Amaryllis (Suitors of Seattle)

by Osbourne, Kirsten

  She pushed away from him. “No, Alex. I can’t.” She started to open the door, but he caught her arm.

  “You have to. You could be carrying my baby.”

  She hadn’t thought of that, and turned back to him in surprise. “If that happens, we’ll talk about it then.” She turned to leave, taking the doorknob again.

  “Rilly, I don’t care if you’re pregnant or not. I want to marry you. I want you in my life forever.” His voice was low, but insistent.

  She shook her head. “I can’t marry a man I don’t trust. I’m sorry.” She tried the knob, but realized he’d locked it. “Give me the key.”

  He stared down at her, his eyes grim. “I’ll make you a deal. If you kiss me one last time, and still want to go, I’ll give you the key.”

  She stared up into his eyes and flushed. She shook her head. “Please just give me the key, Alex.” She didn’t want to kiss him again and end up back in a storm of emotions.

  He reached down to his suit jacket on the floor and pulled the key from the pocket, clenching it tightly in his fist. “One kiss, Rilly.” He knew it was a last ditch effort to get her to see that she loved him, and he knew that even if she left, he could go talk to her father, and the marriage would happen against her will, but he didn’t want that to have to happen. He loved her. How could he force her to marry him?

  She sighed heavily and moved closer to him. Keeping her lips pressed tightly together, she pressed her lips against his.

  He moved a hand beneath her hair, which was wild, hanging half off over her shoulders and half still in the tight bun from the morning, and held her to him. He deepened the kiss and felt her sagging against him. Even she couldn’t deny the passion that was there.

  When their lips finally parted, she pulled away from him and held her hand out for the key. He dropped it into her hand before turning to put clothes on. He’d have to figure out what to do. What choice had she left him? He couldn’t let her go.

  *****

  Amaryllis walked slowly through the quiet streets. It wasn’t raining for once, and she was thrilled. She didn’t pay attention to where she was walking, but she found herself in front of her oldest sister Rose’s house before too much time had passed. She sighed as she knocked on the door. Hopefully she would catch Rose before Shawn got home, and they could talk about how she was feeling. She desperately needed her sister’s advice.

  Rose opened the door herself and after taking a long look at Amaryllis she opened the door wide. Rose said nothing as she led her sister down the hall and into the small parlor she used for entertaining her friends. “You’d better tell me what happened, Amaryllis, because you look like you’ve been with a man.”

  Amaryllis sank down onto the small sofa and let her tears fall. “I was with Alex.” She knew her sister would interpret her words the correct way, and know just what she’d done.

  Rose didn’t say anything, but she looked relieved. “You’ll have to marry him now.”

  Amaryllis shook her head as she watched her sister. “I can’t marry someone I don’t trust.” How could she make people understand that? She couldn’t trust Alex not to run to another woman when she was pregnant or had small children to feed.

  “What if you’re expecting? You can’t raise a baby without a father.”

  Amaryllis shrugs. “If I’m expecting, then I’ll marry him. I pray that’s not the case. No child should have to be raised in a household where his parents don’t trust each other.”

  Rose sighed. “Why don’t you trust him?”

  “Sarah?” She said the name in a sarcastic tone of voice like she would have used when she was ten. There was something about being with her siblings that brought out the child in her.

  “I don’t think Sarah is anyone to worry about. He came back to you.” Rose looked like she was hiding something, but Amaryllis wasn’t willing to press her on it. She wanted her sister firmly on her side, and it didn’t feel like that was going to happen.

  Amaryllis sighed. “I should have known you’d take his side.”

  Rose shook her head, her blond hair bouncing. “It’s not that I’m taking his side. I just want you to be happy.”

  “Then you understand why I can’t possibly marry Alex.”

  “No, I really don’t. I think that the two of you belong together. You used to say you and Alex were soul mates.”

