The First Man

by Eugene O'neill

  ESTHER-[Suddenly.]She has stopped-[They all listen.]

  JAYSON-[Huskily.]Thank God, it's over at last.[The door is opened and MRS. DAVIDSON enters. The old lady is radiant, weeping tears of joy.]

  MRS. DAVIDSON-[Calls out exultantly between sobs.]A son, Curt-a son.[With rapt fervor-falling on her knees.] Let us all give thanks to God!

  CURTIS-[In a horrible cry of rage and anguish.]No! No! You lie![They all cry out in fright and amazement: "CURT!" The door is opened and the NURSE appears.]

  NURSE-[Looking at CURTIS, in a low voice.]Mr. Jayson, your wife is asking for you.

  BIGELOW-[Promptly slapping CURT on the back.]There! What did I tell you? Run, you chump!

  CURTIS-[With a gasp of joy.]Martha! Darling, I'm coming-[He rushes out after the NURSE.]

  BIGELOW-[Comes forward to get his hat and coat from the sofa- coldly.]Pardon me, please.[They shrink away from him.]

  EMILY-[As he goes to the door-cuttingly.]Some people seem to have no sense of decency!

  BIGELOW-[Stung, stops at the door and looks from one to the other of them-bitingly.]No, I quite agree with you.[He goes out, shutting the door. They all gasp angrily.]

  JOHN-Scoundrel!

  JAYSON-[Testily-going to MRS. D., who is still on her knees praying.]Do get up, Aunt Elizabeth! How ridiculous! What a scene if anyone should see you like that.[He raises her to her feet and leads her to a chair by the fire. She obeys unresistingly, seemingly unaware of what she is doing.]

  ESTHER-[Unable to restrain her jealousy.]So it's a boy.

  EMILY-Did you hear Curt-how he yelled out "No"? It's plain as the nose on your face he didn't want-

  ESTHER-How awful!

  JOHN-Well, can you blame him?

  EMILY-And the awful cheek of that Bigelow person-coming here-

  ESTHER-They appeared as friendly as ever when we came in.

  JOHN-[Scornfully.]Curt is a blind simpleton-and that man is a dyed-in-the-wool scoundrel.

  JAYSON-[Frightenedly.]Shhh! Suppose we were overheard!

  EMILY-When Curt leaves we can put her in her proper place. I'll soon let her know she hasn't fooled me, for one.[While she is speaking MRS. D. has gotten up and is going silently toward the door.]

  JAYSON-[Testily.]Aunt Elizabeth, where are you going?

  MRS. D.-[Tenderly.]I must see him again, the dear![She goes out.]

  ESTHER-[Devoured by curiosity-hesitatingly.]I think I-come on, Emily. Let's go up and see-

  EMILY-Not I! I never want to lay eyes on it.

  JOHN-Nor I.

  ESTHER-I was only thinking-everyone will think it funny if we don't.

  JAYSON-[Hastily.]Yes, yes. We must keep up appearances.[Getting to his feet.] Yes, I think we had better all go up-make some sort of inquiry about Martha, you know. It's expected of us and-[They are all standing, hesitating, when the door in the rear is opened and the NURSE appears, supporting CURT. The latter is like a corpse. His face is petrified with grief, his body seems limp and half-paralyzed.]

  NURSE-[Her eyes flashing, indignantly.]It's a wonder some of you wouldn't come up-here, help me! Take him, can't you? I've got to run back!

  [JAYSON and SHEFFIELD spring forward and lead CURT to a chair by the fire.]

  JAYSON-[Anxious.]Curt! Curt, my boy! What is it, son?

  EMILY-[Catching the NURSE as she tries to go.]Nurse! What is the matter?

  NURSE-[Slowly.]His wife is dead.[They are all still, stunned.] She lived just long enough to recognize him.

  EMILY-And-the baby?

  NURSE-[With a professional air.]Oh, it's a fine, healthy baby- eleven pounds-that's what made it so difficult.[She goes. The others all stand in silence.]

  ESTHER-[Suddenly sinking on the couch and bursting into tears.]Oh, I'm so sorry I said-or thought-anything wrong about her. Forgive me, Martha!

  SHEFFIELD-[Honestly moved but unable to resist this opportunity for Latin-solemnly.]De mortuis nil nisi bonum.

