by Jenny Lynn
Chapter Twenty
Beckett
It was early, I gasped awake from a nightmare as usual but it had been so sudden I didn’t wake Ella this time. I looked over at her in my bed, then carefully slipped out trying not to wake her. After we left the theatre I kept my hand on her thigh as I drove, slowly sliding up under her skirt. The hunger in me that wanted her was insatiable, even when I tried to play the gentleman. I was Jekyl, but Hyde was always whispering in my ear reminding me how good her soft body felt. How naturally she submitted to me, her trust and willingness intoxicating me beyond belief. While I drove and teased her, her cheeks flushed and she bit her lip. It drove me wild.
I slammed on the brakes when we pulled into my parking space then I undid her seatbelt, yanking her on top of me while I unzipped my pants. I fucked her in the front seat of my car, hard, the horn blaring when I pressed her back into the steering wheel.
Afterwards she held my hand as I pulled her into the elevator. When we got upstairs I threw her on the couch and ravaged her again and again, making her come until she couldn’t move her legs. Finally satisfied, I carried her to bed and cradled her in my arms. Being with Ella calmed the anger inside me, for a while, but as I pulled on sweatpants and left my room I was restless all over again.
I didn’t know how to do this. I didn’t know how to be the kind of man a woman like Ella deserved, and I definitely didn’t know how to be in a relationship. She knew everything about me, which meant that sooner or later she would try to convince me not to kill Marco Venetti. I would never be able to promise her that. This was a blood debt, and it needed to be repaid. Even if in the end it cost me my life.
I poured myself a scotch and went into my office to get caught up on a bit of research. I needed to figure out a way to get close to Marco again, and this time out of range of snipers. It needed to be indoors, it needed to have space away from crowds, and it needed to have exits for after I was done. I was drinking and wracking my brain of possibilities when an email made me grip my glass tighter. I had to put it down or else I was going to shatter it. There, buried in my emails, was an invitation. The Venetti family was having a fundraiser for the LVPD and as a recent benefactor I had been invited to attend.
I couldn’t believe my fucking luck. Marco was offering me his head on a silver platter. By inviting Beckett Carter to his function, he had no idea who he was really letting through his doors. The gala was on Monday, giving me a day to prepare. I needed to make a plan, I needed to think this through. There would be heavy security, especially after my attack on him a few nights ago. Marco was smart, I just needed to be smarter. This was going to be it, everything had led up to this point. Marco Venetti was going to admit what he did to my parents, and then he was going to die. I was going to watch as that bastard choked on his own blood, drawing his very last shaky breath.
I pounded back my drink then headed for the gym. I worked out hard, running full speed on the treadmill then lifting weights. I dodged and hit the bag, guided by muscle memory to push myself to the limits of what I was capable of. I was going to need to be fast, I was going to need to be ruthless. I was going to need to be deadly. I kicked the bag so hard the chain swung hard from the ceiling and came back in an arc. There was a gasp at my side as Ella stepped back, the bag missing her as it moved. I reached forward and steadied it so it wouldn't knock her to the floor.
“Careful,” I told her, catching my breath. “Why are you out of bed?”
“I noticed you were out of bed, I wondered if you had another nightmare.”
“I’m fine,” I lied. “I don’t sleep much. I came to blow off some steam.”
Ella wandered around the room, running her hands over equipment. Staffs, fencing swords and daggers. She eyed them closely, then looked at me.
“Where did you learn to fight?” she asked finally.
I sighed, then walked from the room. She followed me to the bar and watched as I poured myself another scotch. “Would you like a drink?”
“Okay,” she said. “Gin and tonic?”
I nodded then made her a drink and handed it over. I went to sit on the leather couch in the corner where she joined me. I knew she was waiting for an answer. I didn’t see any harm in telling her about how I became who I am.
“When I was in school, after my parents died, I had a lot of anger issues. If kids teased me for having no parents, I would get into fights. Nothing serious, but enough to get me expelled from two private schools.”