  Amaryllis shook her head, confused. “Well we are…or were. I don’t know anymore! I want to forget about him, but I just can’t. He kisses me, and my knees go week. Is that wrong of me?”

  Rose shook her head leaning forward to take Amaryllis’s hand in hers. “No, it’s not wrong, as long as you’re married to him. You need to give him another chance and marry him. You can’t risk Mama and Papa’s reputation with an out of wedlock baby.”

  Amaryllis shook her head adamantly. “But I don’t trust him!” How many times did she have to say that before someone understood her?

  Rose shrugged. “I trusted Shawn with everything inside me when I married him, but I shouldn’t have. I can now, of course. I think Alex is a lot more trustworthy than Shawn was. Marry him.”

  Amaryllis sighed. “I thought you of all people would be on my side, Rose.”

  “I am on your side. I want you to be happy, and I can’t see you happy with anyone but Alex.” Rose paused for a moment as if she were thinking. “I know you’ve been seeing someone else. Does he make you feel like Alex does?”

  Amaryllis shrugged. “Well, no. He kissed me, and it was boring.” She hated admitting that she preferred Alex’s kisses as she was trying to get her sister’s agreement that she shouldn’t marry him, but she wasn’t about to lie to her either.

  “And when Alex kisses you?”

  Amaryllis blushed. “I can’t seem to control how I feel about Alex. He kisses me once and I want to rip his clothes off so I can touch his skin.” She looked down at her hands after admitting that shameful fact.

  Rose laughed softly. “You need to marry Alex. You need to marry Alex yesterday.”

  Amaryllis stood. “I’ll think about it.”

  Rose looked at her sister. “You need to fix your hair before you leave, Rilly. It’s obviously been mussed.”

  Amaryllis walked over to the mirror on the wall and peered into it. Rose was right. Her hair was falling down around her shoulders. She quickly fixed it back into the tight bun she wore and headed for the door. “Thanks for talking to me.”

  Rose nodded, hugging her sister quickly. “I’m here for you.”

  Amaryllis walked toward home, knowing it was late enough that her parents would be worried. She rushed through the streets, hoping they wouldn’t ask where she’d been. She could honestly answer that she’d gone to her sister’s house, but she didn’t want to start telling half-truths to her parents.

  *****

  Alex knocked on the door of the battered women’s home where his mother and step-father worked and lived. When the door was opened by his mother, Mildred, he stepped inside, hugging her close. He had been in a hurry to see Amaryllis, and hadn’t stopped to see his mother or step-father in the time he’d been back in town.

  “Is John here?” he asked, knowing his mother wouldn’t be pleased he wanted to see his step-father but not her.

  Mildred made a face. “John? No ‘I missed you, Mama?’”

  Alex grinned. “I missed you, Mama. I really need to talk to John, though. I need some advice. About women.”

  “Well, of course, I couldn’t help with that not being a woman or anything.” He could hear the sarcasm dripping from her voice.

  Alex closed his eyes. “Please, Mama?”

  Mildred shook her head at him. “I’ll go get him. Wait in the office.”

  John Higgins, Alex’s step-father, kept an office in the battered women’s shelter where he lived with his wife. Alex had lived there with them before he’d gone off to college. Alex went into the office and took a seat at the chair in front of the desk where he knew John would sit. He j
ust hoped the older man would listen to his troubles and give him advice without censuring him. He knew he’d been wrong to rush Amaryllis into intimacy, but he’d been sure that if they’d had relations, she would see that she needed to marry him.

  John came into the room and closed the door behind him before pulling Alex to his feet and into a tight hug. “We missed you while you were away, son.”

  Alex clung to the man who had been more of a father to him than his own father. John had witnessed him accidentally kill his father when his father had hit his mother. He’d helped him through it and had talked to the police for him, instead of forcing him to stand alone. Then the following day, John had asked Mildred to marry him and had acted as if Alex was the son he’d always wanted. There had been no bad feelings between them as he’d heard there often was between a man and his step-children.