  JAYSON-[Who has been giving all his attention to his son.]Curt! Curt! EMILY-Hadn't the doctor better-

  JAYSON-Shhh! He begins to recognize me. Curt!

  CURTIS-[Looking around him bewilderedly.]Yes.[Suddenly remembrance comes and a spasm of intolerable pain contracts his features. He presses his hands to the side of his head and groans brokenly.] Martha! Gone! Dead! Oh![He appeals wildly to the others.] Her eyes-she knew me-she smiled-she whispered- forgive me, Curt,-forgive her-when it was I who should have said forgive me-but before I could-she-[He falters brokenly.]

  EMILY-[Looking from one to the other meaningly as if this justified all their suspicions.]Oh!

  CURTIS-[A sudden triumph in his voice.]But she loved me again- only me-I saw it in her eyes! She had forgotten-IT.[Raging.] Never let me see it! Never let it come near me! It has murdered her![Springing to his feet.] I hate it from the bottom of my soul-I will never see it-never-never-I take my oath![As his father takes his arm-shaking him off.] Let me go! I am going back to her![He strides out of the door in a frenzy of grief and rage. They all stand transfixed, looking at each other bewilderedly.]

  EMILY-[Putting all her venomous gratification into one word.]Well!

  [The Curtain Falls]

  ACT IV

  SCENE-Same as Act I. It is afternoon of a fine day three days later. Motors are heard coming up the drive in front of the house. There is the muffled sound of voices. The MAID is seen going along the hall to the front door. Then the family enter from the rear. First come JAYSON and ESTHER with MRS. DAVIDSON-then LILY, DICK and SHEFFIELD-then JOHN and his wife. All are dressed in mourning. The only one who betrays any signs of sincere grief isMRS. DAVIDSON. The others all have a strained look, irritated, worried, or merely gloomy. They seem to be thinking "The worst is yet to come."

  JAYSON-[Leading MRS. D., who is weeping softly, to the chair at left of table-fretfully.]Please do sit down, Aunt.[She does so mechanically.] And do stop crying.[He sits down in front of table. ESTHER goes to couch where she is joined by EMILY. MARK goes over and stands in back of them. DICK and JOHN sit at rear of table. LILY comes down front and walks about nervously. She seems in a particularly fretful, upset mood.]

  LILY-[Trying to conceal her feelings under a forced flippancy.]What ridiculous things funerals are, anyway! That stupid minister- whining away through his nose! Why does the Lord show such a partiality for men with adenoids, I wonder.

  JAYSON-[Testily.]Sshhh! Have you no respect for anything?

  LILY-[Resentfully.]If I had, I'd have lost it when I saw all of you pulling such long faces in the church where you knew you were under observation. Pah! Such hypocrisy! And then, to cap it all, Emily has to force out a few crocodile tears at the grave!

  EMILY-[Indignantly.]When I saw Curt-that's why I cried-not for her!

  JAYSON-What a scene Curt made! I actually believe he wanted to throw himself into the grave!

  DICK-You BELIEVE he wanted to! Why, it was all Mark and I could do to hold him, wasn't it, Mark?[SHEFFIELD nods.]

  JAYSON-Intolerable! I never expected he'd turn violent like that. He's seemed calm enough the past three days.

  LILY-Calm! Yes, just like a corpse is calm!

  JAYSON-[Distractedly.]And now this perfectly mad idea of going away to-day to join that infernal expedition-leaving that child on our hands-the child he has never even looked at! Why, it's too monstrously flagrant! He's deliberately flaunting this scandal in everyone's face!

  JOHN-[Firmly.]He must be brought to time.

  SHEFFIELD-Yes, we must talk to him-quite openly, if we're forced to. After all, I guess he realizes the situation more keenly than any of us.

  LILY-[Who has wandered to window on right.]You mean you think he believes-Well, I don't. And you had better be careful not to let him guess what you think.[Pointing outside.] There's my proof. There he is walking about with Bigelow. Can you imagine Curt doing that-if he thought for a moment-

  DICK-Oh, I guess Curt isn't all fool. He knows that's the very best way to keep people from suspecting.

  ESTHER-[Ind
ignantly.]But wouldn't you think that Bigelow person- It's disgusting, his sticking to Curt like this.

