposed drive by and shoot him.

  My father wasn’t supposed to be there. Since Nate hadn't personally taken care of it himself, whoever had done it for him more than likely hadn't known or even cared which man was which. I assumed that they were just trying to get the job done.

  Now at my father’s funeral, I watched my mother. She wasn’t crying. She wasn’t smiling or anything either, but she wasn’t crying. Initially she had, but here at the funeral, she was just looking. Looking at the man that she’d spent the past thirty plus years of her life with, as though she was at some stranger’s funeral instead of her own husband.

  I definitely felt guilty. I’d wanted to help her, but I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to hurt my father either; at least not physically. Just his pockets. If anyone knew that I was even partly responsible for his death, no one would ever forgive me. All of my other siblings cried and said things to praise him, but when it was my turn, I just didn’t say anything at all. All I could do was cry. I refused to stand up there and lie but I also couldn’t forget how good of a father he had been to me. A terrible husband come to find out, but a good father to say the least.

  I’d buried that husband of mine the day before. Needless to say, I had cried my eyes out at Elroy’s funeral.

  All of the emotions hit me, all at once, once his casket closed. I remembered why I loved him. Why I’d wanted to be with him so badly. And then I remembered what he’d done to me, and those memories only seemed to make me cry even more. He’d played me. He’d betrayed me. But in the end, I’d gotten the last laugh. Even if I had to cry a little in the beginning. As I said, I always laughed…last.

  But he was gone. And I was back on my own and I was sure that I would be for a very long time.

  After my father’s funeral was over, I headed for Kera’s. I kept looking all over the church for her. I wondered if she would pop up and show her face at my father’s funeral but she never did. But there was something that I wanted to discuss with her.

  “Serenity,” she said, and stepped aside.

  Immediately I noticed that her baby bump was gone.

  “You lost the baby didn’t you?”

  She nodded. “Yeah. I started bleeding the same day. The last time that I saw you.”

  “Is that why you sent my father to my house?”

  She looked at me confused.

  I already knew that she’d called him. I didn’t know what she’d said, but she’d called him only minutes before he died.

  “Yes. I told him that I knew where you lived and that I was going to tell you about our affair so that you could tell your mother about us. I knew that he was going to try to beat me there, to try to stop me from telling you, but I knew that he would probably be caught in the crossfire. I was angry at him. I was so angry at him. I lost the baby so trying to ruin him and going to the media would no longer work. But he still had to pay. I just wanted him to pay. He had to pay for what he’d done to me. He had to pay for causing me to lose my baby.”

  Was I angry? The first day that I somewhat figured that she was probably involved, I was. But considering that she was somewhat in the same situation as I was, loving a man who didn’t love her back, and one that had lied to her and used her, for years, I could see where she was coming from.

  “Hmm, the only thing that I don’t understand is how did you know? I never told you what I was going to do to Elroy. You knew that I was going to do something. But I never told you what. So how did you know?”

  She looked at me.

  I waited on her to speak.

  “Serenity, Nate is my father.”

  What?

  “What?”

  “Yes. Big Nate is my dad. We have different last names. I have my mother’s maiden name. She had me before they were married and he was in jail during my birth, so he never signed the birth certificate. But he really is my father.”

  Say what?

  “I’ll give you the short version of the story. First off, he’s always hated Elroy. Always. He didn’t know that you were dealing with Elroy too until you needed him to take the tires off of his car. He told me about that. And he didn’t know that I was sleeping with your father until after you’d asked him to hurt me or to make me lose the baby. At that point, I told him that the baby wasn’t Elroy’s. But he wanted to get on your good side because he already knew that he was going to need you again for my brother’s case. He was going to need you to get him off, the same way you’d gotten him cleared. He knew that somewhere you’d gotten dirty and if you didn’t clear Jr., he was going to go to prison for something that he didn’t do. He’d simply vouched for our father. The charges that you had my brother cleared of were because he’d taken the blame for our dad, who was in enough trouble at the time already. So, my dad, Nate, refused to let him rot away in prison because of him. And considering that he was watching his spending of illegal funds that the police didn’t take or know about, he needed you. He was desperate Serenity. Once he saw that you were willing to do anything to get rid of me, he had to play along so that you would represent my brother. Sort of like a favor for a favor.”

  Well I’ll be damned!

  “Anyway, he always told me what you wanted from him. He never messed with my brakes but he told me that I had to wreck my car on purpose to make it look as though he did. He also never broke in and beat me up. He only made it look like he did and told me to call the police once he was done to report it. Elroy didn’t know anything that we were up to. He didn’t even know that you were the one that had represented my father. Of course that’s why he never had a good shot at running me over. And the kidnapping thing, well I was pissed at him about it, but I went through with it. He didn’t tell me when or how, but he told me that it was coming. He left the key to the chains for me down there in the basement, the whole time. I was just playing the part. I never went hungry. Of course he could pick a locks to the house and the fence and since you had him put the lock on the basement door, he had a key made for him too. He would come and check on me to make sure that I was okay and make sure that I had enough food and water. He’d said that I was doing it for the family. To help my brother. He always told me your next move. But he also said that I could get paid out of the deal. He’d said that though I had feelings for your father, it was time to get over them and it was time to expose him. It was his idea to tell you. I was just waiting on the opportunity. He also told me to tell you the truth about Elroy. You deserved to know the truth about the man that you were going through all of that trouble for. He knew that Elroy wasn’t worth it. He knew that you would want to know more. He knew that you would want the truth. He started calling your phone private, to shake you up. To rush you into letting me go, and to make you think that someone knew what you’d done. He knew that I was getting restless. And I was. Hell I couldn’t even wash my ass!”

  “So it was him? Playing on my phone? The whole time?”

  “Yes. And my mother. She knows too. He’d told me that you were getting nervous. When you and Elroy went to get married, he came to visit me and told him that I had to expose your father, and that it was time to tell you the truth. At that point, he was looking out for me. He knew that you would let me go. He said at the mention of your father’s name, he knew that you would expose yourself and show me who you were. H
e said after all was said and done, then I could demand a payment. He said that you wouldn’t kill me. You would be too angry at your father and Elroy to worry about me. Once you gave me the money and set me free, and once you’d helped my brother win the case, we thought it was all over. And then your father showed up and beat me up. Nate, Daddy, was furious! He wanted to kill him. But he knew that he was lucky to be out and couldn’t afford to get into any more trouble. And when he told me that you’d asked him for one last favor, to have Elroy shot and killed, I told him that I wanted your father gone too for what he’d done to me. And he couldn’t have agreed more. He told me to make it happen and he would make sure that he was shot too. All he’d had to do was leave me alone. I just wanted my baby. I wasn’t going to bother him. I was done with Elroy. I was done with your father. I just wanted my baby. But he took that away from me.”

  I was at a loss for words. Nate had been playing me to whole time to get my help and she had been right along with him. I should have known that something was up but I didn’t. I never would’ve guessed it.

  Still yet, hearing her truth about them both using me, and about her making sure that my father was killed that day too, I didn’t feel angry. Everything that happened to both of them, they’d caused on themselves. And in the end was it all worth it?

  Nope. Not at all.

  Elroy was gone. My father was gone. I was having a baby and taking over my father’s company. Though I was tricked, I still came out alright.

  Kera waited on me to say something, but I didn’t. I stood up and headed to the door. What was done was done. I’m turning over a new leaf, and now that I knew that it was her fault Daddy died and not mine, the guilt was gone. And I just wanted to be free.