Season of Joy

by Virginia Carmichael

  The balcony was occupied with one other couple, an older man and woman holding hands, and they exchanged smiles. Grant led her to the edge and peered out into the night. “They said there would be more snow.”

  “Smells like it.” Calista took a sip and let the spices tingle her tongue. She looked out into the darkness, struggling to find the right words. She knew better than to leave anything unsaid. This might be their only chance. “Thank you for coming tonight. I know the offer came as a shock.”

  “Calista.” He set his hot cider on the balcony ledge and turned to her, expression all business. “I need to tell you something.”

  Her heart pounded in her chest and she searched for a clue in his face. Was this where he told her that he would never see her again? Is this the moment her heart would break?

  She nodded. “Go ahead.”

  He looked out into the darkness, his profile half in shadow, and seemed to be having trouble finding the words. “I held the media announcement because I was receiving threatening letters. And it’s true my father sent me checks that I never cashed.”

  Calista blinked, struggling to switch gears. After the fire, she wanted to hear the whole story. But this was an odd moment to tell it.

  “There are rumors that my father’s wealth is from illegal enterprises.” He looked her in the eyes, gauging her reaction. “They’re all true. So I refused to have any kind of relationship with him.”

  Calista nodded, but inside she was confused. Letters, money, broken laws. Was there anything here she didn’t know or hadn’t heard?

  “When he showed up after the fire, he admitted he was the one sending the letters. Well, he was paying someone to do it.”

  She couldn’t restrain a gasp. Her hand went to her throat, and she felt her eyes go wide with shock.

  His face was rigid, eyes narrowed. “It’s an ugly situation. And you deserve to know the truth.”

  “Oh, Grant. I’m so sorry.” She reached out a hand and touched his arm. Her eyes started to burn and she blinked tears away. “You can’t be held accountable for your father’s deeds.”

  He let out a breath, his shoulders slumping. “But when image is everything, these things matter. I wanted you to know, probably should have told you sooner.” He met her gaze. “You deserved the chance to step away from the situation, to consider your own reputation.”

  Calista wanted to deny it, but he was right. Sometimes image was everything. But she didn’t care about image as much as she did a few months ago. Maybe that was a bad thing, but it didn’t feel bad. It felt very, very good. She stepped closer, lifting her hand to his cheek, feeling the slight stubble on his jaw. His eyes were hot, searching her face. “I think my reputation can withstand a few rumors.”

  She felt his smile under her fingers, and he turned his head and pressed a kiss to the palm of her hand. “Let me know when it gets to be too much.”

  “I will.” Her words were barely audible but his lips twitched moments before they met hers. Her lids drifted closed, reveling in the warmth of him, the familiar smell of aftershave and soap. One arm slipped around her waist and she let herself forget she was a CEO, forget that her life had been completely empty until a few months ago. She let herself be just a woman who was in love with a man. Something wet and cold touched her face and she opened her eyes with a gasp.

  “It’s snowing.” She glanced up and grinned at the fat flakes falling thickly from the sky.

  Grant’s arms were still wrapped around her. The softness in his eyes made her breath catch. “This is the best Christmas ever.” His voice was full of wonder.

  She laughed, leaning back to look into his face. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

  He planted a kiss on her cheek and grabbed her hand. “What do you say we get back in there and raise some money?”

  “Lead the way.” She let him pull her back into the ballroom, heart filled with the sort of joy she had never had before.

  * * *

  Christmas Eve dawned bright and sunny, completely contrary to Calista’s mood. After spending the night staring at the ceiling, she gave up at dawn and padded to the kitchen. Maybe making a few dozen sugar cookies would make it seem like Christmas. An hour later, her condominium smelled absolutely edible but she didn’t feel an ounce of joy.

  She checked her phone for messages for the tenth time that hour. No word from Grant since the party. She knew he was busy keeping the residents fed, but how hard was it to pick up the phone? Heck, he could even text a few lines. She would take anything at this point. She glared at the plate of perfect little cookies, trees and stars and bells with colored sprinkles. It had been shaping up to be the best Christmas in recent memory and now... Her chest tightened at the thought of spending Christmas without Grant. How many Christmas Days had she spent alone? But not like this, not missing someone so badly it felt as though a hole had been torn in her heart.

  Calista straightened her shoulders. Maybe he was angry that VitaWow had turned down the mission’s offer. Maybe he thought she had volunteered, trying to get inside information. Maybe he thought she’d started the fire. She just couldn’t guess what was going through his mind. And if he wasn’t going to tell her, there was no other choice but to go to the mission and ask.

  * * *

  She swung open the lobby door to the mission and strode inside.

  “Hey, Lana, is Grant somewhere around here?”

  Lana took several seconds to respond, her blue eyes wide. “Uh, he sure is. Let me call him out.”

  Calista put the cookies on the desktop. “Don’t bother. I can go back, if he’s not busy.” Calista headed for the security door, waving away Lana’s protests. “Have a cookie. They’re fresh,” she called and punched in the code with shaking fingers.