“That’s horrible,” Ella gasped. “You were clearly in pain, you shouldn’t have been punished.:
“Teachers told my grandmother I needed an outlet, that I needed discipline. So she found a private school affiliated with the army. Suddenly I had boundaries, structure and training. I learned to channel my anger. I learned hand to hand combat, martial arts, fencing and weapons training. But it was just the start. The director of the school, Bishop, was ex special ops. He took an interest in me. I think he could tell how broken I was. When I graduated he took me under his wing, he continued to teach me with a small number of advanced students that caught his eye. Some of them went on to be mercenaries or bodyguards. Me? I went on to become a businessman by day and the Phantom by night.”
“Are you still in touch with Bishop?”
I nodded. “He never asked me directly if I was the Phantom, but I think he suspects it given the news coverage and he knows I live here. I see him a few times a year, he comes to Vegas with a top student and we spar. Or I make a visit to his studio in Montana. He’s the closest thing I have to a father figure.”
“So this man… he trains people to become killers.” Ella’s voice was soft.
“All of us that he trains, we have something in us. Something dark and broken. He helps us become more than barroom brawlers or thugs. He helps us channel the anger into something of value to society.”
“Will you do this for the rest of your life?”
“I don’t know,” I took a gulp of scotch. “I’ll tell you after Monday.”
Her head shot up and I immediately regretted my words.
“What happens Monday Beckett?”
Her light eyes were staring right into mine, searching, questioning. I shifted the glass in my hand and the ice rattled, the only sound in the empty room.
“Don’t worry about it Ella.”
“If you’re going to do something that can potentially get you killed, how can you ask me not to worry about it?” She stood up and faced me, her hands balled at her sides.
“No one knows about us Ella. If I’m found out, nothing will happen to you.”
Her eyes started to water and her lip trembled.
“I’m not worried about myself Beckett, how do you not see that yet?”
Her voice was so soft, so broken, it made my heart drop in my chest. I never expected Ella to develop feelings for me, and I never expected to develop feelings for her. But I couldn’t stop now, not when I was so close. I finished my drink then put the glass down, standing up and scooping Ella into my arms. She instinctively wrapped her legs around my waist. I reached up and held her head in place, forcing her eyes to meet my own.
“No matter what happens Ella, you have shown me a side of myself that I didn’t know existed. I will always be grateful for that.”
A tear fell down her cheek and I kissed it away, walking with her out the room and down the hallway. I went through my bedroom, into the bathroom and walked into the shower stall. I reached for the faucet and turned on the overhead streams as I continued to kiss her, plundering her mouth with unrestrained need. Both of us were clinging to each other, our need raw and exposed. We were both so broken, but together our shards fit and it felt like for once in my life I was whole. She made me whole.
As the warm water rained down on us it soaked our clothes, they became damp and heavy against our bodies. My tongue still exploring between her lips I lifted her wet t-shirt up, then yanked it over her head and let it fall in a wet heap on the tile floor. I stood
her up and pulled down her underwear, kissing over her stomach as she wound her fingers in my hair.
My mouth found its way between her legs as I kissed her there, in her softest and sweetest place, my tongue moving over her as she moaned. I stroked her softly, gently, as if it was the first and last time I would ever touch her. Her legs were shaking and she tugged my face up to look into her eyes.
“Please,” her voice was a rasp in the steady spray of water. “I want you.”
I shoved out of my soaking sweatpants, standing and holding her face in my hands. I kissed her, moving my mouth against her soft lips as she clung to my arms, pressing her slick body against my own. I pulled back and held her face in my hands, looking into her eyes.
“Where have you been all my life?” I asked, my voice low and raw.
Ella bit her lip, looking at me with the same vulnerability that drew me to her in the first place.
“Waiting for you.”
