All Consuming

by Jaci Burton

  Kal took the burgers outside to put them on the grill, while Oliver set the table and her mom made dressing.

  “Anything you want to talk about?” her mother asked her.

  “Not right now.”

  “You know I’m here for you, no matter what it is.”

  “Thanks.”

  Fortunately, her mom and Oliver and Kal had plenty of topics to discuss over dinner, giving Hannah the time to stay in her head. Kal tried to engage her in conversation, but she only gave him short answers. Thankfully, he didn’t press her in front of Oliver.

  After dinner, they all cleaned up and Oliver went to take a bath under her mother’s supervision, while Hannah put the dishes away.

  “Is there something bothering you?”

  “No, I’m fine.” She didn’t want to talk about it, to bring it up again, not when it felt so raw.

  But Kal wasn’t going to let her sweep it away. He turned her to face him.

  “Hannah. Talk to me.”

  She looked around the corner to make sure the bathroom door was closed. She heard Oliver and her mother chatting away so she knew he couldn’t hear her.

  “Landon showed up at the salon today.”

  “Your ex.”

  “Yes.”

  He didn’t look angry or upset, just concerned. “What did he say?”

  She crossed her arms in front of her. “He wanted to see Oliver. At first he wanted to pull him out of school tomorrow to spend the day with him, but I talked him out of that. He’s moving to North Carolina. He has a new job, a new girlfriend. He appears to have his life on track, but I don’t know. That remains to be seen. He agreed with me that it was best not to see Oliver until he gets his life together. But he did say he’d start calling him on a regular basis.”

  “Do you believe him?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s made a lot of promises in the past that he hasn’t kept. All I can do is hope.”

  “That must have been a tough conversation. I’m sorry, Hannah.”

  He pulled her into his arms and at first she resisted, but then she realized how comforting it felt to share the burden. And when Kal rubbed her back, some of that tension she’d been holding on to all day eased.

  “You’re not in this alone, you know,” he said. “We’ll figure this out.”

  That was the thing. Her relationship with Landon and Landon’s relationship with Oliver wasn’t a thing she could share with Kal or with anyone else.

  It was a problem she was going to have to deal with on her own. Maybe Landon really had changed. It would be good for Oliver to get to spend some time with his father. But only if it was quality time, and that it happened on a regular basis. The one thing she could count on with Landon was his inability to be dependable.

  So as far as him turning his life around and becoming the ideal father?

  That remained to be seen.

  In the meantime, it would go back to being life as usual for her and for Oliver. And for the next few weeks she’d wait to see if Landon followed through and actually called Oliver. And if not, then she’d deal with it. By herself. Like she’d always done before.

  CHAPTER 29

  “I wanted to talk to both of you about the house.”

  Jackson looked up at Kal. “What house? This one?”

  “Yeah.”

  His brothers had all gotten together to do some painting at the house and had taken a break. They were sitting at the table eating amazing sandwiches that Rafe had brought from their favorite deli, and he figured now was as good a time as any, especially since it was a Saturday and Becks was at work. He wanted this time just with his brothers so they could work this out.

  Hannah had been tense and quiet the past few weeks, and Kal wasn’t sure what was going on. She kept telling him everything was fine, but he knew there was a lot on her mind. Maybe it was because the holidays were approaching and she was busier than usual at work. He didn’t really know, but he felt her tension every time they were together, like there was something she wasn’t telling him. They’d go out and she seemed to have a good time, but he knew she was holding back. She wasn’t as relaxed.

  He needed to fix that, wanted to do whatever he could to help her and Oliver feel more settled in their lives.

  It was time for him to make some plans, and the first part of that plan started here.

  “What about the house?” Rafe asked, absently petting the pup while they talked.

  “I’m trying to make some plans for the future. I was thinking, Jackson, that after you and Becks get married, you’ll probably want to stay here in the house.”

  “Oh.” Jackson scratched the side of his nose. “We’ve actually been talking about that. I was gonna bring it up with you guys.”

  Rafe leaned back in his chair. “Go ahead.”

  “Becks and I want to foster older kids, around the ages we were when Mom and Dad found us. We’ll probably adopt a few, depending on what the state permits us to do. You know, so kids who wouldn’t normally get a chance for a family would get one. Like we did.”

  Kal grinned. “That’s awesome.”

  Rafe smiled, too. “Love that idea.”

  “Yeah. So we were thinking this house would be ideal for something like that, with all the extra bedrooms and the pool and now that we have the dog and all.”

  Kal could already imagine Jackson and Becks being parents to some amazing kids. And he’d been making plans of his own, at least in his head. “This is such a great idea, Jackson. I’ll move out.”

  Jackson shot him a look. “We aren’t even married yet. You don’t have to leave right away.”

  “I know, but I’m making some plans of my own.”

  “Yeah?” Rafe sent him a questioning look. “Wanna share?”

  “Not yet. Hopefully soon. In the meantime, we should all talk to Mom about making this house permanently yours and Becks’s, Jackson.”