  John walked around the desk and took the chair behind it. “Your mom said you wanted to talk about women, and she wasn’t qualified?”

  Alex sighed. “I hope I didn’t hurt Mama’s feelings, but I needed to talk to you, not her.” He looked down at his hands. “You know that Amaryllis told me she was no longer interested in being my sweetheart two years ago. Somehow I still had in the back of my mind that we’d end up married. I just needed to finish school; and I’d come home with flowers, and she’d fall into my arms.” He laughed at himself. “It’s not quite working out that way.”

  John frowned. “I didn’t realize you were even still interested in marrying Amaryllis.”

  “I’ve thought of her every day. I dream of her every night.” He leaned back in the chair. “I got back in town, rented a small office with an apartment attached so I’d have a place to live, and went to see her. She was out with another man.” He shook his head. “That should have been my first clue.”

  “I hadn’t heard she was seeing anyone.”

  Alex shrugged. He knew his step-father would have been asked to investigate if Amaryllis was anywhere close to marriage. “Honestly, I don’t think it’s serious.” He stared at his step-father, trying to get the courage up to admit what he’d done. “I went to see her at the library, and she said she didn’t want to have anything to do with me ever again. I left, but only to make a plan. I’ve gone to see her several times since I’ve been home.”

  John nodded. “That doesn’t surprise me. You wouldn’t give up on her if you still had your mind set on marrying her.”

  “I grabbed her and pulled her into my office when she was on her way home today. I knew she walked right in front of it, but she didn’t even know it was mine, so I waited under the awning where she wouldn’t be able to see me, and grabbed her arm and pulled her inside.” His eyes met John’s evenly. “I locked the door so she couldn’t get out.”

  John’s eyes widened. “You didn’t hurt her did you?”

  “Of course not! I kissed her. I had in my head that if I could just show her how much feeling there was between us, she’d fall into my arms and tell me she’d be pleased to be my wife.”

  John smiled. “Didn’t work out that way, did it?”

  Alex shook his head. “No. Even after we made love, she’s still determined that she won’t marry me.”

  “Made love?” John frowned. “Before you were married?”

  Alex hung his head as he nodded. “Yes, before marriage. I didn’t really expect it to go that far, but I have to admit, I hoped it would.” He pushed a stray lock of hair off his forehead. “We both fell asleep, but when we woke, I asked her if she’d marry me. She got dressed and left. Nothing I said swayed her at all.”

  John sighed. “So now what?”

  “That’s what I’m trying to decide. I’ve half a mind to go admit to her father what I’ve done, because I know he would force the wedding, but I don’t know that I want to start a marriage with a reluctant wife either.”

  John seemed to think about the problem for a moment. “Well, do you think she loves you? Do you think you could eventually convince her that you did the right thing by forcing her into marriage?”

  Alex nodded. “I don’t think that Amaryllis would be intimate with a man she didn’t love.”

  John sat watching his son, contemplating the problem. “I think you have two choices. You can continue to try to convince her that you love her and will be faithful to her, and that the two of you belong together, which is probably the safest way, but it’s certainly not the fastest. Or you can go to her father and explain what’s happened. He’ll force her to marry you, and you’ll have her now. I can’t promise he won’t shoot you, but I don’t think he would. She may never forgive you, though.”

  Alex sighed. “That’s what I’m worried about. I don’t want to start our marriage with her hating me.”

  John shook his head. “You need to make a decision. I’ll stand by you either way. You don’t want her to have your child out of wedlock either way.”

  “I know. How would you and Mama feel about having a grandchild?”

  John grinned widely. “I can’t think of anything we’d like more.”

  Alex got to his feet. “Thank you.”

  “Have you made a decision?” John unfolded his lanky frame from his chair. His only child had died many years before, and he thought of Alex as his son.

  “Not yet. I’ll walk and think.” Alex walked toward the front door. “Tell Mama I’ll come see her soon.”