I lifted her, pressing her against the tile, keeping eye contact as I positioned the head of my cock against her entrance. I waited, her soft eyes staring into mine, and then I slowly entered her. Her mouth fell open as she gasped and slowly I filled her, inch by inch.
I took my time. I let her body stretch and adjust around me until I was deep and snug inside her. Then I pulled back. The entire time I kept my eyes trained on hers, not breaking contact. I wanted to see her face, I wanted to memorize every line and feature. I wanted to burn an image of the way she looked at me into my mind so that I could lock it away and pull it back whenever I felt like more of a monster than a man.
Slowly, I moved in and out as she kept her legs wrapped tight around me. I supported her body against the cool tile, our bodies wet and sliding together as the water rained down on us, steady droplets and steam hanging in the air.
I dropped one of my hands down her stomach and found her clit, stroking her as I thrust upwards steadily. Ella moaned and closed her eyes, I pressed a kiss against her lips.
“Keep your eyes open. Keep looking at me Ella, I want to see you.”
Shyly, she did as I asked. She opened her eyes and I could see the desire building in her. I continued to rub her as I moved in and out of her, she was so warm and tight, I kept my pace smooth and even. This was not about conquering her, this was about watching her pleasure bloom and burst open in front of me.
Ella bit her lip and moaned, twisting against the wall. I could tell she was close and I stroked faster, teasing her sensitive clit as her body responded to my touch and deep thrusts inside her. I stared into her eyes and she looked into mine, her body quivering.
“Beckett!” she gasped.
I didn’t let up, I guided her body to the edge then tipped her over, feeling her arch her back and squeeze her legs tighter as she lost control. Just as I asked, she continued to look into my eyes as her mouth dropped open and she found her release. She clenched around me and I raced to meet her, moving faster through her pulsing core as it gripped down on my thick cock. I gripped her hips and bounced her up and down on my shaft as I pressed her body against the tile my eyes burning into hers as I groaned, then came with a fierce orgasm that shook through my entire body.
I dug my fingers into her hips, thrusting a few final times, spreading myself inside her as our bodies clung together. Not once did we look away, not once did we break the connection between us. I had never felt so close to another human being, never felt the darkness give way to something softer until this moment.
I buried my face against Ella’s neck, trailing soft kisses against her collarbone as we held onto each other in the wet stream. My heart was racing, and I could feel hers beating to match my own as I kissed down her neck to her breasts. Turning off the water I scooped her into my arms then carried her back to my bed.
Chapter Twenty One
Ella
After the shower, I fell back asleep in Beckett’s arms. I felt incredible as I closed my eyes, but when I woke up alone again my heart dropped. He kept doing that. I could tell he wasn’t a man who was used to getting a full nights sleep, and living a double life probably didn’t help either. I got dressed and headed for the kitchen where I found Beckett making coffee.
“I’d love a cup,” I told him. He turned and smiled at me.
“Sorry for sneaking out of bed again,” his smile lit up his face. Last night he seemed so wounded and tortured, this morning he was light and carefree. The two sides of Beckett Carter. “You look so calm when you’re sleeping,” he added. “I never want to wake you. I wish I could sleep like you do.”
“How long have you had the nightmares?” I was hesitant to ask the question, not wanting to ruin the cheerful mood, but I was so curious about everything when it came to Beckett.
“Ever since my parents died,” he said, his smile fading from his face. “My grandmother had me see a Psychiatrist, but it didn’t help. I took sleeping pills for a while, but decided against it a few years ago. I don’t want to forget them, even if my memories aren’t always good ones.”
“That’s how I feel about Dana,” I admitted as I clutched the coffee he had poured me. It was warm and soothing against the palms of my hands. “I try to focus on the good memories. Of the nights we played cards, or we would goof around with makeup. She was my best friend. But ever since she disappeared, I can’t help but think about all of the horrible things that could have happened to her. That’s why I focus on crime reporting, I want to uncover something that might lead me to her. Either alive, or…”
I stared into the dark coffee, letting my sentence hang in the air. I stirred in milk and sugar, then took a sip.