  She was a modern woman. She knew that a little hand-holding and a couple of brief kisses didn’t make a relationship. But that line he’d thrown out about how she was the only woman he was interested in right now? Somehow she had grabbed that one line and run with it. In her head they had been practically raising a brood of kids already. Until the fire, and the building offer. Calista gritted her teeth and tried to make her expression pleasant, when she felt only pain at how easily she had fallen in love with Grant. And how easily her heart was breaking. She should have known better. How many times had he said he was too busy for love? Five? Ten? And she had said the same thing.

  But her doubts ran deeper than that. Calista paused outside his door and finally faced the possibility that Grant wasn’t too busy to call. He knew who she was and how she spent her time. She poured all her energy into making money and selling a product that didn’t really make anyone healthier. He would never want a woman like her. She closed her eyes and whispered a prayer. Please give me strength to face him, Lord. I want to make sure he’s okay and that Marisol is okay and the mission will go on. Then I can leave.

  She knocked loudly on his closed office door and waited for some kind of response. There was the muted sound of footsteps and the door swung inward, revealing the man who had changed everything about the way she saw the world.

  “Come on in.” His tone was subdued, and she caught a glimpse of dark shadows under his eyes before he turned away. His suit looked a little rumpled, as if he had slept at his desk. He definitely looked the worse for wear.

  “I got worried. You haven’t called me back.” She wrapped her arms around her middle, feeling like she was trying to hold herself together. All her anger was turning to fear. He looked like a man who had lost everything.

  “It’s been pretty busy around here. You want to take off your coat?” He settled into his office chair and his gaze flicked past her. She saw how his usually freshly shaved jaw was rough with stubble.

  Calista hesitated, then hung up her red wool coat on the hook. Clumps of fresh snow on the shoulders and hood were melting i
nto nothingness. It was the same feeling she had in the pit of her stomach.

  “Grant, are you okay? You look exhausted. And pale.” She took a step forward, wishing she could take his face in her hands and wipe the frown from his brow.

  “I’m fine.” With those last words, he looked up at her. The expression made her breath catch in her throat. It was sadness, pity, resolve, pain. He shrugged, as if switching gears. “But your party plan worked. We’ve had half a million dollars in pledges already this week. The board agreed to reject the VitaWow offer. But when Ralph called over, he heard they had already voted against it. I’m glad your company decided it wasn’t in its best interests to buy the mission site.”

  Calista frowned. They’d already been over this. “Grant, it was a great deal. No doubt about it. But what about the people here? What about the staff? They can’t wait for some big complex to be built. Especially if it’s way out of town.”

  His deep blue eyes settled on her, his gaze intense. “You’re saying VitaWow board voted against acquiring the land because it would close the mission.”

  Calista paused and wished she could say the board was so compassionate. “No. I tried that argument. I also tried to say it would look bad for VitaWow to buy this place right after the fire. In the end I tried a little scare tactic.”

  “Which was?”

  “I told them we couldn’t afford to get tangled up with whatever struggle was happening between you and Kurt Daniels.” She shrugged. “I don’t know what convinced them, but I was praying my heart out the whole time.”

  Grant stood up and crossed the room in a few steps. Calista felt her mouth drop open a little at the speed of his approach. His jaw was set; intensity radiated from him.

  “That’s what they told me. VitaWow backed out because nobody wants to be in the middle of the drama that is Kurt Daniels and his son. Reputations are valuable. Once tarnished, there’s no restoring them. And what about you? Can you afford to get tangled up in this mess?”

  Calista lifted her chin and said quietly, “I already am, aren’t I?”

  He stood inches away, expressions crossing his face faster than she could track them. “I’m sorry.”

  “Please, don’t be...” And she meant to finish the sentence, to tell him how she understood what it was like to run from your past. How she wasn’t sorry she came to the mission and met Marisol. How she’d learned to love something much bigger than herself for once. But there was a lump in her throat that made the words impossible.

  He nodded and turned toward the window, his voice soft but steady. “I never should have gotten involved with you. It’s not fair to drag anybody into my family’s drama. But we haven’t known each other very long and this city has a short memory. By next year, no one will even remember.”

  It was obvious he’d changed his mind about her. Them. Whatever they were. No one will even remember. He was going to forget her as soon as she was out of sight. She hauled in a breath and steeled herself to make a graceful exit.

  “Grant, I want to thank you for letting me volunteer. I’ve learned so much about the needs of the people here. I’ve made friends...” Her voice trailed away into nothingness. How did you say goodbye when your heart was shattering?

  He nodded, still not meeting her eyes. “Thank you, Calista. You’re welcome back anytime.”

  She stood, not wanting to move away but not able to bridge the space between them. In the end, she slipped on her coat and walked out, wishing she was somewhere, anywhere, but in her own life.

  As she pushed open the lobby door, Calista hoped her face showed calm, and not the raw pain that twisted through her.

  Lana looked up from the desk and called out to her. “Come here, Calista.”

  It was the last thing in the world she wanted to do but she moved her leaden feet away from the front door and toward the desk. The Christmas tree winked and sparkled with colored lights. A group of kids gathered by the cafeteria doors, chattering and laughing.

  Jose came over to the desk, watching Calista’s face with a wary expression.