  “That’s not necessary. It’s a family house, since it belonged to Grandma.”

  “I agree with Kal,” Rafe said. “If you and Becks are going to raise your family here, then it should be your house.”

  Jackson shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know. We should all talk to Mom about it. We all put equity into this house with the renovation. If we buy it from Mom, we should all share in that equity. That’s what we always talked about.”

  “Hey, whatever you all decide, I’m good with it,” Rafe said.

  “Yeah, same here,” Kal said.

  Jackson nodded. “Like I said, we’ve got some time. So we’ll make a plan. In the meantime, don’t go running out of here, okay, Kal?”

  “Deal.” With that settled, they finished lunch and went back to their paint work. When Kal finished at the house, he showered, then met with a Realtor and told her what he was looking for. She said she’d get some places together for him to look at.

  Part one of his plan was coming together. Now all he had to do was wait.

  * * *

  • • •

  While Hannah waited for her next client to arrive, she flipped through her calendar, her irritation growing by the minute as she counted the days. Three weeks had gone by and Landon hadn’t called. Not once. Not even a text.

  She wasn’t at all surprised. But she was so disappointed, more in herself for believing for one second that her ex had changed. He’d sure made it sound as if he’d turned a corner, that he’d grown and matured.

  She should have known better.

  A leopard did not change its spots. And Landon’s were permanently affixed on his sorry ass. She was so grateful she hadn’t allowed him to see Oliver. A visit would only have built up his hopes, only to send them crashing down, once again.

  Why didn’t Landon love their son as much as she did? Oliver was bright and intelligent and fun. She would never understand a fath
er who didn’t want to be with his own child. She took a swallow of water and swiped at the tears that welled in her eyes.

  Everything had been fine until Landon had showed up. She’d moved on, she had a plan for their future. And with one short visit Landon had totally screwed with her head, made her hope that he’d matured, that he could accept some responsibility.

  It proved to her that the only person she could trust was herself.

  Now the one thing she knew for sure was that Landon was never going to have contact with Oliver again.

  She’d make sure of it.

  CHAPTER 30

  “Thank you for Christmas shopping with me,” Hannah said as they loaded bags in the back seat of his truck. “It’s hard to do this on my own.”

  Kal and Hannah had spent two hours at one of the large merchandise stores, which hadn’t been all that crowded considering it was a Tuesday night and there were still a few weeks until Christmas. He was thankful for that.

  “Hey, it was fun. And thanks for helping me pick out gifts for some of the homeless kids.”

  She leaned against him at the side of the truck. “You’re so sweet to do that.”

  “Jackson and Rafe and Becks and Carmen and I all pitch in. We get toys and games for the kids, then we buy food and bring it out to the camp along with some clothes and necessary items for the adults. They should have a Christmas, too.”

  She sighed. “They won’t go to the shelters or the places that serve meals?”

  He shrugged. “Some of them will. Some won’t. The ones that won’t are those we want to make sure have a decent meal and a gift.”

  They climbed in the truck, Kal pausing to check his phone, then headed back toward Hannah’s house. Before they reached the block, however, he took a left.

  “You made the wrong turn, Kal,” she said.

  “I know. There’s someplace I want to show you.”

  He pulled to the curb in front of an unfamiliar house. Hannah frowned.

  “What’s this?”

  “It’s a house I’m looking at. Want to come with me?”

  She gave him a suspicious look, but nodded. “Okay.”

  The house was a one-story cream-colored stucco with a beautiful front porch and a tile roof.

  “This is really nice,” she said as they got out.

  It was dark out so she wouldn’t be able to get the full picture of how pretty it really was. But if she liked it, he’d bring her back during the day. “Come on. Naomi is waiting for us inside.”

  “Naomi being . . .” she said.

  “My Realtor.”

  “So you’re house shopping.”

  He grinned. “You could say that.”

  They walked through the front door. Naomi, a mid-forties dynamo who was all of five foot one, waited for them in the entry. She shook his hand. “Hi, Kal.”

  “Hey, Naomi. This is Hannah.”

  She held her hand out. “Nice to meet you, Hannah.”

  “You, too, Naomi. This house is lovely.”

  “Isn’t it? Go ahead and walk through. I’ll be waiting outside.”

  Kal led Hannah through the foyer and into the kitchen.

  “Wow,” Hannah said. “This is nice.”

  The kitchen was open to the dining and living area. The kitchen had tons of counter space and lots of cabinets, and the floor was a light travertine, which was amazing during the day. “There’s tons of light in here. Look at all the windows.”

  She walked around, sliding her fingers over the granite countertops. “I can see why you’d like it.”

  He took her hand and led her through the back door, flipping on the light. “And look at this backyard. Built-in kitchen, fire pit, and plenty of room to build a pool.”

  She took in the view. “This is really amazing. So spacious.”

  “Right?” They stepped inside and he flipped the light off, then walked with her down the hall toward the bedrooms. “Four bedrooms, two bathrooms. The master is killer. It’s huge.”