“What if I helped you?” Beckett offered. My head popped up and I stared at him, confused. “I have access to the best private detectives, databases, not to mention my own methods of getting information. I could help you find out what happened to your sister, if you want.”
“I already used a private detective.”
Beckett shook his head. “Whoever he was, he’s not as good as the people I can hire.”
I bit my lip, tempted but this was my own private problem, not his.
“I can’t ask you to do that Beckett.”
“I want to,” he assured me. He took a pan out and put it on the stove. “How do you like your eggs?” He switched the subject, giving me no choice but to follow him.
“Over easy,” I smiled. I watched him as he got to work making me breakfast, relaxing in the early afternoon sunlight that was beaming in through the large windows. Our weekend was coming to an end, and despite all my worries that Beckett would never be able to give me what I wanted, it turned out he was everything I needed.
***
After a long goodbye, Beckett holding me back and kissing me deeply, I finally pulled myself into the elevator and out of his penthouse. I had some research to do, not to mention laundry and a few chores. My place was a fraction the size of Beckett’s but I didn’t have the luxury of a cleaning lady. I had to scrub my counters and shower tiles all by myself.
I had just brought a load back from the laundromat and was putting my clothes away when my phone rang. I glanced at the display and saw that it was Seth. I cradled the phone against my ear as I slid a dress onto a hanger.
“Hey Seth, what’s up?”
“Hey Ella. Look, I feel bad about how I acted last time we talked. I was wondering if you’d like to grab a drink and a burger, my treat?”
I looked around my apartment. “Gee Seth, I’d love to, but I’m in the middle of cleaning up…” I thought back on all the months between us, of the feelings he developed for me that I couldn’t reciprocate. He was trying to salvage our friendship, and I needed to meet him halfway. “You know what? Chores can wait. Where should I meet you?”
“Really? Awesome, thanks Ella.” I could practically hear the smile in his voice. “Meet me at Burger Shack?”
“I can be there in a half hour.”
“See you soon Ella.”
I hung up then left the rest of my c
lothes in a pile on my bed, fishing out a sundress and slipping out of my shorts and t-shirt. I took my hair out of the ponytail, quickly touched up my makeup then grabbed my bag and went outside to catch transit to the restaurant.
When I arrived Seth was already seated in a booth waiting for me. He was dressed in a grey t-shirt that showed off his toned arms, his hair messy and boyish against his forehead. There was no denying he was an attractive man, but he did nothing for me. Or at least, not the things that seeing Beckett did to me. Seth noticed me walk in and smiled, I headed over and sat across from him. There was an awkward pause where neither of us said anything. I never meant to involve Seth in a love triangle, but then again, I never expected to be involved with Beckett Carter. Not only one of the wealthiest and most powerful men in the city, but a man harbouring a dangerous secret.
“It’s good to see you Ella,” Seth said finally. “What have you been up to this weekend?”
I bit my lip and glanced down at the table. He sighed and nodded.
“You were with him, the guy you can’t tell me about. It’s okay, you can say it. If we’re going to stay friends, I need to make my peace with that.”
Mercifully a waitress came by and broke the tension. Seth gestured for me to order.
“I’d like the cheeseburger with fries and a strawberry milkshake,” I told her.
“Bacon cheeseburger for me, and a bottle of Corona,” Seth added.
She walked away, leaving us sitting across from each other again. It felt strained. He was the same Seth I had come to know, but I was the one who had changed. Being with Beckett had changed something in me, what happened in the warehouse had stripped away a layer of the woman I used to be. Now I better understood what the criminal world really was, the type of men who existed and didn’t hesitate to live by their own rules. To rape and ruin, to maim and kill. And it would never stop, not until people strong enough exposed them. When you turn on the bright lights, cockroaches scurry for cover.