  “Where are you going?” Lana seemed almost accusatory.

  She coughed, trying to clear the lump from her throat. “I was going to head home.”

  “It’s Christmas Eve and we’re going to sing some carols with the kids. Savannah was asking for you yesterday.”

  How could she stay and sing carols when all her hopes were gone? She wanted to crawl into bed and never come out. “Thanks, but I need to go home.”

  “No, you should join us. It’ll be fun.” Jose nodded agreement.

  “Mija, you are leaving?” Now Marisol had joined them, her dark eyes wide with surprise.

  She could hardly lift her eyes. Of course they would all want her to stay and be festive. But she was barely keeping herself together for the few minutes it would take to get to her car. There was no way she could sing carols. “Yes, I need to go. I just stopped...to make sure everybody was okay.”

  “But everybody is not okay! Mr. Monohan is thinking that—and you are leaving without—and how will we—” Marisol broke down in tears at the last word. Her face crumpled with grief and her chin dropped to her chest as she began to sob noisily.

  Calista felt her face go slack and she shot a glance at Lana, only to see the same shock on her face. Jose looked as if someone was pounding a nail through his hand.

  “Don’t cry, Mari. Don’t cry. I’ll fix this.” Jose patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.

  “No, it cannot be fixed! It is all ruined and now they will never—”

  “No, Marisol, just wait. I can fix this.” Jose grabbed Calista’s arm and steered her back toward the office door.

  “What are you doing?” she gasped in surprise.

  “Fixing,” he responded, his face set in a grim mask. He punched in the code and marched her back down the carpeted hallway to Grant’s office. The door was open, just as Calista had left it.

  “Mr. Monohan.” Jose’s tone brought Grant’s head up with a snap. His eyes widened as he took in the scene before him: Jose gripping Calista’s elbow, her expression probably furious and embarrassed.

  “You need to know something.” Jose paused, his chin jutting out. “Marisol is crying because Calista is leaving.”

  Grant studied his hands, jaw clenched. Finally, he said, “I don’t understand. What does this have to do with me?”

  Jose sighed. “You know what. If you want to be stubborn, then you go out and tell Marisol that you would rather break her heart than swallow your pride.”

  Calista felt anger boil up inside. Break Marisol’s heart? What about hers? “Just wait a minute.”

  Jose turned and said fiercely, “No, you two wait a minute. We live in a place where dreams die, families are broken, kids are placed in foster care, sons are lost, parents leave. And you two are willing to let this good thing God has planned for you just...just fall apart because you’re too proud to actually have a conversation.”

  Calista felt heat creep up her neck and into her face. This good thing God has planned? She shot a glance at Grant.

  “So, you two stand here and think about it for a while. I’m going back out to see if I can get Marisol to stop crying so we can sing some Christmas carols.” He said the last sentence in such a threatening tone that Calista almost burst out laughing at the incongruity. Jose was like a mother hen, scolding her chicks.

  He turned and left the room, leaving Calista to stare after him, her mouth twitching.

  The sound of a warm chuckle made her knees weak and she could hardly raise her eyes to meet Grant’s gaze.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Who knew Jose was so afraid of Marisol?” Grant asked, shaking his head.

  “Or Marisol’s tears.” Calista closed her eyes briefly, as if gathering strength. “Look, Grant, sh
e’s a sweet woman but we can’t let her expectations decide our futures.”

  Grant crossed the room and stood before her. He’d never felt more afraid, or more hopeful. He was jumping off the cliff and not even checking to see if there was a parachute. “I agree. It doesn’t matter what Marisol thought was happening here. It doesn’t matter what Jose will do to us if we don’t make Marisol happy. What matters is you and me.”

  “Is there a you and me?” Her voice was almost all breath, her green eyes shining with tears.

  “I want there to be. I know how awkward this is, with my father and the media—”

  “I don’t care. I love you.”

  Those sweet words coming from her mouth were more than he could bear. He opened his arms and she walked right into them, as if she had been made to live next to his heart. She smelled like warm cookies. Her voice was muffled as she spoke into his shirt. “He’s right. I was too proud to come in here and ask to be part of your life.”

  He kissed her hair, her temple, feeling her arms wrap around his waist under his jacket. “You shouldn’t have had to ask. I’m sorry, Calista. I was so sure you wouldn’t want to be with a man like me.”

  She raised her head in surprise. “A man like you? You mean, a man who works at a homeless mission? Grant, the joy and purpose you have in your work has changed my life. I’m a different person because of you.”

  He searched her face, not able to believe that God could be so good to him. “I meant the situation with Kurt Daniels. We’re trying to get to know each other. But he’s got a serious past. Someday, there’ll be a huge scandal. It will touch me, and this mission, just because we’re related.”

  He watched her eyes narrow, appreciating his words. She said, “If God is with us, we’ll be okay. And that future scandal? Bring it on.”

  A huge grin spread over his face and he shook his head. “I love you. You’re scary sometimes, but I love you.” And he dropped his head to hers, meeting her lips halfway. He lost himself in the joy of holding her close, of glimpsing a future he never could have imagined.