  “It definitely is,” she said as they walked through all the rooms. “Nice bathroom, too. It looks like they renovated everything. I like that soaker tub in the master.”

  He loved that she loved everything. “Yeah. And all the bedrooms are big. Which one do you think Oliver would like?”

  She stopped abruptly and spun around to look at him. “Wait. What?”

  “Oliver. For his room? Which one do you think he’ll choose?”

  She held up her hands. “Wait a minute. This house is for you, right?”

  “For us. For you and me and for Oliver.”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  Now it was his turn to frown. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, no. N-O, Kal. I don’t want this.”

  “You don’t like the house?”

  “I love the house. The house is great. You should buy it. For yourself. Not for me. I’m not moving in here with you.”

  Now he was really confused. “I don’t get it. So you like the house, but it’s not for you?”

  “No. When and if I can afford to buy a house, I’ll buy one. With my own money. For me and for my son.”

  What she was saying didn’t make any sense to him. “Hannah. Maybe I didn’t make this clear. I want us to move in together. Make plans for a future together. You and me and Oliver. Like a family.”

  “No, you didn’t make that clear, but the fact that you assumed that I’d just ride along on your grand plan without even consulting me about your house-hunting adventure is so typical of the male species it should be written in the ‘Dumb Things Men Do’ guidebook.”

  Ouch. “Okay, maybe I thought you were ready to—”

  “That’s the problem, Kal. You just thought. You didn’t talk to me at all. No, I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready. Not for this. Can you just take me home now?”

  “Sure.” He didn’t know what else to say.

  As they walked out, he gave Naomi a tight smile and told her he’d call her later. Fortunately, this house was only a couple of blocks from Hannah’s, because the silence in the truck was icy. She got out as soon as he’d parked, then pulled her packages out of the truck.

  “Hannah, wait.”

  She clutched the bags to her chest and turned to face him.

  She didn’t say anything, so he had to. “I guess . . . I need to know how you feel.”

  “How do I feel? I don’t know how I feel, Kal. Not right now.”

  He stepped toward her. “Then I’ll tell you how I feel. I’m in love with you. And I love Oliver, and I want both of you in my life. But if that’s not what you want, then you need to let me know, because I’m invested. My heart is invested, and I thought yours was, too.”

  She looked at him and he waited.

  And waited.

  “Like I said, I don’t know, Kal. I’m not sure how I feel. I just need some time, okay?”

  He gave her a quick nod and watched while she turned her back on him, walked away and closed the door without once turning around.

  It took him a few minutes of standing there in her driveway before he could climb in his truck and drive away.

  Okay, so he’d had this all wrong. He figured that this would all turn out like it had for Rafe. That he’d surprise her with his plans to get a house for them. That Hannah would be thrilled and excited to start a new chapter of her life with him.

  He’d been dead wrong. He’d been wrong about Hannah.

  Maybe this was her way of getting back at him from ten years ago, when he’d made the decision to break them up.

  Maybe they hadn’t grown and changed.

  Maybe nothing had changed at all.

  CHAPTER 31

  “Momma, can I hang up this ornament that Daddy made for me?” Oliver asked, dangling the wooden motorcycle that Landon had
made when Oliver was two.

  Hannah gritted her teeth and smiled. “Sure.”

  “Kal said we were gonna go to the Christmas store. And that we’d get a fireman ornament.”

  “Kal’s . . . busy right now, baby.”

  Oliver looked at her. “I miss him, Momma. Is he gonna come over soon?”

  Hannah tensed. “We’ll see. How about you find your Spider-Man ornament and hang that on the tree?”

  “Okay.”

  Oliver helped her decorate the tree, then lost interest and asked if he could go play with Jeff. She called Becca, who said Jeff was available, so Oliver dashed over, leaving Hannah and her mother to finish putting up the Christmas decorations.

  Great. Just one more task to do today. One more joy-filled thing on her to-do list.

  “I don’t know who filled this box last, but it’s a mess,” she said, rummaging through papers and packing material. “I can’t find a thing.”

  “Girl, you’ve been griping around this house for a week now. Usually the holiday season puts you in your happy place. What’s wrong with you?”

  Hannah handed her mother one of the decorations to put on the mantel. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.”

  “Right. Snippy, grouchy, grumbly, angry, pouty, sniffly . . .” Her mother paused. “If I could come up with one more, you could be an updated version of the Seven Dwarfs all in one person.”

  She was not . . . all those things her mom had just said. She reached into the box for the Christmas stockings and hung those up, smoothing her hand over Oliver’s. Hanging Oliver’s stocking always made her happy. Now it just made her . . . what was one of those words?

  Oh, right. Tears welled in her eyes and she sniffled.

  Sniffly. That was it.

  Nothing was going right. She wasn’t all right.

  She’d done the right thing in breaking up with Kal. Whatever choices she made were always the best ones for her son. And for herself. Going it alone was for the best. Everything had become so complicated. Now it would be easier. She could concentrate on building up her clientele at the salon and taking care of Oliver, with nothing else to get in the way.