  SHEFFIELD-Well, for one, I'm becoming quite resigned to Bigelow's presence. In the first place, he seems to be the only one who can bring Curt to reason. Then again, I feel that it is to Bigelow's own interest to convince Curt that he mustn't provoke an open scandal by running away without acknowledging this child.

  LILY-[Suddenly bursting forth hysterically.]Oh, I hate you, all of you! I loathe your suspicions-and I loathe myself because I'm beginning to be poisoned by them, too.

  EMILY-Really, Lily, at this late hour-after the way Curt has acted-and her last words when she was dying-

  LILY-[Distractedly.]I know! Shut up! Haven't you told it a million times already?[MRS. DAVIDSON gets up and walks to the door, rear. She has been crying softly during this scene, oblivious to the talk around her.]

  JAYSON-[Testily.]Aunt Elizabeth! Where are you going?[As she doesn't answer but goes out into the hall.] Esther, go with her and see that she doesn't-

  ESTHER-[Gets up with a jealous irritation.]She's only going up to see the baby. She's simply forgotten everything else in the world!

  LILY-[Indignantly.]She probably realizes what we are too mean to remember-that the baby, at least, is innocent. Wait, Esther. I'll come with you.

  JAYSON-Yes, hurry, she shouldn't be left alone.[ESTHER and LILY follow the old lady out, rear.]

  DICK-[After a pause-impatiently.]Well, what next? I don't see what good we are accomplishing. May I run along?[He gets up restlessly as he is speaking and goes to the window.]

  JAYSON-[Severely.]You will stay, if you please. There's to be no shirking on anyone's part. It may take all of us to induce Curt-

  SHEFFIELD-I wouldn't worry. Bigelow is taking that job off our hands, I imagine.

  DICK-[Looking out of the window.]He certainly seems to be doing his damnedest.[With a sneer.] The stage missed a great actor in him.

  JAYSON-[Worriedly.]But, if Bigelow should fail-

  SHEFFIELD-Then we'll succeed.[With a grim smile.] By God, we'll have to.

  JAYSON-Curt has already packed his trunks and had them taken down to the station-told me he was leaving on the five o'clock train.

  SHEFFIELD-But didn't you hint to him there was now this matter of the child to be considered in making his plans?

  JAYSON-[Lamely.]I started to. He simply flared up at me with insane rage.

  DICK-[Looking out the window.]Say, I believe they're coming in.

  JAYSON-Bigelow?

  DICK-Yes, they're both making for the front door.

  SHEFFIELD-I suggest we beat a retreat to Curt's study and wait there.

  JAYSON-Yes, let's do that-come on, all of you.[They all retire grumblingly but precipitately to the study, closing the door behind them. The front door is heard opening and a moment later CURT and BIGELOW enter the room. CURT's face is set in an expression of stony grief. BIGELOW is flushed, excited, indignant.]

  BIGELOW-[As CURT sinks down on the couch-pleading indignantly.]Curt, damn it, wake up! Are you made of stone? Has everything I've said gone in one ear and out the other? I know it's hell for me to torment you at this particular time but it's your own incredibly unreasonable actions that force me to. I know how terribly you must feel but-damn it, man, postpone this going away! Face this situation like a man! Be reconciled to your child, stay with him at least until you can make suitable arrangements-

  CURTIS-[Fixedly.]I will never see it! Never!

  BIGELOW-How can you keep repeating that-with Martha hardly cold in her grave! I ask you again, what would she think, how would she feel-If you would only consent to see this baby, I know you'd realize how damnably mad and cruel you are. Won't you-just for a second?

  CURTIS-No.[Then raging.] If I saw it I'd be tempted to-[Then brokenly.]No more of that talk, Big. I've heard enough. I've reached the limit.

  BIGELOW-[Restraining his anger with difficulty-coldly.]That's your final answer, eh? Well, I'm through. I've done all I could. If you want to play the brute-to forget all that was most dear in the world to Martha-to go your own damn selfish way-well, there's nothing more to be said. You will be punished for it, believe me![He takes a step toward the door.] And I-I want you to understand that all friendship ceases between us from this day. You are not the Curt I thought I knew-and I have nothing but a feeling of repulsion-good-by.[He starts for the door.]