  John shook his head. “You’re not even going to let her feed you a piece of pie?”

  “Not tonight.”

  “I understand why, but you’ll need to make it up to her soon.”

  Alex smiled wearily. “I will. I promise.” He went to the front door and left, walking slowly toward his office, trying to make his decision. Did he force Amaryllis into marriage and incur her wrath? Or did he wait and try to convince her they belonged together?

  *****

  When Amaryllis got within sight of the house, she realized there was someone walking behind her. She sped up her footsteps, not wanting to be caught alone on the streets. Seattle wasn’t a dangerous place, but any place could be dangerous for a young woman out alone after dark.

  She realized the steps had followed her up the walk to her house and turned to see who was behind her. “Alex. I don’t want to see you.”

  Alex shook his head slowly. “I’m here to see your father. Not you.” Until that moment, he hadn’t been sure if he wanted to talk to him or try to convince her one more time to just marry him.

  “My father? What business do you have with him?”

  Alex shrugged, avoiding her gaze. “He and I need to have a talk.”

  “About what?” She looked at him, trying to figure out what he would talk to her father about. “Not about what happened between us?”

  Alex met her eyes. “Yes, about what happened between us. You’re not listening to reason, Rilly. We need to get married now. Things got out of hand between us earlier, and you could be carrying my child.”

  Amaryllis stomped her foot. “I will marry you if I find out I’m carrying. Enough babies are born early that no one would think a thing of it.”

  Alex put his hand on her arm. “But it’s not just if you’re carrying. When you marry a man has a right to expect to be his bride’s first.” His hand went to her cheek as he stared into her blue eyes. “You can’t give another man your first time. I took that choice from you this afternoon. We have to marry.” He wanted desperately to be able to talk her into it, so her father wouldn’t have to get involved. He didn’t want to do that to her.

  “No we don’t! I can’t marry a man I don’t trust, Alex. And I don’t trust you! Not at all!”

  “You gave up the right to make that choice when you let me touch you today. I love you with everything inside me, and I want to be the man who holds you every night. Give me the chance to prove to you that we belong together.”

  Amaryllis closed her eyes against the storm of emotions flooding through her. “I can’t marry you, Alex. It wouldn’t work out between us
.” She felt one tear trickle down her cheek and hoped he wouldn’t notice in the dark.

  He reached out and brushed her tear away with his thumb. “I’ll never make you cry again. I promise. Please, just give me a chance to show you how much I love you and that I can be trusted. I need that from you.” He pulled her to him with his free hand brushing her lips with the softest kiss she’d ever felt.

  The door opened with a bang. “Amaryllis! What are you thinking standing here on the front step kissing a man you’re not even engaged to?” Fred Sullivan’s eyes were angry as he stared down at his daughter.

  “Papa, it’s not what it looks like!” she protested.

  Fred glared at her. “You’re not standing on my front step in a wrinkled gown with your hair mussed and your lips swollen from kisses in the arms of a young man? Because that’s what it looks like to me.”

  “Papa, please, let me explain.” Amaryllis’s mind raced as she tried to come up with an explanation for her behavior. How could she explain the obvious away?

  “You’ll go to your room and wait until you’re called.” Fred shook his head at her. “And you? You’re coming with me.” He pointed at Alex, obviously angry with him as well.

  Amaryllis didn’t go to her room and instead went in search of her mother as soon as the two men were closed off in her father’s study. She needed to have someone on her side, and Mary would surely agree that she didn’t want her daughter to be forced to live with a man she couldn’t trust.

  She rushed through the house and found her mother in the parlor with her younger sisters. Mary took one look at Amaryllis and sent the others from the room. “Sit down and talk to me.” Mary’s eyes noted the rumpled dress and the swollen lips as well as the eyes still red from tears.

  Amaryllis sat on the sofa beside her mother, uncertain how to begin the conversation she needed to have. She stared at her hands in her lap as she wrung them together.