  CURTIS-[Dully.]Good-by, Big.

  BIGELOW-[Stops, his features working with grief and looks back at his friend-then suddenly goes back to him-penitently.]Curt! Forgive me! I ought to know better. This isn't you. You'll come to yourself when you've had time to think it over. The memory of Martha-she'll tell you what you must do.[He wrings CURT's hand.] Good-by, old scout!

  CURTIS-[Dully.]Good-by.[BIGELOW hurries out, rear. CURT sits in a dumb apathy for a while-then groans heart-brokenly.] Martha! Martha![He springs to his feet distractedly. The door of the study is slowly opened and SHEFFIELD peers out cautiously-then comes into the room, followed by the others. They all take seats as before. CURT ignores them.]

  SHEFFIELD-[Clearing his throat.]Curt-

  CURTIS-[Suddenly.]What time is it, do you know!

  SHEFFIELD-[Looking at his watch.]Two minutes to four.

  CURTIS-[Impatiently.]Still an hour more of this!

  JAYSON-[Clearing his throat.]Curt-[Before he starts what he intends to say, there is the sound of voices from the hall. ESTHER and LILY help in MRS. DAVIDSON to her former chair. The old lady's face is again transformed with joy. ESTHER joins EMILY on the couch. LILY sits in chair-front right. There is a long, uncomfortable pause during which CURT paces up and down.]

  MRS. DAVIDSON-[Suddenly murmuring aloud to herself-happily.]He's such a dear! I could stay watching him forever.

  JAYSON-[Testily.]Sshhh! Aunt![Then clearing his throat again.] Surely you're not still thinking of going on the five o'clock train, are you, Curt?

  CURTIS-Yes.

  SHEFFIELD-[Drily.]Then Mr. Bigelow didn't persuade you-

  CURTIS-[Coldly and impatiently.]I'm not to be persuaded by Big or anyone else. And I'll thank you not to talk any more about it.[They all stiffen resentfully at his tone.]

  JAYSON-[To CURT-in a pleading tone.]You mustn't be unreasonable, Curt. After all we are your family-your best friends in the world-and we are only trying to help you-

  CURTIS-[With nervous vehemence.]I don't want your help. You will help me most by keeping silent.

  EMILY-[With a meaning look at the others-sneeringly.]Yes, no doubt.

  ESTHER-Sshhh, Emily!

  JAYSON-[Helplessly.]But, you see, Curt-

  SHEFFIELD-[With his best judicial air.]If you'll all allow me to be the spokesman, I think perhaps that I-[They all nod and signify their acquiescence.]Well, then, will you listen to me, Curt?[This last somewhat impatiently as CURT continues to pace, eyes on the floor.]

  CURTIS-[Without looking at him-harshly.]Yes, I'm listening. What else can I do when you've got me cornered? Say what you like and let's get this over.

  SHEFFIELD-First of all, Curt, I hope it is needless for me to express how very deeply we all feel for you in your sorrow. But we sincerely trust that you are aware of our heartfelt sympathy.[They all nod. A bitter, cynical smile comes over LILY's face.]

  ESTHER-[Suddenly breaking down and beginning to weep.]Poor Martha![SHEFFIELD glances at his wife, impatient at this interruption. The others also show their irritation.]

  EMILY-[Pettishly.]Esther! For goodness sake![CURT hesitates, stares at his sister frowningly as if judging her sincerity-then bends down over her and kisses the top of her bowed head impulsively-seems about to break down himself-grits his teeth and forces it back-glances around at the others defiantly and resumes his pacing. ESTHER dries her eyes, forcing a trembling smile. The cry has done her good.]

  SHEFFIELD-[Clearing his throat.]I may truthfully say we all feel-as Esther does-even if we do not give vent-[With an air of sincere sympathy.]I know how terrible a day this must be for y
ou, Curt. We all do. And we feel guilty in breaking in upon the sanctity of your sorrow in any way. But, if you will pardon my saying so, your own course of action-the suddenness of your plans-have made it imperative that we come to an understanding about certain things-about one thing in particular, I might say.[He pauses. CURT goes on pacing back and forth as if he hadn't heard.]

  JAYSON-[Placatingly.]Yes, it is for the best, Curt.